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A critical fight over 'quality' child care could shape millions of kids

A critical fight over 'quality' child care could shape millions of kids

Vox19-05-2025

is a policy correspondent for Vox covering social policy. She focuses on housing, schools, homelessness, child care, and abortion rights, and has been reporting on these issues for more than a decade.
America's lack of affordable child care has brought a long-simmering question to a boil: What exactly makes child care 'good'?
Everyone wants quality care for kids, and the need for child care or preschool to be considered 'high quality' has been embraced by researchers, providers, parents, and policymakers for years. But with rising costs and uneven availability, parents, providers, and policymakers find themselves increasingly divided over whether 'quality' should be measured by caregivers' credentials or by toddlers' happiness, by structured learning outcomes, or by parent preference.
Progressives generally champion credentialed and well-paid teachers, academic standards, and standardized ratings as essential for aiding children's development. Conservatives counter that such requirements inflate costs while devaluing the nurturing care that parents and community caregivers provide.
The answer to the question of what 'quality' means shapes everything from household budgets to workforce participation to children's school readiness — yet there is no clear consensus on what exactly that entails or how to measure it.
'People know it when they see it, but it's hard to define,' said Josh McCabe, director of social policy at the Niskanen Center think tank.
As regulations shift with political winds, the question has become more salient: Who defines quality, and at what cost to kids, families, and society?
Mixed-quality quality metrics
States have sought ways to measure, improve, and communicate the components of quality to parents and providers alike. Their solution: developing rating systems that attempt to boil aspects of child care settings down into simple metrics, much like hotel or restaurant reviews.
Over the past two decades, such Quality Rating and Improvement Systems (QRIS) have become the primary method for assessing child care quality. These systems, which vary significantly across states, award ratings based on multiple dimensions, including teacher qualifications (such as holding a child development associate credential or a degree in early childhood education); learning environments (including safe teacher-to-child ratios, classroom cleanliness, and availability of age-appropriate books and toys); administrative practices (like documented emergency procedures and business management systems), and the caliber of child-adult interactions (measured through classroom observations).
By 2020, nearly all states had implemented some form of QRIS, though participation remains voluntary in many areas. These systems vary widely — some use star ratings (one to five stars), others use tiers or categories. States prioritize different elements: Some emphasize school readiness, others focus on health and safety, cultural responsiveness, or infant and toddler care. Financial incentives also differ, with states offering a variety of supports, technical assistance, and bonuses for higher scores.
The evidence is mixed, though, on whether these ratings actually predict better outcomes for children. 'If we're looking at what supports children's well-being and development, it's the quality of the interactions, the relations with the caregiver,' Steven Barnett, senior director of the National Institute for Early Education Research, told me. Yet these critical interactions carry relatively little weight in some QRIS systems, overshadowed by structural features that are easier to quantify and less costly to implement.
The QRIS ratings nonetheless drive real behavior. 'The scoring matters in that providers and parents react to it,' McCabe said. 'But like the US News and World Report rankings, I don't know if it actually makes them better colleges or students.'
A 2019 Department of Education study found that children who attended higher-rated programs according to QRIS did not have better developmental outcomes than those attending lower-rated ones. This echoed earlier research that found that the overall QRIS ratings were less predictive of child learning than a single measure of teacher-child interactions.
'Quality, in some sense, can take many different forms, and perhaps it should, because child care and early learning is not one-size-fits-all.' — Hailey Gibbs, associate director of Early Childhood Policy at the Center for American Progress
Further research found 'little evidence' that adopting QRIS in Head Start improved quality when measured against the Head Start Program Performance Standards — the quality benchmarks the federal preschool programs must meet. QRIS showed no significant boost to teacher qualifications or teacher-child interactions. More troublingly, research found that QRIS adoption actually increased annual teacher turnover — potentially undermining the very stability that quality programs need.
These rating systems can also create a troubling cycle, said Hailey Gibbs, associate director of early childhood policy at the Center for American Progress. Lower-rated programs receive fewer resources, making it even harder for them to improve. Gibbs notes there's 'valid criticism' that QRIS systems often lack cultural sensitivity and tend to disregard the perspectives of enrolled families when adjudicating which programs are good or bad.
