Latest news with #psychologist
Yahoo
10 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
13 Quiet Things That Make You A Better Man Than She'll Ever Realize
We all know that being a man isn't about grand gestures or loud declarations. Sometimes, it's the quiet, everyday actions that showcase your strength and character more than anything else. These subtle qualities often go unnoticed, but they play a significant role in shaping who you are. Here are 13 quiet things that make you a better man than she'll ever realize. 1. Listening Like You Mean It Listening isn't just about hearing words; it's about understanding and connecting. When you truly listen to what someone is saying, you show them that they matter. This simple act can strengthen relationships and build trust. According to psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers, empathetic listening is a fundamental component of effective communication. By listening attentively, you demonstrate empathy and respect, qualities that are the foundation of any strong relationship. Being a good listener also means being present in the moment. You're not just waiting for your turn to speak or thinking about what to say next. Instead, you focus entirely on the other person, offering responses that show you're engaged. This can make a world of difference in how people perceive you and the depth of your relationships. It's a skill that can take time to develop, but it's worth the effort. 2. Being Extra Patient Patience is more than a virtue; it's a tool for maintaining harmony in your life. When things don't go as planned, your ability to remain calm can prevent unnecessary stress and conflict. It's about taking a step back and assessing the situation without rushing into action. This approach not only benefits you but also those around you, as it fosters a peaceful environment. Practicing patience requires self-control and understanding. It shows that you can handle challenges without losing your temper or making rash decisions. Over time, this can improve your decision-making skills and relationships. Patience is a sign of maturity and strength, qualities that contribute to being a better man. It's a quiet power that often goes unnoticed but has a lasting impact. 3. Giving Her Genuine Compliments A genuine compliment can brighten someone's day and strengthen your bond with them. It shows that you notice and appreciate the little things that others might overlook. According to a study by social psychologist Dr. Nicholas Epley, giving compliments not only makes the recipient feel good but also boosts the giver's mood. This simple act of kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity. When you offer a compliment, ensure it's sincere and specific. Instead of saying something generic, point out something unique. This shows that you pay attention and value the person's individuality. A well-placed compliment can improve your relationships and make you a more thoughtful person. It's a small act with a big impact. 4. Keeping Up With Self-Discipline Self-discipline is about making the right choices, even when they're difficult. It involves setting goals and sticking to them, whether it's in your personal or professional life. This quality shows that you have control over your actions and are willing to put in the effort to achieve your objectives. It's not about being rigid but about having the determination to follow through. Maintaining self-discipline can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. It helps you prioritize what's truly important and avoid distractions. This doesn't mean you won't face challenges, but you'll be better equipped to handle them. People might not notice the effort behind your self-discipline, but it's a key factor in your growth. It's a quality that speaks volumes about your character. 5. Being Consistent Being consistent in your actions and words builds trust and reliability. When people know they can count on you, it strengthens your relationships and reputation. Dr. Robert Cialdini, an expert in the psychology of influence, notes that consistency is a fundamental aspect of building credibility. By being consistent, you demonstrate integrity and dependability. Consistency requires you to be honest and genuine in all situations. It's about being the same person regardless of who you're with or where you are. This doesn't mean being inflexible; it means being true to your values. When you show consistency, people know you're someone they can rely on. It's a quiet strength that often goes unrecognized but plays a crucial role in your personal and professional life. 6. Being Humble Humility is about recognizing that you don't have all the answers and being open to learning from others. It's not about diminishing your accomplishments but about acknowledging that you're part of a larger picture. This quality allows you to connect with others without letting your ego get in the way. It's a sign of strength, not weakness. Being humble doesn't mean you lack confidence. Instead, it shows that you're secure enough to listen and learn from others. It allows you to appreciate different perspectives and grow as a person. Humility fosters respect and creates a positive environment for collaboration. While it may not always be recognized, it's a vital aspect of being a better man. 7. Offering Her Help Without Expectations Helping others without expecting anything in return is a true testament to your character. Whether it's offering a hand with a project or lending an ear, your willingness to help speaks volumes. Research by Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist