Gen Z daters are ‘terrified' of being ‘cringe' — and that's why so many are single, experts say: ‘You can get away with being ugly'

New York Post

12-05-2025

Gen Z daters are swiping left on sincerity — and it's leaving them lonely.
For many, it's not the fear of being unattractive that keeps them from going all-in on dating apps.
It's the fear of coming off as 'cringe.'
'You can get away with being ugly,' Giovanni Wolfram, a 25-year-old from Santa Fe, New Mexico, recently told Wired.
'But being cringey is just, like — that's a character that's imprinted on you.'
4 Gen Z daters are so afraid of being 'cringe,' they're ditching sincerity in their dating profiles — and experts say that's why many are still swiping alone.
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Wolfram is just one of many Gen Zers on dating apps who keep their profile irony-soaked and sarcasm-laced, wiping away any trace of sincerity.
4 Gen Z daters are rejecting sincerity — and it's costing them, researchers say.
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'Intellectually, I'm really all about sincerity and earnestness,' he says.
'But I worry about being perceived as one of those guys who is too earnest and too sincere.'
Psychologist Jordan Meisel also told the outlet that she has noticed this trend among her Gen Z clients.
'It's far more vulnerable to create a persona that feels accurate to who you are as opposed to who you think you're supposed to be or who you'd like to be,' she said to the magazine.
'Emotionally speaking, you can't hurt me if I never show myself to you.'
Brooklyn resident Anabelle Williams, 25, told Wired that the idea of someone stating what they're looking for outright is 'embarrassing.'
4 Experts say it's much more vulnerable to craft a persona that reflects who you truly are, rather than who you think you should be or aspire to be.
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'When I would see somebody saying 'looking for a long-term relationship,' I was like, 'OK, you're not looking for me. You're just looking for anyone,'' she says.
Erica Dick, 24, of Manhattan, said to the publication that just being on the apps is already 'a little cringe' and she wants potential matches to acknowledge the awkwardness.
The irony? In the quest to not look desperate, Gen Z daters may just be swiping away the real deal.
But while dating apps are a cringe minefield, some Gen Zers are getting creative — from seeking matchmakers to posting 'boyfriend applications' on TikTok to scouting for love in the produce aisle.
Dating app-fatigued 20-somethings have been heading to the supermarket to find a beau, a study from Smirnoff conducted last fall revealed.
'[Gen Zs] are sick of living chronically online, especially when it comes to meeting new people,' Maddy Stockwell, Smirnoff's marketing manager, told Australia's news.com.au last fall.
Nearly half of single zoomers want to meet a mate while grocery shopping, according to a Smirnoff-YouGov study — and 78% say they'd rather connect IRL than online.
Savvy New Yorkers in their 20s like digital marketing exec Sarah Lapi have dubbed spots like Tribeca's Whole Foods the ultimate 'boyfriend shopping' hub.
4 By overthinking their approach and trying too hard to maintain an image of nonchalance, Gen Z daters could be missing out on real relationships that don't follow the carefully curated, hyper-filtered expectations set by modern dating culture.
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'I find it easy to interact with potential candidates when I need help reaching for something, which usually sparks a mini conversation,' Lapi previously told The Post.
'Also, a friendly smile to show my interest without being too forward usually does the job.'