What your bouquet says about you: Secret meanings behind flowers and the variety you should NEVER send

Daily Mail​

2 days ago

There are few gifts more universally perfect than a bouquet of flowers - whether it be for romance, an apology, or just a thoughtful gesture.
But the art of perfecting it is far more complex than many may realise - and you could unknowingly be sending a message far from what's intended.
Floriography, the 'language of flowers', was a common method of communication used in the Victorian era, used to send messages through the secret meanings behind the individual flowers chosen.
But even in 2025, it's just as easy to commit a floral faux pas by choosing the wrong blooms for the wrong occasion.
It could be the colour of the flowers - red, for example, is commonly associated with romance, while white is associated with grief and purity.
And it's just as important to consider the type of flower selected, as common flowers such as lilies, roses and chrysanthemums all have vastly different meanings.
According to data from Tesco, the aster flower, native to Japan, has seen sales boom by nearly 350 per cent in recent years, thanks to its symbolism of love, patience and wisdom.
Of course, the flipside of flowers laden with so much meaning, there's huge potential for a faux pas if you make the wrong choice. Here's what experts say about choosing the right sort of bloom to convey your message.
Asters
Demand for asters in bouquets has more than quadrupled in the last two years - and it's easy to see why.
The flower, which is native to Japan, is associated with love, patience, elegance, grace and wisdom - making it a simple but effective bouquet option, without any risk of causing offence.
Tesco has reported that sales have grown nearly 350 per cent over the last two years, after first being listed in 2022.
The asters' success has been credited to their cheap price point, bright colour and long vase life.
At Tesco, asters sell for just £3 and are a member of the Asteraceae family - the same as sunflowers and dahlias.
Sandra Varley, expert at Flying Flowers, told Daily Mail: 'While the more common flower known for love is a rose, the aster shares this symbolism and is steadily growing in popularity.
'Rooted in Greek mythology, asters were said to have bloomed from the tears of the goddess Astraea and were offered to show love and respect to the Greek gods. With such a romantic history, the aster flower symbolises admiration but also wisdom and faith, making a thoughtful gift to wish someone good fortune in the future.
'Asters are also the September birth flower so why not add it to a birthday bouquet.'
Roses
Red roses are commonly seen as a symbol of romance - associated with love, dating and Valentine's Day.
But if you're looking to give roses without that romantic intention, you could try for pink - which is said to represent gratitude - or yellow - which symbolise friendship.
White roses symbolise innocence and purity, making them a common choice for weddings.
Sandra explained: 'Universally known as a symbol of love, red roses can be the perfect option for a loved one. However, pink hues of the flower can soften this message, adding layers of meaning such as gratitude and appreciation, making them a thoughtful choice for showing love and thanks beyond romance.
'Yellow roses also represent similar feelings of jealousy and betrayal. While more recently known as the 'flower of friendship', in Victorian times the bloom would be sent to accuse someone of betraying you.'
Meanwhile etiquette expert Jo Hayes added: 'Long known as the bloom of love, florists are run off their feet for this lovers' favourite on February 14.
'But there are a few different meanings within the rose family that one should definitely consider.'
Jo says that red roses are 'absolute perfection' for Valentine's Day, or in general to let a romantic partner know you're feeling enamoured.
Pink is just as apt for a 'friend, your mum or celebration of a birthday' - as Jo says they're the perfect message to imply 'you're awesome'.
Crysanthemums
With hundreds of varieties available, Chrysanthemums are a quick and easy choice to put in a bouquet.
They're also the birth month flower for those born in November - meaning they can be the perfect gift especially around winter time.
In Italy, Chrysanthemums are commonly bought around November 2 - for Il Giorno dei Morti - 'the day of the dead', or All Souls' Day.
During the weeks prior, people will leave them at cemeteries to commemorate the dead.
Say it with lesser-known blooms
Monique Kemperman, from Plants & Flowers Foundation Holland revealed some lesser-known flowers to consider, if you're trying to convey the right message.
Alstroemeria
The alstroemeria symbolises a long-lasting friendship, and it's therefore the perfect gift to celebrate a beautiful friendship with. All six petals of the alstroemeria stand for a valuable quality: understanding, humour, patience, compassion, decisiveness and respect. Which petal represents which meaning is up to you to choose. It is a flower that says, 'I am here for you, always'.
Callicarpa
