Then Gordon Kennedy, of Absolutely, was found dead. It was bonkers TV

The Herald Scotland

17-05-2025

Full disclosure: I'm an eejit. Before the first of four parts was over it did not need the powers of Sherlock Holmes to see The Game was a rum do.
Jason Watkins played DI Huw Miller, a chap so dull he couldn't get anyone to attend his retirement bash. Miller was leaving under a cloud, having failed to catch The Ripton Stalker, a serial killer who made his victims think they were going mad. He was so arrogant he even had a catchphrase: 'Catch you later'. As we saw in a flashback, it was the last thing poor Huw heard before the stalker bashed him over the head and escaped.
Back in the present, only Miller's young colleague Jenny (Amber James) made an effort to mark his retirement. 'I don't know what old men like,' she said, handing over cufflinks to the 55-year-old. Ouch, but also quite funny.
It was similarly promising when Gordon Kennedy, of Absolutely fame, turned up as Huw's neighbour, Frank. But then Huw found Frank dead in the bath. Never mind, because Frank's house was bought by Patrick Harbottle (Robson Green), a regular charmer with the ladies. 'I like getting hot and sweaty,' said one neighbour as she offered to help him move in.
Not everyone fell for Patrick's charms. There was something about the new arrival that made Huw's spidey senses tingle, especially Patrick's use of the phrase 'Catch you later'. Was the game of cat and mouse on again, or was Huw imagining things, just like before?
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Green had a smashing time playing smoothie chops Patrick, even if he was hardly Max Cady and this was no Cape Fear. With his polo neck and leather blouson, Patrick looked like he had wandered in from an episode of The Sweeney.
Watkins had a tougher task with his nervy ex-copper. He was far better, more muted, playing another Everyman tested beyond his limits in the drama Coma. Here, he seemed to have only two gears, one and fifth, and he made a right racket changing up and down.
Helping to keep Huw and the drama in general on an even keel was the ever-reliable Sunetra Sarker (Casualty) as the ex-copper's wife, Alice. Her growing scepticism about Patrick kept the drama watchable long after everything else had gone to pot.
They've been together now for 25 years, an' it don't seem a day too much. Apart from her effing and jeffing, him splitting his trousers, and her obsession with knocking down walls, that is.
To mark the quarter of a century since Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer were joined together in unholy telly matrimony, Location, Location, Location Night (Channel 4, Wednesday) gave viewers a tour of the show and the couple's partnership.
(Image: Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp celebrated 25 years together in Location, Location, Location night.)
Beans were duly spilled. 'We have never been an item,' declared Kirstie.
'But we are very good friends,' said Phil, finishing her sentence in true married style. 'Most of the time'.
Whether they are secretly a couple is one of the questions the pair are most often asked. That, and 'Is Phil as nice as he seems?' No and yes were the answers.
Of the four programmes, the look back at the recent history of house buying offered the best value.
The show's original title was The Great House Hunt, but after a few pronunciations went badly wrong, this was changed to Location, Location, Location. The year was 2000 and the average house price was £78,000. Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive even if there was no internet and they had to use phone boxes.
Couple after couple came along, all different but looking for the same thing: a hand to hold while they took the terrifying leap into buying a place.
And help K&P did, as we saw with various case studies, including a couple who traded their flat in London for a house in Arrochar. That so many of the home hunters were still together was a testament to the strength of their relationships and, I'd like to think, the quality of K&P's advice.
What one forgets about this pair, but which soon became evident as they talked us through the boom and bust years, is that they genuinely know their stuff.
The fascinating facts continued. Did you know that they give house hunters their personal phone numbers? The only rule, said Kirstie, was not to phone while drunk. Only one person had broken it: a bloke at the races, showing off to his pals.
As for regrets, they had a few. In Kirstie's case it was evangelising for open plan living, only for Covid to come along.
The night finished with a rerun of the first show, featuring a hunt for a one-bedroom flat in Hackney. I'd like to say Phil had hair back then, but no. Kirstie, however, was a stone-cold fox, a young Julie Burchill lookalike in shades, knee-high boots and a killer fringe.
Kate the renter eventually found her place for grand sum of £103,000. What the place is worth 25 years on I'd hate to say, but Kirstie and Phil will always be gold.
The obsession with property continued as Scotland's Home of the Year (BBC1, Monday) reached the halfway mark.
Back in the olden days of 2019, the year SHOTY began, it did not take much to impress viewers. A cleverly placed skylight or nicely restored parquet flooring was enough to send us racing to B&Q, ready to recreate the look.
But these days, don't even think of coming through the door unless you know your enfilade from your Zellige tiles, your Eames combo from your Togo sofa. In Scotland, in some parts at least, we're all design freaks now.
The judges were in Central and Tayside, where the first stop was the Tree House in Broughty Ferry. Designed by a young architect 60 years ago for his own family, the modernist building had lain empty for five years till Jackie and Paul came along to restore it and add some magic of their own.
For judge Danny it was love at first sight. An architect by trade, Danny is usually the first to wheel out his specialist knowledge, but this time he was beaten to the punch by fellow judge and interior designer Anna. 'It's a classic modernist move to connect spaces with partial walls, setting the rooms up enfilade,' she announced.
'Enfilade?' asked Banjo.
'It means without corridors,' said Anna.
Not wishing to be left out, Danny started banging on about 'clean lines' and 'creating volumes'.
(Image: The Tree House in Broughty Ferry offered a masterclass in modernism. Image: BBC Scotland)
On to the kitchen and even Banjo, normally a plain-speaking sort, felt the need to stick his design oar in, praising the Zellige tiles. A quick Google search revealed these to be Moroccan and known for their 'irregularity of appearance' or, to use a more familiar term, wonkiness.
All we wanted to see was the rest of the house - gorgeous - before stopping off at The Dairy, a farm steading conversion in Deanston near Doune. With its hand-painted animal wallpaper, Welsh blankets and tray of empire biscuits, The Dairy restored the mood to cosy silliness as usual.
The Carriage House, a Victorian conversion in Auchterarder, was the final contender. Audrey and Malcolm's home had some oddly shaped rooms. In the TV room the sofas were away from the walls and placed at a 45 degree angle. Banjo's inner feng shui alarm started to ping. 'I don't know if that's the way to do it,' he said. Did we care? Not much.
They spent so long assessing furniture angles there was hardly any time to praise the jewel in the crown - the garden. I know it's Scotland's home of the year and not Scotland's garden, but maybe there is scope for another programme along those lines. With the original SHOTY now so highfalutin, getting back to basics could be just the thing.
The winner was never in any doubt, with The Tree House five points clear of the other contenders. Next week, the show is in the Highlands and Islands. What are our chances of spotting shadow gap skirting there?