31 Former Child Actors Who Survived The Toxic World Of Hollywood And Are Doing Really Well For Themselves Now
Recently, Reddit user phantom_avenger asked the folks over at r/moviecritic, "Who is a former mainstream child actor or actress that survived the toxic world of Hollywood and is currently doing really well for themselves?" Here are the top-voted results:
1. Hilary Duff — "Hilary isn't as big as she used to be back when she was a teenager and was considered one of the biggest stars in film, shows, and music in the 2000s! But she is living a pretty healthy lifestyle, raising her family of four children, and balancing her acting career in projects that are less mainstream along with getting involved in entrepreneurship!"
2. Ron Howard — "I feel like he was extremely lucky. He worked in two of the rarest situations possible in the entertainment industry with genuinely lovely people. Andy Griffith and Don Knotts were supposed to be really nice people (sometimes not to the other actors but always to Ron, by his account). The same with the entire cast of Happy Days, with Henry Winkler being known as one of Hollywood's 'good guys.'"
3. Dakota Fanning — "I remember there were pictures of Dakota and her sister, Elle, in school activities like homecoming games. I think their parents tried to give them a normal life between their careers, which is so awesome."
4. Elle Fanning — "I think both the Fanning sisters have done great for themselves."
5. Shirley Temple — "Until she died (at age 85), Shirley Temple Black was the paradigm of the child actor doing well as an adult."
—
"She was the US Ambassador to Ghana. She married a man who had never seen her movies, to which she credited their happy relationship. (She married at 18 to get away from her very controlling parents, and that husband was wild. But she divorced him, left acting, and was very happy from then on.)"
— Teckelvik
"Her second husband, the love of her life, said what he most admired about her was she was always herself. She never tried to be anything less."
— Erroneously_Anointed
6. Kenan Thompson — "I'm more amazed he hasn't broken down as an adult doing SNL as long as he has. All you ever hear is how much of a pressure cooker that show is. To last as long as he has, you gotta have your head on straight."
7. Jodie Foster — "She really survived Hollywood's perverted grossness."
8. Joseph Gordon-Levitt — "I haven't seen him in too much the past few years for some reason, but he was a child actor then went on to do Brick, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Looper, etc."
9. Elijah Wood — "No matter how bad the politics get in America he still posts about rad shit he likes on social media."
— Wendigo_1910
"He tweeted about my friend's band a few years back, which was strange. They're not particularly famous. Just a noisy, northern English alt/punk band. But it seems Elijah is a fan."
— ScottMarshall2409
10. Macaulay Culkin — "He went through a rough patch, but he's doing really well now. And he's still able to live off of that Home Alone money for life."
11. Brenda Song — "Macaulay and Brenda both did good for themselves. So add her in, too."
12. Kieran Culkin — "He's in good shape as well!"
13. Lindsay Lohan — "I mean, yes, she had a huge fallout and got herself in trouble with the law, but she turned her life around and is doing a lot better. She got married, has a child, and will be in Freaky Friday 2."
— NDeceptikonn
"I have never actually been proud of a celebrity. I don't know them and have no personal relationship, etc. But I am actually legit proud and happy for Lindsay Lohan. I think it is a combination of watching her grow up and getting a glimpse of her vulnerable human side on the David Letterman show years ago (not cool on his part). I am rooting for her."
— pepperw2
14. Jason Bateman — "He is great in everything."
— Chaotic424242
"It's ironic, he was the yang to Michael J Fox's yin, and I hated his character as a kid; I despised having to sit through The Hogan Family because of him; now that I'm an adult, he is hands down one of my favorite actors."
— shake-dog-shake
15. Kurt Russell — "It's hard to believe just how long he's been around for. Active in seven decades!"
16. Daniel Radcliffe — "He had a period of really struggling with alcoholism, but otherwise, he's doing much better now."
— allthingskerri
"Honestly? A few years of alcoholism without any scandals, coming out the other side okay, and doing interesting projects fits the bill."
— EchoesofIllyri
17. Ryan Gosling — "I live not too far from where his parents are, and one day, in an aimless Facebook scroll, I ended up on his dad's page, which was weirdly fascinating. And yes, I know it makes me a bit of a creep, but I couldn't help but click through a bit. The most boring-dad stuff you could ever hope to see. Like, here's an awkward photo of my adult children home for Christmas, except one is a movie star. I have to wonder if the shocking normalcy of his family life kept him on a good path."
