What's The Scariest Wikipedia Page About A Missing Person?
For example, maybe the story of Tara Calico's disappearance left you feeling unsettled because a creepy AF Polaroid photo of a woman who looked a lot like Tara, her mouth duck-taped and tied up in the back of a van, showed up in a parking lot a year after she went missing.
Or perhaps the disappearance of Brianna Maitland shook you to your core because her car was discovered BACKED INTO an abandoned house without a trace of the driver?!
What about the the story of Johnny Gosch who disappeared during his morning paper route in 1982 and whose mother claimed that he visited her with an unidentified man 15 years later?
Well, true crime experts, now it's your turn to share. What's the scariest Wikipedia page about a missing person (or persons) you've ever read? Tell us your story in the comments or via the totally anonymous form below, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post or video.
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Buzz Feed
6 days ago
- Buzz Feed
Women Reveal How "Nice Guys" Became Dangerous
We recently covered this Reddit thread where women spoke up about their horrible and often frightening experiences with self-proclaimed "nice guys." Women from the BuzzFeed Community then chimed in with their own deeply disturbing and infuriating "nice guy" encounters. Here's what they shared: "I had a friend from work, and we would hang out and often book overtime together. I genuinely thought he was a friend until he asked me out. I politely declined, and he seemed to accept it, and we continued to hang out. One night while gaming at his, he borrowed my phone to order takeout as his phone had a low battery. Later, when I looked at my phone, I realized he'd gone into my private folder and sent dozens of my more 'intimate' photos to himself. He then tried to convince me I'd been hacked and then sent me a dick pic to try and show that he'd been hacked too. He finally admitted what he'd done. It made me physically sick. We are no longer friends." "A coworker I was friends with started jokingly asking me out constantly in front of other coworkers and tried to make the date a prize for a bet. I wasn't interested, so I told him so. He made a huge deal about it. The next day, I started getting creepy calls from strange men on my cellphone. He had posted numerous Craigslist ads with my phone number, saying I was giving out free massages for 'practice' and that I would 'provide the candles and wine.' I told everyone at work that someone had posted my info and put me in danger, and I never spoke to him again." "I was talking to a guy I met on an app. He'd been very sweet, but a little odd, in all our conversations. Our first date was planned, and he wanted to do a video call before. I'm so glad we did because the vibes were way off. I tried to be mostly honest and told him I didn't think we were compatible. He never responded to my message and removed me from Snapchat. Not 12 hours later, he messaged me on Instagram saying I ghosted him (I actually did the opposite), passive-aggressively thanked me for not wasting his time, and told me to 'have a nice life 👍.' Five hours after that (with no response from me), he messaged again saying, 'Don't think this gives you value,' 'You can go fuck yourself for rejecting me,' and 'People like you are why dating is so hard.' I kept all the screenshots because I thought his little tantrum was hilarious, but I dodged a major bullet." "I went on a date with a 'nice guy' from Tinder. He said he was looking for the same thing I was (biggest lie in the book). We got lunch, and I wanted to get to know him as one does on a date. He just shut me down. Then we went and sat in a park and talked for a little, and that was it. Not a great date. But, I got home and later got a text asking if I wanted to sleep with him and his friend (another guy). When I said no because I wasn't that kind of person and didn't think this was going to go anywhere, I was called a prude, and a bunch of other lovely things were said to me. Not to mention, he still tries to contact me occasionally to this day." "I hooked up with this guy in college after a fun night out, and we started texting. I added him on Facebook a few days later. He texted me, thanking me for the friend request. This was 2010, so I grabbed my computer to check out his profile. Two things stood out: the 'in a relationship' relationship status (with the girlfriend tagged, whose public profile pic included him in the picture, his did not) and his bio, which said, 'People say I'm a nice guy.'" "I used to say hi in passing to a guy in my dorm. He seemed nice enough and seemed to get along with others in our dorm. I also had a serious boyfriend. My college was in a small town in the countryside. I had realized my room wasn't how I left it more than a few times and complained to security, but it was little