My husband asked me to change my last name to his when we got married. Years later, he apologized.
He didn't find it funny and really wanted me to take his last name.
A few years ago, he apologized for suggesting that I take his name over mine.
In the early days of our engagement, one of my favorite ways to tease my husband was to come up with new last names we could take when we got married.
I would joke that rather than taking his last name, we could both go through the identity change together. We could start fresh with something cool, something that was just ours.
But my future husband, whose extended family throws reunions that are essentially small festivals, didn't find it funny.
It wasn't that I was emotionally tied to my previous last name. Saying and spelling "Childs" for the rest of my life was just easier than "Nieslanik". Not to mention, it feels weird to think of yourself as one person with one name for so many years, only to change that. My name was a fundamental part of who I was. To change it in my mid-thirties felt strange.
Plus, there is the bureaucratic red tape that comes with changing your name. Birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and bills. Changing your name is like updating your entire identity one tedious form at a time. At the end of the day, though, I knew how much it would mean to my husband if I took his last name. And part of that was because I had already changed my name once.
My last name when I met my husband wasn't the one I was born with. Ironically, in my late teens, I'd already gone through a name change after a short-lived first marriage. My maiden name had been a mouthful that people always messed up, so adopting a simpler one was a relief. Plus, no one in my immediate family shared my last name. My mom had given me her maiden name, but she remarried and took my stepfather's last name, as did my half-brother, whom they had together. I was the only one left with a hard name no one else seemed to want.
The fact that I had changed my name before, no matter the reason, didn't sit well with my soon-to-be husband. If I had changed it before, he argued, why wouldn't I be willing to change it again? This time, for him. It felt like a personal slight, which I understood.
Beyond that, my husband comes from a large, close-knit family who do all share the same last name. Every summer, they gather in the hundreds for a family reunion and have streets named after them in towns sprinkled across the Western Slope of Colorado. As an only child, he felt we needed to carry on the name for his family branch by having me take his name.
He had a strong internal belief that members of the same family should have the same name. Although his family is relatively liberal, they shared the cultural expectation that a woman takes her husband's name when they marry. And he had some pride wrapped up in the idea that I would carry his name—that when people met us, they would know that we belonged together.
Since I had no strong objections, I did end up changing my name, and I never really looked back. I used a service that helped me change all my accounts, IDs, and paperwork in one (mostly) easy go, so the hassle was more minimal than expected.
Now, more than a decade later, I see several upsides to having changed my last name. For example, it's uncommon, so I rarely get confused with anyone else. As a writer, I find that beneficial. I like having the same last name as our children, and I'm glad I didn't have to think about whose name we should give them or if we should hyphenate. And I've realized that my last name has a lot of personality. If that means I have to spell it an extra time or two, the trade-off is now worth it in my opinion.
A few years ago, my husband apologized to me for "making" me change my name. He mentioned how silly he thought his reasonings were now, that he understood having the same last name is kind of arbitrary. He pointed out that it affects literally no part of our lives together in a substantial way. My favorite realization that he mentioned was how our love is so much greater than a shared last name. Then, he asked if I'd like to change my name back.
The thought of returning to the ease of "Childs" as a last name has its appeal, but I couldn't help but laugh. I have zero desire to go through that paperwork again. Not unless he wants to revisit that original idea of picking a brand-new name together. And he's willing to file the forms himself this time.
