This fancy, medium-rare cheeseburger was the best thing we ate this week

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As a food writer, I often get asked the same three questions ("What's the best restaurant in New Jersey?", "Are there any foods you don't eat?" and "How do you stay so skinny?"), but you guys know that, because I've told you that before.
Prior to my professional life, however, I was asked stereotypical "normal person" questions, to which "What was your most embarrassing moment" seemed very common.
Well, foodies, since you already have the answer to the eats queries, here's my tale of humiliation:
When I was four, my parents signed me up for karate class at the local YMCA.
On the first day, I was delighted to figure out we'd be doing the break-the-board thing, even though all of us were newbies. I was terrified, though, that I wouldn't be able to crack the wood — despite the fact that I'd seen every other preschooler before me destroy it with ease.
The teacher called my name, and I approached the front of the room.
Staring intently at the plank, I inhaled, swung my arm back and threw a "HI-YA" so hard I missed the board completely, turned 360-degrees in the air and ultimately fell on my back.
For a moment, I laid in silence. After a few seconds, a kindergartner yelled "Guys! Look at the stupid girl!"
Everybody laughed.
The joke was on her, though, because — after she scared me into quitting — my mom switched me to the cooking class, and I spent the remainder of my seven week YMCA session baking madeleines and quiche.
So, if you're reading this, Shannon Walsh, I hope you enjoyed your 49 days punching mats.
My cookies were great.
Here are the four best things I ate this week.
Caramelized onions melt into gruyère, which melts into a medium-rare patty, on this posh Saddle River Cafe sandwich. Called the Truffle Burger, the juicy handheld is probably the fanciest cheeseburger on the block (especially topped with truffle aioli and thick-sliced bacon).
Perusing its menu description, then, I already knew the sammie had a high chance of making this list. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I was 99% confident it would top my weekly highlights completely.
As you can tell, I was right.
That doesn't come as a surprise, though, because when fine dining chefs — particularly at the level of Jamie Knott — approach comfort fare, the intersection of culinary prowess with high-fat ingredients results in an absolute God-tier genre of food.
Go: 171 E Saddle River Road; 201-282-2300, saddlerivercafe.com.
I have a few standards for a really delicious croqueta.
For one, the filling needs to be as gooey and drippy as possible. I don't want any starchy, potato-loaded centers, or a mixture reminiscent of a cod fritter.
Second, the shell around my deep-fried wonder ball needs to be paper thin. I love a layer of breading that resembles the crust around a jalapeño popper, because it lets the liquid-y filling shine while subtly providing the dish with a bit of crunch.
Both of those marks were met in the Shrimp and Scallop Croquet at Stern & Bow. Featuring generous chunks of fresh seafood swimming in a sriracha-infused sauce, the crispy appetizer was pretty much a golfball-sized, savory Gusher.
Go: 171 Schraalenburgh Road; 201-750-3350, sternandbowrestaurant.com.
There are plenty of omakases (sushi tasting experiences) around the New York metropolitan region. In contemporary dining establishments, however, we commonly see nigiri covered in spicy mayo, handrolls drowning in eel sauce or a set list that cheats its way to being good with lots of wagyu (FYI, chefs, beef is not a fish).
While there's a time and place for those enhancements, it's sometimes nice to enjoy a traditional Japanese omakase in which the fish are prepared in a manner that simply lets their flavors shine.
That authentic, no-frills presentation is the name of the game at Sushi Aoki, an intimate seafood oasis in Fort Lee.
Each night, chef Masashi Aoki treats his 20 guests (two seatings of 10) to toro, golden eye snapper, shima-aji, uni and more; all served in straightforward, unostentatious ways that have you feeling as though you've escaped to Japan.
Go: 215 Main St. (Suite 104), Fort Lee; 201-663-5756, sushiaokiusa.com.
And, on the flip side of truffles and salmon roe, we have this ShopRite showstopper.
Because — as much as I love a good hamachi crudo — it'll never be peanut butter.
Go: I found my box at the Parsippany ShopRite (808 Route 46).
Want more on this week's latest food news? Check out some of my (and others') best articles at NorthJersey.com/food.
Until next week, eaters.
May the odds of locating that aforementioned, limited edition M&M's superstar be ever in your favor.
Kara VanDooijeweert is a food writer for NorthJersey.com and The Record. If you can't find her in Jersey's best restaurants, she's probably off running a race course in the mountains. Catch her on Instagram: @karanicolev & @northjerseyeats, and sign up for her North Jersey Eats newsletter.
This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Saddle River Cafe's truffle burger was the best thing we ate this week