
Sun lounger vigilantes RUINED my holiday, says disabled Brit OAP after fuming tourists were filmed snatching pool towels
Wheelchair user Elaine Simpson, 77, from Manchester, was staying at the Aquasol Aparthotel near Magaluf with her family to mark her 51st wedding anniversary.
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But her plans to enjoy the special day by the poolside were ruined after a group of friends nabbed the towels they had used to save their spaces at the permission of hotel staff.
Elaine was joined for the trip by her husband and teenage grandkids for a week's break in the sun.
But when they arrived, she was put into a hotel room that was five floors up and as far from the pool as they could have been.
Because she suffers from chronic arthritis and is in a wheelchair, this made it a challenge to claim a hotel sun bed at opening time.
She told the Sun: "We could never have made it down for 9am to get a sunbed.
"So we went out to the beach and paid for sunbeds for the whole week."
Her anniversary came towards the end of their trip - and she wanted to have one day of being able to enjoy the poolside at the hotel.
So she asked reception if they could make an exception to hotel rules and let her reserve a sun bed for that day.
"I went to the man on reception and explained the situation," she said.
"And he said 'you have my approval to reserve some sunbeds around the pool'."
Her teenage grandsons dutifully laid out fresh towels on the sun beds that night so they could save spots for the whole family.
But when they arrived in the morning, the towels had been taken and they were once again left without a space - spoiling the relaxing poolside day they had planned.
"The only thing that was available apart from that was white plastic chairs, she added. "They were too hard. And I can't lie down on the grass, I've got chronic arthritis."
To start with, they were told it had likely been a lifeguard who removed the towels in error.
But it later transpired that a group of friends, who were unaware an exception was made for the family, had taken the towels.
They had shared a video on TikTok of the lads putting down the towels - who the friends had assumed were tourists attempting to get ahead of the morning rush.
The TikTok shows them sneaking down in the dead of night to swipe the towels in what was painted as an act of justice against queue jumpers.
Comments on the video lambasted the family for what was perceived as an inconsiderate act of breaking the hotel rules.
Elaine told the Sun: "It was vile. My grandsons are 13 and 15, they had no right to post any pictures of them.
"They were just trying to look out for me.
"They've not right to do that without checking the facts.
"What somebody saw, and the truth, are completely different."
Elaine said her daughter has since made contact with the TikToker who posted the original video, who apologised profusely for the confusion and took the clip down.
But she added that the experience hasn't entirely soured their trip.
They plan to go back to the same hotel next August, and hope to arrange a more wheelchair friendly room with staff.
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Telegraph
44 minutes ago
- Telegraph
‘I was tricked into eating dog': Travel writers reveal their worst-ever holiday meals
Culinary experiences are often the highlight of a holiday. We're thinking of Seville's atmospheric tapas bars, sun-soaked (and cat-filled) Greek island tavernas and aperitivo hour in Milan. But they can also serve up the lowest of lowlights; gut-churning moments that linger in the memory for a lifetime. Here, seven of our well-travelled writers reveal the worst meal they've ever eaten abroad. 'I was tricked into eating dog' Living in a small Chinese city in my early 20s, I ate all manner of excellent foods: steaming hand-pulled noodles; five-spice smothered meat skewers; thick hotpots; piles of morning glory spiked through with chillies and black sauce. I would eat anything put in front of me – with just one exception: dog meat. A traditional winter delicacy, in the colder months you'd often see – on a long table, alongside other huge plates of raw fare from which customers could pick – a dish of meat with, frequently, the front paws laid across its edge as proof. I am a dog lover – at the time, I even had a dog whose breed hailed from Tibet. There was no way I was going to feast on one of his – or any dog's – relatives. My Chinese friends found this comical: you eat every other animal, they'd say (and I had); why not this one? So one evening, as we gathered around a big communal table, they conspired. Beer and baijiu flowed, the huge glass lazy Susan spun, and finally, without realising, I ended up picking at an unfamiliar meat. A howl of laughter erupted – 'it's dog! You ate dog!'