Dog Talk: What it's like to be a dog owner when your heart isn't really in it

The Star

29-04-2025

When we talk about pets, we showcase their sweetness, goofiness and loving character. The reality is that dogs are all that, but looking after them is also extremely hard work.
For some people, that daily neverending grind is too much.
Judy Ang, who hails from Kuala Lumpur and is now living in England, lifts the lid of what is it like to be a dog mum when your heart isn't really in it.
'I didn't grow up with pets, but my kids and husband wanted a dog,' Ang shares. 'I didn't know what to expect. Frankly, I was worried.'
Ang has four children, and at the time, they were young and living at home. However, as every parent knows, once kids grow up and move to university, it's the parents who have to take care of the dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits and other furries that are left behind.
While Ang worried, the majority voices won. 'They bought Lulu from a breeder. My husband said she was a Labradoodle, so she would be mild-tempered and loving.'
Labradoodles are a cross between a Labrador and a poodle. This dog is known for being friendly, playful and loyal but it is also known for having high energy.
And like the poodle, Labradoodles are clever and need constant entertainment.
Ang's furry pet in her best basket.
Primary caregiver
Lulu is now eight years old, and since Ang's children have grown up, she is now the dog's primary caregiver. 'Lulu needs two walks a day so she stays lean and fit,' Ang says. 'I would never choose to walk twice a day, so it's good for my health too. For one thing, it prevents back problems. But it is hard sometimes when it's cold or wet.'
Dogs do not grow up; for a pet lover, this is a positive feature. But for others, having a perpetual toddler animal around who is loving but also needy and messy, poses a huge daily commitment.
'Having a dog is like having a second shadow,' Ang sighs. 'I used to travel and go anywhere I liked but because of Lulu, I'm now limited. It's like having a live-in child for life who never grows up.'
When Ang goes to play mahjong on Wednesdays, she can't dawdle. She goes, plays and then must be home for Lulu. She calculates that she can be away from home about three hours at a time.
'She has her interactive teddy bear with treats, but I know she gets lonely,' Ang shares. 'When I went to Cambridge without her, she cried. It broke my heart.'
And this is where Lulu has lucked out.
While some people would shove the dog in the garden or kitchen and ignore her, Ang treats the furry like family, taking good care of her not just in terms of exercise and food, but giving her the best life a dog could want.
The Labradoodle has huge, expressive eyes.
Lulu goes everywhere
Ang takes Lulu everywhere. Lulu visits beaches and has countryside walks all over the country. She even goes camping!
'Our best holiday was travelling to the north coast of Britain, a 500-mile (804km) route,' Ang shares. 'Lulu loved it. We went for beach walks, visited fields, parks and all kinds of villages and towns. Lulu had a wonderful time because we also went camping when the weather was good.'
The two spend almost all their time together, but even now, Ang isn't totally confident of her dog caretaking skills.
'If she's under the weather, I can't tell how bad it is, so I have to sleep with her when she's unwell and that is worrying,' Ang shares. 'Kids can talk so you know what is hurting or what's wrong, but with dogs, you don't know. Lulu looks pitiful too, she's very expressive, so it really tugs at my heart when she's not well.'
Lulu having a blast at the beach. — Photos: JUDY ANG
So, aside from the excellent care, how does Ang really feel about Lulu?
'I do love her. She is part of the family,' Ang says.
'Now that I have her, I want to give her the best life possible. But if I could do it again, I would not have a dog. It's like the ad, 'a dog is not just for Christmas.''
'Think 10 times before you get a dog! Having a dog means you give up freedom as the dog comes first. You have to think about its daily walks, and what it needs all the time. Also, vet bills are expensive! Aside from emergencies, there are monthly flea and heartworm treatments. Dogs are very expensive.'
Lulu lives with a wonderful, kind mum and has amazing adventures. There is no doubt she loves her life.
But it's pure luck she landed where kindness lives – and not every dog gets that chance.