Rethinking screen time this summer: UAE experts urge parents to focus on connection over control

The National

6 hours ago

As schools in the UAE prepare to break up for the year, concerns around screen time are again front and centre for parents as they plan a long summer of entertainment for their children.
While much of the media rhetoric focuses on demonising devices, psychologists and educators are calling for a more balanced and informed approach that prioritises connection and the realities of modern childhood.
In a new UAE-wide survey by Gen X DXB, a long-running youth community brand, 70 per cent of parents reported that children aged nine to 14 spend most of their free time on screens. Nearly half said there are not enough age-appropriate spaces for this group. This is an age group that, as founder Lorna Bancroft put it, is 'too old for soft play but too young to hang out unsupervised'.
'There's a huge gap in the UAE for this age group,' said Ms Bancroft.
While many media reports and discussions around the subject focus on increased anxiety and loneliness among young people stemming from the overuse of digital devices, experts The National spoke to said banning screens outright is not the solution – and may do more harm than good.
Infrastructure and supervision
Victoria McKeown, a neurodiversity specialist who supports families and schools across the UAE, cautioned against fear-based narratives. 'One of my biggest things about it is a lot of what we see … is all about preying on parents and scaring parents and fear mongering,' she told The National. 'When the uncomfortable truth is the fact that the real issue is that parents just aren't educated enough on the matter or supervise their children in using screens.'
Ms McKeown emphasised that 'vilifying screens is really abdicating society of the whole responsibility'. Instead, screen time should be understood in the same way that society once treated public spaces where teenagers gathered, with some places being more risky than others, depending on the infrastructure and supervision.
'It's like a bad place in the town, right? Is it just because children go to that bad place that it's a problem? Or is it the core infrastructure in that area, the fact that that area isn't properly policed, the fact that it's the parents letting their children out until X hour at night and not knowing where they are?'
Regulating usage
Dr Clarice Mendonca-King, a clinical neuropsychologist at MapleTree Psychotherapy Centre in Dubai, agreed that the conversation is more complex than it is often portrayed. 'We live in a world where we cannot – and perhaps should not – focus on limiting screen time,' she said. 'We depend on it for work, for connection, for chores, for entertainment. Even if we don't use our devices, the culture around us is shaped by it … So I find it more reasonable and effective to 'regulate' our usage of media, manage it better.'
According to Dr Mendonca-King, what is needed is 'regulated screen time', which she described as involving 'a bit of discipline, reflection, and support … being able to first critically analyse your usage of screens and devices'. How much you as a parent depend on them, how it makes you feel, what it is replacing and what can replace it.
'Then determine how this aligns or contradicts with your goals and needs, and make a decision about how to best use the virtual world,' she added.
Connection over control
Children rely on screens to fulfil emotional needs, particularly those who are neurodivergent, added Ms McKeown, a former educator who now works full-time with many autistic and ADHD children and adults. 'The environment that children are going into during school is so, so overwhelming for them and not meeting their needs, that when they come home, their nervous system is in such chronic dysregulation that they just want to hide,' she said. 'They want to hide in their bedrooms. They want to interact minimally … they need something to distract them.'
Ms McKeown works with one teenager in Dubai who spends hours playing pilot simulator games, but his heavy usage does not concern her. 'His screen is up and whatever he was doing on the screen is [visible] while he's talking to me. He's not trying to hide anything. He doesn't keep playing with the keyboard when I'm talking to him. He gives me his full attention. The games he plays are all around flying and piloting … and that's actually something he's very personally interested in.'
In contrast, she described working with a child whose personality drastically changes when denied screen access. 'The parents have had to literally take devices out of the house and put them in other locations, like their workplaces, because if there's any device in the house, he will try and find it … That is an addiction.'
Ms McKeown is keen to emphasise the distinction between addiction and heavy screen usage. 'You can use screens quite heavily and still not be addicted to them,' she said. 'I think heavy use of screens is probably done because those children don't have alternatives that are attractive to them.'
Alternative entertainment in the UAE
That is where structured, real-world alternatives come in. Gen X DXB, for example, runs weekly events in Dubai designed specifically for that nine to 14 age group, with karaoke brunches, team games and other activities that offer connection without devices. According to Bancroft, 88 per cent of parents surveyed in their latest report would welcome more such events.
Still, any attempt to reduce screen time must be done collaboratively, said Ms McKeown. 'You can't just say to them, 'Don't use your screen. I want you to go and do something else.' You've actively got to do something else with them.'
Dr Mendonca-King said conflicts over screens also focus too much on the child's behaviour in a negative way. 'It's the easy, obvious target,' she said. Instead, she advised shifting focus on to underlying needs and emotions – both the child's and the parent's. 'What is your own relationship with screen time? What are your own struggles?' she said. 'Practice what you preach, and work on your own self, too. Let your kids be witness.'
Ultimately, the experts agreed the goal should be to build stronger relationships between parents and children. 'This isn't about being anti-tech,' Ms McKeown said. 'It's about being pro-connection.'