Could there be something fishy going on here?
Andrew elucidates further: 'I was only ever in Slater's clothing store once,' he says, 'and left after being told there was nothing wrong with their jackets… the problem was my body.'
Potty plotting
The world's richest fella, Elon Musk, loves to rattle off messages on his social media account on X, which he owns.
Bob Wallace from Pollokshields tells us his greatest ambition (apart from appearing in the Diary) is to bag a job as Elon's PR chief, where he would help Elon get his message across more clearly, especially when it comes to X posts about his rocket-building business, SpaceX.
Thus, says Bob, if Elon writes that an unmanned rocket ship has a 'rapid unscheduled disassembly", Bob can translate to… 'it blew up in mid-air.'
And when Elon says a rocket "experienced a major anomaly", Bob can point out that 'it blew up on the ground'.
Bob tells the Diary: 'I was quite happy daydreaming about this until my wife informed me that I had experienced 'a rapid unscheduled disassembly,' which she explained was better than saying: "You've lost the plot.'
Weather woes
Perusing a BBC Scotland news article on their website about the completion of works on the island of Staffa's jetty and steps, reader David Morrow noticed that one photo had the most Scottish caption of all time, for it read: 'The weather was disrupted at times by bad weather.'
Absorbing this information, David says gloomily: 'I guess this means that summer must be here…'
Ancient amore
Business-minded Ian Noble from Carstairs Village says: 'I'm about to establish an online dating agency restricted to the over 75s called Carbon Dating. Reckon I'm on to a winner.'
Bliss on boat
More about the Scottish climate and its acolytes.
Margaret Thomson was on a cruise round the Western Isles.
The weather was perfect. Blue skies. Calm waters.
On board the boat was an Australian woman who was ecstatic about the scenery, racing round deck with her camera, going snap-happy.
After a while she sat down and enthused: "I had no idea that Scotland was so very beautiful!"
With slightly less enthusiasm, a fellow passenger retorted: "Come back in November, hen."
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Scotsman
an hour ago
- Scotsman
Reactec takeover: Hand-arm vibration pioneer spun out from University of Edinburgh bought by major player
'We can totally see the value our technology can bring to Ideagen's existing customer base' – Reactec CEO Jacqui McLaughlin Sign up to our Scotsman Money newsletter, covering all you need to know to help manage your money. Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... Reactec, the Edinburgh-based tech firm best known for developing a hand vibration monitoring system, has been acquired by risk software specialist Ideagen. The deal, for an undisclosed sum, is said to mark a 'pivotal step' in Ideagen's drive to improve safety and operational performance, particularly for firms in high-risk industries such as mining, construction and manufacturing. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad Archangel Investors, the Scottish investment syndicate, was an early investor in Reactec - a University of Edinburgh spinout - supporting the company's evolution from a specialised hand-arm vibration monitoring outfit to a workplace safety platform utilising wearable technology and data analytics. Founded in 2001 as a spin-out from University of Edinburgh, Reactec specialises in vibration monitoring and its impact. Picture: Peter Devlin Reactec chief executive Jacqui McLaughlin said: 'At Reactec, our core mission has always been to protect workers and provide actionable insights that foster healthier and safer work environments. 'Becoming part of Ideagen allows us to extend our reach and provide even greater value to organisations that are forward thinking in their approach to enhancing the health and wellbeing of their workers. 'We, like Ideagen, seek to prevent and not simply mitigate risk. We can totally see the value our technology can bring to Ideagen's existing customer base and look forward to working with them to deliver real impact.' Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad Ben Dorks, Ideagen's chief executive, said: 'This is a significant milestone for Ideagen as we continue to invest in technologies that address real-world challenges faced by our customers. Reactec's wearable technology and data analytics are a perfect complement to our portfolio, putting cutting-edge tools directly into the hands of those who need it most. Together, we are setting new standards for workplace safety and risk mitigation.' The takeover of Reactec marks Ideagen's sixth acquisition in 2025. David Ovens, joint managing director of Edinburgh-based Archangels, said: "Over several years, Archangels has supported Reactec's transformation from a narrow hand-arm vibration application to a broad workplace safety platform, delivering meaningful health outcomes for workers. 'We're particularly pleased to see recent strong growth in both domestic and international markets and we look forward to seeing the business flourish as part of Ideagen's global network which provides the perfect springboard for expansion,' he added.
