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Bride wants to refuse $100,000 wedding gift because it comes with strings attached. Ramsey show gives advice
A newly-married woman from San Francisco called The Ramsey Show with a dilemma that pits her and her new husband against the cultural expectations of her extended family. Don't miss Thanks to Jeff Bezos, you can now become a landlord for as little as $100 — and no, you don't have to deal with tenants or fix freezers. Here's how I'm 49 years old and have nothing saved for retirement — what should I do? Don't panic. Here are 6 of the easiest ways you can catch up (and fast) Want an extra $1,300,000 when you retire? Dave Ramsey says this 7-step plan 'works every single time' to kill debt, get rich in America — and that 'anyone' can do it The caller states that she and her husband were recently married and although some of her extended family couldn't attend the ceremony, her grandmother and aunt wanted to send a generous monetary gift of around $100,000. But instead of being thrilled, the caller was conflicted. Why? Because in her experience, money from family (and especially her opinionated grandmother), tends to come with strings attached. She worried that accepting the funds would invite unwanted advice and interference in her new marriage. To further complicate matters, her mother disagreed with the couple's decision to decline the gift, calling it "disrespectful." She then offered to accept the money on the newlyweds' behalf and 'pass it along,' adding another layer of pressure. What advice did Ramsey and Kamel give the caller? Dave Ramsey and co-host George Kamel were quick to pick up on the real issue — this isn't about a generous gift; it's about control. Ramsey pointed out that while the gift might not come with explicit conditions, the callers' worry of future meddling was valid. "You understand, though, that when you say 'no thank you,'' there is no pleasant enough way to say that to people who think they have the right to walk into your life and tell you what to do … they're still not going to accept that," he said. Read more: Nervous about the stock market? Gain potential quarterly income through this $1B private real estate fund — even if you're not a millionaire. Their advice was firm: Do not accept the money if it compromises your independence or causes stress in your marriage. 'At the time [you] took that vow of 'for richer or poorer, in sickness and health,' that means the rest of you don't get a vote anymore,' Ramsey explained. "[The] ballot box is closed." The hosts emphasized that setting these boundaries is difficult, especially in families where guilt and manipulation are common. Ramsey recommended a book that would help the caller learn to set and keep boundaries. "Get Dr. Henry Cloud's book 'Boundaries,' because when you read it, one of the first chapters is going to tell you you're not crazy. You're not. And that's good. And that this is wrong. And it's not a cultural thing — it's an interference thing." Despite the challenges, Ramsey and Kamel say the discomfort in setting those boundaries will be worth the peace of mind. How to set financial boundaries with family Setting boundaries about money — especially with family — can be emotionally difficult. But it's crucial for maintaining a healthy marriage and protecting your financial well-being. In this situation, the caller is being given money, but in some families, it's about knowing when and how to say no to money requests, rather than offers. So, how do you do it? According to Headspace, the first step is identifying what you're comfortable with. In the caller's case, it meant declining a well-meaning but complicated gift. It's okay to say, 'Thank you, but we've decided not to accept monetary gifts right now.' For you, it might mean saying, "No, I cannot loan/give you money." When it comes to giving money, don't lend more than you're willing or able to part with comfortably. And be clear about expectations. Here are a few tips for drawing clear lines: Be direct but kind: A firm 'no thank you' can be more respectful than a reluctant 'yes.' Don't overly explain your reasoning: This can give family the idea that if they can overcome those reasons, you'll change your mind. 'No' is a complete sentence. Use 'we' language: If you're in a partnership, presenting a united front helps reduce outside influence. Acknowledge good intentions: Let family know you appreciate their generosity and/or trust in the offer or ask, even if you ultimately decline it. Set and repeat boundaries as needed: One conversation might not be enough, especially if your family is used to being involved in your decisions. Remember you're not responsible for others' feelings — or financial health: You can't control what other people do and you aren't responsible for how they feel. Setting boundaries isn't about being cold or ungrateful; it's about clearly defining what you will and won't accept in your life. When it comes to money and family, those lines can easily get blurred. However, by establishing firm, respectful limits, you can protect your peace, values and relationships. What to read next Robert Kiyosaki warns of a 'Greater Depression' coming to the US — with millions of Americans going poor. But he says these 2 'easy-money' assets will bring in 'great wealth'. How to get in now Here are 5 simple ways to grow rich with real estate if you don't want to play landlord. And you can even start with as little as $10 Rich, young Americans are ditching the stormy stock market — here are the alternative assets they're banking on instead Here are 5 'must have' items that Americans (almost) always overpay for — and very quickly regret. How many are hurting you? Stay in the know. Join 200,000+ readers and get the best of Moneywise sent straight to your inbox every week for free. This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
8 minutes ago
- Yahoo
My son brought home his college girlfriend for a week. We had to set ground rules, but yes, they slept in the same room.