specializing in happiness studies, shows that acts of kindness can increase levels of happiness for both the giver and the receiver. This selfless act can create a positive ripple effect in your community. When you help someone, focus on their needs rather than what you might gain. This mindset fosters genuine connections and strengthens your relationships. It's about being there for others because you want to, not because you expect something in return. This quiet action can have a significant impact, even if it goes unnoticed. It reflects the kind of man you are at your core. 8. Owning Your Mistakes Taking responsibility for your actions is a mark of maturity and integrity. When you own up to your mistakes, you show that you're willing to learn and improve. It's not always easy to admit when you're wrong, but it's an important step in personal growth. This action demonstrates your commitment to being honest and transparent. Owning your mistakes also fosters trust and respect from those around you. It shows that you're not afraid to face consequences and take corrective action. This doesn't mean being hard on yourself but rather accepting what happened and finding ways to move forward. People may not always acknowledge your accountability, but it's a vital part of being a better man. It's about embracing imperfections and striving to do better. 9. Being Emotionally Intelligent Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your emotions as well as recognizing and influencing the emotions of others. It's a skill that enhances relationships and communication. This quality allows you to empathize with others and navigate social situations with ease. It's about being aware of how your actions affect those around you. Developing emotional intelligence requires self-awareness and reflection. It's about being mindful of your reactions and understanding the impact they have on others. This skill can lead to healthier relationships and improved problem-solving abilities. While it may not always be evident, emotional intelligence is a key component of being a better man. It's a quiet strength that enhances your interactions with others. 10. Supporting Everyone's Dreams Encouraging others to pursue their goals shows that you care about their happiness and success. It's about being a cheerleader and offering support without judgment. This action builds confidence and strengthens your relationships. When you support someone's dreams, you demonstrate that you value their aspirations. Being supportive doesn't mean taking over; it means being there to offer guidance and encouragement. It involves listening to their ideas and offering constructive feedback when needed. This supportive role can have a significant impact, even if it's not always recognized. It's a quiet way to show that you're invested in their success. Supporting others' dreams is a selfless act that reflects your character. 11. Valuing Quality Time Spending quality time with those you care about is a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your connections. It's not about the quantity of time but the quality of the interactions. When you're present and engaged, it shows that you value the relationship. This quiet action can foster deeper bonds and create lasting memories. Valuing quality time means putting aside distractions and focusing on the people you're with. It's about being present in the moment and truly enjoying each other's company. This approach can improve your relationships and create a sense of closeness. People may not always notice the effort, but it's an important part of being a better man. It's about making meaningful connections and cherishing the time you have together. 12. Staying True To Your Word Keeping your promises and being honest builds credibility and trust. When you stay true to your word, people know they can rely on you. This quality reflects your integrity and commitment to your values. It's about being dependable and following through on your commitments. Staying true to your word requires accountability and honesty. It means being upfront about what you can and cannot do. This approach fosters respect and strengthens your relationships. People may not always acknowledge your reliability, but it's a crucial aspect of being a better man. It's about being someone people can count on, even in small ways. 13. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude is about appreciating what you have and recognizing the positive aspects of your life. Practicing gratitude can improve your overall well-being and enhance your relationships. It's about acknowledging the efforts of others and expressing appreciation. This quality can foster a positive attitude and create a sense of fulfillment. Being grateful involves taking the time to reflect on your experiences and the people in your life. It's about noticing the small things and being thankful for them. This practice can lead to greater happiness and satisfaction. While it may not always be visible, gratitude is a powerful quality that contributes to being a better man. It's about recognizing the value in what you have and the people around you. Solve the daily Crossword
New York Times
17 hours ago
- Health
- New York Times
The Ghost in the Therapy Room