18. Melissa Joan Hart — "She was the first person that came to mind."
19. Jerry O'Connell — "He was so adorable in Stand By Me. Seems like he has a good head on his shoulders."
20. Ke Huy Quan — "He seems like he is doing well. He played Short-Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and he recently won an Oscar."
— Coffee_achiever_guy
"I love his comeback! He struggled with his acting career for years, and it started to launch following his Oscar win! I hope he's able to maintain the success rate it's currently at."
— phantom_avenger
21. Scarlett Johansson — "A couple of pieces of trivia I'd tell my cousins is she was a supporting cast in Home Alone 3, and she starred with Robert Redford in The Horse Whisperer, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Avengers: Endgame."
22. Christina Applegate — "She has had such a rough life and has been such an inspiration. Every time I see her have a new diagnosis, I'm like, 'Come on! Give this woman a break.'"
23. Miranda Cosgrove — "She seems incredibly down to earth and normal, especially considering she had a stalker who set himself on fire in her driveway."
24. Wil Wheaton — "I love that guy, and he's the reason l asked Andy Serkis if we should just start using motion capture to phase out child actors, specifically using Wil as an example. He'd never thought of it before and said he'd give it some thought, which l thought was pretty cool."
25. Mayim Bialik — "She has a PhD in neuroscience, and as an adult, she was in one of the most successful sitcoms ever. She is now an acclaimed author."
26. Kirsten Dunst — "She has a fantastic acting resume, two kids, and a seemingly nice life with her husband. Good for her."
27. Dylan Sprouse — "Started a mead company and is seemingly very happy with his lovely partner."
28. Natalie Portman — "It's a miracle, too, considering how much of a weirdo Luc Besson is."
— HerbalCoast
29. Melanie Lynskey — "She's still in plenty of high-profile stuff like Yellowjackets and The Last of Us. I've also heard that she's pretty down to earth in person."
Miramax / courtesy Everett Collection, Elyse Jankowski/Variety via Getty Images
— Upbeat_Tension_8077
"I once heard Melanie Lynskey talk about her experience making Heavenly Creatures in an interview. She was picked out of tons of girls who auditioned. Cast with Kate Winslet. Everyone thought she was great in the role. She would talk about what she hoped to do next, and people were like, 'Oh, honey, that might not be in the cards for you. Don't get your hopes up.' She proved them wrong!"
— Comprehensive-Fun47
30. Bridgit Mendler — "Went to Harvard and MIT, co-founded a satellite data startup, adopted a kid she was fostering in addition to being an actress and singer. If you created a character with her achievements in a book or movie, people would call it unrealistic."
Craig Sjodin / © Disney Channel / Courtesy: Everett Collection, David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
— KweenindaNorf_7777
31. Finally, Leonardo DiCaprio — "The best example of all."
Darlene Hammond / Getty Images, Stefanie Keenan / Getty Images for LACMA
— Western-Image7125
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Groom's Mom Shocks Couple and Guests by Wearing a Wedding Dress and Veil to Son's Ceremony: "It's Tradition in Our Family"
A guest recalled how the groom's mother wore a bridal gown and veil to her son's wedding last year in a viral Reddit post. The mother of the groom reportedly told guests that it was a "tradition" in her family for the groom's mom to wear white. During the reception, she asked guests who her gown looked in different lighting and reminded everyone that she was "the first woman in his life." The bride, groom, and their guests were shocked when they saw the mother of the groom walking down the aisle; the groom reportedly kept saying "I'm so sorry" to his bride during the read it time and time again: Never wear white to someone else's wedding, unless the dress code explicitly says that you should. For that reason (among so many others) it should go without saying that wearing a wedding dress to someone else's ceremony and reception is off the table, but one mother of the groom didn't see the issue with wearing a bridal gown to her son's nuptials. In a Reddit thread titled "The Groom's Mom Wore a Wedding Dress and Said It's Tradition in Our Family," which was posted on the /weddingshaming rubreddit, a guest detailed the shocking moment when the groom's mother walked down the aisle in head-to-toe bridal garb. "Everything was going smoothly until the groom's mother walked into the hall in a full-length white gown. Lace sleeves. Sparkly belt. Veil," the guest, who notes that she was attending her cousin's wedding, notes. "She looked like she was about to walk down the aisle herself." Needless to say, attendees and the couple were shocked. "The bride's face froze mid-smile like she had just seen a ghost. The photographer looked visibly confused. And the actual bride's mother? She quietly said, 'If I ever do this at your wedding, slap me,'" the original poster added. Related: 5 Things You Should Never Wear to a Wedding, According to a Stylist The situation further deteriorated from there. "To make things worse, the