My son brought his college girlfriend home for a week, and we set up some ground rules. But mostly, we let them do whatever they wanted as long as they were respectful. Yes, they shared a room, but it wasn't awkward because we treated them like adults. Welcoming a young adult home from college isn't always easy. They aren't the same people you dropped off nine months before. While my husband and I were thrilled we'd have our son home this summer between his freshman and sophomore years, we knew things had changed. After all, he chose to attend university halfway across the country, blazed his own trail out west, and started dating a fellow student. It seemed serious fairly fast, so we weren't surprised when he told us he planned to travel to Europe for a weeklong visit during the break to see her. However, when it became clear she wanted to make the same trek to stay with us, we weren't entirely sure what to expect. A bit of level-setting off the top made all the difference and kept things easy, breezy, and fun. Here's how we navigated the experience. We first established house rules We've always had pretty simple rules: If you're borrowing one of our cars, never drive impaired. Give us a general idea of when you'll be home. Call if you need help. Be conscientious, treat others as you'd prefer to be treated. In short: Don't be a jerk. Ahead of our guest's arrival, we reminded our son of our home's code of conduct. Discussing sleeping arrangements ahead of time was also crucial. Together, we decided they would share his bedroom, bathroom, and, of course, our common spaces. We simply asked for respect and discretion. The young couple was courteous, lovely, and sweet. They appreciated being treated as the adults they are, and there was no weirdness whatsoever. They set their own itinerary Aside from the first evening, when I knew his girlfriend would be exhausted after her long flight and made dinner at home, I left the entire week's planning to my son. His dad and I offered suggestions when he asked for them, but for the most part, we stayed out of the logistics. We didn't impose a curfew. We let them have access to one of our vehicles for the week, and off they went. This gave them agency to pursue their shared interests and to explore as they saw fit. They stayed busy sightseeing, hiking, and exploring as our son showed off his hometown. Truthfully, we didn't see much of them. Plenty of space and grace were key It was important to provide our son and his girlfriend plenty of privacy during her stay. We made sure to knock before entering any closed door — bedroom, bathroom, or otherwise — to avoid any potential embarrassing encounters. We were interested and engaged, but didn't smother, snoop, or otherwise try to insert ourselves in their activities. They needed time together, not with us. How they spent that time was different, too. They stayed up well into the wee hours (but never woke or disturbed me) and slept in far beyond my morning alarm. The two of them ate lots of sugary cereals, gummy candies, and instant ramen — culinary dorm room staples I don't usually keep at home. But I wasn't about to nag or scold. They reminded me of myself at that age. Perhaps someday they'll opt for more nutritious foods and a better circadian rhythm. Or not. That's not mine to manage anymore. We'd be thrilled to welcome her back anytime The week of the visit flew by without a single awkward word, moment, or circumstance. We were all somewhat sad to say our goodbyes. We'd enjoyed getting to know her a bit better and vice versa. She's a delightful human, and we made it clear she is welcome back in our house whenever she wishes to visit again. We look forward to seeing her during the sophomore year move-in, just a few weeks away. While it was a bit strange to see our young adult, well, adulting as he interacted with his girlfriend in our home, we couldn't be more grateful. At a time when so many teens are struggling to connect with anything other than a screen, his dad and I were thrilled to see him happy in a mature, healthy relationship. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
8 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Republicans look to make a U-turn on federal commitment to electric vehicles for the Postal Service
WASHINGTON (AP) — A year after being lauded for its plan to replace thousands of aging, gas-powered mail trucks with a mostly electric fleet, the U.S. Postal Service is facing congressional attempts to strip billions in federal EV funding. In June, the Senate parliamentarian blocked a Republican proposal in a major tax-and-spending bill to sell off the agency's new electric vehicles and infrastructure and revoke remaining federal money. But efforts to halt the fleet's shift to clean energy continue in the name of cost savings. Donald Maston, president of the National Rural Letter Carriers' Association, said canceling the program now would have the opposite effect, squandering millions of dollars. 'I think it would be shortsighted for Congress to now suddenly decide they're going to try to go backwards and take the money away for the EVs or stop that process because that's just going to be a bunch of money on infrastructure that's been wasted," he said. Beyond that, many in the scientific community fear the government could pass on an opportunity to reduce carbon emissions that contribute to global warming when urgent action is needed. Electrified vehicles reduce emissions A 2022 University of Michigan study found the new electric postal vehicles could cut total greenhouse gas emissions by up to 20 million tons over the predicted, cumulative 20-year lifetime of the trucks. That's a fraction of the more than 6,000 million metric tons emitted annually in the United States, said professor Gregory A. Keoleian, co-director of the university's Center for Sustainable Systems. But he said the push toward electric vehicles is critical and needs to accelerate, given the intensifying impacts of climate change. 