Mania Super Senses
Changes in one or more of the five primary senses during a manic or hypomanic episode seems to be common among those of us with bipolar disorder. Sight is sharpened and hearing is amplified. Smell and taste are stronger and more intense. Some become hypersensitive to touch.
We're often hesitant to talk about such perceptual changes. I know I was. I sat in medical screening rooms answering intake questions and thinking that I should be careful how much I shared for fear of being labeled schizophrenic.
What I was experiencing was that everything was just more. Colors were more vibrant, like the difference between standard and high-definition television. I would go on walks and try to capture what I was seeing by taking pictures on my phone. I took dozens of pictures of the fields and meadows of a local nature preserve where I was dazzled by the delicate play of the light across the tall blades of grass. I loved the kaleidoscope of colors, from burnished golds and buttery yellows to tones of deep rich honey and chocolate.
Those pictures look like a photo essay on the color beige now.
I became obsessed with portrayals of enhanced senses in television and movies. One in particular was from the movie Man of Steel, in which a young Clark Kent is shown to be overwhelmed by the enormous sensory input created by his superpowers. It's like he had no sensory filters for the bombardment of sights and sounds he was trying to process. He had to learn to focus his attention by filtering out extraneous sensory noise.
I also tried painting what I saw, and with paint I was better able to express the brightness of color and the interplay of light and shadows. In fact, Vincent Van Gogh had bipolar disorder, and in his paintings I feel a similar drive to capture what he was seeing. In my own paintings from that time, I remember thinking that I was able to achieve a radiance and a depth of color that I hadn't been able to achieve before.
Not much is known about the specific brain mechanisms involved in sensory changes that occur with bipolar disorder. But I suspect that the secret lies with dopamine. Mania is associated with excess dopamine in certain brain regions. Intriguingly, sensory deficits are reported by many patients with Parkinson's disease, which involves dopamine deficits in some of the same brain regions where bipolar disorder patients have surpluses.
I sympathize with those who don't want to take medication because they enjoy the sensory changes and natural high they get during manic episodes. They feel that mania gives them a creative edge backed by seemingly inexhaustible energy, and they don't want to lose it.
Sometimes I wish I could recapture the heightened senses of my worst manic episode. The paintings of mine from that time that I felt had a special radiance don't sparkle for me like they did then.
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