groom's mom tried to stand next to the bride and groom during the vows, and even held the bride's bouquet at one point," the original poster explained. "Someone, I suspect it was a brave aunt, gently pulled her back like she was a lost guest who wandered too close." The reason she wore the white gown in the first place? According to the mother of the groom, it's "tradition" in her family for the groom's mom to don white on her son's wedding day. "At first, people assumed it was some kind of themed outfit or maybe a backup dress for the bride. But nope. It was hers," the poster wrote. She even had the nerve to say, 'It's tradition in our family for the mother of the groom to wear white.'" At the reception, the groom's mom doubled down on her attire choice. "She spent the rest of the evening introducing herself as the original woman in his life and asking guests how her dress looked in the lighting," the guest shared. In response to a question from another Reddit user, the original poster went on to detail how embarrassed the groom was. "He looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him. Totally blindsided and embarrassed. He just kept saying 'I'm so sorry' over and over," the guest wrote. "They're still married, but yeah, rough start thanks to his mom." Other Reddit users agreed that wearing white was inappropriate, but most were also alarmed by the mom's reception behavior. "If I was the bride I'd expect my new husband to kick her out," one user wrote. Another added, "What a horrible, selfish person. I would have laughed out loud every time she passed me." Up Next: Mother of the Groom Brings His Ex-Girlfriend as Plus-One to His Wedding Read the original article on Brides
Yahoo
5 hours ago
- Yahoo
"I Was A Dirty Little Secret For The Better Part Of 10 Years": People Who Had "Secret" Relationships Share What Happened And Why They Were Secret
Not all love stories are designed to be flaunted on Instagram. Some of the most thrilling romances actually are better served outside of the public eye. Some of the most exciting and memorable romances are often messy, complicated, and hidden behind locked screens and whispered phone calls. And despite how convoluted it could get, they leave a lasting impression, for better or for worse. Whether it was a forbidden office romance, a love affair that crossed cultural lines, or a situationship that never made it to 'Instagram official,' people have found themselves in secret relationships for way longer than they ever planned. I recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to spill the tea on the relationships they kept under wraps — and their stories range from heartbreaking to jaw-dropping. From being someone's 'dirty little secret' to uncovering the truth about why the secrecy started in the first place, these confessions will have you side-eyeing your situationship real quick. Note: Some submissions have been taken from this Reddit thread. 1."I'm still not ready to tell my kids about my girlfriend. However, I'm sure they suspect, as my ex has made several off-hand comments about me dating again." "We had been keeping the secret from my girlfriend's children for a bit, and when they caught on, I got a lot of 'My mommy and daddy are still in love' comments." —purpleorc394 2."I am in one right now. It's not a total secret, my friends know her and like her, but I've been keeping it from my mom, the most important person in the world to me, and it's really hard." "My mom lives in the Bay Area, and I split my time between there and LA depending on my work schedule. A couple of months ago, I met a girl, J, at a bar in Hollywood, and we had an instant connection. She makes me so happy, and I feel like I am falling in love. But I can't share that happiness with my mom. We talk on the phone every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and when I first met J, I told my mom I had made a new friend. She told me not to get involved romantically because I would be coming back to the Bay Area soon and should focus my attention on a guy in the Bay that I had expressed interest in a while ago. I told her I couldn't make any promises about that, and she said, 'Do what you want, but I don't want to hear about it.' I agreed. Fast forward a couple of weeks: I stayed the night at J's house, and my mom called me at 7 a.m. because she had checked my location and saw that I wasn't at my apartment. I told her I was at a friend's house, and when she asked who, I told the truth. She started freaking out, so I insisted it was platonic. She made me promise, and I lied to her. Since then, my feelings for J have only gotten deeper, and I have been lying to my mom on a daily basis about what I am doing and who I am with. It makes me feel like a terrible person, but I'm scared that if I come clean, she will never forgive me." —Anonymous, 25, Los Angeles 3."When I was 32, I had a brief affair with a friend. His wife was bi and had recently moved in with her girlfriend. It appeared to all of us that the friend and his wife were going to make the separation permanent (the friend certainly thought so)." "After we'd been together about a month, the friend's wife took notice. After three months had passed, she decided she wanted to keep her