Dear tourists: Come to America! You might win a free trip to El Salvador!
Dear tourists: Come to America! You might win a free trip to El Salvador! | Opinion We here at the U.S. National Travel and Tourism Office are proud to announce our new slogan: 'Come to America! There's only a small chance you'll be detained indefinitely!'
Show Caption
Hide Caption
What to know about the Alien Enemies Act of 1798
President Trump wants to invoke the Alien Enemies Act of 1798. Here's what you need to know about the wartime law.
Greetings, international tourists. I'm here to persuade you to ignore the fake news media and spend your vacation time this year in MAGAmerica, formally known as 'America.'
Under the stunning leadership of President/King Donald Trump and his billionaire regional manager Elon Musk, the United States has been transformed from a violent and deteriorating third world nation to the greatest place on earth. (Please note: 'greatest place on earth' does not apply to people who say bad things about Teslas.)
In honor of the return of American exceptionalism, we here at the U.S. National Travel and Tourism Office are proud to announce our new slogan: 'Come to America! There's only a small chance you'll be detained indefinitely!'
Are fewer foreign travelers coming to the US? Only if you believe 'data.'
We have, of course, seen the reports that fewer Canadians are traveling to America, despite President Trump's gentle trade war and generous offer/threat to annex their country. U.S. data showed a nearly 13% drop in Canadians crossing into our country in February compared with last year, but the Trump administration is working to swiftly eliminate Marxist 'data' like that, so we're not concerned.
And yes, we saw research firm Tourism Economics' recent estimate that international 'inbound travel to the US is projected to decline by 15.2% compared to baseline projections,' which will result in 'a $22 billion annual loss' in inbound travel spending.
Opinion: With Dow dropping unpatriotically, Trump should threaten tariffs on stocks
But again, those are 'words' and 'numbers,' and President Trump has made it abundantly clear those are illegal unless he likes them.
Consider all MAGAmerica has to offer foreign travelers
So forget that silly nonsense and think about what MAGAmerica has to offer you, the fabulous foreign traveler.
For starters, there are our beautiful national parks, which will be less crowded this year thanks to Mr. Musk firing about 1,000 U.S. National Park Service employees. No more bothersome 'park rangers' telling you woke stuff like 'please stay on the path so you don't destroy delicate ecosystems' and 'please don't pee in Old Faithful.'
President Trump welcomes you to bring your own four-wheeler, do some off-roading in Grand Teton National Park and even drill for oil if you want to. (Please note: If you find oil, it belongs to President Trump or one of his sons.)
But it's not just the natural parks or the numerous Trump-owned properties you will be required to stay at. International visitors coming to America this year could win … a free trip to El Salvador!
Opinion: Trump talks tough on antisemitism while Musk reposts vile Hitler excuse
President Trump is generously sending a select few on a trip to El Salvador!
Depending on your accent and the color of your skin, agents from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement could deem you a foreign gang member and then use the Alien Enemies Act to ship you off for a free stay at an El Salvadoran fitness facility, something the liberals lamely call 'a labor camp.'
Just this weekend, the Trump administration grabbed more than 200 lucky 'suspected" gang members and, without evidence and in violation of a court order, shipped them off to sunny El Salvador. You and your family could be next!
While only a select number of lucky visitors will receive what we're calling 'the El Salvador package,' every foreign tourist will get to experience America's new-and-improved First Amendment, which gives all people the right to speak freely, as long as they aren't critical of President Trump and don't engage in the kind of protected free speech that makes Mr. Musk angry or sad.
Is it possible you could be 'arrested and interrogated' if you violate the new First Amendment? Sure. But there's little chance of that happening as long as you keep your foreign opinions to yourself and just enjoy the inordinate number of national park bears eating out of overflowing trash cans.
Don't forget to honor our great President Trump by purchasing merch!