. Wary not to cause offence, I shook my head and laughed along – but the chewy, beef-ish meat in my mouth tasted like ashes, and I've never really forgiven myself. Gemma Knight-Gilani 'It had the aroma of an overflowing urinal' I like to think I've eaten pretty much everything that walks, crawls, slithers or even just hangs there harmlessly in the ocean bothering nobody. (The latter was whale blubber, in Greenland – so glutinously, gelatinously fatty that I may have expended more calories trying to gnaw it than I gained digesting it; the former was 'Foraged Cornish Ants' in, of all places, posh Surrey country-house hotel Beaverbrook.) Only one dish has ever defeated me, in fact: hákarl, the Icelandic 'delicacy' (because 'vomitacy' is not a word) made from poisonous shark buried in sand until it starts to putrefy. Its high urea content gives it an aroma almost exactly like that of an overflowing urinal, and it tastes every bit as good as it smells. Worse still is the texture: smooth but chewy, so that as you gag – and you will gag – you're not sure if it's in your mouth on the way down or the way back up. 'It's ok', said the waiter, collecting my barely-touched plate, 'not even Icelanders actually eat it.' Ed Grenby 'The giant carcass was covered in a thick layer of grey jelly – which quivered as the elderly restaurant owner shuffled it over' As soon as I saw the chicken, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. It lay sprawled on a platter, legs and wings akimbo, its giant carcass covered in a thick layer of grey jelly – which quivered as the elderly restaurant owner shuffled it over. There was no doubt it was for us: my then-boyfriend and I were the only two diners, watched over by a stern official from the Taiwan tourist board, our 'minder' for the entire stay. We were bog-eyed from the 14-hour flight, and when I'd spotted braised chicken on the menu it had sounded so comforting amid this bizarre scenario – nothing like the fridge-cold, ashen hunk of flesh and fat before me. The owner and official lingered at the tableside, and I forced a weak smile. But by the time I'd forced down two mouthfuls, I was in the danger zone. There was no way I could manage another, let alone finish the beast. 'I just can't…', I murmured to my boyfriend. Spotting my pallor, he wordlessly slid the platter to his side of the table and started to work, giving our companions a thumbs-up for good measure. I knew at that moment that he would be the man I'd marry – and he was. You can keep your diamonds, your roses: the man ate the chicken for me. It was so horrendous, that not even the chicken anus skewer I mistakenly tried a few days later eclipsed it – but that's another story... Hazel Plush 'I came home a stone lighter' Everyone we knew who'd gone to Cuba had a culinary horror story to tell, so we played it safe at a reassuringly expensive rooftop restaurant on our first night in Havana. We were young lovers and the setting was suitably romantic. Candles flickered in the Caribbean breeze as the old town twinkled below us and salsa drifted from a nearby club. A perfect evening, and then the food arrived. On first inspection, my chicken looked – if anything – carcinogenic, its charred skin evoking memories of 1980s barbecues. Inside, though, it was all blood and raw flesh, a red sea of salmonella, prompting the inevitable 'a good vet…' joke. Only getting decent food in Cuba is no laughing matter. Having initially claimed that the chicken was cooked, the waiter agreed to source a replacement, which turned out to be the same raw piece of mutilated meat, just flipped over. We left hungry, with no apology, paying only for booze. I'd dodged a bullet, but it was an omen. Days later I was floored by food poisoning so violent it made me nostalgic for Delhi belly. I came home a stone lighter with a culinary horror story of my own. Gavin Haines 'We chomped for what seemed like hours attempting to get through the gristle without retching' Okinawa remains one of my favourite places in the world. This is the island that opened my eyes to emoji-shaped fireworks, lilting sanshin music and Japan 's incredible underwater world. Being adventurous about food meant I indulged in the local crispy pigs ears and purple