Marriage Diaries: My husband is a Football Dad but finds my daughter's gymnastics boring
Every Saturday is the same: my husband up and at it early, digging out shin pads and boots for our 10-year-old son, chivvying him along, clattering about in the kitchen and clearly desperate to get to football training.
Our son could be tired, unwell, angling for a lie in or just not that keen but it's business as usual for my husband, such is his passion for football. You would almost think it was my 40-something husband who was limbering up to charge on to a pitch, not our son.
I expect you are thinking I should be pleased my husband is pulling his weight to support our son's hobbies and ensure he remains active. He works long hours Monday to Friday yet always gets involved on a Saturday morning. Yes, it is helpful that my husband is encouraging and more than happy to stand alongside Astroturf for ages. It's great that my son has someone to enjoy football with and to watch games on TV with then pontificate together over a referee's decisions or a Champion's League match draw.
But while I might be pleased my son's interests are given time and space, I am equally aware that our daughter's pursuits don't get a second of my husband's attention. The difference in how he approaches our daughter's interests is a world away to how he behaves around our son. He can't even feign it, looking at his watch as she does a gymnastics performance, and he is always quick to say he can't meet her from dancing. He even yawned as she played him her dance recital music.
I know we shouldn't be setting a bad example to the children by displaying fake enthusiasm but the chasm between how interested my husband is in our son's sports compared to our daughter's is huge. It's as though he has used up all his enthusiasm for our son, and there is nothing at all left for our daughter.
I'm also aware my daughter doesn't get any of the off-the-pitch attention my son does or the in-car camaraderie. My husband obviously doesn't know any of the other girls or parents at our daughter's gymnastics club, whereas he'll greet our son's team mates with nicknames and chew the fat with the other parents.
I'm worried about how this will manifest as our daughter gets older. With teenage moods on the horizon, I'm concerned she will soon start interpreting my husband's sole focus on football as a personal slight and I think it could become a real flash point and potentially damage their father and daughter bond.
Our daughter has made a few remarks about her dad being the father who never watches a show, but typically my husband hasn't noticed and I'm not sure he will until it's too late. He's too invested in ensuring our son is perfecting his penalty kick technique or having banter with the football coach.
On the occasions I have brought up the differences in my husband's attitude to the kids' sports, he has shrugged it off, saying it's no big deal. I'd love for the two of them to have some common ground but unless it's a football ground, my husband won't be interested.
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