
A luxury river cruise through the vineyards of Champagne, with tickets from £63,000
Who knew big-bottomed barges could be sexy? Belmond, apparently. The LVMH group's seven-strong fleet journeys along some of France's 2,700 miles of canals and inland waterways, seducing guests with its slow travel ethos with disarming ease. Coquelicot, a 39-metre converted Dutch cargo barge is Les Bateaux Belmond's leading lady, and the only one that meanders through effervescent Champagne (others cruise Burgundy, Provence or Camargue).
There's a whimsical pleasure associated with canal cruising, typified by the kitschy Roses & Castles paintwork that identifies traditional narrowboats with just enough room for two at the tiller. Belmond's floating villa, however – all sage green accents and Brazilian hardwood decks – is rather a cut above, and I can think of no more luxurious way to carve out a gentle sojourn through the vineyards of France's Pinot Noir countryside.
I first glimpsed Coquelicot, my home for two nights, moored on the bank of the Canal latéral à la Marne, a 42-mile (67km) stretch of scenic waterway built to bypass the River Marne's tricky navigation upstream of Épernay. I'd made the mad dash that morning through London's St Pancras International to catch the Eurostar to Paris, before jumping aboard a fast train to Reims, which spat me out onto Champagne's doorstep like a popped cork.
Fortunately, that's where the frenetic pace ended, and soon I was strolling along a grassy towpath gulping deep lungfuls of glorious fresh air tinged with the buttery tang of rapeseed. Coquelicot's young crew – clad to a man in Saint James Breton tops and Palladium boots – welcomed me aboard (so far, so superyacht) with a glass of delicately bubbled Ruinart Brut, while the dulcet tones of Edith Piaf wafted from a discreetly placed pair of speakers onto a peachy afternoon breeze. The great slow down had officially begun.
Bounding from the galley (with all the Parisian panache of a chef whose restaurant has garnered three Michelin stars) came Dominique Crenn, whose partnership with Les Bateaux Belmond to create signature menus (one lunch, one dinner) that celebrate seasonal local ingredients brings a slice of Atelier Crenn's San Francisco farm-to-table ethos to Champagne.
'I told my team to close their eyes and imagine what we would want to eat on the boat,' she said, holding court on the top deck as we dived into a starter of spring pea tart topped with trout roe, mint and spoonfuls of milk velouté.
'You're going to be drinking a lot of wine and relaxing all day, so you need light, fresh food that brings happiness to the palate,' she added prophetically, as a steady stream of epicurean delights served on Marie Daâge crockery alighted the table.
Pretty platters of white and green wild asparagus served with caviar, saffron, and tartare of tomatoes (Chef Crenn's preferred ingredient in May) were swiftly followed by ladles of crab and mussel bouillabaisse, each layer washed down with a delicately paired vintage from the boat's bulging wine cellar (pre-stocked with guest requests) showcasing the finest of France's Grand Crus.
Novice oenophiles are also in good hands with Coquelicot's two consummate hosts, Marie-Jeanne and Thomas, whose selections included a citrusy Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru and a punchy Nuits-Saint-Georges 1er Cru from the 2020 vintage. Both were met with enthusiastic approval from the Parisian food writer who joined me on the trip. Her request for a crisp rosé later the next day – as we drifted past banks of cobalt blue irises – saw us quaffing glasses from retired-NBA star Tony Parker's Saint Laurent vineyard, who, along with Seth Rogan and Catherine Zeta-Jones, is – I'm told – a fan of Coquelicot's dreamy offering.
Eating and drinking is central to all of Belmond's river cruises (one in Burgundy takes in a whopping 12 Michelin stars), as evidenced by the culinary dishes served up by Coquelicot's equally talented Lithuanian onboard chef, Virgil Tiskus, whose pan-fried bass fillet with celeriac and vanilla puree was a notable highlight.
Week-long itineraries for up to six guests also include several off board meals; perhaps lunch at the glass-clad Royal Champagne Hotel & Spa's Michelin-starred Le Royal which holds the largest champagne collection in the region. Or, an immersive gastronomic five-course dinner at the historical headquarters of Coquelicot's partner Maison Ruinart, the oldest champagne house, whose history is brought to life on the plate through projected illustrations by Japanese-born Kanako Kuno.
Another appeal of luxury barge cruising is the ease with which we moored up on tree-lined canals, hopping onto Coquelicot's four bikes and setting off on jaunts across the vineyard-strewn countryside, chauffeured by the affable Sarah. She deposited us at the ancient subterranean crayères (chalk pits) of Veuve Clicquot where we learned how to release the cork with an 'angel's kiss'.
The next day, we strolled through Ruinart's sculpture garden housing works by environmental artists Mouawad Laurier and British artist David Shrigley (his miniature faces carved into the chalky cellars are a delight) before sampling the Maison's dangerously palatable Blanc Singulier Edition 19; a 100 per cent chardonnay cuvée and surprising silver lining to the evolving climate change the region is facing.
There's hot air ballooning for early risers, or Hautvillers Abbey, the final resting place of Dom Pérignon – not to mention the region's litany of wisteria-clad villages for picturesque walks, including the aptly named Bouzy and Dizy. The restless have use of Lipova natural wood gym equipment (some boats have heated panoramic pools), but I preferred to laze onboard as we wove our way past brightly shuttered gîtes, lulled by birdsong and the hypnotic rhythm of the mechanical locks, the last of which delivered us with a surge onto the wide-bodied River Marne.
In a region that can barely be disentangled from its namesake product, I was barely able to rouse myself from a dream-like revery. If this is how the upper crust do luxury slow travel, sign me up for the summer.
Essentials
Les Bateaux Belmond has seven-day sailings to Champagne aboard Coquelicot from €75,000 (£63,800), based on a private charter for up to six guests. This includes meals, beverages, daily breakfast, all excursions (including use of the onboard bicycles), a private guide, and return transfers from within France and Geneva. Departures on August 3, 10 and 17, 2025.

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