This fundamental tension — between standardized measurement and the complex, relationship-based reality of quality care — remains at the heart of ongoing debates about how best to ensure positive outcomes for America's youngest children. As sociologist Zach Griffen notes of performance measurement across other sectors like health care and K-12 schooling, quality assessment tools can be 'wildly successful in policy research at the same time as they fall apart in real-world applications.'
So what actually is quality?
While the QRIS measure of 'quality' might be contentious, the stakes are high because quality itself does seem to really affect kids' life trajectories. Back in 2000, the National Academies of Sciences published a 600-page report concluding that both nurturing parenting and caregiving relationships were essential for early childhood development, and that well-designed programs could help improve the lives of kids growing up in poverty in particular.
Another landmark federal study tracked more than 1,300 children from infancy through adolescence. Emerging from the contentious 'day care wars' of the 1980s over whether maternal employment and non-parental care harmed children, the researchers found that 'higher-quality' care predicted better cognitive and language development. The study highlighted responsive adult-child relationships as the most critical quality factor, with elements like staff ratios and group sizes also playing important roles.
These early studies established a foundation for understanding quality, but even today early childhood experts describe different visions. Ruth Friedman, who directed the Office of Child Care during the Biden administration, defines quality as care that ensures safety, engaging activities, and 'nurturing, consistent, and well-compensated caregivers who support development across multiple domains — including language, early math and science, social-emotional, and physical growth,' she told me.
Some advocates stress that trained caregivers are essential for building the kind of stable, high-quality workforce that children need. 'All teachers need to have a foundational knowledge of child development…[with] formal education and training in early childhood education,' the Center for American Progress wrote in a 'Quality 101' report published in 2017.
Other experts say the growing demand for professional training devalues the kind of care offered by parents, grandparents, and other informal community leaders. 'What we realize [matters] is the quality of the relationship and [that isn't] typically things you can measure in a simple way, like a child-adult ratio,' said Jenet Erickson, a professor of religious education at Brigham Young University and a researcher of maternal and child well-being. 'It's just not as simple as having trained caregivers. … We need more flexibility in who can provide care, so families can say, 'We really like this neighborhood grandmother because of the way she relates to our children, and we're less concerned about whether or not she got a degree in human development.''
There is perhaps more agreement, however, on what constitutes unacceptably poor care. Gibbs identified warning signs that cross cultural boundaries: 'disorganized or unsafe spaces…young children wandering aimlessly.' These align with the National Academies' findings about the lowest-quality settings: caregivers ignoring children's bids for attention, few appropriate toys, and children spending time 'unengaged with adults, other children, or materials.'
Finding the balance between acceptable care and parent preferences can be tricky, especially when public funding is involved and lawmakers pursue multiple policy objectives at once, like promoting child development, supporting moms in the workforce, advancing educational equity, and even broader social concerns like reducing crime or increasing GDP.
The Center for American Progress has grown somewhat less prescriptive about quality since it published its 'Quality 101' report in 2017. 'Quality, in some sense, can take many different forms, and perhaps it should, because child care and early learning is not one-size-fits-all,' Gibbs told me, noting that some home-based child care options 'are extremely high quality' yet nevertheless are sometimes 'viewed as second tier to school-like center-based care' when it comes to state ratings.
The future of quality standards
The landscape of child care quality measurement appears poised for significant shifts. The Build Back Better Act, proposed during the Biden administration, represented perhaps the most ambitious federal effort to date to elevate child care quality standards nationwide.
States would have been required to develop tiered QRIS frameworks aligned with the federal Head Start preschool standards, and mandate child care provider participation in QRIS to receive federal money. Most significantly, payment rates would have been directly linked to quality ratings — so child care programs achieving higher QRIS scores would have received higher reimbursement rates.
However, with the transition to a new administration, a fundamentally different approach is emerging, as states move to reduce restrictions conservatives see as driving up costs without improving outcomes or access.
This regulatory rollback fits within a broader conservative vision reshaping child care — one that prioritizes less expensive home-based programs over professionally staffed centers, de-emphasizes academic credentials and curricula, and often encourages more mothers to stay home to raise their children. As Idaho Rep. Rod Furniss argued when promoting his deregulation bill, 'perhaps the most important' small business is the home day care, 'where moms can stay home and supplement the household income and watch a few kids.'
This approach also aligns with principles outlined in the American Enterprise Institute's 2024 'Three Principles for Conservative Early-Childhood Policy,' which advocated for subsidizing 'lower-cost' options while keeping 'children connected to their families.'