potato ice cream too – and both were delicious. But everyone has a line. And mine was firmly crossed when I found myself facing a plate of giant sea snails, each bigger than my fist and served in its shell, without a whiff of garlic or butter to mask its gelatinous ooze. These molluscs (also known as Turban Shells) were the star turn in a meal put on by the tourist board for visiting journalists, all of whom were far too polite to decline the dish. So on we chomped, for what seemed like several hours, attempting to get through the gristle without retching over each other. Thank goodness for the Asahi, which not only helped wash them down but also rendered me drunker with every mouthful. Amanda Hyde 'In less time than it takes to tell, there was more of me outside than in' I've had more run-ins with street food stands than you'll care to read about. Worst of all followed the eating of a chicken tamale in a small town outside Orizaba in Mexico. I was seeking traces of my Lancastrian grandfather, who'd had a textile business there decades before. And I was snacking because I'd lost much of my money. An exuberant pickpocket had squeezed in next to me on the bus, chatted gaily and got off with my cash. Initially tasty, the tamale counterattacked a couple of hours later, as I wandered the town. I hadn't booked a hotel, so had no room to return to. There was, though, a park nearby with, thank the Lord, tall, shielding tropical vegetation. In less time than it takes to tell, there was more of me outside than in. I collapsed on a park bench. A young shoe shine boy approached. Could he shine my shoes? No, I said, and if he didn't move briskly, he'd have more than shoes to clean. 'You're unwell,' he said. I nodded, and dashed once more for the bushes. 'Follow me,' he said. I staggered off behind him. Some minutes later we arrived at a white-washed, one-storey house. The young man went in and returned with his mother, Maria. She took me into a tiny bedroom at the back where I stayed for three days and nights, attended by Maria with bottled water and towels. As soon as I could move, I left. Maria, naturally, would take no money. She gave me to understand that looking after people was what women like her did. I left what cash I had left at the local grocery store, that Maria's next shop might be subsidised. And I wonder: if a random, exploding Mexican turned up at my house, would I be so unquestioningly generous? I hope so, I really do. Anthony Peregrine 'We dined in silence on rubbery gizzards' Over the years, I've had disgusting dinners across the world – from fried mopane worms in Namibia to confit of cow's udder at a gourmet restaurant in Bogota. Top of the gut-wrenching charts, however, was a Madagascan Christmas meal at a hostel in the highlands. Boiled more brutally than a Tudor-era traitor, my chicken had long passed on to several next lives. Rubbery gizzards were washed down with 'burned rice tea' – a fancy name for spent water used to soak old iron pots. Dining in silence, we listened to rusty church bells peel as beetles sizzled to death in blinding strip lights overhead. But food is only 50 per cent of a memorable dining experience. That night, my partner and I stayed in separate single-sex dorms wondering who might be first to barricade the loo. While I slept soundly, he was kept up by an elderly traveller farting and ranting about spies from MI5. The following morning, the old man shrugged off his unsociable behaviour, retorting: 'It must have been something I ate.'


Times
an hour ago
- Times
An expert guide to a great (and affordable) late-summer break in Croatia
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Not bad for a five-star on a Croatian island few Brits have heard of. Modern Mediterranean sums up the decor in a hotel created from two art nouveau villas integrated by a glass-skinned block. Refined describes the atmosphere in a secluded pine-cloaked bay. Come to indulge between spa and sunloungers on the bay. B&B doubles from £352 ( Fly to Rijeka I chose a backstreet one-star rather than paying over the odds for an out-of-town mega-resort when I first visited Zadar two decades ago. Since then a new breed of central independent boutique stays has helped to raise the profile of Dalmatia's historic third city. This one's as central as it gets, scattering 16 rooms across an early 20th-century house, a 19th-century former military building and a medieval monastery. Such is Zadar's jumble. All are different but united in being elegant, modern and arty