Caity Baser on the importance of vulnerability in new music
"Everyone sees me as confident, like I don't care, but I think that was just to distract from how I was actually feeling."The Brit-nominee says trying to hide from her deeper feelings eventually started to wear off."So for two or three years I was singing, 'it's fine, everything's fine', but then it gets to a point where you're like, maybe I should deal with why I'm so angry."
Watch That Girl touches on a difficult childhood, fractious parental relationships and heartbreak, with the 22-year-old singing about trauma that "comes in so many shapes and sizes" which all "fit me perfectly".Caity's calling it a "new chapter" as she turns her attention to writing about more personal topics, having built her brand on being young and carefree. "How I presented myself - crazy, loud, being a nutter, that is who I am but I'm also sensitive," she says.And when she was having a down day, presenting that version of herself could be difficult. "I felt genuinely weird if I was on stage and not like that, it just doesn't make sense."I didn't want to feel like I had to switch it on. I want to express all sorts of emotions rather than just one."While the Southampton singer says her old music "made sense to me at the time... it's important for my fans to see that there's other parts of me and that's OK. There's other parts to them too."
Last summer, Caity released her EP Still Learning. Since then, she tells Newsbeat she's learnt quite a lot, mostly just how much she can handle. As she's "matured", she says she found it harder performing some of her older songs. "I can't make a song I don't relate to," she says. "That's why I've done this shift, because I was writing about things that didn't matter to me anymore."Opening up after building a brand on being young and carefree is "scary", Caity says. "I've always been so ashamed of being vulnerable."But at the same time writing her newest project was "the easiest thing I've ever done"."I imagined I was talking to my younger self," she says. "It was really healing for me."
'A Brat time all the time'
While fans love seeing a more authentic side to their favourite artists, Brat summer taught us they also love escapism and balancing those things can be challenging, Caity says. "With Brat summer and my old era, it was so much fun going out and wearing these outfits, but there comes a point where you have to go home, leave the party and deal with stuff," she says. "I'm having a Brat time all the time, I'm a crazy girl, but it's just about finding a happy medium."I'm really big at keeping my peace right now and staying at home."
Her new chapter isn't just for her music, but also social media where she has hundreds of thousands of followers. "If you look at my page, it looks like I'm having a whale of a time," Caity says. "I am - I love my life and I'm so lucky that I live this life but also it's not always like that."Normally, I'd be like, let's put on a smile and let's just be crazy. "Whereas now if I'm feeling a bit sad, a bit tired or whatever, I'll lean into that emotion and make something with that," she says.
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