Conservatives specifically warn against what they call the 'Bill de Blasio model' — folding early childhood education into the credentialing, unionization, and compensation structure of K-12 teachers. This approach, which many progressive advocates view as essential for stable and quality care, is viewed by many on the right as a recipe for unsustainable costs.
As control shifts in Washington, the very definitions of quality that have guided policy for decades may soon change. But the core questions remain unresolved: What matters most in determining quality and how do we capture it? How should we balance measurable outcomes with family preferences? What trade-offs between quality, affordability, and access are Americans prepared to make? And ultimately, what kind of care do American children deserve?

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The relationship one has with their in-laws can be fraught and perplexing, friendly and intimate, polite and distant. The relationship one has with their in-laws can be fraught and perplexing, friendly and intimate, polite and distant. They're not the people you've chosen to bind yourself to, but you're still inextricably linked as long as you're with your partner. In-laws enjoy all the trappings and status of family, but aren't quite. Spending time with them can feel obligatory and not totally enjoyable. At the same time, there are no clearly defined expectations for what in-law relationships should look like, beyond the stereotypes. So what do you owe your partner's families of origin? They may not be your family, but they're probably going to be in your life in some form or fashion. They might never be a proxy for your own mother or sibling, but that doesn't mean they can't come close. The in-law stereotype As long as people have married, they have inherited their spouse's family. For centuries, parents aimed to pair their children based on the reputation, power, and wealth of a neighboring family, to create alliances through marriage. In many cultures worldwide, newlyweds typically moved in or near the husband's family. 'The aim of marriage was to acquire useful in-laws or gain political or economic advantage,' writes Stephanie Coontz in the 2005 book Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. By the 1920s, Coontz writes, 'marital privacy was more important than adults' ties with their parents' and, as a result, the number of couples who lived with their parents dropped precipitously over the first half of the 20th century. As couples established themselves as independent entities, in-laws — especially mothers-in-law — came to be seen as prying interlopers, as evidenced in the 1954 book In Laws, Pro & Con. 'Many a mother-in-law sounds baffled, bewildered, and bitter in her role,' wrote the book's author Evelyn Millis Duvall. 'She reports that anything she does is misconstrued by her sons- and daughters-in-law. If she leaves them alone, she is being neglectful; if she is nice to them, she is being twofaced; if she appears interested in what they are doing, she is meddling; if she keeps out of their affairs, she is not interested in them — she just can't win!' Since then, the cultural view of in-laws in America has stayed remarkably consistent, says Sylvia Mikucki-Enyart, an associate professor of communication studies at the University of Iowa. The caricature of the overbearing mother-in-law still has strong cultural sway — TV and movie representations abound. In real life, there are entire Reddit communities dedicated to meddlesome 'MILs.' Now, try to think of a single well-known father-in-law joke. 'In-law relationships are this weird between place of being family but not being the same intensity of family as family origin.' Beyond these broad stereotypes, cultural and familial expectations and traditions influence the in-law relationship. For instance, daughters-in-law in Asian American families reported feeling anxious, angry, and confused as a result of their in-laws' traditional cultural expectations to be subservient and deferential, according to one study. Other research found that among Black families, sons-in-law sharing interests with their fathers-in-law and making an effort to engage in family activities helped strengthen their bond. The way you interact with your in-laws is largely shaped by your partner's example. After all, if it weren't for them, you probably wouldn't have any connection to these people at all. Marrying someone who has a history of regularly spending time with their family of origin is a strong indication that you'll likely see more of these people in the future. 'I would take my guide from my wife,' says Geoffrey Greif, a distinguished university professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and co-author of In-Law Relationships: Mothers, Daughters, Fathers, and Sons. 'How close does she want me to be with her father and mother?' These expectations shouldn't come as a surprise — they're almost certain to come up while a couple is dating. As the relationship progresses and you gain insight into your partner's familial ties, you may learn how much they value weekly hangouts with their siblings or big gatherings for holidays. A close-knit family dynamic can, for some, be a green flag. Early on in his relationship with his now-wife Melli, Steven Schenberg, a 37-year-old in transportation logistics in Chicago, realized they'd not only be marrying each other but also each other's families. Within the first few months of dating, Schenberg grabbed dinner with one of Melli's sisters, attended the family's annual New Year's Day brunch, and slept on the floor of the hotel room Melli shared with her sisters at a wedding. Melli's brother is now one of Schenberg's best friends — a friendship that likely wouldn't have happened had they not met through Melli. Schenberg credits the closeness he maintains with his wife's family as part luck, part shared values. 