The last time Jeff Axelbank spoke to his psychoanalyst, on a Thursday in June, they signed off on an ordinary note. They had been talking about loss and death; Dr. Axelbank was preparing to deliver a eulogy, and he left the session feeling a familiar lightness and sense of relief. They would continue their discussion at their next appointment the following day. On Friday morning, though, the analyst texted him to cancel. She wasn't feeling well. Dr. Axelbank didn't make much of it — over years of long-term psychoanalysis, each had canceled on occasion. But the following week, he still hadn't heard from her, and a note of fear crept into his text messages. 'Can you confirm, are we going to meet tomorrow at our usual time?' 'I'm concerned that I haven't heard from you. Maybe you missed my text last night.' 'My concern has now shifted to worry. I hope you're OK.' After the analyst failed to show up for three more sessions, Dr. Axelbank received a text from a colleague. 'I assume you have heard,' it said, mentioning the analyst's name. 'I am sending you my deepest condolences.' Dr. Axelbank, 67, is a psychologist himself, and his professional network overlapped with his analyst's. So he made a few calls and learned something that she had not told him: She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April and had been going through a series of high-risk treatments. She had died the previous Sunday. (The New York Times is not naming this therapist, or the others in this article, to protect their privacy.) Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
ABC News
a day ago
- Health
- ABC News
Ramsay Health Care set to close psychology clinics across the country within weeks
Australia's largest private hospital operator has moved to close the majority of its psychology clinics, leaving thousands of vulnerable patients facing the prospect of being left without crucial care. In a staff meeting earlier this month, Ramsay Health Care revealed it would shut 17 of its 20 psychology clinics across the country by September. Internal documents sent to staff, obtained by the ABC, state the decision was "not made lightly" and followed a review of the challenges in running a widespread network of clinics, including "rising costs, uneven demand and operational complexity". One psychologist who works for Ramsay Health Care, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she is not authorised to speak publicly, said she was deeply concerned about the impact on patient care. She said patients who were not retained by their current psychologist in a new practice, or picked up by another clinician, would have to find alternative care. "Clients are being left in limbo because they potentially are going to have to wait a month or two to see their regular psychologist if they are continuing on somewhere else, or they're going to have to start all over again," she said. "The more clients are going through revolving doors, eventually, they just give up. "This has been extremely frustrating because I'm trying to advocate for clients and for best client care, but it's like words are falling on deaf ears, they are not taking concerns seriously." Ramsay Health Care is Australia's largest private provider of psychology services, and its clinics see a range of high-risk patients with various mental health conditions, including young children, for conditions like depression or PTSD. The provider also runs separate mental health clinics, however they will not be affected by the change. A briefing note sent to staff said three clinics — in Cairns, Charlestown and Joondalup — would remain open, and it was "exploring the merits" of expanding its existing psychology telehealth services. But the note said Ramsay Health Care was not "stepping away from mental health care". "We remain committed to supporting high-quality, accessible services, whether in hospitals, in communities or online," the note said. "This decision reflects a growing community demand for mental health support that is easy to access, flexible, convenient and connected to other services." A Health Department review into the viability of the private hospital system, commissioned by the Albanese government and published in summary last year, identified declining mental health services as a major issue. It noted the sector had raised concerns about access to private hospital psychiatric services, and the difficulty in attracting and retaining psychiatrists prepared to work in a hospital setting. While the number of Medicare-subsidised psychiatric services increased by almost 20 per cent from 2018-19 to 2021-22, the number of services delivered in a private setting dropped by about 15 per cent over the same time period. Eminent psychiatrist, and former Australian of the Year, Patrick McGorry said there was a "great risk" the clinic closures would see some patients left without care. "We already have this access problem, with only 50 per cent of people who have a need for mental health care able to access it at all, and often after long delays" he said. "This will worsen that situation potentially. "It'll throw more patients potentially back on a public sector that's severely underfunded at a state level and in crisis in several states. "So I think this is not a good signal to be sending to the public." In a statement, Ramsay Health Care said it was reshaping how it delivered community-based mental health support, "to better meet the evolving needs of clients and clinicians". "We understand this change might be unsettling and we are working closely with our psychologists to ensure every client is supported and has continuity of care, whether through our existing and expanded telehealth service or with another trusted provider, depending on what is clinically appropriate," a spokeswoman said. "This change is part of Ramsay's broader strategy to strengthen how we deliver high-quality, accessible and connected care across hospital, home and virtual settings."
