Meet the solo Chinese mums who are not single parents

RNZ News

08-05-2025

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Chinese nationals have filed the majority of applications for New Zealand's Guardian of a Student Visitor Visa over the past decade, reflecting a growing trend among parents accompanying children studying abroad.
The
visa
allows one parent or legal guardian to live in New Zealand to care for a child aged 17 or younger who holds a student visa.
According to data from Immigration New Zealand, 23,066 applications were submitted between 1 January 2015 and 4 May 2025.
Of those, 12,699 - roughly 55 percent - were submitted by Chinese nationals. South Korea was the second-largest source, with 5547 applications over the same period.
Known in Mandarin as peidu mama and peidu baba - literally "mothers or fathers who accompany their children while they study" - these parents accompany their children as they study abroad.
Many have left behind careers and personal stability to move to New Zealand in pursuit of better opportunities for the next generation.
They say the role comes with multiple layers of difficulty - not just raising a child alone in a foreign country but also adjusting to a new culture without the familiar support networks they once relied on.
Moris Li moved from Beijing to Auckland with her son in July 2024.
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Attracted to New Zealand's purported relaxed pace of life, Moris Li moved from Beijing to Auckland with her son in July last year. Her son is now a Year 7 student at Kohia Terrace School.
Li said her greatest challenge had been raising her son alone in a foreign country without the support of extended family.
"When I want to take a break, there's no one to step in for me," Li said. "Sometimes I just want to drive around and catch up with friends, but I can't go far. I must do the school run and get dinner ready before my son comes home. I barely have any time for myself."
Li said her husband can only visit for short periods on a visitor visa, as New Zealand's Guardian of a Student Visitor Visa is granted to just one parent or legal guardian.
That restriction, she said, had posed another challenge for the family - her son lacks a father figure in his formative years.
"My son is 11, he wants to play sports, but I can barely help with that," she said. "He's approaching puberty and has a lot on his mind. Sometimes he asks me, 'Why can't Dad stay here with us?'"
Li said her husband was considering applying for a student visa to stay in New Zealand for longer.
However, the high tuition fees for international students would place a heavy financial burden on the family, she said.
Returning to China wasn't a simple option either, Li said.
She believed her son would likely struggle to keep up with his peers due to stark differences between the two education systems.
"He would have to take an entrance exam for intermediate school in Beijing, and it's extremely competitive - getting into a good school depends entirely on grades," she said. "Based on what he's learned here so far, his chances of getting into a good school back home are very slim."
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Tina Zhang has lived in East Auckland for about two years. Her son is currently a Year 12 student at Botany Downs Secondary College.
Originally from the coastal province of Jiangsu, Zhang said she chose to accompany her son to New Zealand to escape the intense academic pressure of the Chinese education system.
"The schools in Jiangsu are very competitive," Zhang said. "When my son started intermediate school, he was basically arriving at school before 7am, and classes didn't finish until around 9:30 or 10 at night.
"Even after coming home, he couldn't rest - he still had to do homework. Students in China work incredibly hard, but their physical and mental health isn't always protected."
Zhang has struggled with English as a second language.
She attended a few free English classes offered in the community but expressed frustration that many of these programs were only available to New Zealand residents and citizens.
"Although I've been living here for almost two years, I don't think I've made much progress in speaking English," she said.
Zhang had initially planned to enrol in a language school to improve her English but ultimately gave up on the idea.
She was worried it would place an additional financial burden on the family, especially since they were already paying high international student fees for her son.
She hoped to secure part-time work to help ease the financial burden.
"Everything here costs money - my son's tuition, rent - but I don't have any opportunity to earn," she said. "It's not easy for a mother to raise a child and build a life alone in a foreign country."
Lily Zhang is the administrator of an online support group for parents on Chinese social media platform WeChat.
She said the group was formed in 2021 to advocate for the inclusion of student guardian visa holders in the government's one-off 2021 Resident Visa eligibility criteria.