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CNN
44 minutes ago
- CNN
The best vacuum sealers in 2025, tested and reviewed
The best vacuum sealer we tested Best vacuum sealer: FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer VS3130 Cooking big batches of food once a week to meal prep is a popular trend, which is where kitchen appliances like the best vacuum sealers come in handy. With just a few sturdy pulses, vacuum sealers suction the air out of food- and liquid-filled bags and containers. This helps seal in freshness and can even allow you to keep expensive meat or meals like soup fresher longer by letting you freeze them after sealing. Vacuum sealing food into bags is also useful when you're doing something like sous vide cooking. While some sealers are purely handheld, others are countertop units that have a handheld option that suctions the air out through a hose attached to the main unit. For this guide, I tested a range of these styles and rounded up a product pool of five vacuum sealers to find the best. Along the way, I compared their settings, performance, value and more. In the end, one vacuum sealer stood above the rest. FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer VS3130 The FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer is my clear winner as the best vacuum sealer, mainly due to how easy and intuitive it is to use. It also suctioned air quickly and more effectively than any others in my product pool. Its small footprint was a plus as well. As soon as I unboxed this FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer, I immediately noticed how little space it took up on my kitchen counter. I know this sounds like a trivial feature, but the same cannot be said of almost any other sealer I tested. I can easily move this unit around wherever I need it, and that's something I had a hard time doing with most other sealers due to their heavy weight. The FoodSaver is also intuitive to use, requiring just a few button presses to operate. The control panel is clearly laid out, too, so there should be no difficulties operating it, whether you've used a vacuum sealer before or not. It's this kind of simplicity that allowed it to best the rest of the testing field. Aside from the unit itself, this vacuum sealer comes with a few of its own bags and a roll of plastic that the unit can easily turn into bags of any size you need. It also features built-in storage and a cutter for bag rolls inside its chamber. I appreciate that it comes with all this, as you're able to quite literally use the sealer within minutes of unpacking it. Performance-wise, the FoodSaver sealed quickly and efficiently each time I used it. It worked fast to seal my bags of vegetables and cut-up fruit, and it didn't matter if I was using it to seal just one bag or if I threw bag after bag at it. It was reliable and quick every time. I also like that the unit is solidly built and that it sits sturdily on the kitchen counter when in use. None of its parts feel flimsy, either, and it looks anything but cheap. You can tell the brand used quality materials throughout this machine (including the bags). Overall, I was extremely pleased with how well the FoodSaver sealer worked, and although it's more expensive than others I tested, I think it's worth the spend. You'll enjoy savings right away from being able to meal prep and preserve food, and you can buy in bulk and vacuum seal your food in individual servings by using the included roll of plastic. To compile my testing pool, I leaned on my own kitchen appliance expertise and also searched the web for the most popular and highest-rated vacuum sealers, ultimately choosing five to test. Each sealer was tested five times, using the same types of assorted cut-up or fresh vegetables with each sealer. I evaluated each on the following criteria, including ease of setup and use, performance, durability, weight and footprint and overall aesthetics. See below for more details. Ease of setup and use Unboxing: I noted how well the sealer was packaged and what other bags, tubing or rolls of plastic the sealer came with. Ease of use: I judged each sealer on how intuitive it was to use and whether I needed to consult the user manual to figure it out or not. Performance Speed: I timed each sealer on how fast it could vacuum seal one bag of vegetables, giving extra credit to the machines that made a quality seal the fastest. Effectiveness: Just as important as speed, I noted how effective each machine was at doing its job and whether it created and sealed bags well during each use. Durability Build: I noted each sealer's build and whether it felt flimsy in my hands or if it was solid and sturdy while on and off. Craftsmanship: I considered the quality of the materials used in each sealer and its included bags and containers. Weight and footprint Portability: Each unit was judged on how portable and lightweight it was and how easy it was to move around the kitchen counter. Footprint: I noted how much space each sealer took up on the counter during use and after I stored it away. Overall aesthetic Beauty: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so this can be subjective, but I still judged each vacuum sealer on its overall attractiveness. Considerations: Would I want this vacuum sealer sitting on my kitchen counter? Do I think this sealer looks classy and elegant, or does it look cheap and plasticky? Overall value Price: To accurately judge the vacuum sealer's value, I factored in the overall money saved by first investing in the maker versus how