things, and they blew me off. Maybe I misremembered? One day, I discovered he had finagled a key to my room. He was taking people in there, lying on my bed, and moving my things. He told them he was my sidepiece. The boys who told me believed him and laughed at me, calling me names. Again, I had no proof, so security wouldn't act. I was moved to a different room. Then I got a sublet for the summer. He told folks he knew where I lived and which room in the house was mine. He also described the broken window latch and how someone could climb onto the porch roof and access my room. It was true." "Waaaaay back in the day when E-Harmony had just debuted online, no apps or anything like it, I started chatting with a guy via either email or through the site (can't remember which). We seemed to click and set up a date at a local restaurant. It was a pleasant date, but I didn't feel any spark or anything like that. We said goodnight, and I thanked him for the dinner. He didn't attempt to kiss me or anything. I messaged him the following day to thank him again and let him know that I wasn't really feeling it. I was polite and said something to the effect of wishing him well, and I hoped he would find someone. His response, and I remember it word for word because it was so shocking, was 'Fuck you. I knew you never loved me anyway.'" "My brother is, sadly, one of these 'nice guys'. He has spent well over $300 on a girl before for Christmas presents for her and her daughter, after the woman lost her job as a bartender. He will tip the bartenders really high and will generally act like a creep because he is one. And then he bemoans that he's still alone and can't win at love. Never mind that he doesn't bathe, looks like something dragged beneath a semi for 10 miles, and smells like he's been dipped in a vat of Axe and skunk spray. In his mind, he has money to burn, and if he's willing to spend on the ladies, they should be willing to put out for him." "I was hanging out with my brother's friend because we were both going through it, and each needed a friend. I've known this guy since I was 3 and he was 12. We're both sharers, and we eventually started sharing about sexual trauma. His response? 'We should have sex.' I am still so thrown because I always thought we had a sibling relationship." "A guy I met through a childhood friend mistook my politeness for interest. He was 10 years my senior, and I had zero interest in anything other than friendship. One day, he asked if I could come to his new place to help him unpack. He said a bunch of mutual friends would be there as well. When I arrived, no one else was there, and he was already unpacked. He guilted me into staying to watch a movie, and then tried to grab me inappropriately. I panicked and lied that I was gay (I'm bi, so not entirely untrue) so he'd let me leave. When I began dating my current boyfriend, he texted me and called me a misleading slut, then told me I'd have to 'regain his trust' if we were ever to be friends again. I blocked him immediately." "I used to work in a very customer-centric department of a grocery store, so my 'customer service' personality was always on. A coworker decided he liked me and asked me out. Foolishly, I agreed. Once he realized my customer service personality wasn't who I really was, he started making demands: dress more feminine, go to the gym with him, eat salads more often, stop getting piercings and tattoos, stop wearing certain colors, stop listening to the music I liked and watching my favorite type of shows and movies, stop talking to other guys (including my brothers and cousins for some reason???) and generally misguided batshit nonsense. He basically had this fantasy of who I was, and when I didn't match that fantasy, he tried to mold me into it." "In college, I noticed the quiet guy had a Star Wars journal, and I complimented him on it. I made friendly small talk with him throughout the semester and invited him to group hangouts (we were in the music program). One night, he did a favor and helped feed my cats while my boyfriend and I went to a show. When we returned home, he left a handwritten card, 'I love you' poetry, a Blu-ray of Moana, and the new Zelda game for my boyfriend. It was an odd gesture. When I saw him the following day to say thank you and politely hand back the gifts, he had this level of anger I'd never seen before. He called me a slut and vented that all pretty girls think they can treat others like shit. He also told me I wasted his time. Okay??" "I was in my late 20s, and he was my coworker in his late 60s. I saw him as a grandfatherly figure, gave him hugs, and practiced my Spanish with him. He'd bring me lunch sometimes and always found me at shift start to ask about my life and my family. Just kindness, right? Then he asked for my number one night, saying he wanted to practice his English outside of work. I agreed, so he'd text me in