husband after all and came back. I was offered the chance to stay, too, if I agreed to be shared by both of them. I declined, and eventually moved far away. I found them a couple of years ago on Facebook. They're still together. I didn't contact them." —Anonymous, 63, Arizona 4."She tried flirting with him, and he was friendly but didn't seem interested. She kinda gave up after that, but whenever we were there, she would bring up how hot he is. About a month later, I was there without her, and I noticed he kept looking my way, so I made eye contact and smiled. By the end of the night, we were flirting and exchanged numbers. It was really exciting having to keep him a secret, I got a thrill from going to the bar and pretending I didn't know him and having other guys try to hit on me in front of him." "One night, she was pretty drunk at the bar and went up to him and asked him if he wanted to go home with her. He ended up telling her that he has been eyeing me. He wanted an actual relationship, and I used my friend as an excuse to avoid that, but she told him that he needs to make the first move.. I got bored because it wasn't a secret anymore, so I ended it. Don't worry, this was in my early 20s, and I've since gone to therapy." —Anonymous, 31 5."When I was in my early 20s, I worked at a country club. I was always at the front desk as the membership rep. One day, an older man came in with his wife; he brought the VIP package, so I was doing my best to make him happy. He took a liking to me, and soon enough, we were sneaking away every chance we got." "I only broke things off when at a party for the club, I heard him telling some of his male friends that they could have a turn with me. My best friend was livid when she found out, but since she worked at the club too, she did little things to ruin his time there. Being young and dumb doesn't excuse what I did, but it is a great way of explaining how stupid I was." —Anonymous, 30, South Carolina 6."I once started dating a guy from work. We kept it on the DL because we didn't want anyone there to know. He was also recently divorced. I basically moved in with him, and we spent 24/7 together for several months. However, he was always paranoid about me being seen on the ring camera or leaving things around the house when visitors came." "He said his ex was crazy and still had access to the cameras through an app. I started getting suspicious, but I'd met some of his friends and was young and naive, so I believed that to be true. Fast forward a few months, and he gets relocated for work…to where his ex lives. I found out on Facebook a year later that they're still married. We had called it off once he moved, but I was the side chick while they were long-distance and truly had no idea. Moral of the story - listen to your gut!!" —Anonymous, 29, Nevada 7."I was 17 and he was 20." —Anonymous 8."When I was 21, I started seeing a 30-year-old. My mom was super religious, and I still lived at home, so I would sneak out when she went to bed to go to his place. We had a rule of no sleepovers; we both didn't want a relationship, and I think he was afraid I would get confused if I spent the night. He was the first one to show me what it's like to have a man cater to me and put my pleasure before their own. He helped me find my voice and be confident when it came to asking for what I want and letting a guy know what didn't feel good. Looking back, the age gap is a bit too much at that age, but I am thankful for him. He was really respectful and attentive." —Anonymous 9."My secret relationship is the necessary kind as opposed to the fun and exciting kind. I'm a trans man, and my partner is still in the closet. We're both bisexual, but he's never gone public about his relationships and sexual encounters with men, while I've been openly bisexual since I was 13." "It killed me at first to try to hide things, but over time I've just gotten used to it. I used to feel like he was embarrassed or ashamed of me, but then I met his family, and I understood he was just trying to protect me. His parents are older (closer in age to my grandparents than to my own parents) and unfortunately, quite close-minded, so they don't know that we're together (they just think we're housemates) and they don't know I'm trans either (thankfully, I pass well or this would be a much more awkward conversation). His brothers are even worse, one of them talks openly about wanting to kill all gay people and stuff like that... So there's a good reason to keep me in the closet. It's a generational thing too, I think; he's a bit older than me and grew up at a time when men couldn't be open about being gay or bi, and he's had a hard time moving on from that mindset. We also work together, and he just wants to avoid the gossip, which I agree my friends and family are all open-minded and accepting of him and our relationship, so at least I don't have to hide with *everyone*. My parents have treated him like family since day one, he's great friends with my younger brother, and my grandparents absolutely love him. My friends get along great with him too, and he often gets invited along to our outings.I do hope someday he won't have to hide like this anymore, but until then, this is what