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I went on husband's phone and found naked photo of my daughter in a secret folder – I'm disgusted and saddened
I went on husband's phone and found naked photo of my daughter in a secret folder – I'm disgusted and saddened

The Sun

timea day ago

  • Health
  • The Sun

I went on husband's phone and found naked photo of my daughter in a secret folder – I'm disgusted and saddened

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has behaved in the most depraved way and wants me to keep his seedy secret to myself. We tied the knot seven years ago but it's a second marriage for us both. We are in our mid fifties and he has daughters aged 22 and 20, while I have a daughter of 19 and a son who is almost 16. My husband got a new phone and I was having a clear out and decided to see whether I could sell some old mobiles online. I thought I should check if they were clear of any data, but what I found on my husband's recent phone shocked me to the core. There was a file called 'private' and, when I opened it, the first thing I saw was a photograph of my daughter — naked. He had obviously taken it without her knowledge. There were also sordid snaps of him with different men, having sex with them or them performing ­sexual acts on him. There was film footage as well. I feel so disgusted and saddened. When he came in from work, I confronted him immediately and his whole world came crashing down. He said he didn't know how my daughter's picture had ended up on his phone. He claimed she must have put it there. There's no way she knew he had taken this photo. I could tell he was lying. At his request, I have agreed not to tell his girls about him meeting other men, but why should I protect him? He has hurt us all. DEIDRE SAYS: I'm so sorry. He's not the person you thought you married. He has betrayed all of you – especially your daughter. There is no acceptable reason that would explain why he has a naked photograph of her. I'm sorry, but you have to assume he has behaved as a voyeur and taken photos without consent, which is illegal. I would urge you to talk to an organisation called Stop It Now ( 0808 1000 900), which can give you advice. You need support to work out your next steps but, as you are already realising, this man does not deserve protection. Family secrets have a habit of coming out, so put your focus on your daughter rather than worrying about him. This is his mess to get out of. My support pack, How Counselling Can Help, will show you where to find emotional support. CRUSHED BY HIS GUSHING LOVE LETTER TO OLD FLAME DEAR DEIDRE: A LETTER my husband wrote to an ex-girlfriend 30 years ago has broken my heart. I stumbled across it when we were clearing through some paperwork. Our children have grown up, so we are selling up and buying a smaller property nearer to our daughter. I saw an envelope with his writing on the front, addressed to his ex. After showing it to my husband, who is 58, he told me he never had the courage to send it, but he had written it to her after they'd broken up, just before he met me. In the letter, he described how wonderful she was, how intoxicating her perfume was and how empty he felt when she left his bed in the morning. He has never written anything like that to me or ever expressed such romantic feelings. I feel so upset. Am I overthinking this? DEIDRE SAYS: You can't deny your own feelings. You've now seen a side of him that you might not have experienced yourself, so you are bound to be comparing yourself to her – even if it was many years ago. Be open and honest with him about how the letter makes you feel. He may be able to reassure you that he was a very different person then and his ex is history – and you are the love of his life. My support pack, Dealing With Jealousy, will help you and show you where to find support. WRONGLY CHARGED IN HI-TECH CAR PARK DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been fined for parking in my local car park when I didn't even find a space. The ticket machine had been replaced with cameras. I'm a man of 76 and I have used this car park for years without any issue, but that was when you could put money in the machine. Now, cameras record visits and apparently you need to type in your registration plate on the machine instead. There was a fete in the town so it was very busy that day. I drove up the three floors and couldn't find anywhere to park, so I drove out again. There were a lot of cars ahead of me, so it took a little while, but I didn't register my car in the machine. I have now received a letter about me staying in the car park for 17 minutes and not paying the fee. I don't know how to fight it. DEIDRE SAYS: You have a right to challenge a parking ticket if there was no parking space. If you have another receipt from an alternative car park around that time, it might help substantiate your case. You can write back to the issuer of the fine explaining the circumstances, or use a template from To find the template, put 'parking fines' in the search bar. Or you can make an appointment to go in and see someone if you prefer – but take your paperwork with you. LOVER WANTS TO LIVE IN UKRAINE DEAR DEIDRE: THE love of my life might have to move back home to Ukraine. I met her when she came over here under the Government's programme to help Ukrainian civilians after Russia's 2022 invasion. I work as an account manager and she joined our workplace in our logistics department. Her English is excellent and we hit it off when we were introduced. She is 38 and I'm 41. I was single, so I offered to show her around the local area at the weekend. From there, we started dating, then she moved in with me. It's been amazing to love her and feel loved by her, and I could really see a future together. She worries about her parents, though. They're now in their seventies and not in good health. She has been back to see them twice since she first arrived in the UK. But now she has decided she has to go back to Ukraine for longer, to help look after them. Although she has asked me to go too, I have a comfortable life here and I don't want to go to a ­war-torn country. I don't want to lose her, though. DEIDRE SAYS: Of course you don't, and moving to Ukraine would bring up all kinds of difficulties, not least because of the war. Your girlfriend is being pulled in two directions, and going back to see her parents might help her feel more connected to them, but in time she may even decide to return to the UK. Even if she were to stay there permanently, you could visit her to see if you can envisage yourself living there. If you can't, you're going to have to make a decision about whether you want to have a long-distance relationship, or accept this won't work. Discuss your options with a counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy ( 01455 883 300).

