Wanted: more empathy as federal cuts threaten safety nets for the poor
For one thing, it becomes something special when it is run by your seven-year-old granddaughters…with assistance from two of their best buddies and, of course, a hefty lift from their mom and dad.
It gets even more noteworthy when it's featured on the Yorkville Police Department's Facebook page, which gave the girls' enterprise a '10 out of 10' for decorations and attitude, also ranking the 'excellently refreshing lemonade and drive-in-drive-out access as superb.'
Even more impressive: Their few hours peddling regular and pink lemonade in the hot sun brought in well over $300 …much of which came from generous 'tips' that far exceeded the dollar-a-glass-price.
Among those giving patrons: the immigrant owner of a construction company working in their subdivision who recalled how at age seven in his native Mexico he began selling candy at school – then later his grandmother's home-baked goods – which fueled his eventual entrepreneurship here in this country.
Who knows. Perhaps last weekend's successful concession business (homemade cookies and snack bags were also for sale) will spark an entrepreneurial passion in one of the little girls.
What I loved most about this mid-summer project, however, was that all proceeds from the lemonade stand were delivered to Hesed House on Wednesday, an idea that came from the twins after learning more about the homeless shelter in Aurora.
Which would make proud any parent or grandparent who knows it's never too early to help kids understand there are so many people out there far less fortunate than they are.
It's hardly breaking news that social workers are concerned about the rising rates of homelessness locally and across the nation. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, over the last eight years, there has been a 40% increase in the number of unhoused Americans; with 2024's rate the highest since since the US. Department of Housing and Urban Development began keeping statistics nearly 20 years ago.
At Hesed House in Aurora there are currently 280 adults in the shelter, another 59 in the family shelter, with 120 more living in off-site locations. But those numbers are a 'drop in the bucket' compared to what we will see in the future with federal government changes that greatly impact the poor, said Joe Jackson, executive director of the homeless facility.
He's especially concerned about how this administration's so-called 'Big Beautiful Bill' will impact 'permanent supportive housing,' which is intended for those with disabilities. Hesed House has 100 men, women and children who are benefiting from this help but there are, he said, 'tens of thousands across the state.'
In a best-case scenario, Jackson said, 'if the funding for this program gets cut 50-60% and is left up to states' to figure out how to distribute it, 'Hesed House will fall under a grant for emergency solutions. And that means it can't be used for permanent supportive housing,' which he notes, 'has been scientifically proven as best practice for ending homelessness' because it is not only more dignified housing but is cheaper than shelters.
Jackson's most immediate short-term concern is cuts to Medicaid; not just for people Hesed House serves but from partner agencies like the Association for Individual Development, which gets 80% of its funding from Medicaid.
And Hesed House, he told me, 'does not exist without AID,' which is connected to so many of the homeless shelter's services, including on-site mental and behavioral health counseling and street outreach.
'I don't mean to be a doomsday predictor,' Jackson said. 'But if things go through as is currently set up, we will see record numbers of homelessness … it will not just overwhelm the homeless system. It will collapse.'
Lore Baker, executive director of AID, is equally concerned. For one thing, the agency that serves those with developmental, intellectual, physical and/or mental health challenges and covers Kane, Kendall, DeKalb, McHenry, northern Cook, western DuPage and parts of Will counties, relies on SNAP benefits to feed residents in its group homes.
And she worries that changes to this program, as well as Medicaid, will involve an insurmountable volume of red tape as these individuals try to traverse a complicated processing system that can be intimidating even to those without disabilities.
Both executive directors bristle at the notion too many are taking advantage of welfare programs. If you look at Medicaid fraud, for example, 'the vast majority are from fraudulent billers,' not the patients, said Baker.
And how often do you hear 'these people just need to get a job,' said Jackson, adding that 80% of Hesed House residents work but don't make enough money to afford a home, along with food, utilities and other expenses.
He also pointed out that the number of calls to the shelter's Homeless Prevention Program, which is set up to keep people from losing the roofs over their heads, 'is beyond anything we've seen in the past.'
From 2022 to the present, there have been 2,292 instances of people being able to stay in their homes.. And all these cases are 'people who live locally, our neighbors, with plenty working multiple jobs just to keep the lights on,' Jackson said.
'Without this type of program, they would already be on the streets or in shelters.'
On that same topic, Baker points out that people on social security disability receive $997 a month, which would not begin to cover most rent these days.
'I've worked in this business for 30-plus years and have never seen anything like the way HUD has raised its fair market rent,' she said, referring to the 40% increase a couple years ago, following by the more recent 20% uptick.