English, and I'd text him back in Spanish or English. After a month, he grabbed me from behind, provocatively scooping my waist. I addressed it and said it was uncomfortable, and I don't like being touched. His response was to ask whether I had a boyfriend or husband. I said I did not, so he told me we would be together because I was single. I told him no, I chose to be single and tried distancing myself." "We were in the same friend group in high school, but never dated. After he graduated two years before me, he would occasionally show up at my house because he was 'in the neighborhood.' He had always been nice to me, but had never made a move or suggested anything like that. When I graduated from high school, he showed up at my house with an engagement ring and asked me to marry him. I was completely shocked, considering we had never had any kind of romantic interaction. He was mad when I turned him down and told me that he had loved me for years, and we were meant to be together." "Not me, but my friend at uni. She started hanging out with this guy from one of our courses. He seemed like a 'nice' guy. It all was fine until he wanted to get serious, and she didn't. She made it clear to him from the beginning that she didn't want a boyfriend (they didn't even sleep together, they were pretty much just friends), but he already caught feelings and wanted more. So, she cut it off rather than leading him on further. Well, Mr. Nice Guy turned into something else. He would stalk her, blow up her phone with threats, and sit outside her house any chance he got (sometimes he would have a friend with him)." "Unfortunately, I ended up marrying 'the nice guy.' He didn't show his true colors until after the wedding. He was the 'self-martyr' who always helped others, volunteered in the community, talked about all his good deeds, etc. I now know this term is called a communal narcissist. Everyone else saw him as this amazing, empathetic, caring person, but he unleashed his abuse on me soon after we got married, and I soon learned it was all a facade. He only 'helped others' to boost his own fragile ego. Thank god I got out of there!!!" "I dated a self-proclaimed older 'nice guy' in his 30s. He had this sad past, which he would tell women to lure them in, and it worked on me. When we are naive, we want to rescue men with our love. He was sweet at first, but slowly he started calling me names and throwing things at me. Then things escalated with controlling and manipulating behaviors. He had me so off balance. He was trying to destroy my confidence and make me dependent on him. Eventually, he became violent, and after a terrible evening out (he started a fight at a restaurant, and the police were called), he came to my house angry because I didn't lie for him to the police. He punched out my windshield, kicked in my door, and stole my phone so he could call my mom and 'tell her what a whore I was.' Then it got physical, and I had to beg for him to leave. But before he left, he screamed at me, 'I fucked so many girls when I was with you that I hope I gave you HIV.'" "I was a senior supervisor in a role some years ago, and one of the junior supervisors and I sometimes had part of our rail commute together. I gave NO indication of wanting anything other than a working relationship, but I had countless DMs from him wanting more. I confided in my male boss; he couldn't have been more supportive. The supervisor was ultimately dismissed for gross misconduct due to the continued sexual harassment. Then he aired it all over Facebook, so that was nice." And: "I wasn't the girl he was attempting to hit on, but he tried to use me to be a creep/'nice guy' to get to my deaf female coworker. I worked as a grocery store cashier to raise some money during the summer before returning to college. I didn't know ASL, but I often wrote to communicate with this coworker in a small notebook. Due to that, management often paired us up to work certain sub-departments of cashiering (like the hot bar), since they were in various areas of the store where other cashiers often weren't. She was slightly younger than I, but we got along well. So, this guy, in his late-40s or early-50s, comes up and tries to say hi to my coworker and attempt a compliment, but she didn't hear him. I politely pointed out that she was deaf, so I could write what he wanted to say." Women, have you had a terrible encounter with a "nice guy"? Tell us what happened in the comments or share anonymously using this form. Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Buzz Feed
23-06-2025
- Buzz Feed
Judy Garland's Death And Ted Bundy's Last-Meal