Daughter, 23, Graduates College. Now, Her Mom Is Demanding a $1K Monthly Allowance
Daughter, 23, Graduates College. Now, Her Mom Is Demanding a $1K Monthly Allowance

Yahoo

time3 days ago

  • Business
  • Yahoo

Daughter, 23, Graduates College. Now, Her Mom Is Demanding a $1K Monthly Allowance

A young woman has been financially supporting her family for years, but her mom's latest request went too far The mother is demanding that her daughter give her $1,000 each month The 23-year-old shot down the request, but is struggling to maintain her boundariesA young woman turned to the Reddit community for advice after her mother demanded a hefty monthly allowance. For background, the 23-year-old explained that she had previously promised to help her mom if she left her toxic relationship, which impacted the entire family. However, money became the "subject of constant arguments" between the two as her mom "expected" her to support them financially despite being in school. The situation became increasingly complicated as her mother's expectations grew. 'I lived away from home for 5 years while studying, rarely visiting on weekends and sometimes never at all as I worked a hospitality job to support myself and would constantly give money to my mom to help even though I don't live there,' the daughter explained in her post. After graduating, the poster said she found a job that "pays really well for a new grad." As she embarked on her professional career, the woman hoped to focus on building her own life and financial stability. However, the mother's recent request for a $1,000-a-month allowance has reignited tensions between them. The daughter found herself torn between her desire to help and her need to establish her own independence. 'Now I have moved to another city, rent on my own, have finance on a car, have student loans, and have to pay my own bills,' she shared. 'Plus pay for my own travel to and attendance of professional development hours (at least 20 hours a year) which cost tens of thousands in my profession," the poster continued. The woman's frustration only heightened as she recounted her mother's spending habits, noting that the money she had previously sent was often used for non-essential items rather than basic necessities. 'She doesn't want to work and she overspends what I used to send her," the Redditor shared. "She buys designer clothing for my younger brother and so much junk food rather than just essentials." To shed light on the mother's work history, the poster explained that "she couldn't work" because her ex-husband "didn't let her," but "she was happy being a housewife." However, now that she's out of the relationship, the mom is still making excuses for why she can't get a job. "Then when I convinced her to leave, it was that culturally she isn't allowed to work and people will see her as brazen,' the poster explained. Despite her efforts to set boundaries, the young woman said she feels constantly guilt-tripped into providing financial assistance. Her mother's latest request for a $1,000 allowance, framed as 'only $30 a day,' pushed her to seek outside perspective on the situation. 'I said to her, 'My siblings, all 5 of them, can work to earn $30 a day and still earn more than that and I will not be paying,'' she recounted of their conversation. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Now, the mother is upset that her daughter won't meet her demands. Meanwhile, the college graduate is struggling to balance her desire to help her family with her own need for financial stability and independence. Read the original article on People

I give my daughter a £27 allowance a week but my son nothing - I think it's fair
I give my daughter a £27 allowance a week but my son nothing - I think it's fair

