‘My boyfriend wants me to wear a sari even though I'm not Indian'
SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media, albeit anonymously, seeking advice as to whether or not she should wear a sari to a date. While she's not Indian, her boyfriend is, and he's said in the past that he would like to see her in a sari.
In a post on r/askSingapore, u/greencatslipslap asked earlier this week for people's thoughts and recommendations, explaining that while she could easily ask her real-life Indian friends to weigh in, she feels somewhat embarrassed to do so.
'I also think they will be kind and encouraging, but I would prefer honesty,' she added.
She went on to explain that her boyfriend has said that he 'really likes traditional Indian clothing for women,' but assured her that he would not want her to wear clothing she's not comfortable in.
Moreover, she appears to want to reciprocate her boyfriend's accommodating behaviour.
'He has really made an effort to fit into my family's cultural celebrations and even speaks some Mandarin to my parents, and I would like to do something to show him my appreciation for that and have been thinking about where to find a sari.'
While she won't be in Singapore for Deepavali, she's considering surprising him by wearing a sari on a date, but wants to be sensitive about the matter.
'I just wanted to hear if anyone has thoughts on what they would think if they saw a Chinese person wearing a sari casually or on a date. Would it be strange? Would they judge my boyfriend and assume he made me wear it?' she asked, adding that she would also appreciate suggestions for where she can buy a sari that's appropriate for casual or evening wear, as she has heard that it's better not to buy one online.
Commenters encouraged her to wear a sari if she wants to.
' Of all the things men have asked their partners to wear, this is level nothing. Don't worry,' one wrote.
Others were more concerned that she would be comfortable in one, as it can be tricky to wear when a person isn't used to it.
By and large, they agreed with the recommendation of not buying a sari online, suggesting that she shop at Little India for an array of choices.
Some suggested that she might want to try alternatives to start with, such as a shalwar kameez, a Punjabi suit, or a chudidar, all of which are easier to handle than a sari. Others, meanwhile, said that if she does choose to wear a sari, she should practice beforehand to make sure she can move about easily.
As one pointed out, a sari 'requires some practice and help in the beginning,'
'Sari wearer here. Tying the sari is one thing. But the other is managing it for the rest of the evening. Walking, climbing stairs, getting in and out of the car, getting in and out of a chair, going to the toilet… these are all things that require some adjustment to the way you normally move, because wearing a sari is not the same as wearing a floor-length dress. The pleats in front make a difference. My advice would be to practice on a non-date day. Spend a few hours in the sari and move around in it.
Small tips: (1) I use two safety pins — one at the waist for the pleats and another on the shoulder for the pallu; (2) get a blouse that fits you well — you can use a bodysuit suit but that makes going to the toilet harder. A very snug cropped t-shirt would do too; (3) wear footwear that leaves your toes bare. I find this makes walking and sitting down, standing up, etc., much easier because I can feel the pleats and don't end up stepping on them,' another recommended. /TISG
Read also: 'Dating in your 30s in Singapore is quietly heartbreaking' — SG woman laments, even after having 'gone on over 50 dates'
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