much money can be saved over the long run by avoiding multiple trips to the grocery store or needing to throw out expired food that you couldn't eat before it went bad. Vacuum sealers help your food last longer by letting you portion out food in bags or containers and removing the air around the food. Then you can store it in the pantry, fridge or freezer. There are five considerations to keep in mind when deciding on which vacuum sealer to choose: whether you want to shop in bulk, meal prep for the week or month, save on storage space inside your home, save the fruits of your home gardening labor or try sous vide cooking. Bulk shopping Do you shop in bulk and buy large portions of meat or fish that you want to freeze for later? If so, you're going to want to choose a vacuum sealer that can turn rolls into new bags. That way, you can create different-sized bags to fit all the different cuts of meat and fish in each bag. The pre-sized bags that some vacuum sealers use might not work in this case, since the cuts of meat or fish might be too long to fit in the bag. Even if you don't buy meat and instead buy a large amount of fruits and vegetables or other foods, bulk shopping can help you save money by letting you bring home the foods, take them out of their original packaging, and vacuum-seal them into bags or containers when you get home. So, if you're a vegan or vegetarian, think about choosing a vacuum sealer that can use both rolls and bags so that you can portion out anything you buy in bulk to use in small quantities later. Meal prepping Do you want to meal prep by slicing and dicing your vegetables into bags and storing them in the fridge for easy grabbing throughout the week, either at snack time or as you're making dinner? Or do you want to prepare meals in advance by cooking once a week, say, on a weekend day, and then making and storing your meals for the week in the fridge or freezer? A vacuum sealer can help you seal up your prepared ingredients, or entire homemade meals like stews and soups, for example, into containers or bags. Your ingredients or meals stay fresher, longer, either in the fridge or freezer, and if you use a vacuum sealer that has a roll, you can keep reusing the same bag you originally made (by opening and resealing the bag again), which can help you use your prep more efficiently. Storage space Do you have limited food storage space in your kitchen? If so, you might want to choose a vacuum sealer that can suck the air out of containers using a handheld device attached to a hose. That way, you can organize your storage space more efficiently by vacuum sealing the air out of dry beans, for example, or from sugar or flour. The containers can stack on one another and let you fit more into your space, whether that's in your pantry, fridge or freezer. If your goal is to save space in your fridge or freezer by buying or making liquid foods like soups and stews, then you should choose a vacuum sealer that also uses premade bags. This way, you can fill a bag up, vacuum seal it shut (using the handheld device attached to a hose), lay the bag flat, and store the flattened bags on top of each other in the fridge or freezer. Home gardening Do you grow a garden and want to preserve your vegetables and fruits longer? If so, then you're going to want to choose a vacuum sealer that you can use with bags. You can slice up your strawberries or tomatoes for use later and the same goes for apples and pears. The vacuum sealer can suck the air out of these moist foods. You don't even need to be planning on cutting up your homegrown veggies and fruits. You can store entire peppers or string beans and similar foods in a vacuum-sealed bag to enjoy later. You'll be saving money in two ways: avoiding the grocery aisle in your overpriced supermarket and saving the homegrown foods you harvest yourself for a longer time, avoiding spoilage and rot. Sous vide cooking Are you a home chef who wants to try sous vide cooking? In this style of cooking, you place a piece of meat, chicken or fish inside a bag, add a marinade and other spices and additions to the bag, and then vacuum seal the air from the bag. You then cook it in a water bath. The vacuum-sealed ingredients seep into the nooks and crannies of your meat, chicken or fish as the bag cooks in the water, infusing flavors into the meat. If this sounds like something you'd want to try, then you should choose a vacuum sealer that can handle vacuum sealing bags and comes with its own bags. There are plenty of recipes that use sous vide cooking, and a vacuum sealer is one of the kitchen appliances that go hand in hand with this style of cooking. FoodSaver Handheld 2-in-1 Vacuum Sealer This FoodSaver model has a convenient handheld unit that detaches from the main body and is cordless and rechargeable. This model is powerful and gets the job done, but I prefer the control panel and interface of the winner, the FoodSaver VS3130. Still, if you want a FoodSaver and want to spend a bit less for it than for our winner, you can't go wrong with this model. The FoodSaver Handheld 2-in-1 Vacuum Sealer features three sealing modes: vacuum+seal, seal and marinate. Besides its main body, this FoodSaver model has a handheld unit that feels very similar in my hand to Zwilling's handheld vacuum sealing pump, seeing as it's small and easy to use. I like that it detaches from the main unit's body and is cordless, so I can use it anywhere without needing to stay near the main unit. It can seal up to 35 quart-sized bags before its battery needs recharging, which it