'It is a basic misunderstanding of the way the world works from those who do not have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck,' insisted Baker. 'There is a vindictiveness and unkindness that is not warranted. Even able-bodied people are working their buns off to be able to survive.'
Lazarus House Executive Director Kristi Athas, noting there are 'few entry level jobs out there right now for our guests' has 'yet to meet someone working the system.' And she invites anyone who believes differently to take a tour of the St. Charles shelter she leads.
'I promise you will see people who look like you and me; working at your bike store or bagging your groceries … ,' she said. 'It doesn't matter who you are. When you see a mother and child being homeless, how can that not impact you and push us all to do better?'
There's no question it's also been a challenging time for social workers in the trenches. Baker admits she's shed plenty of tears in recent months, 'and I'm not a crier.'
What's referred to as 'compassion fatigue' is a real thing, with nonprofits under tremendous pressure to deal with the surge in need. Unfortunately, 'based on what we're seeing' at Hesed House, said Jackson, 'faith organizations are also stretched to capacity … there is only so much water you can wring out of a towel.'
Athas sees the breaking point as well. 'All the points in the system are being pinched,' she said. 'We are all pulling every lever we have; but there is only a finite amount of levers we can pull.'
All of which brings us back to the need for more empathy. It's a characteristic that can't be instilled too early, agrees Athas, who sees youngsters once or twice a week show up at Lazarus House with sandwiches for residents; and Jackson, who is encouraged when children raise money for the Aurora shelter.
Whether it's a neighborhood lemonade stand or a Scouting project or individual kids donating their birthday money, the payout far exceeds the dollar amount, he said.
It's not only 'teaching empathy toward others,' it is showing those who are homeless 'there are people who really do care.'
It 'means the world to them,' Jackson concluded; then added a sentence I've heard him say frequently and with conviction. 'It gives them hope for a better tomorrow.'
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Atlantic
3 hours ago
- Atlantic
Are We Witnessing a Marriage Comeback?
'There is zero statistical advantage' to getting married if you are a man in America today, Andrew Tate argued in a viral 2022 video on 'why modern men don't want marriage.' Women, he believes, are worthless anchors—'They want you monogamous so that your testosterone level drops,' he posted on X last fall—and your marriage is likely to end in ruin anyway. 'If you use your mind, if you use your head instead of your heart, and you look at the advantages to getting married,' there are none. The loudest voice in the manosphere is infamous for many things, including criminal charges of human trafficking, rape, and assault. (Tate has denied these charges.) But he is also notorious for launching a new front in the culture wars over marriage, aimed mostly at teenage boys and young men. Tate believes that men no longer receive the deference they deserve from women in marriage, and bear more risk in divorce. He argues that men should focus on getting strong, making lots of money, and using—but not investing themselves in—the opposite sex. His evident appeal—clips of Tate garner hundreds of millions of impressions on YouTube and TikTok—would seem to be yet one more sign that our oldest social institution is in trouble. Brad Wilcox: The awfulness of elite hypocrisy on marriage Critics on the left have been questioning the value of the institution for much longer, albeit from a different angle and with less venom than Tate. The realities of marriage in recent decades no doubt provide fuel for several varieties of criticism. Before divorce became widely permissible in the 1970s, difficult marriages—and even dangerous ones, for women—were by no means rare. Many women's career dreams were thwarted by the demands of marriage, and some still are today. Many men have been hit hard financially and sidelined from their children's lives by divorce. Innumerable children of divorce have had their faith in marriage extinguished by their parents' inability to get along (a pattern that may help explain Tate's animus toward the institution; his parents divorced when he was a child). Some of these dynamics are both a cause and a consequence of the great family revolution of the late 20th century—one in which divorce and single parenthood surged. The share of prime-age adults (25 to 55) who were married fell from 83 percent in 1960 to 57 percent in 2010, according to census data, and the share of children born to unmarried parents rose from 5 to 41 percent. These trends have left Americans bearish about marriage. Until 2022, the share of prime-age adults who were married was still on a long, slow downward march. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, a plurality of men and women were 'pessimistic about the institution of marriage and the family.' From the October 1997 issue: Can the government prevent divorce? But reports of marriage's demise are exaggerated. Rather quietly, the post-'60s family revolution appears to have ended. Divorce is down and the share of children in two-parent families is up. Marriage as a social institution is showing new strength—even among groups that drifted away from the institution in the 20th century, including Black and working-class Americans. And contrary to criticisms on the left and right, that's good news not only for America's kids, but also—on average, though not always—for married men and women today. 