I fell asleep holding my wife, I woke to our baby crying & an awful discovery in the basement, I'll never recover

The Sun

04-05-2025

WATCHING his daughter playing with her cousins, Steven D'Achille feels a mix of both pride and sadness.
Seeing Adriana, now 11, thrive is nothing but a joy but Steven only wishes her mum was there to see it.
8
8
8
It was just six weeks after her birth that his wife Alexis took her own life after battling with severe postnatal depression.
Alexis went to seek help but Steven feels that not enough was done and he is determined to spread awareness to stop other families suffering like his.
'We tried to seek help, but no-one would take her seriously,' claims Steven, 42 from Pennsylvania.
'We went to seven different hospitals and crisis centres in her last two weeks, but no one seemed to believe her when she told them how bad she was.'
The couple got married in October 2009, a couple of years after meeting at a mutual friend's birthday party.
'I noticed her as she first walked through the door. She had on jean shorts and stripy pink sandals,' remembers Steven.
'The music was playing the song 'Music Makes me Lose Control' and in that second, I couldn't have agreed more.
'Our eyes locked, and I felt my stomach turn over.
'I think I fell in love with Alexis the moment I laid eyes on her. We sat on the balcony together and talked into the early hours until the sun came up.
'From then on we became a couple. We were so close and talked about everything.
Meghan Markle opens up about 'scary' health battle as her first podcast episode drops
'I knew that she wanted more than anything to be a mum one day. We both came from big families, and we wanted that for ourselves too.'
A few years later, Alexis discovered she was pregnant and the couple were thrilled.
'I'm a triplet, and my triplet sister was pregnant at the same time as Alexis, so they were excited together,' said Steven.
'It was a year full of celebration in our family.'
But Steven says that all changed the day Adriana was born.
'Being young and fit and healthy, Alexis wasn't a priority for the midwives on the ward as there was a high risk pregnancy and a mum delivering multiples,' Steven explains.
'So when Alexis said to the doctor that she felt like she needed to push, the doctor told us just to sit it out and not to push for another few hours.
'But just 12 minutes later, Adriana came into the world, and she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.
8
8
8
WAYS TO GET HELP
You can call NHS 111 at any time. Lines are open 24 hours a day.
The Samaritans (116 123) is also available 24/7.
Contact Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight every day.
The Papyrus hopeline (0800 068 4141), aimed at preventing young suicide, is open 24/7.
Childline, for those under the age of 19, is open online or on the phone [phone]) at all times.
You can call SOS Silence of Suicide (0808 115 1505) from 8pm to midnight Monday to Friday, and 4pm to midnight on weekends).
If you don't want to speak to someone on the phone, you can text ' SHOUT ' to 85258 for support over text.
'She wasn't breathing. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to come and help.
'Medical staff did rush to her side, including the doctor who had told her not to push, and thankfully they did manage to get Adriana breathing again.
'But I looked into Alexis's eyes - they looked glassed over, as if a light had gone out. And she was never the same after that.
'She was in shock after what had just happened, and she just kept saying to me that she had harmed our daughter within seconds of her coming into the world.
'I kept telling her that it wasn't her fault, but she could never accept that she hadn't done anything wrong.'
As the couple took their daughter home, Alexis' mental health continued to deteriorate.
'She was paranoid that something was wrong with our baby,' Steven says.
'She knew that her anxiety wasn't normal, and she wanted to seek help.
'We went to see a counsellor who diagnosed her with PSTD from the traumatic delivery, but she gave her counting exercises to help with her anxiety and told her to have hot showers.
'Nothing like that worked, and it got worse. She wasn't sleeping and she was losing weight and kept telling me she was hearing voices.
'She told them that she wasn't bonding with the baby. Eventually she was prescribed anti depressants.
'I told the doctors that I feared she would take her own life - one doctor even told me she wouldn't, as she was Catholic.'
When Adriana was only six weeks old the couple went to bed.
'That night I held her close and asked her to promise she wouldn't do anything,' Steven says.
What is postnatal depression?
Postnatal depression is a type of depression that affects parents after they have a baby.
The major depression is triggered by childbirth but is much more severe than just the "baby blues".
It can also occur following a miscarriage or stillbirth of a baby.
Many women can feel emotional and anxious after the birth of their child, commonly referred to as the 'baby blues', this will only last for a few weeks after giving birth.
If these symptoms start to last longer the NHS advises that you could be suffering with postnatal depression.
The symptoms include but are not limited to: a persistent feeling of sadness, lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the outside world, as well as your baby, and a lack of energy.
These signs can build up gradually so a lot of people don't immediately identify that they have postnatal depression.
A number of celebrity mums have opened up about suffering from postnatal depression following giving birth.
Singer Adele has said that after the birth of her son Angelo she felt 'inadequate' and embarrassed to talk about how she was feeling.
John Legend's wife and model Chrissy Teigen revealed she was diagnosed with postnatal depression in December after going into a downward spiral following the birth of her daughter Luna.
Gwyneth Paltrow explained she was dogged by postnatal depression after son Moses was born in 2006.
Loose Woman Stacey Solomon said she suffered from depression after the birth of her first son Zachary when she was just 18 years old.
While her co-host Andrea McLean has also talked about the condition on the programme.
Another famous face to talk about her experience is WAG Rebekah Vardy after she gave birth to son Finley with footballer husband Jamie Vardy.
Kate Middleton visited Maurice Wohl Clinical Neuroscience Institute at King's College London to discuss postpartum depression with experts.
After speaking to scientists, the Duchess reflected on the day; although she has never explicitly claimed to have suffered with it, she said: "There's an expectation you're going to be super happy all the time, and one in four of us aren't."
Melanie Hughes, former Miss Wales and Corrie actress tragically passed away in October 2017 due to her heavy drinking, linked to her post natal depression.
'She said 'I love you Pops,' which was her nickname for me.'
When Steven woke up the next morning, he could hear Adriana crying in the kitchen.
'Alexis wasn't beside me,' says Steven.
'I got up and went to the kitchen but she wasn't there. I ran through the house, calling her name, getting more anxious by the second.
'She wasn't anywhere in the house, so I ran down into the basement where the car was kept.
'She had taken her own life. She was only 33. I had lost my wife, and Adriana had lost her mum.'
Numb with grief, Steven had to try to carry on being a dad to Adriana.
'I have watched her grow into a beautiful young girl,' Steven says.
'She is now 11, and she is my world.'
Steven is now dedicated to raising awareness of mental health amongst pregnant women and mothers.
'I set up the Alexis Joy Foundation to try and spread awareness,' he says.
'There should be much more support around mental health for mothers and pregnant women and Im making it my life's mission to make that happen.
'I'm determined to make Alexis's memory live on, and thats the legacy she has left behind - if I can save one life from doing this, then it will have been worth it.'
Steven is committed to keeping Alexis' memory alive with his daughter.
'I talk to Adriana about her beautiful mum all the time,' he says.
'We have such a special bond, and our family are so close too.
'My triplet sister lives in the same street, so Adriana has all her cousins to play with. She loves dancing and makeup and I know Alexis would be so proud of her.
'PPD can happen to anyone and it's no one's fault. And it takes extreme courage to admit it's a hard time, especially when there is a baby involved.
'We can't go back from what happened to Alexis, but I can help change what happens next. After losing Alexis, I now want to save lives.'
If you are in the US please contact the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline by calling or texting 1-833-9-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).
8
8