And don't forget, no visit to MAGAmerica would be complete without paying tribute to … sorry … we mean 'picking up some souvenirs' from one of the official Trump merchandise stores that will soon be located at every airport and border crossing and rest stop and gas station.
So don't delay. Make America your vacation destination in 2025. The chances of indefinite detention are totally slim!
(Also, please bring your own eggs. We don't have those anymore.)
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Newsweek
23 minutes ago
- Newsweek
North Korea Responds to US Entry Ban
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. North Korea has issued a statement criticizing the travel restrictions implemented Monday by U.S. President Donald Trump—measures that did not extend to the East Asian country. This exception could be intended as a "carrot" to encourage renewed dialogue with the United States; this is according to a commentary carried by state media that stressed North Koreans are "not interested" in entering the country. Newsweek reached out to the North Korean Embassy in China and White House with emailed requests for comment. Why It Matters The Kim regime maintains strict controls on its citizens' movements and contact with the outside world, including consumption of foreign media. With few exceptions, North Koreans are barred from leaving the country, with violators subject to harsh punishments including death, rights groups say. What To Know The restrictions, which banned nationals from 12 countries and placed partial limits on citizens from seven others citing national security concerns, did not include North Korea—a country the State Department designated a "state sponsor of terror" during Trump's first term. Kim Myong Chol, an international affairs analyst and unofficial spokesperson for the regime, criticized the U.S. travel measures in a commentary released Tuesday by the state-run Korean Central News Agency. He described the measures as a "political tool" aimed at discriminating against and pressuring other nations. That North Korea was excluded from the list "may reflect the U.S. administration's carrot stand toward the DPRK [Democratic People's Republic of Korea] to open the door to the resumption of dialogue between the two countries," Kim said, using North Korea's official name. File photo: Two boys walk in the street of Pothonggang district, Pyongyang, North Korea Friday, June 6, 2025. File photo: Two boys walk in the street of Pothonggang district, Pyongyang, North Korea Friday, June 6, 2025. Cha Song Ho/Associated Press Even so, North Koreans are "not interested" and have "no reason to be glad," Kim added, describing the U.S. as "the most hostile country" to North Korea and a place where racial discrimination, xenophobia, and "all sorts of social evils flood" society. "If the present U.S. administration thinks that the DPRK will accept the allowing of entry into the U.S. as a 'gift' which it neither seeks nor desires, it is a miscalculation," he said. In a proclamation Monday, Trump said the restrictions were necessary to protect national security and reduce visa overstays; he added that these increase the burden on law enforcement and immigration. Democrats and immigrant rights groups have criticized the move as discriminatory. What People Are Saying Donald Trump, U.S. president, said in the proclamation he signed Wednesday: "As President, I must act to protect the national security and national interest of the United States and its people. I remain committed to engaging with those countries willing to cooperate to improve information-sharing and identity-management procedures, and to address both terrorism-related and public-safety risks." Amnesty International said in a statement last week ahead of the travel restrictions: "By targeting people based on their race, religion, or nationality, from countries with predominantly Black, Brown and Muslim-majority populations, this blanket ban constitutes racial discrimination under international human rights law. It also spreads hate and disinformation, reinforcing the misleading idea that certain populations are more likely to pose security risks or engage in acts of violence." What Happens Next Members of Trump's team have discussed resuming talks with Kim, according to earlier reports citing people familiar with the matter. However, an in-person summit remains unlikely before a ceasefire is reached in Russia's invasion of Ukraine, now in its fourth year. Trump held two summits with Kim during his first term aimed at persuading the North Korean leader to scale back his nuclear weapons program, but ultimately failed to achieve a breakthrough.