Do you love all things weird, dark, and creepy? Subscribe to the That Got Dark newsletter to get your weekly dopamine fix of the macabre! It's a scary good time you won't want to miss. Welcome to That Got Dark! I'm Crystal, and I have a habit of going down deep and dark rabbit holes, which maybe isn't recommended for a good night's sleep, but hey, I just can't help myself! Here's the thing: I love to share all the terrible, weird, and scary things I discover. So, every week, I'll gather the darkest and creepiest things I find on the internet (and beyond) to share just with you, my spooky-loving friend. So, tuck yourself in tight and get out that flashlight…it's about to get dark. So, here's something I wish I had never learned — a teenage TikToker in Florida, known for his "high-speed" driving videos, recklessly killed six innocent people while driving 151 mph. What's even worse is the fact that he was sentenced to only 12.5 years in prison, just two years for each death. Noah Galle, who was 17 years old at the time of the crash, was driving a BMW M5 when he violently crashed into the back of an SUV carrying six farm workers. The impact forced the back of their vehicle forward several feet into the passenger compartment, killing everyone in the SUV. Galle was known on TikTok for regularly speeding and asking his followers to guess how fast he was driving. In January 2025, Galle entered a plea deal to avoid his case going to trial and received a reduced sentence of 12 years and 180 days in prison. Occasionally, I like to ask the BuzzFeed Community to tell me about the most mysterious, cult-like, bad-vibes towns in the United States they've ever been to. And you'd be shocked at how many responses I get each time (or maybe not). This week's spotlight: Island Pond, Vermont. 'My family and I visited friends there a few years ago. The town was very quiet and empty, which always creeps me out, but it wasn't that bad until we decided to go into a cafe that, I guess, was run by the same people as the Yellow Deli (which is run by the Twelve Tribes cult). The interior did not look like a cafe. It was an empty tarp-covered room, and they just had bread for sale, which the people I was with actually bought. I was so freaked out and thought they were going to get poisoned. Only one guy was working there, and he was creepy as hell and kept telling us to go to the Yellow Deli in Plymouth."—cwthree Wikipedia is like the Wild West. It's vast, lawless, and sometimes you can find some extremely weird (and horrifying) things out there. This week's spotlight: a medieval 'punishment' device called a scold's bridle. Used almost exclusively on women, this terrible mechanism was essentially an iron muzzle that went into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue, sometimes with a SPIKE, to prevent the wearer from talking. It was used to punish women whose speech or behavior was considered 'too offensive' or 'unruly' and was designed to inflict extreme pain and humiliation. You know, I would say it's hard to believe this thing was real, but then, humans (*cough cough* men) have been making diabolical devices for thousands of years, so… Judy Garland — Died: June 22, 1969, Cause of Death: Barbiturate overdose How she died: The iconic singer and movie star, who was just 47 years old at the time of her death, was found dead in her London townhouse by her fifth husband, Mickey Deans. Garland had a long history of substance abuse and struggled with addiction for much of her life, which was compounded by the pressures of fame, financial and career issues, as well as mental health challenges. Her death was ultimately ruled accidental. Companion (2025) What it's about: A weekend getaway at a remote cabin turns chaotic when one of the guests goes you should watch it: If you're in the mood for a less traditionally 'scary' horror film, Companion errs more on the side of sci-fi thriller bordering dark comedy. A good date night movie for those with a dark you can watch it: Streaming for free on Max or for rent for $5.99 on Fandango at Home. Ted Bundy Often remembered for the widespread media coverage of his trial and the self-proclaimed admiration of many women, Ted Bundy was a serial killer who kidnapped, raped, and murdered at least 30 young women and girls in the '70s. However, many believe there may have been over 100 victims. After several years in prison, Bundy was executed by electric chair in January 1989. His last meal: Bundy declined to choose, so he was given the standard last meal provided at Florida State Prison: Steak cooked medium-rare, eggs over easy, hash browns, toast with butter and jelly, milk, and juice. Well, it's another dark AF week in the books. In the next issue, I'll talk about a man who died from eating a hot fishcake (seriously!), a missing person Wikipedia page that will haunt you, and an impressive body horror film from Norway. Until then, stay safe, keep the lights on, and I'll see you for another horrifying trip down the rabbit hole… Thirsty for more? Subscribe to the That Got Dark newsletter to get a weekly post just like this delivered directly to your inbox. It's a scary good time you won't want to miss.
