Tips for parents talking to their teenage children about mental health
Psychologist and Medibank Mental Health Reference Group member Maria Ruberto provides helpful tips for parents speaking to their teenagers about mental health.
DO
Prioritise connection
Talking to teens is not just about a conversation, it is always about connection. Teens are navigating a complex world of physical changes, peer pressures, identity formation and growing awareness of social issues.
What they need most is to feel safe, seen and supported. When you truly listen to your teen and validate their feelings, it fosters trust and helps them feel valued. This connection forms the foundation for any productive conversation you want to have. For example, if they are upset about something that feels completely irrational to you, remember you were once a teenager and most likely would have reacted similarly to them. While it may seem small and insignificant to you, it's a big deal to them, so treat it that way.
Allow space for options and reflection
Rather than offering ready-made answers, try to ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection (a vital skill). This helps teens build problem-solving and decision-making skills. Even if you think you know the best solution, guide them gently to discover it for themselves. Hold your tongue and breathe.  Give them permission to try (and potentially fail) and come back to you when they need.  
Praise with purpose
Teenagers can be highly sensitive to judgment and criticism. They're trying to figure out where they fit and who they are. One powerful way to build confidence and connection is to notice their positive actions in detail. Instead of vague praise like 'good job,' say: 'I noticed you wiped the toothpaste out of the basin, that keeps it clean, thanks' or 'it was nice to hear you being so patient with your little brother, he really looks up to you.' This reinforces what matters and makes values visible.
Keep conversations short and frequent
With a developing frontal cortex, mini conversations with teenagers are better than epic marathons.  There is a lot happening in their lives, so keep the discussion short, simple and optimistic.  Long talks filled with lessons and advice can overwhelm a teen's developing brain. Less is more. Think quality over quantity – a few thoughtful minutes here and there can often go much further than long lectures. Stay optimistic and consistent, and over time, those small efforts build trust and understanding.
Play the long game
Change takes time, especially during the adolescent years. It might not happen as quickly as you'd like, and it may be months and months before you see some shifts.  Don't rush the process – patience is key.
DON'T
Don't try to control the outcome
Teens need to practice autonomy. When you come into a conversation trying to steer it toward your own desired outcome, it can feel dismissive. Instead, focus on guiding rather than directing. Give them room to explore. This means that they might get it wrong, and you'll need to let them fail (within reason).  
Don't neglect their emotional state
If your teen is upset or withdrawn, avoid pushing too hard for a conversation. Respect their emotional space, and don't push them to open up if they're not ready. Tell them you are there when they are ready.
Don't be in a bad mood
Run a self-check prior to connecting with your teen – your emotional state sets the tone. Emotions are contagious, so ensure your mood is positive and calm. If you're feeling stressed, angry or reactive, your teen will sense it – and likely mirror it. When you speak from a place of stability and care, your teen is more likely to respond with openness and calm.
Don't expect instant agreement or compliance
Adolescents are naturally wired to challenge and test boundaries as they grow into independence. This is not because they are intentionally being difficult, they are simply trying to connect the emotional part of their brain to the thinking part of their brain – and this connection requires trial and error. Expecting them to instantly agree or comply will likely lead to conflict or withdrawal. Instead, let them process, push back, and return to the conversation at a different time and context. Sometimes, it's helpful to come back into a conversation by asking a 'curious comment' to help a young person rethink things or change their way of thinking. Curious comments are a great strategy that invites broader thinking, by stretching their mindset to include other possibilities other than a defensive or negative reaction, which may often be a teenagers first response.
