How to Kill Your Ego and Become a Calm Master Like Bruce Lee

Yahoo

21-02-2025

Thomas Young proved that light functions as a wave.
He described the capillary action, how our eyes focus and see color. He deciphered hieroglyphs, contributed to music theory, and compared the grammar of 400 languages.
He is called, 'The last man who knew everything.'
Yet he would be the last to make such a claim. Despite having such enormous academic achievements, he still maintained the humility needed to continue learning. He was rarely known to shove his knowledge in people's faces but could answer highly complex and specific questions with ease, and only answered when asked.
In short, his friends loved him. Yet there are people with far fewer accolades who fancy themselves the master of every subject. I have certainly had a boss who fancied themselves the only person who knew everything.
The person with the inflated ego feels the need to be the master of every subject. Why does he refuse to accept criticism or apologize? Each time something goes wrong, he finds a way to blame anyone near him.
It's because his identity becomes wrapped up in being all-knowing. This person often becomes subject to the Backfire Effect. You've seen it when a person is caught lying (or in the wrong), and it's glaringly obvious. Rather than admit it after being called out, they double down and start believing their own lie or mistake.
You're most at risk of rejecting feedback and doubling down when dealing with something that is a core value of your life, a thing that you define yourself from.
A professor won't likely take kindly to his methods of teaching being criticized, or his intelligence being called into question. A stay-at-home parent will be defensive when his or her parenting is criticized — even if the constructive feedback is very valuable and kindly delivered by their partner.
Criticisms close to your identity put you at risk of going nuclear. And as hard as I try to stay humble, I'm sure I'd be upset if a friend casually said to me, 'Hey, I read some of your writing. I don't think you're very good at it.'
Namely, because it would be a jerk move and mean-spirited, and also because I care about being a decent writer. It's the north star I'll forever chase. Then again, this profession puts us writers through the gauntlet of trolls so most of us have thick skins already.
This reactiveness is good — in the sense that it shows you care. You should take pride in the things that you pour your life's energy into. There's a lesson you can use from a well known martial artist.
Bruce Lee was known to study a wide variety of subjects and blend them together in his philosophies of life and martial arts.
His ability to create hybrid martial arts and coin wisdom from disparate realms is, in part, what made him so legendary.
A signature focus was his study of the ego. On it, Lee once wrote, 'To understand and live now, there must be a dying to everything of yesterday. Die continually to every newly gained experience — and be in a state in the choiceless awareness of what is.'
Within this mindset, you allow your identity to constantly shed and evolve. But this can only be done in a state of surrender. You must let go and remain open to the endless possibilities and contradictions that are presented, and often at odds with perspectives you are conditioned to. You must become less attached to your strongly held beliefs, and be more present in the moment. Take in this information with a cool and neutral mind.
Bruce worked deeply on managing his ego and being a consummate learner. He became a master of his craft because of his humility. Remember that the ego often betrays us. It misinforms.
A group of German scientists found that your brain often draws a conclusion before 'you' actually get there. Your preconceptions create a fog that leads to hasty, erroneous beliefs.
The intense defensiveness you feel is because your brain spotted the more accurate answer before your ego could get to it.
One trick is to adopt an alter ego, also called the Batman Effect. It helps you deal with information that might upset your self-perception. By pretending to be someone else for that moment, you can view reality more objectively. It's why people who speak a second language can often make better decisions when thinking through it in that second language.
The act of thinking in their weaker language creates separation from their sense of self. They become more rational. So before you react to harsh feedback by throwing your drink in someone's face, ask yourself if it's you that's mad, or your ego.
One way to kill your ego is to understand it from a zen perspective.
Think of the entire universe as expressing itself through your human experience. You're the ocean crashing into the shore. The cherries hanging from the tree. The car weaving along the cliff highway.
There's a oneness that can be achieved by understanding we're all here for a finite time. Imagine if nothing could offend you. Imagine you could learn from any feedback and instantly implement it without it derailing your day. As a writer, I'm constantly challenged by commenters. They leave cutting criticisms. And those comments only hurt when they are accurate. I feel them deep down and want to reject them.
In my world, it's easy to get caught up in your own echo chamber. I see writers constantly blocking users who offer any criticism while upvoting and replying to all the positive feedback. People reconstruct these realities constantly in the outside world.
It's fun to live inside a loop of your own praise. However, at some point, you're hamstringing yourself.
Remember that your coworkers also have similar fears and anxieties that are haunting them.
Understand and speak to those fears, and you position yourself to be more trusted and relied upon. As your career grows, it's easy to let toxic egotism get to your head. You're getting better, developing skills, and landing new job titles. It can all be intoxicating and provide immense affirmation.
I find that the healthiest way for me to see the world is as it truly is — rather than some filtered, appetizing version that appeals only to a sense of self-importance. With a healthy ego, you believe in yourself, understand others, and treat feedback as transformative and valuable rather than rejecting it as poison.