Yahoo
22-06-2025
- Yahoo
35 People Are Sharing The Heartbreaking Moment They Realized Something Was Very "Off" About Their Family
Recently, we wrote about the moment when people realized something was off in their family, and the BuzzFeed Community piped in with their own heartbreaking responses. Here are the stories they had to share. NOTE: There are mentions of sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse, and drug use. 1."It's outrageous to think of it now, but I remember getting in trouble for having health issues. I had epilepsy as a kid, and it was absolutely forbidden to talk about. In fact, if I had a seizure, my parents would be furious with me. When I was in junior high school, I missed several days of my medication while on vacation. I overdosed because I was afraid my parents would find the missed medication and punish me. (I obviously wasn't the brightest!) I had to go to the hospital, and I remember there was a psychiatrist consult who asked if I did it intentionally. I said, 'Of course! I obviously didn't want to be punished for having a seizure because I missed my meds.' The way that man looked at me when I said that...I realized that most kids don't get in trouble for having health conditions they can't independently control/manage." —Anonymous 2."When my friends gave me faces of shock when I told them that my father performed 'bra checks' on us by running his hands down the front of our chests when we were in middle school. Among other things, I found out we were actually being horrifically abused and neglected." —Anonymous 3."I was about nine when I was running errands with my best friend and her mom. When we passed by the jailhouse, I said, 'My daddy goes there sometimes' and laughed. She knew about our family drama and shared with me that I shouldn't tell people that my daddy was in jail. I didn't understand because my mama would tell everyone like she was telling a funny story." "As an adult, my ex was having some problems, and I had to check him into a psych ward. That night, I went to a party. When asked about him, I just said, 'Oh, he's taking a "grippy sock" holiday for a while,' and laughed. No one else laughed. I then realized that I had turned into my mother, and it hit me that family trauma isn't funny. I got help. After years of therapy and work, we are both better and thriving, BTW." —Anonymous 4."My dad and I were in a car wreck when I was about 10 or 12. This was before seat belts, and I broke my nose hitting the dashboard. My dad was fine. A friend took me home, and my dad stayed with the wrecked car. When I got home, my Mom was standing on the sidewalk waiting for me with her purse in her arm. Apparently, my dad had called her about the accident. My nose was bleeding. She took one look at me, never said a word, got in the friend's car, and left. I was alone in the house for several hours until my parents got home. They didn't even take me to a doctor." —Anonymous I was about 15, my friends and I got into a minor car accident. No one was hurt, but we all called our parents to let them know and to come pick us up. Everyone's parents greeted them by asking if they were okay. My mom didn't even greet me; she walked right past me to tell my friends' parents how much weight she'd lost recently. That was the first time I realized something was off." "What really made it stick, though, was when my mom met me at the door with a gun pointed at me because I was five minutes late for curfew." —Anonymous 6."My sister and I were thrust into a world that felt like a cruel twist of fate. Our home, a ramshackle property in the mountains, became our prison after our mom and evil stepfather claimed it as their 'free land.' At just seven years old, and on our first night on the new raw land, I was left alone with my little sister, abandoned in a place with no running water, electricity, or escape. Our parents disappeared eight miles into town, seeking solace at the local bar until the early hours of the morning, leaving us to fend for ourselves. The only shelter we had was the old truck." "Dad thought it would be 'good for us' to learn how to be on our own. As night fell, fear wrapped around us like a suffocating blanket. The howls of coyotes echoed through the still air, circling the truck. We would huddle together, tears streaming down our faces, as we stayed locked in the truck — our first night in our new home. But as the years passed, abuse and neglect became the norm. Until we started spending time with our friends' parents — that's when we realized how bad we really had it. I moved out at 18, and my sister followed suit at 17. With fierce determination, we forged our own paths, immersing ourselves in education and hard work." —Anonymous 7."When I used to leave my toddler sister with strangers at a hotel so she would be safe while I went back to the family hotel room to try to stop my stepfather from beating my mom. I begged the strangers to call the police. When the cops came, they took my stepfather away. My mom got my sister back, then got dressed to go get her husband out of jail. She left me (aged eight) in a strange hotel room with my two-year-old sister. She returned hours later with him. I realized it was up to me to keep my sister and myself safe. I couldn't count on anyone else." —Anonymous 8."I got a starring role in the first-grade Christmas play; I even had a little singing solo. My teacher asked to meet my mom after the play, and I had to tell her my family was not there. Dad really did have to work, but Mom did not work