we live with. Our five-year anniversary is in June, and we've been living together for three years, so the relationship itself is definitely going well... the circumstances he's in just force us to hide it. Is it worth it? For him, yes, but if we break up at some point, I'm not doing this again for someone else. A secret relationship like this is incredibly hard on the partner who was previously out and now has to go back in the closet, and most people don't consider that; they just focus on how hard things are for the still-closeted partner." —Anonymous, 30, Canada 10."It was a hot, messy, scandalous affair." "He was a successful and celebrated musician. We both were in relationships with other people. We genuinely loved each other and probably wished that it could be something more 'normal', but life didn't work like that. It was the kind of relationship that caused a buzz of electricity when we were in a room together, and everyone could feel it. He died unexpectedly, going on six years now. The day after he died, I was at a cemetery caring for a loved one's grave. I could sense the weight of it all, and at that moment, a car with a personalized plate drove by. The plate said 'LOVU4EVR' and I believe it." —Anonymous, 52, Canada 11."20 years after high school, a girl I knew then reached out and asked me to lunch. She told me how successful she and her husband were, and how wonderful their family was. Within 2 weeks, she caught him cheating and was over at my place doing things best not mentioned at meals. This went on for over 10 years. Once she and her husband finally split up, there was no more fun in our secret. She hooked up with the first guy that talked to her, and I retired. Everyone is happy. Even the cuckold." —Anonymous, 53, Denver 12."At first, it's fun and incredibly exciting! Sneaking around, stealing kisses, and spontaneous rendezvous for some action. Then basically, all your friends catch on since it's impossible not to be somewhat obvious. On top of that, people in a secret relationship normally can't keep their mouths shut and tell one person, making them swear not to tell anyone, but they will. "Overall, it's an awesome charade that can become pretty fulfilling, and mostly no one in your inner circle will care unless you are cheating. That's just quick gratification with long-lasting ramifications. I was in a 3 year relationship that began as a secret. Great experience and would never trade it for anything." –u/Hooligan_Hardguy 13."This is a throwaway for good reason. In my freshman year of college, I had been dating a girl for 3 years. She went to a different school at the time, so I didn't see her much, and the long-distance thing took a toll. About a month into my first semester, I met this girl in one of my classes. She was incredibly good-looking and very sweet. I had developed a bit of a crush on her, but it was nothing serious, just a bit of daydreaming. Then one day, I got a message on Facebook from her asking if she wanted to help me review her essay. She claimed to have read something of mine and really liked my writing style. I thought it was odd because she would always sit next to and talk to this other guy in class, and had never actually spoken to me. So, I met with her in the library and we started talking." "It went from just talking about school and working on class stuff to just generally hanging out. No intention of a relationship or anything, just friends. Well, as the semester progressed, we got closer. My girlfriend still didn't know about her. Although we had never done anything, we spent a lot of time together. We would walk around campus at night, hang out, talk about stuff, and so on. I was really falling for her. Around that time, she got a boyfriend and was very happy, and I was happy for her. About 2 weeks later, she calls me at 2 a.m., crying because he dumped her because she wouldn't put out (she was abstinent until marriage). I met with her the next day to comfort her, and she looked at me... You know the look. The way she looked at me made me feel a way I hadn't felt in a long time. It was an innocent, sweet, loving look. I almost kissed her. Almost. I stopped myself because I knew it would be bad. Then, my girlfriend found out I had been spending time with her. I hadn't done anything most would consider cheating, but I lied to her frequently about where I was and what I was doing. She was crushed and very upset. I loved my girlfriend more than the infatuated feelings I had for this other girl. I stopped hanging out with the girl and eventually stopped talking to her altogether. About a year later (we would text from time to time or talk when we ran into one another), I had to tell her how I felt. I had to get it off my chest. I went to her place late at night, and I told her everything. How I missed her, how I cared about her, how she made me feel, and so on. She told me that the feeling was mutual and that she had often thought about what a relationship between us would be like... I told her goodnight and left. I haven't talked to her since. My girlfriend has forgiven me for what I did, but to be honest, I still think about her sometimes, and I miss her." –u/Mouse_Bites 14."Basically, I was in love with a girl who