Yahoo
43 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Summer fun at no cost: Eight free things to do in Montgomery
Does the idea of a fun day out and about sound great, right up until it hits your wallet? Worry not. The Montgomery Advertiser is offering eight free or cheap fun things for adults to do in the Montgomery area this summer. Where: 1 Museum Drive Hours: Open Tuesday-Sunday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Info: The Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts, located in Blount Cultural Park, is absolutely free to get in and view a variety of masterpieces — though they'll gladly accept a donation. The museum's permanent collection includes 19th- and 20th-century American paintings and sculptures, Southern regional art, Old Master prints and decorative arts. The museum offers tours, has a cafe, and frequently hosts live performances. Summer months ahead include several workshops and camps. Online: Contact: 334-625-4333 More: Summer festivals & fun in Montgomery that you've got to experience While you're at MMFA, there's a gorgeous spot to enjoy a picnic lunch outdoor in the John and Joyce Caddell Sculpture Garden. Blount Cultural Park, including the area around nearby Alabama Shakespeare Festival, is also bursting with scenic picnic opportunities. There are many more beautiful locations across the city as well where it's free to set up and enjoy a meal. You can see a big list of park areas online at Montgomery is just packed with outdoor art displays, many of which reflect the people and history of the city. One must-see is the Civil Rights Memorial, a granite fountain with the names of people who were killed during the Civil Rights Movement. It's in downtown Montgomery at 400 Washington Ave. There are at least 24 murals to be seen downtown, midtown, and on the west side. A map to them is available at There are statues across the city, including life size versions of Hank Williams, Rosa Parks, and many more. If nature's your thing, Montgomery has. lot to offer on walking trails. There are at least 22 trails available to walkers in Montgomery's public parks. You can find them online at Another amazing venue for this is Montgomery Whitewater. It's free to visit, and has multi-use trails set up for walking, running, and mountain biking. On the not-free side, if you want, you can book whitewater rafting adventures there or take to the trees in the ropes and zipline course. See more online at More: Summer pool hours: Splash pads and swimming spots in the Montgomery area Country legend Hank Williams was a young man on Montgomery's streets. He died at age 29 on New Year's Day 1953 in the back seat of his 1952 Cadillac while headed from Tennessee to a scheduled concert in Canton, Ohio. His all-too-short life created a legacy of country western music. The city will celebrate what would have been Hank's 102nd birthday this summer with a music celebration on Sept. 13, 3 p.m. at the Davis Theatre, 251 Montgomery St. Tickets are on sale through the Hank Williams Museum — $35 for general admission, and $45 for VIP. Hank Williams Museum, 118 Commerce St.: This museum is dedicated to all things Hank, and along with a lot of memorabilia and imagery, it even has his blue Cadillac. You do have to get tickets to get in here: $15 for ages 18 and up, $5 for ages 15-17, $3 for ages 5-14, and ages 4 and younger are free. But Montgomery is full of places you can visit to see where and how Hank lived — and most are free to go look at. How many places can you visit in a day? Hank Williams statue, 216 Commerce St.: The 6-foot-2 bronze statue of Hank Williams stands at the intersection with Tallapoosa Street in front of the tunnel to Riverfront Park. Empire Theater, 234 Montgomery St.: This is where a young Hank won a singing contest in 1937. The Empire is gone, and the Rosa Park Library and Museum sits where the theater once stood. Jefferson Davis Hotel, WSFA radio, 344 Montgomery St.: When Hank was just a "singing kid" of around 13, he landed a gig singing live on WSFA radio (With the South's Finest Airport). It's a job he and his Drifting Cowboys would have there for several years, Sidney Lanier High School, 1756 S. Court St.: This school, which closed down in 2024, is where 16-year-old Hank dropped out of school in October 1939 after a brief enrollment, opting to focus on his blossoming music career with the Drifting Cowboys. Chris' Hot Dogs, 138 Dexter Ave.: This famous downtown hotdog and burger restaurant — which opened in 1917 and still operates today — is where Williams was known to frequent on late nights after gigs to sober up in a back booth. Elite Café, 121 