outside the home, and we lived only a few blocks from the school, so there was no reason she couldn't have been there. This was the start of a childhood filled with them not coming to events in my life." "As life played out, I could see that other families were different than mine. I made a decision fairly early in life to do the opposite of everything my parents did and see how that would turn out. I decided I would stay in school, go to college, keep a job, and have a happy family. I did it." —Anonymous 9."I realized that something was terribly wrong with our family when I began to keep a baseball bat behind my bedroom door for protection. Every Friday night, when the adults did not come home from grocery shopping right away, we knew they had stopped at the bar. We three kids always dreaded those nights because we knew there would be a screaming, hitting the glass, breaking fight when they got home. Sometimes, our stepdad would smash the TV or try to drive the car into the house through the wall. It was no surprise that none of our friends wanted to come over. The whole neighborhood knew about us." —Anonymous 10."I realized that my family wasn't normal after my dad boarded up all of the windows on the inside of the house because he had been awake for four days on crack, and my stepmom finally left him. He became convinced that I was a narc, and when I came home from ninth grade, he put a bullet in the wall next to the door I had just entered. I left home and became independent at 15." —Anonymous 11."I was preschool age. My mother often became angry and physical with me. One day, she was screaming at me and began choking me, lifting me off the floor. I vividly remember thinking, 'This time she's going to kill me.' When she stopped, I told myself that I was going to tell my dad as soon as he arrived home from work and that this time, he would have to do something about what she was doing to me. But she rushed to meet him as he came in the door before I had a chance. I saw her crying and telling my dad that she had 'over-disciplined' me. My dad did not ask any questions; he just replied, 'Don't worry about it. I'm sure she deserved it.' From then on I knew I could not count on him, and I had to be self reliant." —Anonymous 12."I was kidnapped by the sexual predator school bus driver, who drove me around for hours looking for a place he could bury my body without it being discovered. I was six. For some reason, he changed his mind and drove me home. When he dropped me off at my house, My father shoved money at him and thanked him, saying I always lied and made up stories and drama to get attention. My mom made me write him a thank you card for taking such good care of me. I had to continue taking his bus to school each day after that." —Anonymous 13."Listening at a family get-together to my dad and uncles discuss how to dispose of bodies and how to kill quickly with a knife. I was six years old. I'm almost 70 now, and I still have nightmares. Thankfully, they have all passed away." —Anonymous 14."I knew we were doomed when my adopted mom came running up the stairs at 4 a.m., screaming at us (two adopted girls, ages 7 and 9) that we had molested her, then dragged us out of bed and threw us over the banister to the tiled foyer below. I looked up at my adopted dad and sobbed, 'What's wrong with her?' He told me nothing was wrong. She'd always been like this. It did not get better. And we did NOT molest her." —Anonymous 15."When I signed myself back into high school after six months of deciding I didn't want to go. This was my first year of high school. A girl was standing next to me, and I explained to her that I had dropped out for six months. She asked me, 'Don't your parents care about you?' That still stings because it made me really question if my parents did actually care." —Anonymous 16."I was 15 and would go to my first boyfriend's house to visit. The family would laugh and joke around. I remember one of the kids tickling their dad's foot, and everyone laughed at his reaction. I came home and tried to tickle my dad's foot, and he lost it on me — screaming at me that he was my parent and not a friend. He said, 'Don't ever touch me like that again.' His reaction is something I'll never forget. My dad was addicted to alcohol and smoked weed every day, and I thought that was normal, too." —Anonymous 17."When my dad told me to pack my things to leave our family home because my mom was not 'happy' with me. I was 12 years old." —Anonymous 18."When I was about eight years old, a new family moved next door. It was a young couple with two daughters, five and three years old. I used to go over and play with their little girls all the time. The couple was very nice. Mike was a cop and was very handsome. Diane was super pretty. One day, while I was outside hanging with the girls, Diane invited me in for a snack and some lemonade. First off, my mom never offered us anything to eat ever. Then she said to hop up on the bar chair in the kitchen and just started talking to me like an adult. She started asking me questions about school and just conversing with me. It was the first time (outside of one set of grandparents) that anyone had treated me like a human being. My parents treated me like I was a disgusting, mangy street dog. They never asked me any questions growing up, like how my day was." "They never came to my school or any school event. I walked to school by myself or with a friend starting from the first day of Kindergarten—it was over a mile away. They never said a kind