Highlights from a walk in the park
Stewart Martin of Mangerton makes an extraterrestrial observation: 'In the cold pre-dawn darkness, we walk our dogs at the local park. Aliens (C8) flying over would go elsewhere after witnessing earthlings searching for dog poo with their mobile phones.'
A lack of bags sometimes leads Caz Willis of Bowral to utilise coffee cups from the bin: 'Watching an owner let his pooch drop and keep walking, I caught up with him and handed him one. The look on his face told me he'd never 'scooped' before. Didn't see him in the park after that.'
Forget Madeiran boomerangs (C8), Julie Apps of Pemulwuy, holidaying in the UK says, 'Imagine my surprise to find berthed beside the royal yacht Britannia in Edinburgh, the Spirit of Tasmania. I gather it's there because it won't fit in the new berth in Tasmania and someone won't pay its parking fees. The guides on Britannia think it's great because it hides an industrial eyesore.'
With the long weekend approaching, it's D-Day for the cracker night tales (C8), but not before we hear from Jennifer Richardson of Macmasters Beach: 'As a child, we had the largest bonfire in the neighbourhood, built by the kids in the area. Part of the final ceremony was to put an effigy on the top. My brothers decided it should be female and well-dressed. Imagine my mum's surprise when she saw her favourite dress going up in flames atop the bonfire.'
'In the 1980s, my young brother returned home in the wee hours after a big night out on the turps and messing with bungers,' writes David Ramsay of Bexley. 'After putting on a toastie, he fell asleep. Overnight the toaster disintegrated and filled the house with acrid smoke. On awakening, my mother declared: 'They're just going to have to ban cracker night!''
'What a heartless lot these cracker night tragics are (C8)!' affirms Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown. 'All that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia for all that carnage, and not an apology in sight.'
Just regarding all that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia, we'd like to thank Judy Jones, Libby Cameron, Meri Will, Joan Hayward, Rhonda Ellis and Jennifer from Macmasters for their cracker night sagas.
Lesley McBurney of Wavell Heights (Qld) returns to the Baby Book (C8): 'I, too, would drive my firstborn to her gran's to eat brains which I cannot stand. We called it 'yummy food', to avoid having to admit what it was.'
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The Age
a day ago
- The Age
Highlights from a walk in the park
Stewart Martin of Mangerton makes an extraterrestrial observation: 'In the cold pre-dawn darkness, we walk our dogs at the local park. Aliens (C8) flying over would go elsewhere after witnessing earthlings searching for dog poo with their mobile phones.' A lack of bags sometimes leads Caz Willis of Bowral to utilise coffee cups from the bin: 'Watching an owner let his pooch drop and keep walking, I caught up with him and handed him one. The look on his face told me he'd never 'scooped' before. Didn't see him in the park after that.' Forget Madeiran boomerangs (C8), Julie Apps of Pemulwuy, holidaying in the UK says, 'Imagine my surprise to find berthed beside the royal yacht Britannia in Edinburgh, the Spirit of Tasmania. I gather it's there because it won't fit in the new berth in Tasmania and someone won't pay its parking fees. The guides on Britannia think it's great because it hides an industrial eyesore.' With the long weekend approaching, it's D-Day for the cracker night tales (C8), but not before we hear from Jennifer Richardson of Macmasters Beach: 'As a child, we had the largest bonfire in the neighbourhood, built by the kids in the area. Part of the final ceremony was to put an effigy on the top. My brothers decided it should be female and well-dressed. Imagine my mum's surprise when she saw her favourite dress going up in flames atop the bonfire.' 'In the 1980s, my young brother returned home in the wee hours after a big night out on the turps and messing with bungers,' writes David Ramsay of Bexley. 'After putting on a toastie, he fell asleep. Overnight the toaster disintegrated and filled the house with acrid smoke. On awakening, my mother declared: 'They're just going to have to ban cracker night!'' 'What a heartless lot these cracker night tragics are (C8)!' affirms Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown. 'All that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia for all that carnage, and not an apology in sight.' Just regarding all that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia, we'd like to thank Judy Jones, Libby Cameron, Meri Will, Joan Hayward, Rhonda Ellis and Jennifer from Macmasters for their cracker night sagas. Lesley McBurney of Wavell Heights (Qld) returns to the Baby Book (C8): 'I, too, would drive my firstborn to her gran's to eat brains which I cannot stand. We called it 'yummy food', to avoid having to admit what it was.'