does when placed back onto the main unit. This model is compatible with all FoodSaver bags, rolls and accessories. I like that it is lightweight, but the reason it didn't win the top spot is that I like the FoodSaver 3130's control panel and interface better. Nesco Deluxe Vacuum Sealer VS-12 For about half the price of my winner, the Nesco vacuum sealer can vacuum seal comparatively as well as the FoodSaver VS3130, albeit a bit slower. I liked that I could use any brand of vacuum sealer bags with the Nesco. Of all the vacuum sealers I tested, the Nesco Deluxe Vacuum Sealer VS-12 is the most similar in its design to my winning pick, the FoodSaver Vacuum Sealer VS3130. Both are units that can be easily carried and placed anywhere on the kitchen counter. Both can create and seal new bags from a roll placed in their inner chamber and both feature built-in storage and a cutter for bag rolls. They also function quite similarly, though the FoodSaver vacuum sealed a bit faster for me than the Nesco did. Whereas the FoodSaver VS3130 costs around $300, the Nesco vacuum sealer can be found for about $150 less. Another plus is that the Nesco sealer is compatible with any brand of vacuum sealer bags. Weston Pro 2300 Stainless Steel Vacuum Sealer This vacuum sealer from Weston is a powerhouse and can easily seal bag after bag of food at a time. Its price tag is high, but it's worth it over the long run, especially if you buy meat, chicken or fish in bulk and want to freeze it. I didn't name this sealer the winner due to its large footprint and heavy weight. Weston's vacuum sealer is powerful. Its 16-inch-wide seal bar can fit a variety of foods and has no problem sealing bag after bag in one sitting. It was one of the more expensive machines in my testing pool, but that initial investment can truly pay for itself over the long run. If you buy meat, chicken or fish in bulk and want to freeze it, this machine is your go-to for sealing those foods up to keep them fresh. This machine isn't going anywhere, literally, as it has stayed put on my counter since it was so heavy. But its heft is both a blessing and a curse; after my vacuum sealing was done, I gladly put it away in my lower cabinet. It is just too big to keep stored on my kitchen counter or even on my kitchen's baker's rack. I didn't name this sealer the winner since it's so heavy and requires ample kitchen counter space. You should instead go with our winner, the FoodSaver VS3130, to enjoy vacuum sealing that is just as good, for less money. Zwilling Fresh & Save 7-Piece Glass Starter Set The handheld vacuum sealer included in this set from Zwilling is simple and fun to use to seal up either bags or glass containers of food. I liked that it's rechargeable, portable and conveniently stores away in a kitchen drawer within easy reach. However, the set isn't my winner because it doesn't use rolls so you cannot use it to create bags in the size you might desire. This simple starter set from Zwilling includes a handheld vacuum sealing pump that is 7 inches long by 1 inch wide. It also includes one large freezable and microwavable vacuum container plus four reusable, heat-resistant and freezable vacuum bags. I was able to easily dock the vacuum pump onto the container's valve or onto one of the bags' valves and extract all the air from either in about 10 seconds. The handheld pump stops automatically once a sufficient vacuum has been reached. I like that the handheld unit is compact, quiet and rechargeable via the included USB cable. Unlike the hefty Weston Pro sealer I tested, this Zwilling one is extremely portable and can be taken anywhere. That said, this set only uses pre-existing Zwilling bags and containers, unlike the rolls other sealers can use, and thus, it cannot create new bags in sizes you may need. How long does vacuum-sealed raw beef last? How long does vacuum-sealed raw beef last? Vacuum-sealed raw beef can last one to two weeks in the refrigerator, but you can keep vacuum-sealed raw beef in the freezer for up to two to three years. Can I vacuum seal bread? Can I vacuum seal bread? Yes, you can vacuum seal bread since it helps it stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing removes the air from the packaging; this airtight environment helps prevent mold development. How do I vacuum seal liquids? How do I vacuum seal liquids? You can vacuum seal liquids such as soups and stews by filling a vacuum sealer's bag with the liquid, inserting the top of the bag into the sealer and suctioning out the extra air and sealing the bag. You can then stack these bags flat in your fridge or freezer for later use. CNN Underscored editors thoroughly test all the products we cover and provide full transparency about how we test them. We have an experienced team of writers and editors with many years of testing experience who ensure each article is carefully edited and products are properly vetted. We talk to top experts when it makes sense to ensure we are testing each product accurately and speaking about the pros and cons of each. Testing editor Suzanne Kattau has decades of experience testing home, kitchen and hardware items for CNN Underscored and other outlets. Kattau has also tested some of the best cordless stick vacuums for us as well as the best dehumidifiers, the best robot mops, the best leaf blowers, the best mattresses for side sleepers and the best nonstick pans. For this guide, Kattau vacuum sealed a variety of foods using each of the five vacuum sealers, noting how easy the process was and how well each sealer vacuum sealed the food.
