I'm grieving for my daughter - but DWP told me to just get a job

Wales Online

4 days ago

I'm grieving for my daughter - but DWP told me to just get a job
Tracy Hailwood, 54, has cared for her severely disabled daughter Stacey for 33 years but says she has been left homeless after the DWP told her to 'just get a job'
Tracy Hailwood at her home in Heald Green , Cheadle that she is forced to sell
(Image: Sean Hansford | Manchester Evening News )
Tracy Hailwood, who became a single mum at 19 and devoted 33 years to caring for her severely disabled daughter, is now grieving her loss. After her daughter's death, Tracy says she was told by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) to 'get a job', despite having no qualifications or work history.
Tracy has expressed her frustration with the DWP, which responded to her situation by saying it "always provides the best possible support to those who need it." This "best possible support," the DWP says, is "paying carer's allowance for several weeks after someone's caring role ends."
The 54-year-old told the Manchester Evening News, she feels: "It's a slap in the face."
Tracey's daughter Stacey was left severely brain damaged after a incident at hospital in late 1980s
(Image: Sean Hansford | Manchester Evening News )
"I'm grieving for my child, but the DWP said there's 'nothing they can do, you just have to sign straight on and start looking for a job'." For our free daily briefing on the biggest issues facing the nation, sign up to the Wales Matters newsletter here
"I've been a full-time carer for more than 33 years with my daughter, I haven't got any work history and it's made me feel like I'm going a bit crazy.
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"I'm sitting in a house I'm having to sell because I can't afford to live here. I'm angry, you do all that caring for years because it's your child, but you're also saving the NHS thousands of pounds by doing it.
"I can't afford to do anything until the house is sold and I get the money from that. That means I'm going to be homeless for a while."
Tracy had no qualifications when she gave birth to her daughter, Stacey, as a teenager.
Stacey's life as a new mother took a tragic turn when she was hospitalised with croup and suffered a catastrophic cardiac arrest, leading to severe brain damage.
The brain damage left Stacey with spastic quadriplegia, epilepsy, and blindness.
Tracy recounts the family's lengthy legal battle which culminated in a medical negligence settlement.
"Over the years, she needed constant surgery. She ended up with a gastrostomy and a tracheostomy," Tracy explained.
Tracy described her daughter's condition, saying: "She had the capability of a three-month old baby. She was a perfectly healthy baby before that."
Stacey four days before the hospital admission that left her with brain damage
(Image: Tracy Hailwood )
Reflecting on the challenges she faced, Tracy said: "I was only 19-years-old at the time, she was my first-born, it was a hard struggle coming to terms with everything and trying to cope the best I could. I basically had to start from scratch again and learn how to deal with her needs."
A letter from the hospital received by Tracy in 1998, a decade after the incident, acknowledged the care provided was 'inadequate' and the tragedy was preventable, as reported by the Manchester Evening News.
With the compensation, Tracy purchased a bungalow in Cheadle to accommodate her daughter's special requirements, while also raising her two other children, now aged 33 and 30.
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Supported by a carer's allowance alongside Stacey's personal independence payments (PIP) and employment and support allowance (ESA), the mum-of-three managed their situation, Tracy reveals.
She details her extensive caring role: "I wasn't just Stacey's mother and carer, I was her personal assistant."
"I did all the gastrostomy and tracheostomy changes, I trained up support workers for the 30 hours a week from continuing care."
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Stacey after her brain injury
(Image: Tracy Hailwood )
Tracy further added: "The medical negligence money was in Stacey's bank account and, when she became an adult, the bungalow went into her name. I made sure I kept on top of all the accounts."
Stacey's health began to worsen approximately five years ago, leading to her sad passing in 2023.
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"I knew she could go at any time. I cared for her right to the end," Tracy said with profound loss enveloping her tone.
As Stacey's condition worsened towards the end, becoming almost entirely bed-ridden and perpetually sick, Tracy found herself unable to take any respite, saying: "Towards the end, Stacey was almost completely bed-ridden, she was constantly ill. I had to keep cancelling any respite for me because she was so unwell."
Now grappling with the grief, Tracy admits: "It's only now that I've started to come to terms with the fact she's gone. It's only now that I'm able to talk about her and smile about some things."
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However, following Stacey's death, Tracy encountered more hardships, as she explains: "I thought I'd been through my struggles in life – fighting a court case, fighting to get my daughter education. It wasn't until after she passed away that I knew what a fight was."
Tracy's carer's allowance was halted and she contends that the DWP advised her to 'sign on and get a job'. She now relies on ESA, PIP, universal credit, and jobseeker's allowance for support, yet her prolonged absence from work due to caring for her child has left her at a disadvantage.
"I did everything for Stacey for 33 years so I have no work history," she told M. E.N. "But another problem with being told to just 'get a job' is that before she was born, I didn't have any qualifications anyway.
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"I was a single parent, I didn't even have the back up of a partner. I eventually managed to put myself through college and got an NVQ, but even that was 2005 – that's 20 years ago.
"How am I meant to get a job with no qualifications?".
Adding to the obstacles, Tracy suffers significant health issues; carrying Stacey in their previous home has resulted in severe back pain and a damaged hip.
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Tracy said: "I'm not able to leave the house unless it's for hospital appointments, all my shopping is delivered."
She also highlighted the lack of financial support for parents who lose a child, compared with the bereavement payments available when a spouse dies: "When a spouse passes away you get bereavement payments, with a child you don't. It's just 'sign on, look for a job'."
Stacey during her last Christmas in 2022
(Image: Tracy Hailwood )
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With the expenses associated with maintaining her family home becoming insurmountable, Tracy finds herself in dire straits, forced to sell her property.
"The bungalow has been sold, I'm waiting for a completion date. I just can't afford the running costs," Tracy outlined.
The sale of the house leaves her confronting a period of homelessness as she revealed: "I can't afford to do anything until the house is sold and I get the money from that. That means I'm going to be homeless for a while."
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"I'm going to have to stay with either my son or daughter, or my sister in Liverpool. I'll just have to sofa surf for a bit which isn't going to help my back.
"All I can do is wait for the process to go through."
A DWP spokesperson said: "Our sincerest condolences are with Ms Hailwood.
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"Our aim is always to provide the best possible support to those who need it, which is why we pay Carer's Allowance for several weeks after someone's caring role ends."
However, this 'several weeks' of carer's allowance means little for the grieving mum.
"My mental health has deteriorated so badly. I've thought about taking my own life," said Tracy. "I really want to raise awareness for families going through the same thing right now because all your benefits really do just stop when the person you're caring for dies.
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"I just didn't realise there was very little support for carers of disabled adult children once they pass away. You're just abandoned really."