STV News
an hour ago
- STV News
How Scotland's biggest con man caused the first modern stock market crash
A Scottish adventurer, believed to have caused the first-ever modern stock market crash 200 years ago, created a fictitious country to attract investors. Gregor MacGregor, born in Stirling on Christmas Eve in 1785, was a soldier, explorer and con man who attempted to draw British and French investors and settlers to a made-up nation. Poyais was a fictional Central American republic that McGregor claimed to rule as a sort of tribal chieftain called a Cazique, with hundreds investing in government bonds for the territory. MacGregor issued a £300,000 loan through the London bank of Thomas Jenkins & Company for the bonds and land certificates, which is around £24m in today's money. Hundreds left Leith Dock in 1823 bound for the non-existent country in the Bay of Honduras, only to find a jungle with little food or shelter. The plots of land and government bonds that MacGregor sold, nor Poyais itself, actually existed. His actions are believed to have led to the Panic of 1825 – a stock market crash that originated in the Bank of England. The story of Gregor MacGregor's rise and fall McGregor came from a warrior clan and joined the British Army at 16, perhaps drawing inspiration from his grandfather, who served with the Black Watch, and his father, who captained East India Company ships. A short time later, McGregor returned from duty to Scotland and moved to Edinburgh with his wife Maria. He called himself a colonel before referring to himself as Sir Gregor MacGregor and claimed he was a clan leader. Following his wife's death in 1811, he sold his inheritance and left for Venezuela, a country embroiled in war. Revolutionary General Francisco de Miranda was said to have 'admired' his courage. He married Doña Josefa Antonia Aristeguieta y Lovera, the niece of Simon Bolívar, former President of Peru. McGregor soon found himself with a large stretch of land between Nicaragua and Honduras – the basis of what would become the fictitious Poyais. Following the Napoleonic Wars, he took advantage of investors in London who had 'money to burn'. He took out adverts in newspapers and opened sales offices to attract investment. When ships carrying emigrants from Scotland arrived in 1823, the towns and roads of Poyais didn't exist. They were told by passengers on a previous boat that left London in September the year prior that they had been duped. Due to a lack of available food and shelter, diseases were rife among those who made the journey. As many as two-thirds died by the time a rescue was possible. After his plan was foiled, he continued to scheme in France, managing to earn almost £300,000 thanks to enthusiastic investors. However, he was soon found out and detained and tried for fraud in a French court in 1826. MacGregor managed to escape prosecution while one of his associates was found guilty. In 1838, he retired to Venezuela and passed away peacefully in Caracas at the age of 58, seven years later. It's believed he amassed a wealth of £1.3m, around £3.5bn in today's money through his schemes. A Scottish theatre maker says MacGregor's actions go far beyond the context of the 1800s and reflect modern society. Liam Rees, from Glasgow, took the con man's story and created a performance entitled The Land That Never Was – exploring the 'audacious' details of his life. James Armandary Liam Rees, who made a play about Scotland's biggest con man. 'It was the audacity of it, the fact that he decided to make up a country,' he told STV News. 'It doesn't really get much bigger in terms of the ballsiness it requires. 'Consensus among historians and academics is that this was obviously a scam. But there is part of me that wonders if he thought he was going to fake it until he made it. It's a pretty common tactic. 'I wanted to ask what we are willing to believe? And do you need to believe in something impossible for it to become reality? I was intrigued by that. 'As humans, we need to believe in something, and it's the question of how that gets used or abused. ' He added: 'At the time, I was thinking a lot about Scotland and national identity, especially when it came to things with the independence referendum and Brexit. 'I was thinking, who are we as a country? And there's something in that. He tapped into the very colonial fever that was hitting the UK and Scotland at the time. 'It took me a while to work out why I kept on being drawn to the story, and in a weird way, I found out that the performance was about hope and about why people believe in ridiculous things. 'Those who fell for his scam were desperate and destitute, and so it was in some ways their only option. 'Nowadays, it feels like the world is constantly getting worse. There are more scams than ever with things like crypto and AI. It's some of the worst parts of humanity. 'It's always driven by the fact that people want things to change, to get better.' Liam is developing a new show about the collapse of the Roman Empire called The Empire Is Collapsing and I'm Doing My F****** Laundry with support from the Theatre de la Ville in Luxembourg. He is also an associate artist with Dead Centre, a theatre company based in Dublin, and is collaborating on their new show Deaf Republic at the Royal Court Theatre in London. Get all the latest news from around the country Follow STV News Scan the QR code on your mobile device for all the latest news from around the country
The Independent
2 hours ago
- The Independent
Google to pay $36M fine for anticompetitive deals with Australia's largest telcos
Google has agreed to pay a 55 million Australian dollar ($36 million) fine for signing anticompetitive deals with Australia's two largest telcos that banned the installation of competing search engines on some smartphones, the U.S. tech giant and Australia's competition watchdog said. The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission said in a statement it had commenced proceedings in the Australian Federal Court on Monday against the Singapore-based Google Asia Pacific division. The court will decide whether the AU$50 million ($36 million) penalty is appropriate. Under the anticompetitive agreements, which were in place for 15 months until March 2021, Telstra and Optus only pre-installed Google Search on Android phones sold to customers. Other search engines were excluded. In return, the telcos received a share of the advertisement revenue Google generated from those customers. Google accepted that the agreements were likely to have the effect of 'substantially lessening competition,' the commission said. Google has also signed a court-enforceable undertaking that commits the company to removing certain pre-installation and default search engine restrictions from its contracts with Android phone manufacturers and telcos, the commission said. The tech company said in a statement: 'We're pleased to resolve the ACCC's concerns, which involved provisions that haven't been in our commercial agreements for some time.' Commissioner chair Gina-Cass Gottlieb said: "Conduct that restricts competition is illegal in Australia because it usually means less choice, higher costs or worse service for consumers.' 'Importantly, these changes come at a time when AI search tools are revolutionising how we search for information, creating new competition,' Cass-Gottlieb added. Last year, Telstra, Optus and their smaller rival TPG agreed to court-enforceable undertakings with the commission that they would not renew or make similar deals with Google to limit search options.