loved me, but was more in love with her best friend. Her best friend was extremely possessive and kind of a terrible person, and didn't want to share her. It bordered on abuse and manipulation, but I couldn't convince her otherwise. So our relationship was a complete secret. Long story short, I ended up getting my heart broken, while she ended up with the person she really wanted to be with. We didn't talk for several months, and I just pretty much numbed myself to the pain. We just started talking again recently, actually, but I'm very guarded around her. For as much as I cared about her, I'll never do something so stupid again. It makes it hard to trust people." –u/knightwave 15."I was a dirty little secret for the better part of 10 years (on and off). It sucked. He was insistent on not openly dating me, but everyone in his circle knew about me. His refusal to be open about it just hurt me (though he always had a good excuse.)" "Last we talked, he told me he was openly dating, and giving everything I asked for to a trailer girl with four kids who never graduated from high school. (I hold two degrees from a top-ranked university) So I declared him 'dead to me' 6 months ago and have never felt better." –u/Kopannie 16."Badly. We worked together and ended up dating for about a year and a half. During that time, he met my family, we went away for the weekend, did all that couple stuff, etc. But the ENTIRE time, he was completely paranoid about people at work finding out. There could be no pictures on social media, we couldn't go to work together, we couldn't leave together, we couldn't have list goes on. For a year and a half, it was horrible. And by the way... people at work knew anyway." –u/littlebev 17."My ex-girlfriend and I kept our relationship a secret for the first few months just because some people in our friendship group would have been unhappy about it. Eventually, we let everyone know about it, and it went well. We lasted four years and split up last year because the relationship had run its course, and we wanted different things." –u/FastMoreThanTrain finally, "Badly, yet somehow we are still friends. Took about a 5-6 month cooling-off period, though. Basically, I had to hide the relationship from my mother because she hated my gf for the actions she had done to me in the past and for how she dresses. My dad knew about it but chose not to tell my mother, as my mother has a bit of a hot streak when it comes to her temper. It mostly worked out; not being able to have her at my house all that often was a bit of a pain, but I found ways around it. What killed it, though, was not only my mother finding out eventually but an argument about sex, as I overreacted to the prospect of having a child. The breakup was somewhat amicable, but I also found out that not long after the breakup, she had sex with her ex. That shattered me for a while, but now it's nothing but a distant memory." –u/Cruxisshadow H/T: r/AskReddit
Buzz Feed
5 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
Confessions From Secret Relationships: What Happened
Not all love stories are designed to be flaunted on Instagram. Some of the most thrilling romances actually are better served outside of the public eye. Some of the most exciting and memorable romances are often messy, complicated, and hidden behind locked screens and whispered phone calls. And despite how convoluted it could get, they leave a lasting impression, for better or for worse. Whether it was a forbidden office romance, a love affair that crossed cultural lines, or a situationship that never made it to 'Instagram official,' people have found themselves in secret relationships for way longer than they ever planned. I recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to spill the tea on the relationships they kept under wraps — and their stories range from heartbreaking to jaw-dropping. From being someone's 'dirty little secret' to uncovering the truth about why the secrecy started in the first place, these confessions will have you side-eyeing your situationship real quick. Note: Some submissions have been taken from this Reddit thread. "I'm still not ready to tell my kids about my girlfriend. However, I'm sure they suspect, as my ex has made several off-hand comments about me dating again." "I am in one right now. It's not a total secret, my friends know her and like her, but I've been keeping it from my mom, the most important person in the world to me, and it's really hard." "My mom lives in the Bay Area, and I split my time between there and LA depending on my work schedule. A couple of months ago, I met a girl, J, at a bar in Hollywood, and we had an instant connection. She makes me so happy, and I feel like I am falling in love. But I can't share that happiness with my mom. We talk on the phone every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and when I first met J, I told my mom I had made a new friend. She told me not to get involved romantically because I would be coming back to the Bay Area soon and should focus my attention on a guy in the Bay that I had expressed interest in a while ago. I told her I couldn't make any promises about that, and she said, 'Do what you want, but I don't want to hear about it.' I agreed. Fast forward a couple of weeks: I stayed the night at J's house, and my mom called me at 7 a.m. because she had checked my location and saw that I wasn't at my apartment. I told her I was at a friend's house, and when she asked who, I told the truth. She started freaking out, so I insisted it was platonic. She made me promise, and I lied to her. Since then, my feelings for J have only gotten deeper, and I have been lying to my mom on a daily basis about what I am doing and who I am with. It makes me feel like a terrible person, but I'm scared that if I come clean, she will never forgive me."