'We're already falling short of goals for reducing emissions,' Keoleian said. 'We've been making progress, but the actions being taken or proposed will really reverse decarbonization progress that has been made to date.' Many GOP lawmakers share President Donald Trump's criticism of the Biden-era green energy push and say the Postal Service should stick to delivering mail. Sen. Joni Ernst, R-Iowa, said 'it didn't make sense for the Postal Service to invest so heavily in an all-electric force." She said she will pursue legislation to rescind what is left of the $3 billion from the Inflation Reduction Act allocated to help cover the $10 billion cost of new postal vehicles. Ernst has called the EV initiative a 'boondoggle' and "a textbook example of waste,' citing delays, high costs and concerns over cold-weather performance. 'You always evaluate the programs, see if they are working. But the rate at which the company that's providing those vehicles is able to produce them, they are so far behind schedule, they will never be able to fulfill that contract," Ernst said during a recent appearance at the Iowa State Fair, referring to Wisconsin-based Oshkosh Defense. 'For now,' she added, "gas-powered vehicles — use some ethanol in them — I think is wonderful.' Corn-based ethanol is a boon to Iowa's farmers, but the effort to reverse course has other Republican support. Rep. Michael Cloud, R-Texas, a co-sponsor of the rollback effort, has said the EV order should be canceled because the project "has delivered nothing but delays, defective trucks, and skyrocketing costs.' The Postal Service maintains that the production delay of the Next Generation Delivery Vehicles, or NGDVs, was 'very modest" and not unexpected. 'The production quantity ramp-up was planned for and intended to be very gradual in the early months to allow time for potential modest production or supplier issues to be successfully resolved,' spokesperson Kim Frum said. EVs help in modernization effort The independent, self-funded federal agency, which is paid for mostly by postage and product sales, is in the middle of a $40 billion, 10-year modernization and financial stabilization plan. The EV effort had the full backing of Democratic President Joe Biden, who pledged to move toward an all-electric federal fleet of car and trucks. The 'Deliver for America' plan calls for modernizing the ground fleet, notably the Grumman Long Life Vehicle, which dates back to 1987 and is fuel-inefficient at 9 mpg. The vehicles are well past their projected 24-year lifespan and are prone to breakdowns and even fires. 'Our mechanics are miracle workers,' said Mark Dimondstein, president of the American Postal Workers Union. 'The parts are not available. They fabricate them. They do the best they can.' The Postal Service announced in 2022 it would deploy at least 66,000 electric vehicles by 2028, including commercial off-the-shelf models, after years of deliberation and criticism it was moving too slowly to reduce emissions. By 2024, the agency was awarded a Presidential Sustainability Award for its efforts to electrify the largest fleet in the federal government. Building new postal trucks In 2021, Oshkosh Defense was awarded a contract for up to 165,000 battery electric and internal combustion engine Next Generation vehicles over 10 years. The first of the odd-looking trucks, with hoods resembling a duck's bill, began service in Georgia last year. Designed for greater package capacity, the trucks are equipped with airbags, blind-spot monitoring, collision sensors, 360-degree cameras and antilock brakes. There's also a new creature comfort: air conditioning. Douglas Lape, special assistant to the president of the National Association of Letter Carriers and a former carrier, is among numerous postal employees who have had a say in the new design. He marvels at how Oshkosh designed and built a new vehicle, transforming an old North Carolina warehouse into a factory along the way. 'I was in that building when it was nothing but shelving,' he said. 'And now, being a completely functioning plant where everything is built in-house — they press the bodies in there, they do all of the assembly — it's really amazing in my opinion.' Where things stand now The agency has so far ordered 51,500 NGDVs, including 35,000 battery-powered vehicles. To date, it has received 300 battery vehicles and 1,000 gas-powered ones. Former Postmaster General Louis DeJoy said in 2022 the agency expected to purchase chiefly zero-emissions delivery vehicles by 2026. It still needs some internal combustion engine vehicles that travel longer distances. Frum, the Postal Service spokesperson, said the planned NGDV purchases were "carefully considered from a business perspective' and are being deployed to routes and facilities where they will save money. The agency has also received more than 8,200 of 9,250 Ford E-Transit electric vehicles it has ordered, she said. Ernst said it's fine for the Postal Service to use EVs already purchased. 'But you know what? We need to be smart about the way we are providing services through the federal government,' she said. 'And that was not a smart move.' Maxwell Woody, lead author of the University of Michigan study, made the opposite case. Postal vehicles, he said, have low average speeds and a high number of stops and starts that enable regenerative braking. Routes average under 30 miles and are known in advance, making planning easier. 'It's the perfect application for an electric vehicle," he said, 'and it's a particularly inefficient application for an internal combustion engine vehicle.' ____ Associated Press writer Hannah Fingerhut in Des Moines, Iowa, contributed to this report. Susan Haigh, The Associated Press Effettua l'accesso per consultare il tuo portafoglio
