What's all the fuss around running marathons?
This week I will, again, be living my marathon life vicariously through my friends as a mate takes part in the London Marathon.
This specific friend is working his way through the holy grail of running achievements for the average man — the Big 7 marathons.
They are a series of seven globally renowned marathons: Tokyo, Boston, London, Sydney, Berlin, Chicago and New York, and at this stage he's already run three. With Sydney in August he'll be within 126km of the magnificent seven.
It's quite an achievement and I must admit I haven't really been able to get my head around it, this marathon fever that many people contract.
Whether it's a bucket list thing or just that they are chasing the feeling you get when you cross the finish line; it's certainly an impressive goal.
I think the training probably plays a part as it keeps you active and 'keeps the old man out' as we like to say in this column but I honestly feel like there must be easier challenges.
Having played what I would call semi-professional football for 10 years, I know all about leaning into discomfort. I get that.
I can still distinctly remember saying to myself on several occasions during my footy career, 'why am I putting myself through this?', but at least I was getting paid (well sort of, if you consider $12,000 a season a worthwhile amount).
I come from a family background that preached only undertaking actions that would, in the old Catholic way of things, 'help you get to heaven' — so I was often re-evaluating things.
I have another friend who is of Greek descent and he is now training to do the Athens Marathon.
This of course led me to quickly remind him that Pheidippides, the legendary Greek runner who ran the first marathon from Marathon in Greece to Athens in 490 BC to announce the victory of the Greeks over the Persians. He collapsed and died at the end of his 40km.
My friend Chris looked unfazed that a fella died after running 26 miles and now people do it for fun.
I'm yet to join this marathon frenzy but apparently once running becomes an activity you seek out rather than dread you officially have the runner's mentality.
The other thing that blows me away is the runner's love of Strava, which is basically a social network for athletes. You record what you're doing and it goes to your Strava feed, where your friends can share in the glory. It's sports Instagram I guess you'd say.
Then there's the Garmin watch, which must be stopped precisely when you finish your run, regardless of what's happening. They reckon that even if they get hit by a car, runners will stop their Garmin to record the run officially before dealing with the consequences of a car crash.
A runner's obsession with new running shoes is also remarkable. Maybe we are just a nation of hoarders as I know many blokes who collect surf boards, bikes and guitars without ever considering selling one of their favourites.
It's the same with running shoes for runners. I've lost count of how many times I've heard about Kelvin Kiptum winning the Chicago Marathon in 2:00:35, breaking the men's record by 34 seconds while wearing Nike trainers, the Alphafly 3. I'm pretty sure buying those shoes won't really make a huge difference to the average runner. Maybe not eating that pie at the footy or having chips with a burger will — but not the nearly $400 shoes.
My other advice is to rewatch the scene when Sylvester Stallone runs up those stairs in Rocky followed by the Chariots Of Fire theme song piece before a race and then just try to enjoy yourself.
Soak up the atmosphere, look around, engage with the crowd. A little tip from my marathon-running brother: having your nickname on your back is handy, especially in the States as the Americans like calling out your name. Personally 'Go Barra' would keep me going at least until the next corner.
And when it gets tough just focus on the people in front, on your arms, your breathing.
I read somewhere when negative thoughts creep in, just force yourself to smile, even if you look silly.
Or start chanting 'if it's going to be, it's up to me', it's amazing how that works.
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