—Anonymous, 25, Los Angeles "When I was 32, I had a brief affair with a friend. His wife was bi and had recently moved in with her girlfriend. It appeared to all of us that the friend and his wife were going to make the separation permanent (the friend certainly thought so)." "After we'd been together about a month, the friend's wife took notice. After three months had passed, she decided she wanted to keep her husband after all and came back. I was offered the chance to stay, too, if I agreed to be shared by both of them. I declined, and eventually moved far away. I found them a couple of years ago on Facebook. They're still together. I didn't contact them."—Anonymous, 63, Arizona "She tried flirting with him, and he was friendly but didn't seem interested. She kinda gave up after that, but whenever we were there, she would bring up how hot he is. About a month later, I was there without her, and I noticed he kept looking my way, so I made eye contact and smiled. By the end of the night, we were flirting and exchanged numbers. It was really exciting having to keep him a secret, I got a thrill from going to the bar and pretending I didn't know him and having other guys try to hit on me in front of him." "One night, she was pretty drunk at the bar and went up to him and asked him if he wanted to go home with her. He ended up telling her that he has been eyeing me. He wanted an actual relationship, and I used my friend as an excuse to avoid that, but she told him that he needs to make the first move.. I got bored because it wasn't a secret anymore, so I ended it. Don't worry, this was in my early 20s, and I've since gone to therapy."—Anonymous, 31 "When I was in my early 20s, I worked at a country club. I was always at the front desk as the membership rep. One day, an older man came in with his wife; he brought the VIP package, so I was doing my best to make him happy. He took a liking to me, and soon enough, we were sneaking away every chance we got." "I only broke things off when at a party for the club, I heard him telling some of his male friends that they could have a turn with me. My best friend was livid when she found out, but since she worked at the club too, she did little things to ruin his time there. Being young and dumb doesn't excuse what I did, but it is a great way of explaining how stupid I was."—Anonymous, 30, South Carolina "I once started dating a guy from work. We kept it on the DL because we didn't want anyone there to know. He was also recently divorced. I basically moved in with him, and we spent 24/7 together for several months. However, he was always paranoid about me being seen on the ring camera or leaving things around the house when visitors came." "He said his ex was crazy and still had access to the cameras through an app. I started getting suspicious, but I'd met some of his friends and was young and naive, so I believed that to be true. Fast forward a few months, and he gets relocated for work…to where his ex lives. I found out on Facebook a year later that they're still married. We had called it off once he moved, but I was the side chick while they were long-distance and truly had no idea. Moral of the story - listen to your gut!!"—Anonymous, 29, Nevada "I was 17 and he was 20." "When I was 21, I started seeing a 30-year-old. My mom was super religious, and I still lived at home, so I would sneak out when she went to bed to go to his place. We had a rule of no sleepovers; we both didn't want a relationship, and I think he was afraid I would get confused if I spent the night. He was the first one to show me what it's like to have a man cater to me and put my pleasure before their own. He helped me find my voice and be confident when it came to asking for what I want and letting a guy know what didn't feel good. Looking back, the age gap is a bit too much at that age, but I am thankful for him. He was really respectful and attentive." —Anonymous "My secret relationship is the necessary kind as opposed to the fun and exciting kind. I'm a trans man, and my partner is still in the closet. We're both bisexual, but he's never gone public about his relationships and sexual encounters with men, while I've been openly bisexual since I was 13." "It was a hot, messy, scandalous affair." "He was a successful and celebrated musician. We both were in relationships with other people. We genuinely loved each other and probably wished that it could be something more 'normal', but life didn't work like that. It was the kind of relationship that caused a buzz of electricity when we were in a room together, and everyone could feel it. He died unexpectedly, going on six years now. The day after he died, I was at a cemetery caring for a loved one's grave. I could sense the weight of it all, and at that moment, a car with a personalized plate drove by. The plate said 'LOVU4EVR' and I believe it."