Associated Press
44 minutes ago
- Associated Press
Massachusetts assisted-living blaze kills a musician, secretary, and veteran Army sharpshooter
FALL RIVER, Mass. (AP) — Gabriel House had seen better days. The 100-unit assisted-living facility that burned Sunday night, killing nine people so far, opened in 1999. Some photos on its Facebook page show neat rooms but older-looking carpeting and furniture. Her granddaughter didn't like the assisted-living center, but 86-year-old Eleanor Willett wanted something that left her money to play the slots at a casino. She earned too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to afford a higher-priced assisted-living facility, Holly Mallowes told The Associated Press Tuesday. 'She said, 'I don't need much, but a roof over my head and someplace to put my sewing machine,'' Mallowes said. Willett was the oldest to die. Here's what we know so far about the victims. Eleanor Willett A Massachusetts native, Willett spent more than 20 years as a secretary and even worked briefly as a cocktail waitress, her granddaughter said. Her home was always a base for everyone in her family, Mallowes said. 'My mom worked a lot and Grammy's was always a place we called home,' said Mallowes, 45. 'We lived with her often. She was very strong. She outlived two husbands and raised five children. She was absolutely a joy.' Mallowes, a paralegal who lives in Dartmouth, described her grandmother as 'very religious' and a 'devout Catholic.' 'She wanted to be somewhat independent,' Mallowes said of Willett's decision to move to Gabriel House in Fall River, about 50 miles (80 kilometers) south of Boston. 'To leave her home alone all day, I was to afraid something might happen.' 'As our grandparents and parents get older, we say 'I'll make it to go see them a different day' and you always put it off,' Mallowes said. 'See them while you can. Tomorrow is not promised.' Kim Mackin Makin, 71, was a violist who performed in Boston area orchestras, according to her nephew, Austin Mackin. She was described in a statement from family members as 'gifted beyond words.' 'We will all miss Kimmy,' the statement read. 'Beyond being exceptionally kind, few knew that she was a brilliant musician.' Kim Mackin received a full scholarship to the Manhattan School of Music and after graduating, toured the world as first chair viola. Richard Rochon Breonna Cestodio described her 78-year-old uncle, Rochon, as 'a very quiet guy,' yet a 'great guy.' 'He kept to himself,' she told reporters. 'He was a sharpshooter in the Army. He loved getting visits from all of his nieces and nephews.' Rochon moved into Gabriel House about a year ago. Cestodio had little good to say about the facility, remarking that it always seemed hot inside the building. 'Every time you visited him, he was sweating,' she said. 'No air in the building. I never saw any workers, except in one closed-off section. I never saw any workers.'
