Dads, the unsung heroes of families

The Sun

7 hours ago

MOTHER'S Day reigns supreme, officially crowned by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914 after Anna Jarvis' tireless campaign.
Father's Day, on the other hand, was a definite latecomer. Despite Sonora Smart Dodd championing dads since 1910, it only got President Richard Nixon's official nod in 1972. A 58-year lag! Talk about being fashionably late to the party.
This delay may suggest Father's Day was an afterthought – a belated: 'Oh right, dads deserve love too!' moment.
But does it truly mean dads have been sidelined while moms bask in the spotlight?
Let's explore, with a dash of humour and some mall-watching wisdom from Kuala Lumpur, where dads quietly prove they are the unsung heroes navigating family chaos.
Confession time: I have been guilty of treating Father's Day like the opening act to Mother's Day's headliner. In my family, it was a routine – a quick nod to Dad, maybe a quirky mug proclaiming 'World's *Almost* Best Dad', and that was the show.
Mom gets the bouquets, the five-star lunches, the whole nine yards. Dad? He is lucky if we remember to wish him, and honestly, he is quite happy with a regular cone of ice cream.
It was not malicious, just an unspoken consensus that Dad's fine with a pat on the back and a drink. Maybe it is because dads, like mine, project such chill acceptance.
However, observing the vibrant scene at a bustling Kuala Lumpur mall shifted my perspective. I realised we have been utterly underestimating how epic dads truly are.
Weekends transform this KL mall into a human zoo. Families swarm, children ricochet off displays and parents operate in survival mode. Armed with coffee, I morph into an amateur anthropologist.
The classic dad montage cracks me up every time – one poor soul awkwardly cradling the youngest while two others treat him like a human jungle gym.
It is like a live version of 'Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush' as the children circle wildly while dad tries to balance the chaos – cradling the youngest in one arm, the other performing a frantic a dance of gestures.
And mom? Likely exploring retail therapy on the seventh floor, perhaps agonising over her third handbag choice. Dad, meanwhile, stays remarkably collected. No yelling, no 'Stop pulling my ear!' – just pure, patient dad energy.
Is it love? Survival instinct? The designated child-wrangler while mom conquers the shops? I lean towards love – seasoned with a hefty dose of 'I signed up for this'.
My dad embodied worry-free vibes. Mom managed the bills, the schedules and the intense 'Did you do your homework?' interrogations.
Dad? He was the guy rolling in at midnight, waking us up with a grin to declare 'Mi-goreng o'clock!' Picture bleary-eyed children sleepwalking to the dining table while dad beamed like a lottery winner, ripping open packs of noodles.
We would gorge, bedtime forgotten. Mom would inevitably wake up, shoot 'the look' and mutter about 'irresponsible parenting'. But we adored it. Those forbidden midnight feasts felt like our secret club, undeniable proof that Dad's love arrived in weird, wonderful packages.
It was not the 'tuck you in with a story' kind, it was his unique brand: 'I know I've got five kids and right now we are having fun.'
Society casts moms as the heart of the home, the nurturers, the boo-boo kissers or the fixers. A poster in my living room declares: 'Home is where mom is'. Dads? Often relegated to providers and the breadwinners who may toss a ball around, if he is in the mood.
This stereotype likely fuelled Father's Day feeling like an add-on and it is why dads' quieter sacrifices get overlooked. They are the ones doing the heavy lifting without fanfare, holding the fort (or the baby) in chaotic malls and weathering the toddler. They are the anchors.
The lament that 'moms get all the cake' holds water. Pre-Mother's Day, stores explode in colours of cards, gifts and spa deals galore. Father's Day? You may find a sparse rack of 'Best
Dad' keychains languishing near the clearance stocks.
Social media echoes that Mother's Day trends with heartfelt tributes while Father's Day often gets a 'Here's a tie, love ya' vibe. But crucially, dads are not out there demanding parades.
My mall-side anthropology reveals that dads often seem genuinely content being the steady anchor – even while being dragged through a toy store by a determined, everything-wanting child. That is not ignorance; it is a conscious choice to let the family shine while they ensure it does not fall apart.
So, let us wrap this up by finally giving dads their due, maybe not flowers, but perhaps a sizzler drink and whatever else. Father's Day arrived late but its meaning is no less profound.
Dads do not need a national holiday to prove their legendary status as they demonstrate it daily.
This Father's Day, let's move beyond the token card. Plan a family outing he chooses and tell him plainly: 'You're the real MVP.'
Let's celebrate the quiet heroes holding it all together.
'MPV' stands for 'most valuable player', by the way!
Dr Bhavani Krishna Iyer holds a doctorate in English literature. Her professional background encompasses teaching, journalism and public relations. She is currently pursuing a second master's degree in counselling. Comments: [e-mail]