Don't lead with judgment or criticism
Teenagers already feel a great deal of internal pressure and comparison – both to their peers, to their imagined future selves and what they see on social media. Adolescents are also super sensitive to embarrassment and inadequacy. Harsh feedback can shut down conversations before they start. Instead of highlighting what they did wrong, ask what they think, what they noticed, or how they felt. This builds insight and trust.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
News.com.au
17 minutes ago
- News.com.au
Taste.com.au survey reveals Aussie shoppers favourite aisles
It's a place every shopper knows all too well – the aisles of their local supermarket. But which one is Australia's favourite? According to Dinner Heroes survey, the fresh fruit and vegetable aisle has come out on top, with almost one in five (16 per cent) of Aussies nominating it as their favourite. Of that, the nation's healthiest eaters (and shoppers) live predominantly in the ACT (20 per cent), followed by Queensland (19 per cent) and WA (17 per cent). Female participants were also more likely to choose that aisle, sitting at 21 per cent, while only 10 per cent of males share the sentiment. The survey conducted by News Corp's Growth Intelligence Centre (GIC) also found clear generational differences between aisle choice. Boomers enjoyed the fresh fruit and vegetable aisle the most, coming in at 24 per cent, closely followed by Gen X at 16 per cent. Popularity declined in the lower age brackets with only 10 and 11 per cent of Gen Z and Millennial shoppers in agreement. The second favourite aisle – as voted for by the younger generation at 13 per cent – was confectionary. Shoppers in the NT had the biggest sweet tooth, with almost a quarter of shoppers declaring their love for the lolly aisle. Consumer behaviour expert Professor Nitika Garg from the University of New South Wales believes the results are explainable due to two main factors: health issues and discretionary income. 'One is that as people get older they have health issues – they might have been told by the doctors take your vitamins, you need to eat more healthy …,' Professor Garg told 'The second is that we know that Baby Boomers or the older generations right now in the current environment have more discretionary income compared to Millennials and Gen Z. When asked why fresh fruit and vegetables topped the charts overall, Professor Garg said the current education in place in schools has encouraged a generation of mindful eaters. 'I think this is a hardening development and indicative of the initiatives that Australian schools and the government have put in place,' she said. 'I remember when my kid was in primary school we had to give (them) one box for the snack – which had to be a fresh fruit or something – and then another (for) lunch. 'I think there is that growing awareness and because kids are growing up with that more and parents are more aware, even across different social economic groups,' Prof Garg said. 'Those differences still exist but they are shrinking a little bit. 'My hunch would be you will not see this pattern replicate in let's say a country like the US where there isn't the same push for information in this regard.' Food Director Michelle Southan said there are simple tips shoppers can follow to ensure they can stretch their dollar farther. 'Embracing recipes that use fresh seasonal produce is one way to ensure balanced meals without exceeding your budget but don't overlook the frozen vegetable aisle either – there are some excellent options that can easily add extra nutrients to your dishes,' Ms Southan told 'Having pantry staples like cannellini beans and lentils readily available is also a great way for boosting the nutritional value of your meals.' Humans aren't the only ones considered in the weekly shopping budget, the survey found, with a third of pet owners feeding their four-legged friends their dinner. This is more common in younger pet owners – 46 per cent of Gen Z and 43 per cent of Millennials – as opposed to only 28 per cent of Boomers. Bondi Vet Owner and veterinarian Dr Kate Adams said she was a big supporter of feeding pets leftovers from the dinner plate. 'I think the biggest plus for me, and for everyone, is not wasting food,' she told 'One of the things that breaks my heart … is wasting meat. There's a lot of people in this world who don't have food and I think we shouldn't be wasting what we're given. 'In terms of the health aspect of this … there has been a real turn in the market, in particular pet food, where people are now looking to wholefoods (which) are a lot more anti-inflammatory than what the processed foods are. 'There's been a real push towards overall preventive health, and the main way that we know how to do that is nutrition.' Dr Adams warned by only feeding our furry friends the same wholefood diets as their owners they can miss out on the balanced diet that animals require. 'Am I pro-dinner feeder? Absolutely,' she said. 'I was taught back in my day when I graduated, I've been a vet for about 20 years, that dry food was the only option for our pets. 'As we know more about nutrition, we know more about the value of food, wholefoods are better than processed foods. 'The only problems that exist here are when pets are not getting a balanced diet, that's when things start to go a bit off the rails.' Several of Dr Adams' clients present with health issues which she boils down to diet. 'I don't want people to throw that their leftovers away (but) I think they have to be conscious of the fact that their dog can't just live on meat and two different types of vegetables.' She believes the stark contrast between generations can be attributed to the 'norm' when Boomer pet owners were younger was feeding the dog off the table – and now, after also being a generation of researchers – have found the perfect balance for their furry friends. Meanwhile, Gen Z and Millennials may be more food waste and cost conscious, Dr Adams theorised.