Entrepreneur
3 days ago
- Business
- Entrepreneur
Why Your Workplace Superpower is Also Your Most Deadly Blind Spot
This story appears in the July 2025 issue of Entrepreneur. Subscribe » For successful people, there's nothing more confusing than failing when you gave it your best. You leaned on your tried-and-true personality traits — the ones everyone agrees are your "superstrengths" — and yet, things fell apart. Fortunately, when this happens, there's a fairly common diagnosis: You have encountered a blind spot. As a clinical psychologist turned business coach, I've spent years honing my intuition to recognize when previously successful leaders, executives, or entrepreneurs were getting in their own way, and to come up with tailored solutions to help them. What I've learned is that we are not as self-aware as we believe. We tend to feel as if most of our traits, instincts, and feelings are like everyone else's — except for where we see ourselves as exceptional or gifted, in ways that we imagine can only serve as a positive. And when I began as a coach and started to hear people talk about the strengths and weaknesses of the people they work with, I took their answers at face value. If an executive was praised for their confidence, I'd make a note of it, and look for other areas that might need to be worked on instead. After all, strengths are good, I reasoned. It's the weaknesses that we need to worry about. Related: Why Failure Is Crucial in Finding Your True Purpose But after a little while, I started to notice a surprising pattern. Often, if an executive was praised for his confidence, that same reviewer might also mention his arrogance. The friendly extrovert would have trouble leaving people alone to do their work. The same individual would be described as both persistent and stubborn — and the more persistent she seemed to be in some people's eyes, the more stubborn she seemed in the eyes of others. The visionary would have trouble with execution. The understanding boss was quick to agree with everyone, leaving no one quite sure where they stood. The calm, unflappable CEO never signaled when he was upset, causing people to guess what bothered him. The curious, out-of-the-box thinker seemed to get easily distracted by something shiny and new. My realization: Strengths are not unqualified positives. Instead, our challenges often emerge from investing too heavily in our strengths — the "superstrengths" become supernovas, and tip into qualities that frustrate people around us and get in the way of our success. My attention to detail might feel to others like micromanagement; an orientation toward action can look a lot like a lack of strategic thinking; conscientiousness becomes perfectionism; critical judgment becomes a lack of interpersonal sensitivity. And because these strengths are often the qualities we are most proud of — the things we like best in ourselves and have heard positive feedback about over the course of our lives — the idea that they can become our biggest weaknesses is a serious blind spot. I call it a "trait blind spot." Most of us simply won't be able to see when it happens. Related: How to Overcome Past Struggles and Turn Them Into Your Superpowers Esther was a great example of this. She was the CEO of a small pharmaceutical company, and had taken over from its scientist founders. The board loved Esther; she had an incredible reputation as a conscientious and careful leader, and she seemed like the natural choice to steer their company through an IPO and beyond. But nine months after Esther was hired, the board chairman called me with concern. "Growth has been surprisingly slow," he told me. "We brought in this new sales guy. And it's helping, a little. But the sales guy keeps telling me we need a new CEO. We like Esther and want to make it work. Can you figure out what the problem is?" I reached out to Esther to set up a meeting. She asked if I could connect her with a few references — perfectly appropriate and reasonably commonplace. Two weeks passed before I followed up. Esther said she still hadn't had a chance to reach out to one of the references. Another three weeks passed, and I figured this was never going to happen. Until, to my surprise, she reached out and said we were good to get started. Two weeks later, Esther and I met at the international terminal in the San Francisco Airport — the only place and time that worked for both of us. It was not an ideal location for a substantive meeting, but I was able to explain my process — interviews, testing, a report, a plan. She seemed amenable, and I found her to be pleasant and polite. No red flags. Except the pace of the follow-up remained glacial. Esther gave me limited access to her team, making the process slower than normal. She also kept putting off her testing. When I had gotten about three-quarters of the way through the process — now a full three months after I had initially reached out to her — the board chairman called me and asked for a progress report. "Do you think she can get better?" he asked. "I hope so — but I'm not sure. I have to admit, I haven't even begun coaching her yet." "You've got to be kidding." I paused for a beat. "I'm