word to me or touched me, never said 'I love you' or hugged me. So I just thought Mike and Diane were spectacular!" —Anonymous 19."When I was a kid, they always had 'show and tell' at our school after we came back from Christmas vacation. It really sucked because I got to see all of my classmates showing off the new toys they had gotten while I had to decide if I wanted to show off the apple or orange that I had gotten; I had also gotten a handful of assorted nuts. It was always the same every year, so I started just playing hooky on that day to save myself the embarrassment." —Anonymous 20."My dad has a PhD and has always had very high academic expectations of us. My older siblings were normal students (not at the top of the class, but definitely not at the bottom), but I remember them constantly getting beaten badly for struggling with their homework or not receiving an 'A' on their tests or assignments. Since I was the youngest, they didn't want me to experience the beatings they did, so they helped me with my homework every night for as long as I can remember. I was always at the top of my class, went on to engineering school (Go Jackets!), and now have a well-paying job in NYC. Now that I have school-aged kids of my own (who are in public school), I realize how barbaric my dad treated my siblings. Public schools have so many FREE resources for kids who are falling behind or want to get ahead. I didn't even know families actually take advantage of these resources all the time and that resorting to violence is completely unnecessary." —Anonymous 21."When I was in grade school, I had a friend who was close enough to school that he would go home for lunch. He invited me, and his mom had lunch all made when I got there. It blew my mind. I remember wishing my mom would do that for me. My older sister and I would cook breakfast and make school lunches for ourselves and our siblings. My mom never got up in the morning with us. We were on our own." —Anonymous 22."I realized my mom was a bully when I attended my high school reunion, and no one remembered me, but everyone remembered my mother." —Anonymous 23."When I asked my college boyfriend if he regularly beat his sister. My brother beat me all the time, and I thought it was normal. My parents didn't make a fuss about it." —Anonymous 24."I realized something was off when I got raped during my last year of college, and no one came to check on me once I revealed what I'd been through. My mother skipped over the assault and was excited for her first grandchild as I found I was pregnant after being assaulted. My father was pissed I was pregnant and accused me of sleeping with random men. Not a single person came to see me, and when I asked my mother to keep my pregnancy a secret until I decided what I was going to do, she told my family so I couldn't even have an abortion in private if I chose to. My family essentially considered sexual assault to be the result of stupidity on the victim's part. I then had to endure months of my mother villainizing me for not going to the police after the rape. And her telling me how heroic she'd have been had it been her that got assaulted, but she was 'too smart' to let that happen to her." —Anonymous 25."I realized something was terribly wrong with my family when I was at school in about third grade playing with a girl, and we asked some other kids if we could join them while they were playing jump rope. One of the girls told my friend she could play, but I couldn't. I started to cry and asked why, and she said her mother told her she wasn't allowed to play with me because of my mother, and the others said they weren't allowed to either." "The girl lived two blocks away from my home, and I guess the whole neighborhood knew about her reputation of her yelling and screaming at us kids while using the F word plus beating on us in front of others (I was the youngest) and that I had an older unmarried sister who was pregnant (I was too young to know that at the time and it was never talked about in front of me). This was in the early 1960s; I was judged and made an outcast because of my family. I grew up very shy and felt ashamed that I wasn't good enough to be included with the other kids." —Anonymous 26."When I was in high school, my Dad would ask me to score him weed, and I was the only person in the household with a job. That lasted from age 15 until I moved out at 18." —Anonymous 27."Like a lot of abused kids, I had no idea how bad my family was until I was in first grade and started making friends and going to their homes to visit. My friends didn't have chores at age six, like doing laundry and all the housework. They didn't get yelled at or hit with belts or whatever else was handy every day. They got snacks when they got home from school, whenever they wanted, and the food and beverages weren't in a padlocked pantry and refrigerator. Their families seemed to all like each other and laugh and talk to each other." "At home, I wasn't allowed to speak except for 'yes sir' or 'yes ma'am.' The realization that other kids' parents loved them and enjoyed being around their kids made me burst into tears on the walk home from my first visit to a normal family. At six years old, I vowed when I got old enough, I would leave and never see my parents again. I graduated early from high school ten years later. I had secretly saved money from the many jobs I had been working. I moved out and never looked back. I had suffered every kind of abuse possible by then and knew if I didn't get out of there