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As an American in Scotland, I know we need many things – but Donald Trump isn't one of them

As an American in Scotland, I know we need many things – but Donald Trump isn't one of them

The Guardian7 days ago
As an American comedian living in Scotland, I'm often asked: 'Krystal, why don't you talk about Trump more on stage? I'll bet that subject is rife for comedy!' Yesterday he was in Washington, today the schedule says Scotland. I know this visit isn't a personal attack on me, but woo boy, it sure does feel like it. I live in Edinburgh. But I didn't come to Scotland so I could be around the most annoying, unhinged, rich Americans in existence.
There are many reasons I don't tend to talk about Donald Trump that much on stage. For one, that 10 to 20 seconds in the morning before I remember who occupies the position of president of the United States is honestly the best part of my day. And those few precious moments I savour will not be present for me over the next four days, because the aura of Trump's presence will permeate my consciousness, not to mention all the major news outlets, with everyone giving their very strong opinions on this man who has managed to inflame humanity more than anyone in all of our collective living memory. And what's more, he doesn't seem to care.
But it sure does feel like he wants Scotland to love him, doesn't it? He desperately wants to be embraced as Scottish. His mother was born on the Isle of Lewis, so I suppose that's something.
But the truth is, he's just like any other American who comes to Scotland on holiday. I love asking American tourists what brings them to Scotland, because they always say the same thing. 'Well, actually you see … I'm Scottish. And I'm tracing my roots.' And I always say to them: 'Wow. You should definitely tell every Scottish person you meet that. Watch out, because you're going to be so popular.'
If I had to find an upside to Trump visiting, and there aren't many, I'd say at least it makes me look good in comparison. It's the same reason I love having English people at Scottish gigs. I once dated a Scottish guy who said to me: 'Don't worry Krystal, I hate the English way more than I hate the Americans.' What an absolute sweetheart.
And the thing is, as much as I hate to admit it, I know where Trump is coming from when he expresses a small need for Scotland to accept him. Because I feel the same. I love Scotland. I've had my kids here (and not just because it's free and I can't pass up a deal). I will always live here. I just know it. I've never lived anywhere longer than I've lived in Scotland. I have a lot in common with many Scots I encounter. I've been drinking heavily my entire life and yet for some reason, still can't hold my liquor. I buy those weird little flat barbecues and burn a hole in the grass right under the 'no barbecuing' sign. I've even accidentally said 'aye' unironically more than once.
Why don't I talk about Trump more in my comedy? Honestly, I've lived here so long I know more about Nicola Sturgeon and the reintroduction of wolves than any of Trump's day-to-day blunders.
So he's here, and nearly every person I've told that I'm writing this article has warned me that I'll probably be monitored and put on some government list of scary, threatening comedians and writers who are flagged as they try to enter the US for saying unfavourable things about Trump. I guess we'll just have to see how that goes.
It's difficult to put into words the way his visit truly makes me feel, but I know who could. Nine years ago, during another visit by Trump, the late comedian Janey Godley knew exactly what to do. A one-woman protest, with a very very sweary sign making clear her absolute disdain for the would-be president. Humour and rebellion. Mutiny. Her act of defiance went around the world.
With Trump in Scotland, on his golf course at Turnberry, Godley knew that no long, flowery language was needed. No 1,000-word opinion pieces. (Though she could smash those, too.)
Mr President, you probably don't even know who Janey Godley is. Which is one of the many reasons you will never, ever be Scottish. But she crafted those beautiful four sweary words saying exactly what she thought of you. She expressed in perfect, poignant prose what so many of us feel down to the marrow of our bones. I won't quote her directly, of course, but we all know it.
I'm sure you'll enjoy your time here, protected by Scottish police and security. Playing golf and speaking with other powerful men. Enjoying the delicious Scottish tap water. And you're allowed to do that, I guess. But we don't have to like it.
Krystal Evans is an American comedian who lives in Scotland. Her latest show, A Star is Burnt, is at the Edinburgh festival fringe 2025
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The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein
The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein

The Guardian

time31 minutes ago

  • The Guardian

The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein

Democrats must not let Jeffrey Epstein die. They must highlight how this saga exposes the president for who he has always been. In the decade Teflon Don has spent on the national stage, no scandal has stuck to and haunted him quite so viscerally as the Epstein affair. He's never before appeared so flustered, forced to answer question after question about the women and girls whose lives were destroyed by his former 'best friend'. The world may never know what is inside the so-called 'Epstein files.' What is clear is that the contents are damaging enough for the president and his human flak jackets to call the whole affair a 'hoax', recess Congress to prevent a vote on releasing the materials and send the deputy attorney general to visit Tallahassee, Florida, to speak to the convicted child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, who was subsequently moved to a 'cushy', celebrity-riddled minimum security prison in Bryan, Texas. As the conservative pundit Bill Kristol noted over the weekend: '[Richard Nixon] said of Watergate, 'I gave them a sword. And they stuck it in, and they twisted it with relish.' Trump may have given us a sword. We should use it.' Kristol is right, to a point. Liberals, progressives and never-Trump Republicans must not let voters forget Trump's festering, open wound without neglecting the kitchen table, cost-of-living matters that hurt them last fall. In 2007, a far sharper and far more spry Joe Biden delivered a quip so clever and cutting that it ended another man's entire political career. Rudy Giuliani was never able to recover after Biden observed how it seemed 'there's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11'. The line was funny because it was true; it was lethal because it exposed the emptiness behind the former New York City mayor's tragedy-fueled candidacy. This is the challenge for Democrats: how do they maintain a spotlight on a scandal that reveals Trump for who he is in a way that finally resonates with his base without appearing to exploit a tragedy , à la Giuliani? They must ground the abstract conspiracy in everyday terms relatable to the average American. It goes like this: Trump protects elites. Say it in every stump speech, vent about it in vertical videos and keep it alive as a dominant narrative in the zeitgeist. Do not back away. The modern media environment rewards repetition and omnipresence, so Hakeem Jeffries should promise an Epstein select committee, Chuck Schumer should make Republicans release the Epstein files in return for votes to fund the government, and every leftwing activist in the country should be burying Pam Bondi's justice department in a blizzard of Freedom of Information Act requests. In doing so, recognize that the response to the scandal is an encapsulation of a deeper truth that voters already feel. The president and the GOP protect the elite at the expense of ordinary Americans. Savvier Democrats get this. Some of the party's best communicators have already been grasping for a message along these lines, as seen in the focus on Elon Musk's 'department of government efficiency' (Doge) and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders's nationwide Fighting Oligarchy tour. But while those efforts have paid some political dividends, they have not come close to capturing the public imagination to the degree the Epstein files have. For at least some portion of the Maga movement, the past three weeks have finally managed to expose Trump for the hobnobbing, name-dropping, pompous ass that he's always been. Why is this one particular story so effective – especially as most voters have known Trump to be a plutocratic wannabe for decades? Maggie Haberman's hypothesis is noteworthy: New York high society operates in two concentric circles. The Big Apple has a glittering 'elite' with status at the center of a broader ring that wields power. Trump has always tried to straddle those rings, painting himself as the renegade billionaire. The Epstein affair shatters that mythos. It casts him not as a brash, bull-in-a-china-shop outsider but as the ultimate insider, rubbing shoulders with the very aristocracy his campaign rhetoric promised to upend. Democrats must lead with Epstein. Then they need to connect it to the president's myriad failures. Why did Trump cut taxes for the richest Americans while cutting Medicaid in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Why is Trump risking union jobs in auto manufacturing so he can have a trade spat with Mexico and Canada? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Why is Donald Trump talking about firing the head of the Fed? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Mallory McMorrow of Michigan, a Democratic Senate candidate, is already reading from this script. In recent weeks, she has demonstrated mastery in pairing Epstein with broader anti‑elite rhetoric. In one vertical video, she emphatically declared: This is exactly why there's eroding trust in our institutions, because until we confront the rot that exists in our institutions, until we hold everyone, everyone accountable under the same set of rules and laws, we will keep living in a country where there are two systems of justice, one for the rich and powerful, and one for everybody else. We deserve better. Release the files now. Trump's friendship with Epstein is a proof point for elite favoritism and all of us who oppose the orange god king must use it to condemn inequality and unaccountable power within the GOP ecosystem. The Epstein scandal has captured our attention not just because it's a lurid horror story, but because it confirms a truth people already believe: the rich view them as objects for exploitation. And if there's one thing Trump has successfully messaged to all Americans, it's that he's very, very rich. Epstein is the story. But he is also a stand-in for every closed maternity ward in a rural county, for every mom choosing between insulin and groceries and for every veteran battling the Department of Veterans Affairs while Silicon Valley billionaires buy senators. Democrats' message is simple enough, actually: 'Trump and the GOP protect the elite. They abandon you.' Think this messaging can be overdone? Look no further than Benghazi, a truly made-up scandal, which Republicans turned into a true political liability with Hillary Clinton's emails. That story stuck because of repetition and omnipresence, but also because it struck a chord with something Americans already believed: that the Clinton family viewed themselves as above accountability. Even Trump's own supporters are asking hard questions. Where are the files? Why is there a two-tiered system of justice? Why is Trump more interested in protecting his friends than releasing the truth? The Democratic response should be a noun, a verb and Jeffrey Epstein, and then the rot at the core of the American system. Deployed effectively, it can be as impactful and as memorable as Trump's cruel but devastating 2024 attack line: 'Kamala is for they / them, President Trump is for you.' Trump protects elites. That's why Trump is protecting Epstein's circle. But who's protecting you? Peter Rothpletz is a Guardian contributor