'If the ongoing revolution in family and gender arrangements is largely irreversible,' the progressive family historian Stephanie Coontz said in an address to the National Council on Family Relations in 2013, 'then we have to recognize divorced families, single-parent families, and married-couple families are all here to stay.' At the time of her talk, the divorce rate was about twice as high as it had been in 1960, though it had come down somewhat from its 1981 peak. Nonmarital childbearing, meanwhile, had recently climbed to a record high. But even as Coontz spoke, two important shifts in family dynamics were under way. First, the decline in the divorce rate was accelerating. Since the early 1980s, the divorce rate has now fallen by almost 40 percent—and about half of that decline has happened in just the past 15 years. (Unless otherwise noted, all figures in this article are the result of my analysis of national data.) The idea that marriage will end in failure half the time or more—well entrenched in many American minds—is out-of-date. The proportion of first marriages expected to end in divorce has fallen to about 40 percent in recent years. Second, nonmarital childbearing, after almost half a century of increase, stalled out in 2009 at 41 percent, ticking down to about 40 percent a few years later, where it has remained. For children, less divorce and a small decline in childbearing outside wedlock mean more stability. After falling for more than 40 years beginning in the late 1960s, the share of children living in married families bottomed out at 64 percent in 2012 before rising to 66 percent in 2024, according to the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey. And the share of children raised in an intact married family for the duration of their childhood has climbed from a low point of 52 percent in 2014 to 54 percent in 2024. A third shift may now be under way as well, although it is much less established than the first two. The rate of new marriages among prime-age adults, which hit a nadir during the pandemic, has risen in each of the three years of data since 2020. In 2023, the most recent year available, it was higher than in any year since 2008. At least some of this increase is a post-pandemic bounce, but the share of all prime-age adults who are married has also leveled off in the past few years, which suggests that the decades-long decline in the proportion of Americans who are married may have reached its low point. Listen: The new divide in American marriage Some of these shifts are modest. Coontz was surely right that couples and families in the U.S. will continue to live in a variety of arrangements. And particular caution is warranted as to the number of new marriages—it is quite possible that the longer trend toward fewer people marrying will reassert itself. But as a likely success story for those who do wed, and as an anchor for American family life, marriage looks like it's coming back. Stable marriage is a norm again, and the way that most people rear the rising generation. The Harvard anthropologist Joseph Henrich has observed that 'marriage represents the keystone institution for most—though not all—societies and may be the most primeval of human institutions.' On every continent and in every era, in more patriarchal societies and more egalitarian ones, it has governed family relationships. As an institution, it seems to build on the 'evolutionary psychology of both men and women,' writes Nicholas Christakis, a sociologist at Yale, which 'is to exchange love for support.' The institution's record contains no shortage of injustices. In many times and places, marriage has been bound up with the oppression of women. (This article focuses mostly on heterosexual marriages, because marriage was not legal for same-sex couples until very recently.) Still, given the long history of marriage's persistence, its recent resilience in the U.S. should not be shocking. Nor should the reasons for that resilience. As it has before, marriage in the U.S. is adapting to changing circumstances and expectations. It is different now from the institution that looked so troubled in the late 1960s and the '70s. One notable example is family care. Most marriages in the United States today are not throwbacks to the '50s when it comes to domestic responsibilities; husbands are more willing to lean in. The amount of time that American fathers spend on child care increased from 2.5 hours a week in 1965 to nine hours in 2024, according to Pew and the American Time Use Survey. Over this same period, the share of time spent on child care by dads rose from 25 to 62 percent of what moms provided. Indeed, one reason the United States' birth rate may be higher than those of East Asian countries such as Japan and South Korea—where the fertility rate has fallen to 1.15 and 0.75 babies per woman, respectively, well below the U.S. rate of 1.6—is that men in those countries do much less child care and household labor than men in the U.S. Even as women around the world embrace the 'egalitarian frontier,' in the words of the social scientist Alice Evans, men in some cultures have maintained their old habits. 