Sydney Morning Herald
a day ago
- Sydney Morning Herald
Highlights from a walk in the park
Stewart Martin of Mangerton makes an extraterrestrial observation: 'In the cold pre-dawn darkness, we walk our dogs at the local park. Aliens (C8) flying over would go elsewhere after witnessing earthlings searching for dog poo with their mobile phones.' A lack of bags sometimes leads Caz Willis of Bowral to utilise coffee cups from the bin: 'Watching an owner let his pooch drop and keep walking, I caught up with him and handed him one. The look on his face told me he'd never 'scooped' before. Didn't see him in the park after that.' Forget Madeiran boomerangs (C8), Julie Apps of Pemulwuy, holidaying in the UK says, 'Imagine my surprise to find berthed beside the royal yacht Britannia in Edinburgh, the Spirit of Tasmania. I gather it's there because it won't fit in the new berth in Tasmania and someone won't pay its parking fees. The guides on Britannia think it's great because it hides an industrial eyesore.' With the long weekend approaching, it's D-Day for the cracker night tales (C8), but not before we hear from Jennifer Richardson of Macmasters Beach: 'As a child, we had the largest bonfire in the neighbourhood, built by the kids in the area. Part of the final ceremony was to put an effigy on the top. My brothers decided it should be female and well-dressed. Imagine my mum's surprise when she saw her favourite dress going up in flames atop the bonfire.' 'In the 1980s, my young brother returned home in the wee hours after a big night out on the turps and messing with bungers,' writes David Ramsay of Bexley. 'After putting on a toastie, he fell asleep. Overnight the toaster disintegrated and filled the house with acrid smoke. On awakening, my mother declared: 'They're just going to have to ban cracker night!'' 'What a heartless lot these cracker night tragics are (C8)!' affirms Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown. 'All that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia for all that carnage, and not an apology in sight.' Just regarding all that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia, we'd like to thank Judy Jones, Libby Cameron, Meri Will, Joan Hayward, Rhonda Ellis and Jennifer from Macmasters for their cracker night sagas. Lesley McBurney of Wavell Heights (Qld) returns to the Baby Book (C8): 'I, too, would drive my firstborn to her gran's to eat brains which I cannot stand. We called it 'yummy food', to avoid having to admit what it was.'
The Age
2 days ago
- The Age
Focusing on the younger set
'Don't let anyone tell you that oldies are not technically minded,' says Nola Scott of Estella. 'I, aged 90-plus, taught my masseuse, aged 20-something, how to use Google camera on her smartphone.' All these bangin' takes on cracker night (C8) have led to numerous recollections of folks getting inventive with one's fireworks, which will be today's focus, starting with Joan Hayward of Narrawallee: 'My father provided the highlight of cracker night for the neighbourhood kids. He'd fill a balloon with oxyacetylene, tape a row of Tom Thumbs to it, then as it slowly rose into the air, he'd light the lowest Tom Thumb. The result? Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! KABOOM! I swear the whole landscape shook.' Peter Nelson of Moss Vale recalls that 'when holidaying in Coffs Harbour in 1960, friends I was staying with showed me how to put a marble in a four-foot steel rod with a tuppenny bunger and watch the marble fly out at lightning speed. Could have killed someone.' 'Choko projectiles (C8) remind me of the 1950s when we Kogarah kids had an airgun but couldn't afford the pellets,' says Rhonda Ellis of Lismore. 'We'd shoot at each other using the berries from a privet hedge. Yes, it hurt.' 'Some 65 years ago, I discovered that toaster element wire wound around the fuse of a double bunger and connected to a car battery would light the bunger,' writes Peter Crowfoot of Normanhurst. 'A friend and I buried a number of these wired bungers along both sides of a local forest walking path and ran wires from each one back to a hiding place. When suitable (i.e. non-adult) test subjects appeared and were in position, we connected the wires to a battery in random order. The result was pandemonium, as we had hoped. Note: no person was injured by this experiment.' 'Wendy Illingworth and her Madeiran boomerangs (C8) has provided proof, once again, of the adage that once you can fake authenticity, you're on the road to success,' declares Marcus Daniel of Bellingen. 'The next challenge is to fake sincerity, then you've really got it made.' Regarding the possibility of aliens watching from above (C8) as we carry our dogs' deposits around in little bags, Jack Dikian of Mosman thinks 'should they be able to read our companions' mind -– it would be 'My name isn't Rover, and I am not specially a good boy'.'