MIKEY SMITH: 11 unhinged Donald Trump moments as Epstein survivors accuse him of 'cover up'
MIKEY SMITH: 11 unhinged Donald Trump moments as Epstein survivors accuse him of 'cover up'

Daily Mirror

time37 minutes ago

  • Daily Mirror

MIKEY SMITH: 11 unhinged Donald Trump moments as Epstein survivors accuse him of 'cover up'

The survivors of America's most notorious dead paedophile are up in arms - accusing Trump of a "cover up" and giving paedophiles "preferential treatment" Donald Trump and the people around him seem to be signalling the direction the Epstein scandal is going to go - and it's towards a very dark place. ‌ The survivors of America's most notorious dead paedophile are up in arms - accusing Trump of a "cover up" and giving paedophiles "preferential treatment". ‌ It comes after the Mirror revealed Ghislaine Maxwell was being transferred to a much cushier prison. ‌ Meanwhile Trump didn't like the new, disappointing employment statistics, so he fired the person in charge of collecting them, mulled the idea of giving Diddy a pardon, was super creepy about a senior member of his team and paved over a historic part of the White House lawn - infuriating an important figure from his past. It's been quite a night, but here's everything you need to know. Buckle up. ‌ 1. Trump gets bad jobs figures, fires woman in charge of counting them You'll remember from yesterday's roundup that Trump was delivered some pretty rough jobs numbers for July - with May and June getting a hefty downgrade. Well, Trump last night did exactly what you'd expect him to do. He claimed they were "phony" and fired the person in charge of counting them. Claiming the figures had been manipulated for political reasons, he fired Erika McEntarfer, the director of the Bureau of Labour Statistics - a Biden appointee. He provided no evidence for his claim, which is presumably actionable. ‌ "I have directed my Team to fire this Biden Political Appointee, IMMEDIATELY," Trump said on Truth Social. "She will be replaced with someone much more competent and qualified." Trump later posted: "In my opinion, today's Jobs Numbers were RIGGED in order to make the Republicans, and ME, look bad." 2. The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears Asked why anyone should trust numbers in future in a gaggle outside the White House last night, Trump said: "You're right. Why should anyone trust numbers?" ‌ 3. Did Ghislaine Maxwell get her sex offender status waived? It was reported overnight that for Ghislaine Maxwell to get transferred to a minimum security camp in Texas, she'd have to have her sex offender status waived. Bureau of Prisons policy is that anyone with a sex offender determination known as a "public safety factor" are required to be housed in at least low-security prisons - like the one she was held in in Florida - unless they receive a special waiver. 4. Trump's favourite news channel is rolling the pitch for a Maxwell pardon Meanwhile, Newsmax - one of Trump's favourite news channels - has been making the case for Maxwell's innocence... ‌ Host Greg Kelly said on air last night: "There's something else going on here. "It's an injustice ... people are horrified when I say that this individual just might be innocent. "But think about it. Who told us about her? The most reviled institutions in America. The media and the Biden justice department." ‌ This all seems to be going in a horrifying direction... 