without showing off. Delightful breakfasts in a verdant courtyard B&B doubles from £122 ( Fly to Zadar Croatia's first Hyatt Regency arrived in May not in Dubrovnik, Split or Rijeka, but in Zadar. The five-star was installed in the former distillery of Maraska cherry liqueur — Alfred Hitchcock was a fan, which explains Alfred's Bar, with its sea views. Elsewhere the spa hotel has a Mad Men glamour to its streamlined lines. Befitting the brand, it's a work-and-play address with plenty of marble and wood in the 133 rooms but a fine pool on a vast waterside terrace that begs for cocktails. The old town is ten minutes' walk away, or two minutes by barkajoli (rowing boat) B&B doubles from £196 ( Fly to Zadar Exclusivity on Croatia's glossiest island doesn't come cheap. Ultimately it's up to you whether the four luxury suites here on Palmizana island are worth it. They're rather like an Adriatic take on a New Mexico casita: white cotton sheets and terracotta-coloured walls; a glass wall that slides open to the terrace; a hammock between palms and a plunge pool above the sea. But know this: you're on a tiny car-free island ten minutes from Hvar Town by taxi boat. When diners leave, you and the yachties have the bay to yourself. Think Robinson Crusoe in five-star style and you're B&B doubles from £757 ( Fly to Split Don't worry about the mention of 'resort' in the title. There are no tots whooping down waterslides at this 50-room Relais & Châteaux member — no surprise given that this spa hotel bills itself as 'Croatia's first mindful luxury property'. Rather, 'resort' means all that the thinking traveller requires for a sophisticated break near quiet Stari Grad harbour: chic understated decor, Michelin-rated dining in the Terra restaurant, sunloungers by the pool and sunset beats at the A-Bay beach bar. This month it launched a smart 13m speedboat for private excursions or celeb-style transfers from Split airport. Details B&B doubles from £437 ( Fly to Split I was sceptical when this opened in 2021. It looks like the lair of a Bond villain, and you'll need a similar bank balance to afford it. What were eight ultra-luxury suites doing carved into the hillside of an island backwater of the Zadar archipelago? The answer is Croatian starchitect Nikola Basic's concept of a 'landlocked yacht', where glass-fronted rooms frame views of seascapes (and olive groves, but you get the point). Like an exclusive cruise ship, it's escapism with an infinity pool, gourmet restaurant and spa. Unlike a cruise ship, you can leave whenever you want B&B doubles from £666 ( Fly to Zadar • 17 of the best cruises in Croatia The thing you need to ask about Dubrovnik is whether you genuinely want to be in the old town. Magical first thing, it's chocka by 10am in summer. Sometimes it's better to find a nice resort out of the centre offering everything you need and day trip in. 'Everything' at this 371-room five-star, refurbished in 2020, means three restaurants and three bars, a 2,000 sq m spa, a pool bigger than Dubrovnik's main square, knock-out views, and sea activities. It's 20 minutes' walk from the old town and — the clincher — it costs a quarter of the price of most central Five nights' B&B, including flights and transfers, from £1,391pp • Rixos Premium Dubrovnik hotel review: a swish five-star with fabulous views• More hotels in Dubrovnik We all want different things from hotels. For some the location comes first. For others it's style or good wellness facilities. Which brings me to this stay. The century-old five-star of Dalmatia's biggest city is no longer the most luxurious in town, nor the chicest. So why am I a fan? Well, they've spruced up the art deco and added a spa (rooms remain small, mind; corner ones are best). Breakfasts served by lovely staff are eaten poolside. Bacvice beach is moments away. And although a ten-minute walk from the old town, it's always an oasis of B&B doubles from £235 ( Fly to Split There are many cool stays in Croatia's best city. This isn't one of them, although it's one of the most memorable. A former Venetian noble's residence turned into a heritage hotel, it's a lucky dip of Renaissance beams and gothic fireplaces. The hum of laughter and conversation drifts in from the most handsome square in the old town — the corner room Vid Morpurgo has a balcony over the action. Caveats? The rooms are small by modern standards, and the decor is more homely than high end. And there's no parking. You won't find a nicer stay in the action of old Split, B&B doubles