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Submarine USS Connecticut Severely Damaged In Pacific Crash To Return To Service In 2026
The USS Connecticut, one of the U.S. Navy's prized Seawolf class nuclear attack submarines, is set to finally return to service late next year. The Navy previously indicated it could rejoin the fleet this fall. Connecticut is currently at the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard in Washington State for repairs and other work after suffering major damage, particularly to its bow, from a collision with an underwater seamount in the South China Sea in 2021. USS Connecticut hit the seamount in October 2021, and limped first to Guam, and then to San Diego in southern California, before making its way north to the Puget Sound area. A subsequent Navy investigation into the incident highlighted a weak command environment and lax attitudes toward the performance of key tasks as putting the submarine on a path to the accident, which you can read about in more detail here. The submarine's Commanding Officer Cmdr. Cameron Aljilani, Executive Officer Lt. Cmdr. Patrick Cashin, and Chief of the Boat Master Chief Sonar Technician Cory Rodgers were relieved of duty following the mishap. 'USS Connecticut (SSN 22) is in Dry Dock at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard & Intermediate Maintenance Facility (PSNS & IMF) in Bremerton, Washington, undergoing an Extended Docking Selected Restricted Availability (EDSRA), which is a major maintenance availability that all submarines undergo during their maintenance life cycle,' a Navy spokesperson told TWZ last week. 'The damage USS Connecticut sustained in October 2021 is also being repaired during this EDSRA. Connecticut is expected to return to service in late 2026. PSNS & IMF and Naval Sea Systems Command are continuing to prioritize investments in materiel, infrastructure, and personnel to meet the needs of the fleet.' The EDSRA formally began in February 2023. The following month, the Navy told Naval News that the availability was 'notionally sized at 31 months duration,' which would have had Connecticut returning to service in September 2025. The estimated cost of the repairs is unknown. Congress approved an initial trench of $40 million for 'emergency repairs' and an additional $10 million for a new bow dome in 2021, but this is just a small part of the full expected price tag. Why the repairs are taking longer than initially expected is unclear. As TWZ wrote back in 2023 after the Navy released pictures of Connecticut docking at the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard: 'As for the USS Connecticut, as the images show, her state remains relatively the same, at least in terms of what is visible, compared to when she arrived over a year and a half ago. Her sonar dome is still missing and, clearly, the boat has been idle for some time, with huge sections of its anechoic coating missing from its sail.' 'Major repairs to the submarine's bow, sonar, and other underside structure components will be challenging as the Seawolf class is long out of production. On top of that, just three boats were ever built, with one being a heavily modified sub-type in its own right, the highly secretive USS Jimmy Carter (SSN-23). In the past, similar damage has been fixed by leveraging spare parts and entire sections of decommissioned submarines of the same class. That simply is not an option in this case.' The small size of the Seawolf class fleet is a byproduct of post-Cold War U.S. defense spending drawdowns. The truncated purchase plan made each one extremely expensive – approximately $3.1 billion apiece in 1983, or nearly $9.4 billion in 2025 dollars – and they remain the most costly attack submarines ever built. Given the advanced capabilities the boats offer, the Navy utilizes them for a variety of specialized tasks, for which they are in very high demand. The aforementioned USS Jimmy Carter is a distinct subtype of the design further optimized for underwater espionage missions, and features a 100-foot-long Multi-Mission Platform (MMP) hull extension, which you can read more about here. The Navy highlighted the challenges of sustaining the class in its 2025 Fiscal Year budget request, in which it asked for an unspecified amount of funding to purchase a spare Seawolf bow dome to hedge against an incident like this happening again in the future. 'The Seawolf Class submarines sustainment strategy did not include the provisioning of replacement bow domes; therefore, no replacement bow domes for these in-service submarines are within the Navy's inventory,' the budget documents explained. 'This program would procure one Seawolf Class bow dome for use in the event replacement is required. Funds in FY25 are to purchase a bow dome which has a three plus year lead time.' With the EDRSA, the Navy is also taking the opportunity to conduct a deep overhaul of USS Connecticut, which could include the integration of various upgrades. The Navy's 2026 Fiscal Year budget request puts additional emphasis on getting Connecticut finished before the end of next year. USS Seawolf is due to start its own lengthy maintenance availability at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard next April and is scheduled to then return to service in June 2029, according to the budget documents. For at least a time, the Navy now looks set to have just one Seawolf class submarine, the USS Jimmy Carter, operational. It is worth noting here that the Navy continues to struggle with completing major maintenance availabilities for submarines and surface warships on time, despite efforts to reverse that trend, in large part due to shipyard capacity and related workforce issues. This reflects a broader and ever-more worrisome disparity between the United States and its chief global competitor, China, when it comes to naval shipbuilding. The Navy's work toward a next-generation nuclear attack submarine, or SSN(X), underway since at least 2018 and seen in part as a successor to the Seawolf class, has also been pushed back. The service announced last year that the expected timetable for the start of production of those new boats had shifted to the right from the mid-to-late 2030s to the early 2040s. That schedule remains unchanged in the Navy's 2026 Fiscal Year budget request, which is seeking nearly $623 million in additional funding for the SSN(X) program. All of this further stresses the importance of getting Connecticut back in service regardless of the costs involved, and doing so as quickly as possible. If the current schedule holds, the submarine will be back in service roughly five years after the collision in the Pacific. Contact the author: joe@