ABC News
37 minutes ago
- ABC News
What I've learned about navigating the aged care system second time around
When I first suspected my mother had dementia early this year, selfishly my first thought was "Oh no, not again. I can't deal with the system again so soon". I'd just managed to secure a home care package for my father, two and a half years after he'd had a laryngectomy for advanced throat cancer which left him without a voice and a debilitating existence. He narrowly escaped residential aged care, despite facing pressure to go down that route from many within the system and spending many months in several different homes on respite. It was a merry-go-round of facilities across Sydney and in the end, none of them would take him permanently, deeming his tracheostomy too high risk. So, I thought I knew the system pretty well. I also thought the grief and stress associated with my father's illness and decline, combined with a career and two small children, was enough. I don't have any siblings to help and my parents are divorced, so they don't even have each other. But that angst of watching a parent lose their capacity for a 'normal' life was happening again. And on top of that was the administrative burden of dealing with My Aged Care, Centrelink, doctors and social workers. It turned out I also had more to learn this time around and I'm bracing myself for an even steeper learning curve once the new Aged Care Act comes into effect later this year. After almost four years navigating various aspects of aged care, here's what I've figured out: This time last year my mother was on the dancefloor at her own birthday party. Now she can only walk using a frame for short distances. The decline has been rapid. We started with the GP, then referrals to a geriatrician and specialists and a bunch of brain scans. Despite receiving a dementia diagnosis, I thought a stint of rehab before heading home with support would be enough. It wasn't. That's when I engaged My Aged Care to get an Aged Care Assessment, which basically gets you into the system for help and support. Kyra-Bae Snell, the executive director of aged care consultancy group CareAbout, said this step was critical. "An assessment is everything," she said. It's important for the family to not downplay what care was needed, she said, because that would mean longer wait time and fewer services. The assessment will basically point you in up to three directions, depending on what level of support is needed. You'll be given a bunch of codes, which you need to keep on file because those codes unlock all the services you've been approved for including help at home, respite or permanent residential care. Some of this may change when the new Aged Care Act is expected to roll out from November 1. The Commonwealth Home Support Program (CHSP) is generally for people with low needs who just require basic help at home such as cleaning or gardening. But, as I experienced, it's also for people who are waiting on a home care package and need much more support for things like showering, dressing, preparing food or taking medications. It can be tricky to organise because you may need to get each service you've been approved for from a different provider and set up a weekly roster and payment system, since it does require a co-contribution from the participant. I also found it wasn't enough to cover what we needed, so as Ms Snell said, "Be the squeaky wheel". Home Care Packages (soon to be called Support at Home) are a little more straightforward and are simply designed to keep people at home for as long as possible. Under the current system, the wait time is at least nine months, but from November, under the new Act, it's meant to be three months. That's because the reforms mean more packages will be available, as the government makes cost cuts in other areas. I personally found it easier using one provider (which I found via trial and error from a list on the My Aged Care website) to cover all of this for my father. But Ms Snell said self-management was also a good option. "You'll have a lot more control over how the money is spent and it will be more cost effective under Support at Home than it ever was," she explained. That's important, because the new system will require participants, even full pensioners, to pay more for everyday living or independence supports with co-contributions from 5 per cent up to 50 per cent, depending on their income and assets. On the flip side, clinical care, such as nursing, will be free. Ms Snell encouraged people to continue those non-clinical services like personal care and showering, despite the costs, as they were essential to staying at home. "We see when a personal care worker comes into the home and reports like a bruise or a skin integrity issue, then that's then raised with the care manager and then you can bring in a nurse or then you can arrange to go and see your GP," she said. Residential Aged Care is, in theory, the last resort — for me anyway. I spent months of stress and tears lining up both private and CHSP-funded carers for my mum after a long stint in rehab and hospital. But