from £318 ( Fly to Split • Best luxury villas in Croatia You want Dubrovnik. You also want bygone Croatia. This is the answer. Part of the Adriatic Luxury Hotels group, this once dowdy three-star on a pretty harbour emerged from a complete refurbishment in 2022 to become a bolt hole for the superyacht crowd. The 21-room hotel in a historic house pulls off the neat trick of French elegance without appearing to try too hard. Don't be fooled — such effortless style takes a lot of work. Breakfast on the harbour terrace among potted orange and lemon trees is a joy. Dubrovnik is accessible by regular water taxis. Don't bet on making B&B doubles from £379 ( Fly to Dubrovnik Lesic Dimitri Palace is the luxury choice in dreamlike Korcula old town, but Tara's Lodge is a better bet for beach holidays. Think of this small modern block with 17 minimalist rooms as a four-star beach club. You'll drink morning coffee on a balcony — sea views are worth the extra £30 — then breakfast served by friendly staff. Days will pass between the private beach and Mediterranean cuisine in Mimi's Bistro. What more do you need? Possibly a car. Though Korcula island is accessible by ferry from Split or Dubrovnik, the old town is two miles from the B&B doubles from £118 ( Fly to Dubrovnik All set for an end-of-summer splurge? Then to Brac island we go. It's Croatia's have-it-all destination: gentle harbours with waterside restaurants, day trips to Croatia's most famous beach Zlatni Rat, hourly ferries to Split (Dalmatia's sexiest city) until midnight. The splurge is this adult-only five-star at Sutivan. Where other hotels are greige, it's a stay of bold, Italianate glamour with first-rate spa facilities. A place for lazy days with books beside a beautiful pool or on 280 sq m of private beach. Boats and mini-cabriolets are available to rent. Bikes are free. Luxury B&B doubles from £328 ( Fly to Split Rovinj is the pin-up of the Istrian coast. Seemingly created for Instagram, it has dreamlike Venetian streets and nightmare crowds. A report by Which? Travel in May recorded 133 visitors in Istria for every resident — the second highest number in Europe after the Greek island of Zante. There are a lot of day-trippers, even in September. That's where this adults-only five-star 20 minutes' walk from the old town comes in. The restaurant is excellent, the mood is calm. There's a luxury spa and a large pool. A private beach club sits alongside the hotel. Kick back by day and, when crowds ease and temperatures cool, drift into town to experience one of Croatia's most bewitching small towns hazed by a golden Three nights' B&B, including flights and transfers, from £1,568pp ( Welcome to the 1970s playground of the Adriatic. Rubbing shoulders were Abba, Sophia Loren and, um, Colonel Gaddafi. Look, it was a different era. By the 1980s five stars had become two. In 2022 it reopened after a £34 million spend that included gutting the place, and promptly won hotel of the year at the Croatian Tourism Awards in 2023. Radisson spent big because the location is peerless: beside the sea on a pine-clad bay yet three miles from central Pula. Perhaps also because vast Seventies spaces upgrade nicely into a refined modernist aesthetic. Jet2 has a new Pula route this year. What you save on flights, splurge here B&B doubles from £184 ( Fly to Pula • 18 of the best Croatian islands to visit In the 2017 movie Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, filmed on Vis island, Donna says she aims 'to make memories'. What she really sought was a bohemian lifestyle on an island far out to sea. Enter this relative newcomer to Croatia's most far-flung inhabited island. The ten-room stay in a historic harbour house is a fine match for a destination that gets more boho-posh by the year. Fine art photography on the walls, cool rattan armchairs, lovely staff, bikes to borrow ― it nails laid-back luxury. Expensive, perhaps, but what price the opportunity to live out the Mamma Mia! fantasy of a simple, stylish life for a fortnight?Details Two nights' B&B from £728 ( Fly to Split This is the year to visit Hvar, Croatia's glitziest island. Negative headlines from a modest beach club scene led authorities to introduce noise restrictions in March (85 decibels, in case you're wondering) and there's a no-nonsense approach to misbehaviour. The goal is to return Hvar Town to being a buzzy small harbour with Venetian Renaissance architecture. Good luck to them, but if you're choosing to visit you'll probably seek some nightlife, so it