Over time, it evolved into a broader community where Chinese parents "cuddle together for warmth," sharing information and offering mutual support.
At its peak, the group had around 500 members, Zhang said.
Today, it numbers were closer to 400, with most of them being parents who have relocated to New Zealand to support their children's education.
Zhang said such parents were often misunderstood by the broader community as simply being wealthy.
In reality, she said, most were grappling with the same challenges and hardships that many new immigrants faced while trying to build a life in a foreign country.
"We've been cuddling together for warmth for many years," she said. "I just want to encourage and comfort them, so they know they haven't been forgotten here in New Zealand."
Zhang said some couples eventually ended up divorcing due to prolonged separation, while other families found themselves facing a difficult choice: remain in New Zealand or return to China.
"There's basically no turning back once you bring your child abroad," she said. "The role of a 'study parent' is more challenging than most jobs, especially in a foreign country where you don't speak the language. Job opportunities are limited, and you don't feel valued beyond just spending money."
Zhang hoped the wider community could show more understanding and care toward such parents.
Anna Yang said living in New Zealand with her son had been rewarding.
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After living with her 5-year-old son in Auckland for about a year, Beijing resident Anna Yang has decided to return to China and reunite with her husband once her son turned 7.
Yang made the decision because she didn't want to be separated from her husband for an extended period.
"New Zealand schools have four breaks a year, so we can take advantage of the holidays to go back to China," she said.
"My husband visits us roughly every two months, so our relationship hasn't been significantly affected so far. But, over the long term, it would definitely take a toll."
Yang said that formal schooling in China typically began at age 7 - later than in New Zealand - so her son could spend two years learning English before returning home to begin primary school.
Yang said the typical cost of living and studying in New Zealand for a child and accompanying guardian typically ranged from $100,000 to $200,000 each year, depending on the family's needs.
Despite the financial burden and the requirement for one parent to be fully dedicated to the role, she said the experience of living and studying in New Zealand has been deeply rewarding.
Echo Zhang encouraged parents accompanying their children studying in New Zealand to refrain from trying to take on all responsibilities alone.
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Echo Zhang lives on Auckland's North Shore with her 16-year-old daughter.
She said that maintaining relationships with partners was one of the key challenges that many mothers accompanying their children studying in New Zealand faced.
"Although we're here to accompany our children, we're not single mums," she said.
Zhang said she discussed her daughter's education and development in regular video calls with her husband.
She said such conversations helped her husband feel involved, while also providing her with parenting advice and much-needed emotional support.
Zhang believed her role as an accompanying guardian was meaningful, despite the misunderstandings that often surrounded it.
"Even though we barely earn any money right now - or have no income at all - we shouldn't undervalue ourselves," she said.
She encouraged other parents in similar situations to seek support from family, friends and the community instead of trying to shoulder everything alone.
She said it was also important to look after their mental health.
"Our family members back in China aren't just breadwinners," she said. "We should reach out, share our struggles and keep the lines of communication open."
Jock Gilray, director of visa at Immigration New Zealand, said the Guardian of a Student Visitor Visa allowed a parent or legal guardian to accompany their child while studying in New Zealand.
"They are granted a multiple-entry visitor visa, valid for the same period as the student visa held by the student they are accompanying," Gilray said.
The visa was issued to one parent or legal guardian at a time, Gilray said.
If additional guardians wished to travel to New Zealand with the child, they needed to apply for a separate visa appropriate to their own circumstances, he said.
Guardian visa holders were not eligible for an Accredited Employer Work Visa, Specific Purpose or Event Work Visa or Student Visa, he said.
However, Gilray said they could apply for a variation of conditions to be permitted to work or study part time.
"If a [variation] is granted, they are only permitted to work part time between 9:30am and 2:30pm, Monday to Friday, or part-time study," Gilray said.
"This is to ensure they are still undertaking their guardianship duties as those are the conditions of their visa."