sure Esther is coachable, I just — " He cut me off. "I think you've given me what I was looking for," the chairman said. "We're going to let Esther go. She's great, but just isn't a fit for a startup. We have to move fast, and, like you've seen, she can't." This was a perfect illustration of how a superstrength can also become a deadly blind spot. Esther prided herself on being cautious and deliberate, which were useful traits in her old role. But her new role required something else. By being cautious and deliberate now, Esther was failing. She couldn't see the problem, because it had never been a problem for her before. With awareness and a plan, she could have fixed this. But she ran out the clock, and her extreme traits cost her the career opportunity she'd been so excited to earn. Related: How to Find Your Blind Spots When You Don't Know What You're Looking For Because there are a seemingly unlimited number of traits we might possess, it takes some focus to figure out which ones are most likely to lead to blind spots. I'm sure many of you have taken personality tests — Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and others. While these tests are fun and yield findings that are interesting to explore, the Big Five traits (see table below) are a particular set of traits that have been developed and refined by research psychologists over the past 70 years. The big five traits Extroversion: When someone finds energy in the company of others (introversion — comfort being alone — is on the other side of the spectrum) Openness to experience: Curiosity and an eagerness to do and learn new things (as opposed to someone who thrives on routine) Accommodation: Agreeableness and trust (while people low in this trait are comfortable with disagreement and in environments where they may have to play politics or manipulate others) Conscientiousness: Discipline in the pursuit of goals (with relaxed spontaneity and a willingness to multitask at the other extreme) Neuroticism: Anxiety and irritability (as contrasted with an even mood and generally sunny disposition) Numerous teams of investigators, using robust statistical methods, have agreed that these five traits show remarkable stability throughout our lifespans and across cultures and contexts, and are orthogonal to each other, or statistically independent. This makes them a good place to start in any discussion about traits — and trait blind spots. Psychologists believe that a bell curve exists for each of these traits. Many of us are somewhere in the middle — somewhat extroverted, not too extroverted — but some of us fall on the extremes, and that is where we run the risk of falling victim to a blind spot on the opposite side. What do I mean by that? You think your superstrength will always be the right approach, even when it isn't. If you are very extroverted, you will be at a loss when being introverted would be the optimal trait for a particular situation. If you are extremely open to new experiences, you won't adapt to a situation where what's needed is deep focus on one domain. A client named Mila, for instance, had experienced an exceptional rise at one of the most successful B2B companies in the world. She was known in the industry as a rock star: super smart, incredibly driven, and a key leader with a legendary ability to focus and quickly devise elegant technological solutions. Expectations were high when she jumped to a prominent startup and found herself elevated to CEO after an unexpected resignation. The marketing team was delighted to get Mila's name out in the world even further, wanting to book her as a keynote speaker at conferences around the globe. The technologists couldn't wait to see one of their own shining in a broader, more public-facing role. The sales team was thrilled to have her in the top spot at the company, because they knew her name would mean something to customers, and bringing her in to help close deals would give them a competitive advantage. That is not how things played out. Mila was aware when she took the job that she was quite high in conscientiousness — she was, like Esther, slow and deliberate at times. She liked to spend time holed up in her office working through problems, and her previous role made it possible for her to do that. But unlike Esther, she knew that wouldn't work as a CEO. She was pragmatic and had a strong bias to action, so she forced herself to act more quickly, to rely on her team, and to make big decisions on perhaps less data than she might have hoped for. Related: The One 'Superpower' Trait These 6 Top Leaders Always Look For When Hiring Still, the role of CEO has few day-to-day requirements, and is shaped by the person who occupies it. There were more decisions to make than in her previous role, and even with her conscious effort to speed up, she still found herself wanting more time alone to focus, recharge, and think. She was friendly and charismatic when forced to interact, but left to her own devices, tried her best to keep her schedule free of what she saw as social distractions. She told her team, "There's lots of work to do, and I need the time to do it." There was no one to force Mila to add things to her