Can your cheating partner ever change? Married at First Sight's Paul Brunson reveals the truth...

Daily Mail​

08-05-2025

There's gut-wrenching heartbreak, tears and tantrums, and devilish duplicity in new Netflix reality show Cheat: Unfinished Business, as couples ripped apart by infidelity come face to face to heal their scars.
The explosive new series gives viewers an intimate look at the emotional journeys of eight couples dealing with the aftermath of a betrayal and asks burning questions like, 'Will a cheat always be a cheat?' and 'Can trust ever be rebuilt?'
Hosted by Amanda Holden, it brings ex-partners together at a retreat in Mallorca, where they confront their past transgressions and explore the possibility of reconciliation, guided by life coach and Married At First Sight's relationship expert Paul C Brunson.
In a delicate step-by-step process, Paul helps the participants delve into the emotional turmoil caused by the betrayal in an attempt to assuage the pain, confront the truth and rebuild trust.
But will the cheaters be able to earn forgiveness and win back the hearts of those they betrayed, or will they have to bury their relationship for good?
'We're destroying the great myth that you can't come back from infidelity, and another myth that suggests a cheat will always be a cheat,' says Paul.
'Infidelity is complex and painful, but it doesn't always have to end a relationship. If both partners are willing to put in the work to rebuild trust, the whole process can often make their relationship even stronger than before.'
Paul, who's also a resident expert on Channel 4 's Celebs Go Dating and has his own hit podcast We Need To Talk, adds, 'Everything becomes better, from the bond to the satisfaction and the sex.
'Yes, there's anger and sadness because there was betrayal. But this show is about optimism, it's about transparency, and it's about our desire to be better. I was shocked with a lot of the outcomes and I think the audience will be too.'
First, the ex-couples meet in the Reckoning Room. 'I want them to know there's no judgment in here,' says Amanda. 'They're good people who have made mistakes we can all relate to. None of us are perfect.'
Paul agrees. 'We have lots of good people with sometimes bad behaviour so it's about helping them to correct that behaviour. But you cannot begin to build trust until there is full transparency, especially for those who have been cheated on as they need to have answers as to why.
'We try to get them to a place of forgiveness and understanding. This is the Atonement Phase. It can take years, as many people didn't perceive what they did as cheating because maybe their father or mother did this, yet they still loved each other.'
In the case of Liam and Olivia, Liam admits to cheating once, but denies a second time with another girl, even after Olivia shows him the messages sent to her from the girl he cheated with.
'I just want him to be honest,' says Olivia. 'She went into details you wouldn't know unless it was true, so I'm struggling to believe him.'
Paul says honesty is essential. 'The truth is the single best thing couples can do. But there are some interesting twists. Liam looks like he has all the responsibility for making this relationship right. But Olivia has work to do around boundary-setting and asserting herself.
'Another myth to bust is 'never go to bed on an argument'. It's actually much easier to talk in the morning as you're no longer flooded with the fight-or-flight emotion,' Paul says.
Sex isn't always a deal-breaker either. 'Most men perceive a physical infidelity as the highest level of betrayal, whereas most women perceive an emotional infidelity as the highest level. Most men will say, 'Did you sleep with him?' And most women will say, 'Do you love her?'
'Another myth is that the more sex you have, the happier you are. The key to a happy relationship is 'responsive desire'. Spontaneous desire is what you see in the movies – coming home from work and pulling off all your clothes to have sex. No one does that after the first weeks of a relationship,' says Paul.
'Responsive desire comes from continuing to affirm each other as we become closer emotionally. We're building up a reserve of desire so when it's time for sex, you're willing and wanting, responding to what you've built up together.
'I want to say to guys working out to increase their athletic performance, 'This is not going to help!' Good sex is all to do with how safe you feel with that partner and that comes from responsive desire.'
Next is the Attunement Phase: learning how to talk with mutual respect. It can only happen when 'there's been forgiveness and full acceptance of the betrayal,' says Paul.
'You are learning how to do things that perhaps you've never done, and why you had low satisfaction to begin with. You can develop skills so when triggers come up you can manage them without repercussions and blame.'
The final phase is Attachment, in which the couples try to reconnect physically and emotionally, using their new skills to create understanding.
'Cheat focuses on what happened and why. What did the relationship actually look like? Did you really care? Was this the right partner?' says Paul.
'Infidelity needs to be talked about. You might have post-traumatic stress disorder, you become more hyper-vigilant, you have lower self-worth, your entire life has changed. We need to support those who've been impacted by it.'