Two years ago, I covered NC's abortion bill while having a miscarriage
Why it matters: Friday marked the anniversary of when those restrictions became law. I covered the bill's passage while I was actively miscarrying, and doing so changed me in an instant — transforming my priorities, in my personal life and in how I approach my job as a political reporter.
Flashback: The early months of 2023 had been a whirlwind. I landed some of the best stories of my career in those months, scooping news that made national headlines and breaking stories that are still the butt of jokes in North Carolina political circles.
Those wins came at a cost, of course. I had poured all of myself into my career: I started my days on the phone at 7am and wrapped up around 10pm, when I would pace my back porch with a glass of wine and chat up sources.
That changed in April 2023, when I took a pregnancy test a few hours before my 27th birthday party. Feeling confident it would be negative, I set the test on my nightstand and took a nap.
Guests were set to start arriving any minute when I remembered to check the results. Two pink lines: Positive. But I knew something wasn't right.
The intrigue: I was waiting for an explanation about what was happening to me when North Carolina lawmakers called a press conference to unveil new abortion restrictions.
Legislative Republicans had been just one vote shy of what they needed to usher tighter restrictions into law until early April 2023, when then- Democrat state Rep. Tricia Cotham switched parties. Cotham's move handed Republicans their long-awaited legislative supermajority and enough votes to pass their first post-Roe abortion bill.
Covering breaking political news is my bread and butter, but I spent that press conference holding back tears. I was so focused on my own circumstances that, for the first time in my life, I could not bring myself to care about my job.
I kept covering the bill in the days that followed, going through the motions while I awaited a call from my doctor.
Two days after the press conference, and the same day the legislature sent the bill to the governor's desk, I got the news: I had been pregnant, but I wasn't anymore. My doctor said he was sorry and to expect more bleeding. I took some time off and pulled back from coverage of the bill.
The big picture: Miscarriages, I learned then, are far more common than people realize. An estimated 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, with as many as 50% attributed to "unspecified" causes, per the Yale School of Medicine.
Many women miscarry before they even know they're pregnant, so miscarriage rates — defined as a pregnancy loss before 20 weeks gestation — are likely higher than the reported 1 in 5. I probably would not have ever known I was pregnant if I hadn't taken a pregnancy test on a whim.
I used to wish I hadn't had the intuition to take a pregnancy test that day. It would have saved me from an E.R. visit the day after my birthday, doctors visits, and, even though I hadn't planned on being pregnant then, hours spent lying awake, dreaming about the baby that was almost mine.
For a year, I prayed the reporter I was before I had a miscarriage would return.
I still miss that version of myself, but I've finally decided I like this version better.
I have a 1-year-old now, who is crazy and perfect and has served as yet another reminder that my family and my sanity are more important than breaking stories that require regularly being on the phone at 10pm.
You used to be a good reporter, someone told me shortly after I returned from maternity leave, but then you had a baby.
I was upset about that statement for a while, but it makes me laugh now.
The bottom line: I am a better reporter because I had a miscarriage — and because I had a baby. Having a miscarriage forced me to spend less time caught up in the back-and-forth of covering state politics, and more time covering what matters to my readers. Having a baby solidified for me that I never want to go back to who I was before April 2023.
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