schedule that she would rather avoid. So as much as possible, she sidestepped what made her uncomfortable. Salespeople had to ask her again and again to come to a closing to answer a client's questions, or even just to say hello and lend some of her star power to the transaction. The marketing team got her to agree to just one keynote when they wanted to book her for a dozen. One-on-one, Mila was warm and caring, but she did not take advantage of opportunities to rally the team in big ways, to give inspiring speeches, or to stand in front of them as their fearless leader. She became almost an invisible presence. Her internal leaders were frustrated that they had to spend time convincing Mila to do the things that they thought she should have naturally been seeking out and genuinely excited to pursue. When I was brought in and interviewed her team, they were baffled. "Why do we have to beg our CEO to be the face of the company?" they asked. One of her senior leaders even confided in me, "It's like Mila only wants to do the hard work. Getting interviewed is fun! Giving speeches is fun! People would love her. And she wants to look at spreadsheets all day?" This was, as it turned out, an easy one. What Mila and her team didn't realize was that she was an introvert in a job that required the behavior of an extrovert. The simple reality was that for Mila to leave her comfort zone — to meet with clients, lead company meetings, talk to the media — was exceptionally challenging. She coped with the stress of extroverted activities not just by avoiding as many as she could, but also by convincing herself that these tasks were extraneous, and that simply focusing on strategy and execution would be enough. She was blind to the reality that her innate introversion was holding her back as the company shifted from product development to commercialization, when a CEO needs to be external-facing. Traits are hard to change, and I don't intend to argue otherwise. Any attempt to change them is likely to end in frustration and failure. We are, for better or worse, who we are. Rather than fighting our instincts, it is almost always more productive to become aware of our traits and then manage around them or find a role where we can thrive not just despite who we are but because of our unique gifts and abilities. Mila was never going to be the life of the party — but if she wanted to be a successful CEO, she needed to become aware of her blind spot, then adapt. To some degree, she needed to push herself out of her comfort zone. But she could also compensate by building a team around her that could own at least some of the tasks she didn't want. I advised her to hire a "chief of communications and inspiration" to own some elements of the role that she didn't feel comfortable with, and we worked on ways to strategically harness her limited tolerance for meetings by using her in only the most important sales closings. While Mila was uncomfortable being on stage in front of large groups, I could see that her genuineness, warmth, and industry credentials made her quite charismatic in small group situations. I encouraged her to schedule monthly sessions — "Friday breakfasts with Mila" — and invite four employees at a time from different parts of the company to join her for a meal. She used these meetings effectively to connect with employees as individuals, inspire them about her vision for the company, and show them how much she appreciated their contributions. She also worked with sales and marketing to help them shape her identity to the world as a brilliant, compassionate, introverted leader. This allowed her to stay in her comfort zone as much as possible while adjusting the world's (and the company's) expectations of who she was and how she might behave. Finally, she leaned on her extroverted CFO to take a more central role during board meetings in order to relieve her of "performing" for the board, letting her focus instead on building the one-on-one relationships. Through understanding and accepting her blind spot, Mila was able to make changes that felt like a relief — and with help, she blossomed as a CEO and found success. Her introversion was something to address, not a fatal character flaw. Rather than trying to convince others that certain parts of the job weren't important, she needed the self-awareness to know what she could and couldn't do, and strategies to overcome any problems. Related: How to Turn Blind Spots From Your Enemy Into Your Most Important Asset As you read Mila's story, you might have wondered how she got that role in the first place. Isn't it obvious, you might ask, that an extrovert would be a better leader than an introvert? As Mila's company moved from developing its product to commercializing it, the answer was yes. But I wouldn't make the case that this — or any trait — is universally valuable in every situation. I have seen CEO roles where deep thinking matters most, and the nature of the business doesn't require the kind of robust presence that Mila's team wanted from her. There may be leadership traits that prove useful in many cases, but even more important is the fit: Which traits are useful in a particular context? Over