Montgomery St.: This is where Hank sang publicly for the last time on Dec. 28, 1952, while attending an American Federation of Musicians holiday party. Municipal auditorium, 103 N. Perry St.: Where the City Council meets now is where thousands paid their final respects Sunday, Jan. 4, 1953, to Hank. They were inside and outside what was then called Municipal Auditorium. Hank Williams Memorial & Gravesite, 1304 Upper Wetumpka Road in Oakwood Cemetery Annex: Hank's gravesite is a must-see for visiting Hank Fans. It's also the gravesite of Hank's first wife, Audrey − the mother of Hank Williams Jr. Take a tour of the State Capitol at 600 Dexter Ave. It's a working museum of state history and politics, with offices for the governor and executive branch officers. Areas open to the public include the House of Representatives, Senate Chamber, Old Supreme Court Chamber and Library, and the Rotunda. When: Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Cost: Free Just across Adams Avenue at the Department of Archives and History you can dig into the state's past at the Museum of Alabama. When: The museum is open Monday-Saturday, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Cost: Admission for self-guided tours is free. There's music playing nightly at spots across Montgomery. One of the most active places is The Exchange at the Renaissance Montgomery Hotel and Spa, 201 Tallapoosa St. They have music going 7 days a week, and most nights feature two music acts on their outdoor stage. There are many bars, restaurants and other venues that host live music — though some may have a door charge. You can find them at Another amazing source for live music that's absolutely free is Montgomery Whitewater, 1100 Maxwell Boulevard, which frequently hosts live music concerts. See what music is ahead this summer online at One of the jewels of Montgomery is the stretch of the Alabama River at Riverfront Park, 355 Commerce St. The area includes Riverwalk Amphitheater, and hosts concerts and other events throughout the year. It's also home to the Harriott II Riverboat. It's a great place to visit toward the evening to watch a stunning sunset reflected on the water. Montgomery Advertiser reporter Shannon Heupel covers things to do in the River Region. Contact him at sheupel@ This article originally appeared on Montgomery Advertiser: See our picks for eight free things to do in Montgomery this summer
Miami Herald
2 hours ago
- Miami Herald
‘Everything is uncertain now': Venezuelan travelers blindsided by travel ban
For Venezuelan travelers the past few days have been filled with uncertainty, fear and confusion — not to mention the financial toll. Since the Trump administration issued a travel ban barring nationals from 12 countries including Venezuela, Venezuelans both in and outside the U.S. have scrambled to reschedule flights — some moved them earlier, others delaying plans. Some wanted to arrive before the ban kicked in on Monday. Others wanted to waitto travel out of fear that Customs and Border Protections would be revoking visas. And for families that were hoping for reunification pending an upcoming appointment to get a visa, plans have been canceled. Among those who changed plans to beat the travel ban was José Malave and his family. READ MORE: What you need to know about Trump's travel ban on Cuba, Haiti and Venezuela Malave had booked a flight with his wife, Estefanía Ramírez, their 10-month-old baby, and his mother-in-law from Mexico City, where they currently reside, to New York City. The trip was meant to reunite his wife with her brothers, whom she hadn't seen in over a decade. The family had scheduled the trip six months in advance for June 12 — just three days after the travel ban was set to take effect. But on June 4, when the White House proclamation was made public, their plans were thrown into chaos. 'We moved our flight to June 8, a day before the travel ban took effect, terrified that once it started we wouldn't be allowed into the U.S.,' Malave said. 'We were scared and distressed, but luckily, we were able to enter without any issues at customs, though the financial impact has been huge.' The family had to spend an extra $800 to change the flights. Malave, 33, and Ramírez, 32, both computer programmers, are naturalized Mexican citizens. However, they travel using their U.S. tourist visas, which are stamped in their Venezuelan passports. Their 10-month-old son is a born Mexican citizen with a U.S. visa in his Mexican passport, while Ramírez's mother holds only Venezuelan citizenship. Malave expressed deep frustration with the abruptness of the travel ban — and he takes great offense to the implications it makes about Venezuelans. Trump's proclamation states that the measure is a way to protect the United States from terrorism and crime, and that the designated countries lack screening and vetting information for travelers. 