makes sense to stay somewhere modern, stylish and beside the water. This fits the bill. Boats bob outside, Carpe Diem cocktail bar is opposite and Hula Hula beach club is just around the bay. Details B&B doubles from £253 ( Fly to Split The Elafiti island Lopud has shifted from backwater to Dubrovnik day trip in the 20 years I've been going. Obvious, really — the harbour's pretty, Sunj beach has sand. Anyway, that's where Sipan island comes in. The castaway cool of Bowa beach club aside, the next island on is the anti-Lopud: three miles of nicely scruffy harbours, vineyards and Renaissance chapels. Most people get around on foot. If you're after nothing more than books, strolls, swims and quiet nights, you'll fit right in. The Kristic family's hotel is spotless, friendly, has a small pool and is bang on the sea. They'll transfer you from the airport by B&B doubles from £120 ( Fly to Dubrovnik Second cities such as Sibenik make for more rewarding breaks. They're generally quieter, have fewer tourists and are better value. This hotel, which opened in 2021, proves the point. It compacts all that is good about this small overlooked city in Dalmatia — an old town with a splendid cathedral, good restaurants, sea views — into a small hotel installed in a 17th-century monastery. Open the shutters and you'll see either old stone the colour of ivory or sea and islands that beg for day trips by ferry. Wallow in a rooftop hot tub and you'll see the cathedral spire above roofs. Now check out the price. Beat that, B&B doubles from £117 ( Fly to Split Trogir's fate is to be near Split airport and too often bypassed. Yet Unesco describes it as one of Europe's finest small towns: Romanesque churches, palaces from centuries under Venetian rule. So it is. What it doesn't say is that it has a pretty harbour that seems purpose-designed for pottering around. Stay at this pleasure palace for discerning aesthetes, sophisticated in its Scandi metropolitan style (geometric print throws, rugs skimming parquet floors) while being relaxed. There's the requisite spa plus two pools. The 'beach' of the name is scruffy shingle, but there are sandier stretches on neighbouring Ciovo island, linked by bridge. Parents rejoice: there's a babysitter B&B doubles from £175 ( Fly to Split For romance — historic lodgings, morning coffee before day-trippers arrive, siestas after lunch, strolls to bed after dinner — only the old town will do. This intimate house fits the bill nicely. On a narrow side street, it has 16th-century stone and beams in suites — smaller Standard and Attic rooms are in an adjacent cottage — but cons are mod. Decor is understated, with white walls and buff fabrics upholstering antique furniture. While rooms in the house have modest kitchenettes (those in the cottage share a kitchen) breakfasts are served in-room. Luggage transport into the old town is a nice B&B doubles £368 ( Fly to Dubrovnik Throughout August, Zrce beach on Pag island is Croatia's answer to Ibiza. Go in September or early October and the island reverts to its older self: bare pink-white mountains as austere and magical as a desert, still inlets and modest holiday resorts like Novalja. You're a couple of miles outside Novalja at this rural wine hotel. I first visited when it opened in 2003 and it remains criminally under-valued; one of those little black book finds. Here 11 rooms and suites make a virtue of simplicity, Michelin-starred chef Matija Breges does creative things with island dishes and staff are B&B double from £182 ( Fly to Zadar The 'Rocco' was one of Istria's first smart wine hotels when it opened in the northern wine hills in 2004. It has been eclipsed by more luxurious stays since, but you'll get a week at this 13-room place, with flights, for the price of three nights elsewhere. You're hardly roughing it either. Expect beams and stone walls, a pool and modest spa, free bikes, estate olive oils and wines in the restaurant. Better, it's not isolated like some rural stays, sitting at the edge of Brtonigla, a town yet to be overtaken by tourism. If you want that, it's ten miles away on the coast and in hill-town Motovun. Details Seven nights' B&B, including flights and transfers, from £1,533 ( Do you have a favourite hotel in Croatia? Share it in the comments


Times
2 hours ago
- Times
Scott Mills: ‘I can't even put up an ironing board'
