'Is this SG men these days?' — Woman says her BF never once initiated a date or treated her

Independent Singapore

7 days ago

SINGAPORE: A woman took to an online forum to share her frustration about her boyfriend, claiming that in their nine-month relationship, he has never once initiated a date or treated her — not even to a simple meal.
In a candid post on r/SGexams on Thursday (May 29), the woman prefaced her story by stating that she has no issue spending money on her partner and has always been generous in their relationship.
'Before I start and before y'all come at me, I want to share that I HAVE and am very willing to spend money on my BF,' she wrote.
However, she expressed concern that the effort is not mutual. 'In these nine months, he's never initiated to bring me out on a date once, never treated me to a meal, and never surprised me with any gifts (no matter how small).'
According to her, the only times he's ever bought her anything were under certain conditions: when she asked for it, when he felt pressured to return a gift, or when he sensed she was upset and offered her a fast food meal.
Despite this, she said she would happily spoil her boyfriend if he showed generosity first. On special occasions such as Christmas, Valentine's Day, and his birthday, she had spent over $100 each time.
She also mentioned that both of them come from middle-class families and are currently in their second year of university.
'Usually, he treats me decently. It's just this area that I'm a bit 😕 about,' she added.
Seeking opinions, she asked other Singaporeans, 'Is this considered stingy, or is this just the general state of men in SG these days?' 'Sometimes it's a mismatch of love languages.'
Many people in the comments section encouraged the woman to talk openly with her boyfriend about how she feels, instead of keeping it to herself or hoping he would pick up on hints.
'Have you asked him about this directly?' one individual wrote. 'Sometimes it's a mismatch of love languages. My BF also initially did not give gifts just for the sole reason of not knowing I liked receiving them, because he himself doesn't like it. He prefers quality time and acts of service. But me telling it to him made him aware, and now he does it.'
Others, meanwhile, suggested that the woman should try to understand her boyfriend's financial situation as well.
One said, 'As a boy, you should tell him your needs and talk to him about it to better understand his financial situation. However, it's also important that he doesn't feel like he's being used like an ATM. He's your boyfriend, not your ATM.
I feel a bit conflicted because I understand not wanting to spend a lot of money on a relationship because I'm also the quality time and physical touch kind, rather than a gift kind of person, but it does bother me how he never initiated any date ideas.'
Another shared, 'I'm a girl and don't expect my BF to be so willing to spend money on me, especially when we're both in uni and not earning.'
In other news, a Singaporean woman took to Reddit to ask if she should break up and move on from her boyfriend of two years, who continues to 'like and follow random girls' on Instagram despite knowing how much it hurts her.
According to her post on the r/SGexams subreddit, they've had multiple arguments about the issue. Each time she opens up about how his actions affect her self-esteem and make her feel insecure in the relationship, he dismisses her feelings and accuses her of being 'immature' or 'overreacting.'
'I am so tired of feeling so unhappy, so insecure, and always having to have my guard up when any pretty girl walks by. This is not how I should be feeling if I am in a healthy relationship, right?' she wrote.
Read more: 'Should I break up?' — Woman upset that her boyfriend keeps 'liking and following random girls on Instagram' because 'they're pretty'
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)