Prepare yourself for a very dark Rebus novel
We have a rough idea that it involves giant mice galloping feverishly on running wheels that are attached to the national grid.
Clearly the mice in Spain and Portugal have been enjoying too many siestas when they should have been breaking a sweat.
How else to explain the recent blackouts in those countries?
Edinburgh crime scribe Ian Rankin found himself in Portugal, celebrating a very special occasion when the blackout hit.
'A 65th birthday to remember,' he says. 'Power went out as we boarded an underground train. Stayed off around 10 hours. Top tip: always book a hotel with natural light in its corridors and stairwells. Ours was like the blitz…'
On the plus side, this experience will surely give Ian some ideas for his next Rebus novel, which we're guessing will be titled… Dark Deeds in Dark Corridors.
Cash and carry
Reasonable reader Steve Graham says: 'Perhaps it's true that money can't buy happiness. But it's only fair that somebody gives me some and lets me learn that lesson for myself.'
Hugh Dougherty wonders why the road crew who obliterated the craters on Glasgow's Merrylee Road left this mysterious slot. 'Could it be,' he wonders, 'to accommodate a giant Scalextric set?' (Image: Contributed)
Stormy language
Watching meteorologists pontificate on the telly isn't the most thrilling of activities.
Your average weatherman or weatherwoman usually just points at an image of the UK covered with loads of clouds, then says: 'Heavy downfalls expected, with light showers interspersed between the heavy downfalls, and a smattering of drizzle between the light showers. Now back to the news.'
Though occasionally something more unexpected happens during such broadcasts, as the Diary has been discussing.
Peter Wright from West Kilbride says: 'Who can forget Michael Fish gesticulating as his arm highlighted the magnetic letters 'F O G' down the Pennines. Then the 'F' fell off, leading to the immortal apology: 'Sorry about the 'F' in FOG.''
Stoned again
'Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?' asks frustrated reader George Hackett. 'I have more than a hundred wooden balls already…'
Fruity fella
What happened to those halcyon days when teenage lads met to discuss the footy?
Gone, it seems. Now they have more serious thoughts on their mind.
Chris Robertson was on a Glasgow train and overheard one young chap say to another: 'Bro'! Have you changed your opinion on cheese, grapefruit or grapes?'
'Nah,' replied his pal. 'I'm sticking.'
Movie munchies
Cinephile Bev Skarratt tells us: 'I recently watched the film A Fistful Of French Sticks. It's a Baguettey Western.'
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Loose Women's Kaye Adams hints at major life change after saying 'I lost my job'
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