—Anonymous, 52, Canada "20 years after high school, a girl I knew then reached out and asked me to lunch. She told me how successful she and her husband were, and how wonderful their family was. Within 2 weeks, she caught him cheating and was over at my place doing things best not mentioned at meals. This went on for over 10 years. Once she and her husband finally split up, there was no more fun in our secret. She hooked up with the first guy that talked to her, and I retired. Everyone is happy. Even the cuckold." —Anonymous, 53, Denver "At first, it's fun and incredibly exciting! Sneaking around, stealing kisses, and spontaneous rendezvous for some action. Then basically, all your friends catch on since it's impossible not to be somewhat obvious. On top of that, people in a secret relationship normally can't keep their mouths shut and tell one person, making them swear not to tell anyone, but they will. "Overall, it's an awesome charade that can become pretty fulfilling, and mostly no one in your inner circle will care unless you are cheating. That's just quick gratification with long-lasting ramifications.I was in a 3 year relationship that began as a secret. Great experience and would never trade it for anything."–u/Hooligan_Hardguy "This is a throwaway for good reason. In my freshman year of college, I had been dating a girl for 3 years. She went to a different school at the time, so I didn't see her much, and the long-distance thing took a toll. About a month into my first semester, I met this girl in one of my classes. She was incredibly good-looking and very sweet. I had developed a bit of a crush on her, but it was nothing serious, just a bit of daydreaming. Then one day, I got a message on Facebook from her asking if she wanted to help me review her essay. She claimed to have read something of mine and really liked my writing style. I thought it was odd because she would always sit next to and talk to this other guy in class, and had never actually spoken to me. So, I met with her in the library and we started talking." "Basically, I was in love with a girl who loved me, but was more in love with her best friend. Her best friend was extremely possessive and kind of a terrible person, and didn't want to share her. It bordered on abuse and manipulation, but I couldn't convince her otherwise. So our relationship was a complete secret. Long story short, I ended up getting my heart broken, while she ended up with the person she really wanted to be with. We didn't talk for several months, and I just pretty much numbed myself to the pain. We just started talking again recently, actually, but I'm very guarded around her. For as much as I cared about her, I'll never do something so stupid again. It makes it hard to trust people." "I was a dirty little secret for the better part of 10 years (on and off). It sucked. He was insistent on not openly dating me, but everyone in his circle knew about me. His refusal to be open about it just hurt me (though he always had a good excuse.)" "Last we talked, he told me he was openly dating, and giving everything I asked for to a trailer girl with four kids who never graduated from high school. (I hold two degrees from a top-ranked university) So I declared him 'dead to me' 6 months ago and have never felt better."–u/Kopannie "Badly. We worked together and ended up dating for about a year and a half. During that time, he met my family, we went away for the weekend, did all that couple stuff, etc. But the ENTIRE time, he was completely paranoid about people at work finding out. There could be no pictures on social media, we couldn't go to work together, we couldn't leave together, we couldn't have list goes on. For a year and a half, it was horrible. And by the way... people at work knew anyway." –u/littlebev "My ex-girlfriend and I kept our relationship a secret for the first few months just because some people in our friendship group would have been unhappy about it. Eventually, we let everyone know about it, and it went well. We lasted four years and split up last year because the relationship had run its course, and we wanted different things." And finally, "Badly, yet somehow we are still friends. Took about a 5-6 month cooling-off period, though. Basically, I had to hide the relationship from my mother because she hated my gf for the actions she had done to me in the past and for how she dresses. My dad knew about it but chose not to tell my mother, as my mother has a bit of a hot streak when it comes to her temper. It mostly worked out; not being able to have her at my house all that often was a bit of a pain, but I found ways around it. What killed it, though, was not only my mother finding out eventually but an argument about sex, as I overreacted to the prospect of having a child. The breakup was somewhat amicable, but I also found out that not long after the breakup, she had sex with her ex. That shattered me for a while, but now it's nothing but a distant memory." –u/Cruxisshadow H/T: r/AskReddit