soon, I was going to be too damaged mentally to ever be a decent, normal person. I thank God that I had made friends with some normal people and got the chance to see what kind of life I wanted a chance at." —Anonymous 28."I realized in my mid-twenties that my parents were not quite normal when I got married. I was only allowed to call my parents once a day and only between certain hours. Never, ever after 9 p.m. or before 11 a.m. And certainly never at lunch or dinner time. Also, I needed an appointment to visit them. I was an only child. I realized my husband and his entire family were nothing like this. We were allowed over any time, even without calling first. We always called first. I'm in my seventies now, and they are still like this." —Anonymous 29."In my marriage, I share tales with my wife, like the time my mom got so furious that she drove her car into all the vehicles in our driveway or when she lashed out at us after we disagreed with her. I used to think my life was normal, but seeing my wife's expression suggested I might need therapy to sort through some issues." —Anonymous 30."When I got married to my partner (now of seven years) and started harboring secret envy of how her parents and sister cared for her, communicated constantly, came to visit, and bought things for us while we were stationed overseas. I would get angry that her family wanted to make sure she was okay and take it personally like they didn't trust me or thought I was a bad husband because they were just checking on their daughter/sister, even calling them overbearing and 'helicopter parents.' It really put a strain on our relationship very early. Meanwhile, I (continue to) attempt to cultivate a relationship with my mom and brothers while navigating anxiety around who needs money or is going to demean me for being relatively successful." "It wasn't until I joined the military that I realized most people don't overachieve or work hard in spite of their family but usually as a byproduct of their support. Luckily, I've been able to attend therapy and continue to seek help for what I know is a warped perception of love and caring, especially as a parent now myself." —Anonymous 31."I didn't realize it was abnormal for parents to say, 'I don't like you,' when they were mad. I grew up in a home in which my parents' love was completely conditional based on our behavior, school performance, and how we impressed the parents' friends. If we struggled in a subject in school, we were shamed. I didn't realize this wasn't normal until my then toddler was having a very public tantrum in a public place, and the words 'I don't like you right now' almost left my mouth. I took a few deep breaths, picked up my screaming son, and said, 'I understand that you're mad now, but we don't throw things or scream in the store.'" —Anonymous 32."Dating my husband made me realize how difficult my father could be. One small tease or joke and my dad would boil over, not talk to you for days, leave the house for hours, etc. However, it was perfectly fine for him and all the other adults to tease and humiliate you. My mom never did that; she knew it was wrong. Fast-forward and I started dating my husband. His family is huge; all of them joke and tease and make fun. and everyone just laughs. No one storms out, refuses to talk to you for days, or belittles you. Being around them built you up instead of breaking you down. I realized they all knew that humor was part of life and that laughing at yourself was a part of it, too. Being with him and knowing his family has definitely changed my perception of what family is. It shouldn't be that fragile." —Anonymous 33."When I went to college and discussed things with my friends. Their lives were mildly screwed up, but nothing like mine. I found out that other people had more than one bra, one pair of underwear, one pair of jeans, two blouses, two pairs of shoes, and their dad's old winter coat. None of them learned to hold their breath for two minutes because if they moved the tiniest muscle while their mom was screaming into their face, she would beat them violently, leaving handprint-shaped welts on their lower backs. None of them was treated as adults, with adult responsibilities, from eight years on, never receiving a pleasant word when those responsibilities were accomplished, but only criticism that something wasn't done to her expectations (and there was always something)." "They were not expected to —somehow — buy things they needed or were told to buy, at 14, with no transportation and no they were not beaten when these things were not purchased. Oh, and that their parents were paying for college. Yeah. College was the beginning of my new life." —Anonymous 34."I had a lot of trouble talking to people in the outside world. I remember hanging out with friends and wondering why they would say nice things to me: were they trying to get something from me? Or trying to build me up so it would hurt more when they insulted me? It took a lot of time to realize that sometimes people are nice because they like you. Essentially, my mom had taught me and my brothers a language that only her family spoke, one that was full of manipulation and lies." —Anonymous finally..."When I read the list of 37 times people knew there was something off about their families and I could identify with most of them. I am 61." —Anonymous When did you realize something about your family was "off"? Let us know in the comments or via this anonymous form. Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