after a week at home with multiple falls, I realised the time had come for 24-hour care. Luckily, I already knew a lot of the homes in Sydney after my father's experience, so I made a list of ones in areas that suited my mother and arranged visits. Homes may over-complicate explaining the costs, but I found it useful to think of it as though you're paying for a home with additional daily costs. Jim Moraitis, the founder of VillageLocal, an organisation focused on helping older Australians navigate the aged care system, agreed while it was not like a real estate purchase, it was important to treat the process like one. "There should be due diligence of that purchase … and what I mean by that is everything is negotiable," he said. In my experience, many homes said there was no availability. But I pushed for tours and found once physically there, we were placed on their wait list and vacancies suddenly materialised. Mr Moraitis said this was a typical sales tactic — to create the illusion of scarcity. "So you were originally told no, there's no availability. Then you'll get a call out of the blue in a few weeks saying, 'Hey, one's just popped up, take it now or lose it'." He said that could take away the perception that you were able to negotiate. I've experienced help from the least expected areas, including a customer service operator with My Aged Care who went above and beyond, as well as little help from those who were meant to assist, such as social workers. I've learned to take the help where I can, always be gracious and take matters into my own hands. Hospitals will try to push you out with the first available (even if undesirable) option. Resist that pressure and always make sure you're comfortable with the next step. If you're a carer and you have the time and energy, ask My Aged Care for additional carer's respite for your loved one. Or use the service Carer's Gateway which can unlock funds and additional support for you. Don't underestimate the power of financial knowledge. You might be lucky enough to afford a specialised aged care financial advisor or utilise the free services offered by Services Australia. And finally, accept whatever assistance friends and family are offering — lifts to appointments, clothes washing, food delivery, babysitting — it all adds up. The system is meant to become easier to navigate from November 1, particularly for older Australians. Let's hope that's the case. I'm one of thousands of Australians stuck between unwell or aging parents and young children. Each day one or both of my parents need something — from dealing with a false personal alarm activation, filling out yet another form for Centrelink, organising flu shots or doing another tour of a home. It really is never ending and these tasks interrupt the work day and the time I have with my kids. I've been told to delegate tasks or simply look after myself, but that's easier said than done when, like me, you're the only one who is around and has authority to make decisions. What I have learned overall though, is that I really need to make the most of the time I have with my parents, even though it's now mostly taken up with boring administrative tasks. What I want to do now is ensure my young children have a memorable relationship with them and get to know a little bit about these unique people who brought me into the world.
ABC News
10 hours ago
- ABC News
Teenage boy hospitalised after being bitten by shark at Cabarita Beach in NSW
A teenage boy has suffered serious injuries in a shark attack on the NSW Far North Coast on Sunday afternoon. Emergency services were called to Norris Headland at Cabarita Beach, located between Byron Bay and the Tweed, shortly before 4pm. The 16-year-old was bitten on his right arm and right leg, after being attacked while swimming, NSW Surf Lifesaving CEO Stephen Pearce told the ABC. "At this stage I'm unsure of the severity of injuries, but I'm told there were traumatic injuries to the right arm and right leg," he said. NSW Ambulance said he was being flown to a Gold Coast hospital in a serious but stable condition. A video on social media showed the boy being carried up the beach by surfers and other beachgoers. Bystanders tied a tourniquet to stop the bleeding before paramedics arrived at the scene, a NSW Ambulance spokesperson said. "I'm not sure whether he was with any other friends at the time of the incident, but by the time our lifeguards got there he had already had a tourniquet applied to those impacted limbs," Mr Pearce said. A jet ski was used to clear other surfers from the water. A second chopper patrolled the area but no shark activity was sighted. Mr Pearce said with whales migrating up and down the coast at this time of the year, there was always more shark activity around the place."Cabarita Beach is a beautiful, picturesque beach and unfortunately I think it might be a case of 'wrong time, wrong place' at this stage for the young fella," he said. He said the beach will remain closed until Monday, with a decision to be made then about when it will reopen. It is unknown what type of shark attacked the teen.