5. Epstein survivors and families are angry "President Trump has sent a clear message today: Pedophiles deserve preferential treatment and their victims do not matter," the family of Virginia Giuffre and other Epstein accusers said in a statement, expressing "outrage" at Maxwell's move to a cushier prison. The statement added: "This move smacks of a cover up. The victims deserve better." ‌ 6. It's OK though, he's probably not going to pardon he was mean Asked in an exclusive interview for - wait for it - Newsmax last night whether he'd consider a pardon for Sean "Puff "Diddy" Daddy" Combs, Trump said: "Well he was essentially half innocent. I don't know, he's still in jail or something... " You know, I was very friendly with him. I get along with him great. Seemed like a nice guy. "I didn't know him well. But when I ran for office, he was very hostile...I don't know, it makes it more difficult to do." ‌ He said, as a result, it was "more likely a no." 7. What's on JD Vance's playlist? So let's take a break for a moment of levity - and laugh at JD Vance's Spotify playlist. An anonymous website named "the Panama Playlists" claims to have identified and scraped data from high profile figures in the Trump administration, revealing their favourite tunes. ‌ The VP's "Making Dinner" playlist includes I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys and and One Time by Justin Bieber. Another of his playlists includes What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has a playlist entitled "baby shower", which includes A Bar Song by Shaboozey. And Attorney General Pam Bondi's playlist includes Nelly's Hot in Herre and Foreigner's Cold As Ice. 8. Trump creepy about Leavitt And here's Donald Trump being creepy about Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt's lips. 9. Trump paved over the rose garden and Four Seasons Total Landscaping is not impressed A weird thing about Trump's return to the White House is the amount of building work he's doing to a property he legally has to move out of in three and a half years. ‌ And the first of these projects was to pave over the White House's world famous, historically significant Rose Garden. Well, Four Seasons Total Landscaping - where Rudy Giuliani held a deeply weird press conference by mistake the day Trump lost the 2020 election - is unimpressed. ‌ 10. Well, thats a metaphor The drainage holes on the new patio are in the shape of American flags. ‌ Get Donald Trump updates straight to your WhatsApp! As the world attempts to keep up with Trump's antics, the Mirror has launched its very own US Politics WhatsApp community where you'll get all the latest news from across the pond. We'll send you the latest breaking updates and exclusives all directly to your phone. Users must download or already have WhatsApp on their phones to join in. All you have to do to join is click on this link, select 'Join Chat' and you're in! We may also send you stories from other titles across the Reach group. We will also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. To leave our community click on the name at the top of your screen and choose Exit group. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice. 11. Trump's ballroom looks awfully familiar. Also, just awful The design proposals for the other big construction project Trump wants to undertake on the White House look awfully familiar. ‌ The huge ballroom he wants to tack on to the East Wing is designed to look remarkably similar to the main ballroom at Mar A Lago, Trump's club in South Beach, Florida. It's almost as if he's never planning to leave.