Purple flowers stand for dignity, preparation, seriousness and mourning. That makes this a fitting flower to give to close relatives who are arranging a funeral, to let them know you are there for them. But it is also a fitting flower for many other situations where words fail to come up with the appropriate response.
Cymbidium
In China, this flower is a gift for friends, a symbol of a valued and respected friendship, and even more beautiful when combined with alstroemeria.
This means that the flowers are strictly reserved to funerals and graves - and, according to Flying Flowers, gifting them in a bouquet could imply wishing the receiver 'wasn't alive'.
In most other countries however, chrysanthemums are generally a safe bet - representing joy, friendship and honesty.
Lilies
Famously, white lilies are believed to symbolise rebirth and purity - meaning they often feature at funerals in association with grief. These associations mean they may also be present at weddings.
And though they're less common, it's important not to underestimate the significance of other colours.
Like roses, red lilies can symbolise love and passion, while pink is perfect to gift to a loved one or close friend due to their associations with femininity.
In some cultures, white lilies are associated with death - and therefore should be avoided for events such as baby showers.
Lilies are also extremely toxic to cats and if pets lick or eat one of the plants, they could even develop kidney damage.
According to the PDSA, all parts of the lily are dangerous, including the leaves, flowers and pollen - meaning pet owners should avoid the plants where possible.
'There are many species of lilies, all with different meanings,' Sandra said.
'Stargazer lilies symbolise determination, drive, good fortune and new beginnings, which are perfect to include in a bouquet for students, those starting a new chapter, or well wishes.
'Whereas, white lilies are often associated with sympathy and loss, so it is important to know which species you are sending as you could give off the wrong message.'
Carnations
Carnations are some of the oldest cultivated flowers in the world, dating back to Ancient Greece and Rome, where they were used in crowns and garlands due to associations with love, admiration and celebration.
The flowers were discovered by Theophrastus, one of the first known botanists.
Despite having conflicting meanings in different cultures today, they are generally associated with devotion and love.
According to Christian tradition, pink carnations are associated with the Virgin Mary's tears, giving them additional ties to motherly love and purity.
Like lilies, white carnations represent purity, innocence and good luck, meaning they are often present at sympathy arrangements, including funerals.
'When dating apps weren't around in the Victorian era, lovers had to send sneaky messages to one another with flowers, using different species and colours to represent different feelings,' Sandra said.
'One coded message would be to send a yellow carnation as rejection to their love, so this might be one to avoid when trying out the dating scene.'
Daisies
Though they're small, daisies can make the perfect addition to larger bouquets, or can be the main event themselves.
They're often seen growing naturally in spring and summer, meaning they're commonly associated with new beginnings.
Meanwhile old Celtic legends state that when an infant died, daisies were gods' gift to bring comfort - hence their appearance scattered over fields.
In Norse mythology, the daisy was the sacred flower of Freya, goddess of love and fertility - and even today are still used for welcoming a new baby.
Event and tablescaping expert Lavinia Stewart-Brown said: 'Daisies, often associated with spring, represent innocence and new beginnings, making them a popular choice for baby showers.'
Meanwhile Jo Hayes added: 'This flower represents innocence, purity, loyal love, new beginnings, and "I'll never tell".
'Perhaps, in generations past, the daisy was sent from lover to lover, engaged in a secret romance?
'Perfect for a romantic expression, or simply, embracing the 'innocence' meaning, gifting to a friend.'
Sunflowers
First originating around 1000 BC in the Americas, sunflowers were used as a food source, with their seeds crushed to make flour to make bread.
Today, they're still a practical source of seeds and oil - but their looks alone can make them a useful resource.
Their symbolic meaning comes from the Greek myth of Clytie and Apollo, the god of sun.
Apollo turned Clytie into a sunflower as punishment when their love went sour - but her feelings for him were so strong that she would turn to follow him wherever she went.
As such, bright and bold sunflowers commonly have associations with adoration and loyalty - meaning it's hard to go wrong if you're sending them as a gift.
Lavinia says that the blooms are 'universally linked to positivity' - and make for a sunny addition as either a statement flower or as their own event.
Sandra added: 'Vivid yellow sunflowers and orchids are two blooms that are associated with optimism, pride, achievement and strength, perfect for those graduating, passing their GCSE or A Level exams or starting a new career.'