‘I had to sprint home from a first date': the truth about romance during hay fever season
It's 3pm on a warm early summer's day. You're in the park, a picnic basket beside you, watching your date tuck into an ice-cream. Birds are singing, children are chuckling playfully nearby. Things are going well: your date's handsome, kind and the conversation is good. But something's wrong. It starts as a tickle in the back of the throat. Then your eyes start itching and soon your nose is streaming. Suddenly, you're sneezing uncontrollably and, hang on, are you … crying? The date you're with looks at you sympathetically – poor thing – and you quietly wish for the ground to swallow you up.
It's not an uncommon scenario. In the UK, it's estimated that about 10 million people suffer from hay fever. Whenever we hit a patch of extended sunny weather, it's often caveated with warnings of impending so-called 'pollen bombs', when lots of plants release more pollen than usual all at the same time. While the warmer climes are welcome (and perfect date weather), this also means that if you're a hay fever sufferer, life is about to get complicated.
But what's actually happening when you're struck by an attack? 'Your immune system produces an allergic antibody that is specific to the things you are allergic to – in this case, pollen,' says Prof Adam Fox, one of the UK's leading specialists in allergies. 'It circulates in your blood and attaches to cells called 'mast cells' in the lining of the nose, mouth and eyes. When you breathe in pollen, it's recognised by these antibodies and it sticks to them – the mast cell then releases granules of histamine stored inside it.'
This is, of course, usually expelled as a sneeze – something which has, amusingly, been regarded suspiciously throughout history (in the middle ages people thought a sudden sneeze was a warning that you were close to evil, while in Japan and China it's thought that if you sneeze randomly, it means someone is talking about you).
'I have a very full-on sneeze,' says Hannah Lyons, 30. 'It's loud and often goes on and on – I'll have 10 sneezes in a row, particularly if hay fever is the cause. I often find myself apologising after a sneezing fit. It's embarrassing! I've had hay fever for the last five years or so – it came on suddenly one summer and I was shocked by just how debilitating it can be. I have to wear sunglasses outside in the spring and summer now or my eyes get unbearably itchy.'
Hay fever-proofing doesn't just extend to eyewear for Hannah, who is single, but her dating life, too. 'I once had a sneezing fit so bad on a date that I had to go home,' she says.
'It might sound trivial but it does properly impact my life when it's bad. The guy I was with at the time of the fit had never had hay fever, so he just looked at me like I was mad, while I couldn't stop sneezing. I eventually – between sneezes – told him I needed to go home to get inside and ran off. We didn't see each other again.'
If you're a hardcore hay fever sufferer, then precautions, particularly when it comes to dating and meeting new people, are standard. 'It's tricky,' says Katie*, 32. 'I'm in an open relationship and last summer was my first time properly dating in that way. I was due to meet up with a date and because I suffer so badly with hay fever, and have done since I was a kid, I warned her beforehand. I wrote her a proper message to say that my eyes might end up bloodshot and teary at some point – we were grabbing coffee and going for a walk in a park, so I think she was quite baffled. As expected, I did end up with weepy eyes. We went on a few more dates before we decided to stay just friends and it ended up becoming a running joke that I was always 'crying'.'
This year, Katie has beefed up her hay fever precautions. 'I have an air filter in my bedroom and I'll be keeping all the windows shut and running the fan throughout the summer. If I can manage my hay fever in my flat, I feel I'm better equipped to manage it outside too. When the pollen count is high, I tend to use a nasal spray each day, regardless of whether I'm feeling symptoms or not**. If you're dating outside – which I plan to this summer – it really is something you have to think about.'
Similarly, Hannah is taking action to try to alleviate any symptoms and has recently started using a spray. 'I use Beconase specifically – it can work even better if you start using it before the pollen count is super high**. I often think if I'd had a nasal spray I might not have had to sprint away from that first date.
'With a brand new summer, one hopefully filled with dates, not having to worry as much about hay fever symptoms feels joyful. And isn't that how dating is supposed to feel?'
* not her real name
Buy Beconase now on Amazon
Beconase Hayfever Relief for Adults 0.05% Nasal Spray contains beclometasone dipropionate. For the treatment of hayfever in adults aged 18 and over. Always read the leaflet. ** Beconase Hayfever contains beclometasone dipropionate. For the prevention and treatment of allergic rhinitis, including hayfever, in adults aged 18 and over. Always read the leaflet. Disclaimer: Prof Adam Fox does not endorse Beconase
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