Home is a place where I can be silent. People think that if you are in radio, particularly music-based radio, that you'll want to hear music all the time. I actually don't want to hear anything. After getting up at 4am then speaking to guests for three hours of high-adrenaline interaction live on air, I'm tired. My husband, Sam, often comes home and says, 'Why are you just sat in silence without the TV or radio on?' I love it, but it's draining. Where is home for you now? I lived in various places in London, all the way up to Covid. After that I moved to Hertfordshire. We now live in a new-build house in a quiet little cul-de-sac in the Rickmansworth area. What's the vibe? We're both quite tidy, so it's very modern and pared-back. I don't like clutter. We're aiming for that Scandinavian minimalist vibe. Hygge is the goal, so there are candles galore. I like Diptyque's Baies scent. When people say, 'This is the best-smelling house I've ever been in,' it brings me absolute joy. I came back home recently after a week in Switzerland for Eurovision and it still smelt banging. How different is your home today from the one you grew up in? I grew up in a semi-detached house on a nondescript housing estate in Eastleigh, Hampshire. Lovely, but nothing to write home about. When my mum visits from Southampton she loves the busy feel of the house, but I sense she thinks it's too modern. She wants me to have a pine dresser. Everything in my mum's house was, is and always has been pine. My dad owned a removal company and virtually lived in his van. This was before mobile phones, so it must have been quite isolating and not great for his mental health. But it's actually the complete opposite for me. My work life is so full-on that the prospect of escaping for a few hours in a van where no one can contact me is quite appealing. I remember being about ten and him saying, 'Maybe you could take over the family business,' and me thinking, absolutely not, I'm going to pursue my dream of being on the radio. What has owning your own home taught you about yourself? I'm not flash or extravagant. I know people — who shall remain nameless — who have grand pianos, but that's not me. I'm happy being low-key, although I have graduated from buying the cheapest black ash furniture from Argos to stuff that actually lasts. I can now see the point of buying Le Creuset pans with handles that don't fall off after two days. All I have on my walls are family photos, photos of our wedding and photos of us with our cavapoo, Teddy. 'I now see the point of buying Le Creuset pans,' Mills says ALAMY Any art? I don't understand art and I don't partake in it. I don't get it. A friend bought me some art for my birthday recently and it's in the garage. What can I say? I'm just basic. Do you host many celebrity dinner parties? No. I was much more sociable before the pandemic. I used to have massive Halloween parties at the Finsbury Park house I lived in before. One year Susanna Reid was there — not in fancy dress — Rob Rinder, Ollie Locke from Made in Chelsea came dressed as Superman, Emily Atack, Caroline Flack, then all the X Factor lot turned up with my friend Nick Grimshaw. I remember walking into the upstairs cinema room at about 2am and Rita Ora was doing karaoke to one of her own songs. The internet was buffering, so she'd be halfway through one of her big hits and Grimmy would be standing there shouting, 'What's the wi-fi password?' It was absolute chaos. It's more likely to be Alan and Sarah from next door now, or some of my BBC colleagues like Vernon Kay and Jeremy Vine might still make it to the table. Does your suburban life include copious DIY projects? God no. That's Sam's territory. I have no logic. I can't even put up an ironing board. And don't get me started on deckchairs. Mills during his early days at Radio 1 GILL FLETT/BBC How highbrow are you culturally? My absolute chillout watch right now is Bargain-Loving Brits in the Sun. Check it out. I'm obsessed. There are books in the house, too, but they're Sam's as he's a bookworm. There are piles of them everywhere, which is actually disturbing my minimalist vibe. He tries to make me read but it's not going to happen. There's nothing there. Are you the most famous person in the area? Absolutely not. I was in the local dry cleaner recently and I spotted a bag of clothes with a very exciting label on: 'The Kemps, Martin and Shirlie'. After some Instagram investigation of their home renovations, I've worked out exactly how close to me they live. Without giving too much away, they have gates and a tennis court. If I was to accrue the riches of a 1980s pop star, who knows, maybe we could be even closer neighbours.