'As a result,' Evans writes, 'the sexes drift apart.' This may help explain why South Korea has seen marriages tank and its fertility rate fall to the lowest in the world. There is no single model for a good marriage in the U.S. today, and most couples have their struggles. Men still do less child care and housework, and disagreements over the division of household labor are a source of tension for some couples. Many women still value some traditional traits in men, such as breadwinning, and some men's unreliability as breadwinners is a source of strain for them and their wives. A 2016 study on divorce published in the American Sociological Review found that when a husband was not employed full-time, his risk of divorce shot up by 33 percent the following year; when a wife was unemployed, her odds of divorce did not change. Employment difficulties among less-educated men are a big reason marriage rates are lower among the working class than among college graduates. Olga Khazan: Why it's so hard to get so many men to do more housework But on the whole, marriage confers benefits to women and men alike. According to the 2024 General Social Survey, married men and women ages 25 to 55 are more than twice as likely to be 'very happy' with their life as their nonmarried peers. Married people—men and women both—live longer, are more financially secure, and build more wealth than single Americans. In 2022, I worked with YouGov to survey some 2,000 married men and women, asking about their overall marital happiness and how they'd rate their spouse on a range of indicators. The happiest wives in the survey were those who gave their husbands good marks for fairness in the marriage, being attentive to them, providing, and being protective (that is, making them feel safe, physically and otherwise). Specifically, 81 percent of wives age 55 or younger who gave their husbands high marks on at least three of these qualities were very happily married, compared with just 25 percent of wives who gave them high marks on two or fewer. And, in part because most wives were reasonably happy with the job their husband was doing on at least three out of four of these fronts, most wives were very happy with their husband, according to our survey. In fact, we found that more than two-thirds of wives in this age group—and husbands, too—were very happy with their marriage overall. I believe it's important for teen boys and young men to hear the entirety of this message. Marriage changes men, but not in the nefarious ways Andrew Tate might think. Men work harder and find more success at work after they get married; they drink less as well. And marriage can channel noble characteristics and behaviors that have classically been identified with masculinity: protection, provision, ambition, stoicism. That's good for both men and women—and can help young men identify and work toward a model of prosocial masculinity that diverges from the one being peddled by manosphere influencers such as Tate. Marriage's comeback is good news for society: Children raised in two-parent homes are much more likely to graduate from college than those raised in other families, and less likely to be incarcerated. Kids who don't live with both of their married parents are far more likely to be depressed than those raised in intact families. 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A majority of college-educated Americans ages 25 to 55 (62 percent) are married, versus a minority of less-educated Americans (49 percent), according to the 2023 American Community Survey. This bifurcation did not exist half a century ago and is one reason marriages are more durable today: Money makes everything easier. The plight of working-class men in the labor force is worth underlining here. Among prime-age men, the less educated are nearly twice as likely not to be employed full-time as those with a college degree. And as working-class men's connection to the labor force has frayed, so too has their connection to the ties that bind. If, as a society, we want more adults to see their way into a lasting and happy marriage, then we would do well to focus on helping these men find their way to good jobs first. But the idea that successful marriages are attainable only by certain groups today is misguided. Since 2012, divorce rates have been falling for working-class Americans and Black Americans, too—and the share of kids being raised in married families for these two groups has stabilized. (In fact, the proportion of Black children being raised in a married-parent family rose from 33 percent in 2012 to 39 percent in 2024.) And across both class and racial lines, marriage is linked to greater happiness, household earnings, and wealth for women and men. Derek Thompson: America's 'marriage material' shortage In the past, American society has readily advocated for behaviors that can improve lives and reduce social problems—campaigns against smoking and teen pregnancy are two examples. We should at a minimum strive to ensure that young people have an accurate understanding of marriage today, not one that's outdated—and certainly not one supplied by cranks and zealots. Marriage is not for everyone—of course it isn't. But men and women who are flying solo—without a spouse—typically report their lives to be less meaningful and more lonely. The share of unmarried men ages 25 to 55 who say they are unhappy in the General Social Survey more than doubled from the late 1990s to the 2020s. That fact alone highlights just how wrong Andrew Tate is about men and marriage.