time, I've found it interesting to discover that trait blind spots do tend to surface for entrepreneurs more than corporate leaders. The collection of traits needed to build is very different from the set of qualities required to lead. Successful leaders in established companies are often described as "well-rounded." They have filled several different roles, and those with significant trait blind spots end up getting weeded out on the move up the hierarchy. You simply don't become CEO if you don't have the right mix of traits or can't learn how to adapt to your own particular set. To the extent there are weaknesses, they are not blind spots; they are known and managed around. Entrepreneurs, on the other hand, succeed because they are exceptional at something — maybe vision, maybe resilience, or maybe none of the leadership traits at all — and this exceptionalism is so strong that people are willing to overlook their other challenges. Think about the stereotypical brilliant founder with no people skills, where employees accept that he's difficult and leave him alone to do his magic. People fear pointing out the issue because of the possibility of an adverse reaction, denial, or defensiveness. Some entrepreneurs, when confronted with evidence of their gaps, may argue that people are exaggerating. But there is a ceiling to growth when someone has an unaddressed blind spot standing in their way. Once the demands of the job shift to encompass far more than just product development and rapid growth — once the founders must become managers of people — they're exposed as fundamentally flawed CEOs. They are "spiky, odd-shaped polygons," as I like to put it, and don't fit as leaders in a more established enterprise. If you are struggling, one of your first questions should be whether you are missing a particular trait. But the very next question should be whether one or more of your inherent traits are hindering you rather than helping you achieve results. If you want to identify your blind spots, here's where to start. Related: What Is Your Entrepreneurial Superpower? The first step is awareness. You need to understand who you are, and what core traits define you. Personality tests, like one to measure where you stand on the Big Five traits, do not provide the whole picture, but they can be a useful place to begin. Looking at your results, do a gut check. In which categories are you at one extreme or the other, and how does that play out in your life? If any of these traits were overused, how might that negatively impact you? Everything can be taken to an extreme, and that's what we need to catch. By looking at the Big Five and how they play out in leadership, it is easy to see how being at either extreme for any of the traits can be harmful. When it comes to neuroticism, if you are too reactive, you will be unlikely to maintain your equilibrium through the endless pressure and the ups and downs of business. You may be too unpredictable to your colleagues and subordinates. Being too calm, on the other hand, has the potential to make you appear as if you are unaffected by difficulties, and others may doubt that you are taking problems seriously enough. What about openness to experiences? If you are too imaginative, it becomes toxic to productivity. But if you are too conventional and cautious, you can't move at the required speed. Pure extroverts may lack the internal focus to put in the solitary efforts that are sometimes required on the road to success, while introverts may not be able to handle the social and interpersonal demands of any career that involves interaction with others. Being too agreeable can affect potential business gains, while being too critical can harm needed relationships. Being too high on conscientiousness may lead to discomfort with risk and ambiguity, while being too carefree can lead to mistakes. Ask yourself the top adjectives others use to describe you, and then reflect on what happens if you modify them with the word "too" — are you too smart, too energetic, too selfless? These are probably things you like about yourself, but that's what makes them even more dangerous. If you are proud of these facets of yourself, you are less likely to try to extinguish them or control them. Who wants to act less smart, for example, or less careful? You may not be able to see all of this yourself — and in fact, you probably can't. Ask others to help. How do they perceive you when it comes to the Big Five and other leadership traits? How would they describe you, and, if asked directly, what do they say you are too much of? Do you have a trait blind spot — either an overused strength or a critical gap — that needs addressing? Related: Your Business Won't Grow Until You Tackle These 3 Leadership Blind Spots After awareness, the next step is action. Once you've identified your traits, you need to examine whether they match your current context. Within an organization, you know the landscape better than a coach like me ever could. Are your traits bumping up against expectations in ways that are holding you back? Where are you consistently finding yourself struggling, and does it come back to an area where you are "too much" of