I Found My Daughter's Pregnancy Test. Should I Have Told My Wife?
From the Ethicist:
You owe it to your adult daughter to respect her privacy. You owe it to your wife to share important information about your daughter's life. Which matters more here? That may depend in part on your particular marital understanding, which may depend, in turn, on your cultural traditions. But to my way of thinking, that unused plastic wand is pretty low on the list of things that clamor for disclosure. This wasn't a cache of heroin or an alarming medical report. (If you ever did come across something truly consequential, you might want to talk to your daughter first and offer to help her share it if needed.)
So I'm with you. You stumbled on something that this 25-year-old presumably intended to keep private, and you recognized that she's entitled to that privacy — even when under your roof, even when sharing the Wi-Fi. That doesn't make you a secretive spouse. It makes you a father who knows, perhaps better than most, how to respect an adult child's boundaries. Kudos for that.
Readers Respond
The previous question was from a reader who was dating a man who wanted to be exclusive. He wrote: 'I'm a 20-year-old male college student who met someone new this spring. I recently let him know I'm not interested in monogamy right now. He seemed to take it all right, but I later discovered that within two weeks, he slept with three people without telling me.
'To ease tensions, I agreed to four months of exclusivity to see where we stand. … Should I suppress my bohemian urges and go along with his desire for exclusivity or attempt another structured conversation about it?' — Name Withheld
Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
2 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Mother-in-Law Says Grandmas 'Can Do What They Want.' Mom Says She Won't Be Babysitting Anymore
After repeatedly ignoring basic rules with her newborn, one woman says her mother-in-law is no longer welcomed to babysitNEED TO KNOW A mom set clear rules for her newborn, but her mother-in-law had other ideas A simple request turned into a months-long power struggle Now, she's drawing a line, and not everyone in the family agreesA woman looks to the Reddit community for advice following a tense fallout with her mother-in-law over a series of ignored boundaries with her newborn daughter. In a heartfelt post titled 'AITA for not allowing my MIL to babysit anymore?' she shares the details of a situation that has left her feeling disrespected and unheard. 'From the moment my baby was born, I was very clear about the basic boundaries I had with the baby,' the new mom writes. Her requests were simple: no kissing, wash hands before touching the baby and ask before taking the baby from her arms. She describes how she and her husband were living with his mother shortly after their baby girl was born, hoping for some extra support. But instead of feeling supported, she says, her boundaries were crossed 'within the first week after the baby was born.' Despite clearly explaining her expectations, she says her mother-in-law refused to listen. 'She responded with 'I'm the grandma and grandmas can do what they want,' ' the mom reveals, adding that this attitude only continued. She notes that she and her husband both spoke to his mother multiple times, attempting to reinforce the importance of their rules. But instead of improving, the situation escalated as her MIL 'completely disregarded our rules and continued to [ignore] them.' In addition to boundary violations, she says her mother-in-law started referring to the baby in a way that made her deeply uncomfortable. 'She also began to call our child 'her child,' ' she writes, explaining that her MIL would reach for the baby, saying, 'Give me my child.' These moments were not taken lightly by the new mom, who says the behavior 'made me very uncomfortable.' She also shares that each time she and her husband addressed the issue, it 'would continue to become defensive and start big arguments.' Feeling overwhelmed and increasingly isolated, the couple decided to make a major change. 'After our baby turned 2 months old, we moved out of state due to my husband's military assignment,' she explains. But the space didn't end the tension. Soon after the move, her MIL began making plans to visit and babysit, which led to the mom putting her foot down. 'I've told her and my husband that I don't feel comfortable with her babysitting anymore,' she says. Her reasoning was clear: 'Until she can respect the rules and boundaries I've had in place and until she can respect me as a mother, I no longer want her in my home.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The Reddit post ends with a direct question to the community: 'So, AITA for saying these things?' And the comments come pouring in with strong support for her stance. One commenter writes, 'This is just a sign of much worse to come,' warning her not to let her mother-in-law take away precious memories from this time in her life. 'Don't let her rob you of what's supposed to be happy times that you'll never get back.' Another user echoes the sentiment and applauds her strength in taking a stand. 'Not overreacting,' they say. 'I think it's good you are setting these boundaries now.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
CBS News
5 minutes ago
- CBS News
Manatee spotted on Cape Cod for first time in nearly a decade
A manatee has been spotted on Cape Cod for the first time since 2016. It was first seen in Mashpee on July 26, according to MassWildlife protected species program manager Erin Burke. It was seen again on July 29 in Mattapoisett, where it briefly ended up stranded on the tidal flats before people helped get it back into the water. MassWildlife has been in contact with the International Fund for Animal Welfare about potentially rescuing the manatee. Burke said water temperatures will soon dip below what a manatee can handle. "The reason they're concerned is because the animal doesn't look well, it looks a little thin," Burke said. Manatees typically make their home in the warm waters off Florida and the Gulf Coast and will migrate further north in the summer. It's uncommon, but not unheard of, for manatees to make their way up to New England, Burke said. A pregnant manatee was rescued on Cape Cod in 2016 as the water turned colder and then released in Florida. In 2023, a manatee was spotted in Quonochontaug Pond in Charlestown, Rhode Island and was later found dead. The IFAW said only four manatee sightings have been documented in Massachusetts in the last 17 years. It is working with federal wildlife officials to monitor the manatee. "We ask that anyone who encounters this manatee or any other marine mammal maintains a safe and respectful distance-at least 150 feet. Do not attempt to feed, touch, or closely approach the animal," the organization said in a statement. "These actions can be harmful to both the animal and the public, and in some cases are a violation of federal law." Anyone who sees the manatee in distress is urged to call the IFAW's stranding hotline at 508-743-9548.
Bloomberg
35 minutes ago
- Bloomberg
How We Avoided World War III
The dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima 80 years ago this week is something to commemorate but not celebrate. It was also the beginning of a new era: the Atomic Age. Growing up in the latter stages of the Cold War, my generation didn't live with the sense of menace and the Bert the Turtle duck-and-cover drills baby boomers endured. But both cohorts were blessed by the absence of a large-scale war, conventional or nuclear, between the US and the Soviet Union. Which brings up an 80-year-old question: Did the development of atomic weapons keep the peace during the Cold War? And if so, what accounts for this paradoxical result? The simple answer is the unsatisfying one: It's complicated.