Daily Mail​

time4 days ago

  • General
  • Daily Mail​

I give my daughter a £27 allowance a week but my son nothing - I think it's fair

A mother-of-two has sparked a debate online after she revealed she gives her daughter $60 (£27) allowance a week but her son nothing. Taking to Reddit, the woman, who is from Auckland, New Zealand, explained she recently moved house with her children to live closer to her parents due to their declining health. The 45-year-old, who has a 17-year-old daughter and 14-year-old son, revealed her daughter has adjusted well to the move but her son is struggling and misses his friends, despite getting to visit them every two weeks. However due to the move the mother explained she now works from home three days a week and needed to create an office space for herself. She explained: 'My bedroom is too small, and the only options were the lounge or one of the kids' rooms during school hours. 'I proposed this to them - my son flat-out refused ('no way in hell'), but my daughter offered her room and half-joked about charging me rent for the space. I thought it was fair, as I get a $20/day work-from-home allowance. 'I agreed to give it to her if she was okay with me setting up a small office in her room. I work from 8:30 to 5:00, and she usually starts homework right after I finish, so it's worked out well. 'I didn't immediately agree to the deal with my daughter. I offered it to my son first, who reiterated 'hell no' and 'get the f*** out of my room''. However, this has now really upset her son as he believes he should get an equal allowance and he started an argument with his sister about it. The mother explained she gave both children the same opportunity but her son refused to let her use his room. She said: 'I told him he had the same opportunity and was now out of luck. He got angry and brought up the move, saying he never gets to see his friends. 'For the record, I drive them back to visit every two weeks for visits. I told him I understood his feelings but said I wouldn't tolerate being spoken to like s**t. 'He then started an argument with his sister too - going in on her for being an opportunistic b**** and she called him a whiny little a***hole. 'To cool off, I offered one of them the option to stay at their grandparents for the night - not as a punishment but to break the tension. 'My son opted to go and while dropping him off, my mom told me I was favouring my daughter and should be paying them equally. My dad disagreed, saying my son had the chance and was out of luck.' Asking for some advice on the situation the mother turned to social media who gave conflicting advice. Many suggested her son should do chores around the house to work for the same amount of money. One person wrote: 'She's not favouriting her at all. He has the chance at this himself and said 'hell no' he doesn't want to give up his space or privacy. The daughter was willing to do this. And after a joke about rent. 'The OP obviously saw that as a good idea. And from what i gather. She still gave him a chance to say yes. But he repeated 'hell no'. 'It isn't like she's giving her daughter money for nothing. That teenage girl has given up her space and privacy. 'So it's only fair that she be compensated for that. The son is mad because he didn't want to move, wants to see his friends more than once very two weeks. And wants money for nothing. He didn't want to give anything up exchange for money. But he's mad his sister did. 'If he wants money so badly, he needs to do something for it. And not just expect it.' Another said: 'In addition, the daughter is committing to maintain the room in a state where it's usable for the mom's work. 'Things need to be out of mom's way. Private things need to be out of sight in general, and especially so if mom is going to be on a video call since people will be able to see the room. 'Daughter is agreeing to shape the routine of her life around mom's life in a way that son doesn't have to think about at all. Paying her a bit for that isn't outrageous. 'If son wants to take on a bunch of extra chores or something so he earns some money too, fine.' Someone else said: 'The son had the choice. I know people don't like the consequences of their actions these days but maybe it's time for her son (and you) to grow up.' A fourth added: 'Yes, her son is out of pocket and insanely disrespectful. I'm baffled at the comments saying to bend over backwards for him or give him money too for doing nothing. this is why there are so many a***** entitled men in society right now.' Another added: 'Came to say the same and also your daughter's offering is an act of kindness. And you paying her for her sacrifice was kind as well. 'Your son chose to be selfish and shouldn't be rewarded for it. Maybe your son should take this as a learning opportunity to be kind without expectations. 'He really needs to learn he's not going to just get his way by lashing out and calling his sister derogatory words when she was being a nice person. 'NTA at all. Don't let the moving situation sway you. I'm sure you feel bad for him but you are spending gas money and time driving him to still see his friends. That's kind of you.' Someone else added: 'Offer your son a 'job,' like weekly a couple of things to do. It could be things like taking out the garbage or yard work or even vacuuming. That way he has an opportunity to receive money too.' However others believed the mother was being unfair and blamed her for 'uprooting' the children's lives. One person said: 'You said he was having trouble adjusting - that's the only safe space he currently has. 'Anyone, especially a teenage boy is going to have a knee jerk reaction to a suggestion that his space may be invaded. 'You've uprooted his life - and by the sounds of it he doesn't have the income to be able to go socialise with anyone else outside of school even if he's invited. 'You must've known the limitations in advance and this should have been discussed before moving.' Another said: 'The fact you say he shut himself in his room speaks volumes. Your kid is incredibly unhappy and you're adding to it. 'You haven't addressed whether or not you provide your son funds to socialise outside of school - or recognise that might be his only 'safe' space or the only place he's comfortable.' Someone else wrote: 'You're playing it a little fast and loose here. Your son may well have offered his space if there was $60/week on the table. 'It's true that your daughter made the offer without promise of payment, but you did turn around and offer her compensation for the favor. See how that works, son? 'I think you need to be accountable for that, mom.' Another added: 'YTA. You created a problem where none needed to be created. You should've used the lounge as the kids are not home during that time anyway. 'Giving one child the best part of $240 per month but your other child gets nothing and then you tell that other child that they're "S*** out of luck" is a level of BS that no parent should be reaching to. 'You're going to need to find a way to equal this out. Either Split the $60pw between them by getting your son to do something too or pay your son $60pw also for something. 'There really is enough rivalry between siblings without their parent adding more animosity into the mix.'

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