'This proclamation affects everyone, no matter their background. It should've taken effect with more notice,' he said. 'People are interpreting it differently, and Venezuelans are caught in the middle.' He feels heartbroken, unsure of how to plan for the future. 'Everything is uncertain now. We had planned to spend Christmas in New York, maybe take our son to Disney — but those dreams are shattered. We don't even know if we'll be able to travel again on our Venezuelan passports.' 'We don't know when, or if, we'll see our family again. This is the reality Venezuelans face, even outside of Venezuela.' While Malave's family was able to reschedule their flights and reunite with their relatives, many others may never get the chance to reunite with their loved ones in the U.S. Karla Flores is a Venezuelan who has has lived in Woodbridge, Va., for the past three years. She planned to take her mother, Mercedes, from Venezuela to Spain in order to apply for a U.S. tourist visa, where the application process is faster than in Colombia. Since the Nicolás Maduro regime severed diplomatic relations with the United States in 2019 after President Trump, during his first term, recognized opposition leader Juan Guaidó as Venezuela's interim president, the U.S. consular office for Venezuelan visa applications now operates out of Bogotá, Colombia. But it has a year-long backlog. Flores said her mother is living alone and struggling with health issues. Flores left Venezuela eight years ago—that was the last time she saw her mother, who is 75. Now the hope for a reunion seems lost. 'We have uncertainty and profound sadness,' Flores said. 'We don't understand why we have to go through this.' Fear of having visas revoked The U.S. State Department clarified on Sunday that the travel ban does not apply to individuals holding valid visas issued before June 9. However, for many Venezuelans with current tourist, business, or student visas, and flights scheduled just days away, the clarification came too late to ease their fears. Confusion and anxiety had already set in, with travelers uncertain about whether they would be denied entry at the border — or worse, have their visas revoked. Venezuelans living in Maracaibo, in the western state of Zulia—about 700 kilometers from Caracas—often travel overland for more than three hours to reach Colombian border cities before flying from Bogotá to U.S. destinations like Miami. There have been no direct flights between Venezuela and the United States since 2019, when the Trump administration suspended air service. As a result, what was once a three-hour flight from Caracas to Miami has become a costly and time-consuming journey, often taking longer than a flight to Europe. On Monday, Venezuelan passengers at Bogotá's airport reported unusually slow and thorough security screenings. Aleika Áñez, co-owner of Kunana Travel, a Venezuelan travel agency with 34 years of experience said her clients reported that there were delays leaving Colombian airports. 'A customer who traveled on Monday said the check-in process was more rigorous at the airline counter because they held Venezuelan passports,' she said but despite the uncertainty, many Venezuelans flying from Colombia to Miami have been able to enter the U.S. 'without incident.' Many are waiting to see how Venezuelans are treated at immigration checkpoints this week, she said. Entry to the U.S. ultimately depends on the discretion of customs officers. Eduardo, a 36-year-old Venezuelan living in Mexico since 2015, has postponed his July trip to Los Angeles. Fearing it could jeopardize his chances of entering the U.S., he asked the Herald to withhold his full name. Eduardo had hoped to reunite with his brother, whom he hasn't seen in years since both fled Venezuela, but now worries that traveling on his Venezuelan passport is too risky. 'I suspended my trip because of all the uncertainty surrounding this situation,' he said. Another Venezuelan, Carlos, a 40-year-old lawyer who has a tourism and business visa, decided to postpone his flight from Maracaibo to Atlanta after hearing the news. 'It cost $1,900, and I wasn't willing to risk both my money and my visa,' he told the Herald. Carlos, who requested to not use his full name as well, plans to consult his travel agency later this week and buy his ticket if the situation stabilizes. 'If everything calms down, I'll go ahead and purchase it,' he said.