something, or where a different trait is needed? You might ask yourself to think about the people succeeding in your organization or your profession, and whether they embody different traits than you. Do the truly persistent individuals around you seem to be getting things done in a way that you're having trouble with? Does that mean persistence is a helpful trait here, and is that something you might be willing to grow within yourself, or might it mean you are in the wrong role? Are there mechanisms you can put in place to guard against over-relying on certain aspects of yourself? If, for example, you have too much of an ownership mindset, can you force delegation and outsourcing so that you mitigate your inclination to do everything yourself? Remember, there are no universals; different traits are useful in different roles. Your default responses may be perfect, or they may need some adjustment. For Esther, whose caution caused her to lose her job, there could have been a three-step action plan to address the problem: 1. Recognize that your superstrength (in this case, caution) is a blind spot in your current context. 2. Ask yourself: Can you shift? Do you even want to shift? 3. Find a solution. Coming forward with honesty about Esther's strengths and limitations could have prompted a discussion between her and the board about how to move forward productively. Perhaps she could have convinced the board that the company didn't need to move as quickly as they believed, and that her more deliberative style was a benefit in an industry prone to missteps. Perhaps she could have brought in a "number two" to own some of the decision-making that depended most on speed and yet still have given herself the space to focus on the company's larger strategy. Related: 6 Traits to Look For in Your Next Boss There wasn't necessarily a right or wrong answer, just the opening for a discussion that could happen only once Esther recognized her blind spot. No matter what trait you are trying to manage, when you are no longer blind to your blind spot, solutions come into focus. Reprinted by permission of Harvard Business Review Press. Excerpted from Blindspotting: How to See What's Holding You Back as a Leader by Martin Dubin. Copyright © 2025 Martin Dubin. All rights reserved.
The Sun
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Psychological test: the woman you think is most attractive reveals your secret personality traits & hidden emotions
A SIMPLE cartoon could reveal some deep truths about your personality, according to an expert. If you are wondering what your heart truly longs for, this easy psychologist test could share the answer in seconds. 6 According to the test, you need to analyse a cartoon picture showing five women from behind. Each one has a different hair colour and also dress style, from one in casual shorts and T-shirt to another stylishly dressed in a ball gown. The poster explained: 'Imagine these girls turn to face you. 'Which one do you find most attractive? 'Look carefully, as this test will reveal hidden traits of your character.' So which one will you choose? The answer is said to share your "true need"... Girl 1 6 If you selected the stylishly-dressed brunette woman, with her hair in a ponytail, you are said to be a 'person of action who values freedom and independence'. The test states: 'It's important for you to feel in control of your life, but this can sometimes lead to inner tension. 'Advice: allow yourself to let go sometimes. Not everything requires your intervention.' Girl 2 Perhaps you chose the blonde casually-dressed woman in shorts and a T-shirt, who has her hair loosely tied back. The image you see first in this mind-bending optical illusion reveals your most annoying personality trait If you did, this means your 'key need is harmony and balance.' It explains: 'You avoid conflicts, strive for stability, but sometimes suppress your emotions. 'Advice: learn to gently express your feelings without fear of disturbing the peace.' Girl 3 6 The third woman had neat ginger hair and a modest midi-length skirt and a top. Choosing this person as the 'most attractive' means that 'inside you lives a creative, emotional part that has been on pause for too long.' It added: 'Now you crave breaking out of routine, a more vibrant life and intense experiences. 'Advice: remember when you last felt excitement and find ways to bring that back into your life.' Girl 4 Maybe you opted for the brunette woman with her hair in a stylish bun, and a halterneck evening dress. If you did, allegedly you 'seek intimacy, emotional safety and acceptance.' The test shared: 'Perhaps you're lacking warmth or support. 'Advice: allow yourself to be vulnerable. Voice what you usually hide - even if just to yourself.' Girl 5 The fifth and final girl was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, with a low maintenance hairstyle. The people who picked her as the most good-looking are said to 'strive for clarity, simplicity and inner order.' It adds: 'Fatigue from emotional overload and external expectations may be blocking your true desires. 'Advice: try a digital or emotional detox. Remove unnecessary things for at least a day.'
