Millennial Dad's Reason for Keeping Child From Grandparents Shocks Internet
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.
Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content.
A millennial father has stirred intense debate online after revealing that he and his wife are keeping their baby son away from his grandmother—because she fed him custard and "broke boundaries."
The Reddit user, u/Mysterious-File9406, shared his story on the popular subreddit "Am I The A******, where it quickly racked up over 5,700 upvotes and more than 4,000 comments. The post detailed a family reunion that took a sharp turn when the dad's 68-year-old mother fed their baby custard using a spoon, an act that went directly against the couple's parenting rules.
"When caught with the custard, my wife immediately took our son and left the room upset without saying a word," the dad wrote. "I stayed behind and asked my mom why she didn't ask first, and she said, 'Because I knew you'd say no.' I was livid—this showed she knowingly overrode our parenting decisions. Later she tried to brush it off as sarcasm. My mom's sister, who witnessed it, validated my wife's reaction."
The couple had two parenting rules in place: no sugar before the child turns 1; and no spoon-feeding, as they are following Baby-Led Weaning. According to Huckleberry Care, BLW is an approach to introducing solids that encourages babies to feed themselves from the start with finger foods, promoting independence and fine motor development.
The following day, the couple sat down with the grandparents to discuss what happened. The poster said that, although his mother initially apologized, she soon began changing her story, claiming it was a fork, not a spoon, and that the baby had "reached for it." Tensions escalated. The dad defended his wife's reaction, noting: "Neither of us remember screaming but we aren't going to gaslight her."
They cut short their visit and reduced communication. The poster's wife, who had been sending daily updates and photos of their son, stopped entirely. He now sends occasional updates himself.
The couple attempted reconciliation through a structured exercise involving discussion of grandparent expectations. While the grandparents agreed and were invited to the child's first birthday, contingent on participation, things fell apart again. The mother refused to appear on camera during the scheduled video call, stating, "I called every shot so far," and would only listen off-camera. This led the poster's wife to feel slighted and revoke their birthday invitation.
Further comments from the poster's mother included what he described as a "veiled threat" and shifting explanations. Ultimately, the couple requested that the dad's parents begin therapy before they resume visits. The parents' response repeated concerns about "screaming" and questioned if "this will work out"—though they still requested photos "every once in a while."
Stock image: A dad holds his baby at a table with a laptop and looks fed up.
Stock image: A dad holds his baby at a table with a laptop and looks fed up.
Prostock-Studio/iStock / Getty Images Plus
"Since then, I've kept casual conversation open but deflect photo and visit requests until they start therapy," the poster concluded.
He then posed two questions to the subreddit: "AITA for holding this boundary until therapy happens?" and, "Is my wife TAH for 'yelling' or revoking the daily photos in response?"
The poster noted that, prior to the incident, the grandparents had been present at the birth and had two "good visits" where boundaries were respected, making the custard incident especially jarring.
Expert Insight
Melanie Preston is a licensed mental-health therapist and relationship architect at Matter of Focus Counseling. She told Newsweek that parenting conflicts like this often stem from deeper emotional roots.
"Feeding is one of the oldest love languages in families," Preston said. "When new parents set limits, it can feel like a personal rejection to the older generations, even though it's simply a change, not a critique. Food and 'baby's feeding time' isn't just about nutrition; it's about nostalgia, culture, and power."
Preston added that, while postpartum boundaries may upset others, maintaining them is critical for new parents' mental health.
"Protecting your peace postpartum is survival, not selfishness. Choose boundaries that preserve your trust, your baby's safety, and your own emotional recovery, even if it ruffles feathers. Conflict doesn't mean you're failing as a family. It means you're building a new ecosystem, and that's messy work," Preston said.
As for requesting therapy before resuming contact, she noted: "Sometimes, asking for therapy is an olive branch. Other times, it's a line in the sand."
Frank Thewes, therapist and owner of Path Forward Therapy LLC, offered a more critical take with Newsweek.
"OP [the original poster] and his wife seem to be channeling anxiety into hyper-controlling behaviors around their child," Thewes said. "While parents absolutely have a right to set boundaries and expectations around their own child, OP and his partner seem to have taken boundaries and turned them into regulations."
Thewes questioned the tone and rigidity of some of the couple's demands, such as the "no photo requests before 10 a.m." rule, describing it as seeming "extreme."
"Absent a great deal of context, the poster and his partner appear hyper-controlling and unreasonable to me. But it is within their right to set rules around their infant, even if those rules are controlling and excessive," Thewes said.
Reddit Reacts
Reddit users had mixed reactions, with some supporting the couple's stance while others questioned their rigidity.
"Initially I totally understand you guys being upset. However, the behavior around that video call sounds insane," wrote one commenter. "If you want this to be the end of your relationship with your parents you can continue with the mindset you currently have … but if you'd actually like to mend this bridge I'd consider acting like people on both sides are humans that deserve some grace."
Another added: "It's totally annoying that your parents aren't respecting boundaries … But you can't use your child as a manipulation tool."
A third user zeroed in on the peculiar detail: "Why is 'no photo requests before 10 a.m.' a boundary???? I need the rationale behind that one. OP sounds exhausting."
And another summed up the mood shift among many readers: "Yeah, I started out on OP's side, but then things got out of hand. They keep raising the bar higher. It's excessive."
Newsweek reached out to u/Mysterious-File9406, for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
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