The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein
The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein

The Guardian

time39 minutes ago

  • The Guardian

The simple way Democrats should talk about Trump and Epstein

Democrats must not let Jeffrey Epstein die. They must highlight how this saga exposes the president for who he has always been. In the decade Teflon Don has spent on the national stage, no scandal has stuck to and haunted him quite so viscerally as the Epstein affair. He's never before appeared so flustered, forced to answer question after question about the women and girls whose lives were destroyed by his former 'best friend'. The world may never know what is inside the so-called 'Epstein files.' What is clear is that the contents are damaging enough for the president and his human flak jackets to call the whole affair a 'hoax', recess Congress to prevent a vote on releasing the materials and send the deputy attorney general to visit Tallahassee, Florida, to speak to the convicted child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, who was subsequently moved to a 'cushy', celebrity-riddled minimum security prison in Bryan, Texas. As the conservative pundit Bill Kristol noted over the weekend: '[Richard Nixon] said of Watergate, 'I gave them a sword. And they stuck it in, and they twisted it with relish.' Trump may have given us a sword. We should use it.' Kristol is right, to a point. Liberals, progressives and never-Trump Republicans must not let voters forget Trump's festering, open wound without neglecting the kitchen table, cost-of-living matters that hurt them last fall. In 2007, a far sharper and far more spry Joe Biden delivered a quip so clever and cutting that it ended another man's entire political career. Rudy Giuliani was never able to recover after Biden observed how it seemed 'there's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11'. The line was funny because it was true; it was lethal because it exposed the emptiness behind the former New York City mayor's tragedy-fueled candidacy. This is the challenge for Democrats: how do they maintain a spotlight on a scandal that reveals Trump for who he is in a way that finally resonates with his base without appearing to exploit a tragedy , à la Giuliani? They must ground the abstract conspiracy in everyday terms relatable to the average American. It goes like this: Trump protects elites. Say it in every stump speech, vent about it in vertical videos and keep it alive as a dominant narrative in the zeitgeist. Do not back away. The modern media environment rewards repetition and omnipresence, so Hakeem Jeffries should promise an Epstein select committee, Chuck Schumer should make Republicans release the Epstein files in return for votes to fund the government, and every leftwing activist in the country should be burying Pam Bondi's justice department in a blizzard of Freedom of Information Act requests. In doing so, recognize that the response to the scandal is an encapsulation of a deeper truth that voters already feel. The president and the GOP protect the elite at the expense of ordinary Americans. Savvier Democrats get this. Some of the party's best communicators have already been grasping for a message along these lines, as seen in the focus on Elon Musk's 'department of government efficiency' (Doge) and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders's nationwide Fighting Oligarchy tour. But while those efforts have paid some political dividends, they have not come close to capturing the public imagination to the degree the Epstein files have. For at least some portion of the Maga movement, the past three weeks have finally managed to expose Trump for the hobnobbing, name-dropping, pompous ass that he's always been. Why is this one particular story so effective – especially as most voters have known Trump to be a plutocratic wannabe for decades? Maggie Haberman's hypothesis is noteworthy: New York high society operates in two concentric circles. The Big Apple has a glittering 'elite' with status at the center of a broader ring that wields power. Trump has always tried to straddle those rings, painting himself as the renegade billionaire. The Epstein affair shatters that mythos. It casts him not as a brash, bull-in-a-china-shop outsider but as the ultimate insider, rubbing shoulders with the very aristocracy his campaign rhetoric promised to upend. Democrats must lead with Epstein. Then they need to connect it to the president's myriad failures. Why did Trump cut taxes for the richest Americans while cutting Medicaid in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Why is Trump risking union jobs in auto manufacturing so he can have a trade spat with Mexico and Canada? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Why is Donald Trump talking about firing the head of the Fed? For the same reason he is protecting Epstein and his buddies. Mallory McMorrow of Michigan, a Democratic Senate candidate, is already reading from this script. In recent weeks, she has demonstrated mastery in pairing Epstein with broader anti‑elite rhetoric. In one vertical video, she emphatically declared: This is exactly why there's eroding trust in our institutions, because until we confront the rot that exists in our institutions, until we hold everyone, everyone accountable under the same set of rules and laws, we will keep living in a country where there are two systems of justice, one for the rich and powerful, and one for everybody else. We deserve better. Release the files now. Trump's friendship with Epstein is a proof point for elite favoritism and all of us who oppose the orange god king must use it to condemn inequality and unaccountable power within the GOP ecosystem. The Epstein scandal has captured our attention not just because it's a lurid horror story, but because it confirms a truth people already believe: the rich view them as objects for exploitation. And if there's one thing Trump has successfully messaged to all Americans, it's that he's very, very rich. Epstein is the story. But he is also a stand-in for every closed maternity ward in a rural county, for every mom choosing between insulin and groceries and for every veteran battling the Department of Veterans Affairs while Silicon Valley billionaires buy senators. Democrats' message is simple enough, actually: 'Trump and the GOP protect the elite. They abandon you.' Think this messaging can be overdone? Look no further than Benghazi, a truly made-up scandal, which Republicans turned into a true political liability with Hillary Clinton's emails. That story stuck because of repetition and omnipresence, but also because it struck a chord with something Americans already believed: that the Clinton family viewed themselves as above accountability. Even Trump's own supporters are asking hard questions. Where are the files? Why is there a two-tiered system of justice? Why is Trump more interested in protecting his friends than releasing the truth? The Democratic response should be a noun, a verb and Jeffrey Epstein, and then the rot at the core of the American system. Deployed effectively, it can be as impactful and as memorable as Trump's cruel but devastating 2024 attack line: 'Kamala is for they / them, President Trump is for you.' Trump protects elites. That's why Trump is protecting Epstein's circle. But who's protecting you? Peter Rothpletz is a Guardian contributor

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