Newsweek
a day ago
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Number of International Adoptions in U.S. Plummets
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. International adoptions to the United States have fallen to a record low, marking a 94 percent decline since their peak in the early 2000s. 2023 was the lowest year for international adoptions, according to the Pew Research Center's analysis based on U.S. State Department data. Why it Matters The collapse in international adoptions represents a significant shift in how children without parental care are placed and cared for worldwide. While once considered a humanitarian solution, foreign adoptions are now more tightly regulated under international frameworks like the 1993 Hague Convention, which emphasizes a child's right to remain in their country of origin where possible. For example, Russia barred Americans from adopting Russian children in 2013 and expanded those restrictions to the rest of the world in 2024. Ethiopia stopped allowing foreign adoptions in 2018, China banned them in 2024 and South Korea announced plans this year to end all private international adoptions following a probe into irregularities. Guatemala halted international adoptions in 2008 amid allegations of child trafficking. What To Know The peak of foreign adoptions was in 2004, when almost 23,000 foreign-born children joined U.S. families via adoption. The number fell to just 1,275 adoptions in 2023, according to U.S. State Department data. International adoptions have declined yearly since 2004, mirroring similar falls in countries such as Canada, France, Italy, and Spain. This is largely because the countries that historically represented the largest sources of adoptee—China, Russia, Guatemala, South Korea and Ethiopia—have taken steps to limit international adoptions. China accounted for 29 percent of all adoptions since 1999, Russia accounted for 16 percent, Guatemala 10 percent, South Korea 8 percent and Ethiopia 6 percent. The decline is not isolated to the U.S.; major adoption countries across Europe and North America are also seeing dramatic drops. France, for instance, saw international adoptions plummet 97 percent from 2004 to 2024. Rising costs and bureaucracy are also factors. The cost of international adoption jumped from a median of $6,000 in 2008 to over $30,000 in 2018, according to the Institute for Family Studies. What People Are Saying The Head of International Surrogacy and Adoption and Wilson Solicitors LLP, Amna Khaliq, told British newspaper in 2020: "Not all countries are open for adoption. You will have countries which either prevent adoption from happening overseas or are not on the UK's list of countries where they will allow adoptions to take place due to the concerns about the processes of the country." American conservative commentator and author Naomi Schaefer Riley wrote for an essay on the topic in 2020: "The bureaucratic headaches and expenses have multiplied... Given the difficulties and costs of international adoption, agencies... have decided to cease their international adoption programs." File photo of a five-month baby girl looking at a globe, taken in Connecticut, in September 2015. File photo of a five-month baby girl looking at a globe, taken in Connecticut, in September 2015. AP Celebrity Adoptions: Changing Narratives High-profile celebrity adoptions drew public attention to international adoption's possibilities and challenges. Pop icon Madonna became the subject of extensive media coverage due to her adoption of children from Malawi, highlighting both the visibility and controversy surrounding international adoptions. Critics raised questions about whether celebrities received special treatment or skirted laws intended to protect children, and governments were sometimes pressured to scrutinize or restrict foreign adoptions more closely. What Happens Next International adoptions to the U.S. are likely to remain low as more countries restrict foreign adoptions and domestic placements increase in many origin countries. Adoption agencies, such as Bethany Christian Services, have shifted focus to supporting children in their countries of birth or prioritizing domestic adoptions. Efforts to balance the need for ethical oversight with the desire to provide homes for children will continue to shape international adoption policy. Meanwhile, international surrogacy—a separate practice not regulated under the Hague Convention—is reportedly increasing, raising new legal and ethical questions, according to the Pew Research Center.
Time Business News
a day ago
- Time Business News
How to improve attitudes towards firearms in society through education?
Firearms are one of the most controversial topics right now with laws from days past not foreseeing the future of it nor the sheer magnitude of how much damage a gun can produce. Though many don't know how to shoot a firearm, that can cause many accidents and potentially life-threatening situations. With guns being available in the US very easily many don't ever try them because they can't find a place secure enough to even shoot a firearm. This could mean that many once they are in a situation of using a firearm are at a disadvantage potentially not being able to use it effectively causing missed shots. Many are also scared of how firearms work exactly with many not planning to use them due to their mass power and efficiency making their protection status worthless if, not someone can't shoot correctly. This is why firearm training should be a requirement for many owners of firearms but also potential firearm owners to have a feel of their firearm if the situation arises. The main reasons why Firearm training should be a requirement is due to the amount of feel you get with the firearm and feel features that can't just only be explained in words. Most firearms have recoil, some are heavy, and many have not practiced how to aim or how to use it correctly. This means that onsight training would significantly help many owners have a feel for their weapon and make sure that it would protect them. Though some people aren't close to an outdoor location where firearms are used, then the next best thing is to use shooting simulators to understand the type of firearm they have and to give a demonstration of what shooting with said firearm will be like. With many people being visual learners owners will see and check some of the details of the simulation and how it will likely be used in real life. Some simulations such as the iShooter app will allow you to shoot firearms through practice targets to have an idea of the speed of the bullet and the accuracy of how the shot did for more comfortability with the weapon. With the increase of firearms used in today's age, many owners need to have a feel for them to protect themselves and others around them if they have to. This is why firearm training should be one of the first considerations in how many Americans test out firearms rather than be thrown into immediate life-threatening action where they wouldn't have any idea of how to use it. Even if many can't do on-visit training many could resort to simulations to have a feel of every feature and be able to improve their firearm technique. Due to its accessibility, many are resorting to simulation firearm training to improve their accuracy. Showing that there is demand and importance for many owners' security and protection with times being difficult. Many resorted to unimaginable situations to use their firearms which could be the difference between life and death all with some training. TIME BUSINESS NEWS