'I was raised in a tight family nucleus,' he says. 'Melli was the same way.' The weird in-between space in-laws occupy Just because in-laws occupy a place of prominence in your partner's life doesn't necessarily guarantee them a similarly intimate space in yours. After all, you lack a deep shared history. There's always a degree to which you'll always play catch-up. 'In-law relationships are this weird between place of being family but not being the same intensity of family as family origin,' says Gretchen Perry, an associate professor of social work at the University of Northern British Columbia. 'When you have conflict, often, there's less tolerance for the intensity of that conflict [than] with your own family of origin.' And these relationships can be primed for conflict: too involved in-laws, absent in-laws, pushy in-laws, cheap in-laws, too-invested-in-their-traditions in-laws. Because there are fewer cultural norms offering a clear example of normative in-law relationships in Western societies, Mikucki-Enyart says, uncertainty abounds. 'Versus other cultures where when you get married, you go live with your husband's family and you're deferential to your mother-in-law,' she says. 'There are other cultures where it's very clearly outlined how these in-law relationships go, and in the US, we really don't have that.' In her research, Mikucki-Enyart has observed two types of uncertainty arise within in-law relationships: relational uncertainty (What kind of relationship do I want with this person? How often do we interact?) and family level uncertainty (How do we balance time with each family? How will grandparents interact with children?) The latter is usually more impactful, Mikucki-Enyart says, especially when grandchildren enter the picture. If a parent-in-law is uncertain about how best to help their adult child and their spouse care for their own kids, they may sacrifice closeness with their grandkids. 'There are other cultures where it's very clearly outlined how these in-law relationships go, and in the US, we really don't have that.' Mother-in-law relationships are typically the ones that are more fraught, at least in heterosexual relationships. This is because mothers have more points of contact within families. Women are still socialized and are expected to carry the bulk of child rearing and kin keeping, Mikucki-Enyart says, and a scarcity mindset pits mothers against their child's partner. 'There's not enough for all of us,' she says. 'We have to fight for a position and a spot, which leads to…it's either her or me. Not 'no, we can both love him and have individual relationships with this linchpin person.'' The recent 'boy mom' phenomenon only further ties a mother's identity to her male children — the trope suggests that relinquishing her son to a romantic partner means a woman losing a part of herself, too. Fathers-in-law, meanwhile, are seen as protectors. 'Men aren't involved in these relational roles, or their protectiveness is fulfilling their role,' Mikucki-Enyart says. How to have a pleasant-enough relationship with your in-laws Discuss how you want the relationship to look: As your relationship gets serious, talk with your partner about the relationship you hope to have with each set of parents. Set boundaries, too. How will you celebrate holidays? How will you address potential issues with the other's parents? If you plan on having children, how much access will each set of grandparents have? How often will you spend time with extended families? What will you do if parents want to see you more than you'd like? You might also have this conversation with your (future) in-laws if you're comfortable. It's never too late to have these talks. Determine how you'll navigate conflict: The blood relative is always responsible for smoothing over any conflicts. They should never throw their partner under the bus when bringing up concerns to their family of origin. Try using 'I' or 'we' statements: 'We love it when you visit, but could you give us a heads up next time?' Be prepared for compromises: Building a new family unit requires renegotiating old rituals. If your in-laws want you to come to their house for the holidays out of tradition, but you want to see your family, too, suggest alternatives: you'll go to their house for Thanksgiving and your parents for Christmas or Hanukkah. The more you buy into the cliches, the more they become self-fulfilling prophecies. 'Parents, especially mothers-in-law, are really in this damned if they do, damned if they don't position,' Mikucki-Enyart says. 'They're very aware of the negative stereotype surrounding them. So sometimes then they'll go to the extreme and really, give the couple space. ... Then children are like, 'Well, my mother-in-law doesn't even reach out, she doesn't even care,' and when she does, it's too much.' What do we owe in-laws? Whether an in-law falls under the umbrella of kin depends on how you define family. Those with a more narrow view of family — spouse and children — may be less inclined to bend over backwards to appease their mother-in-law. Still, in most cases, it's worth maintaining at least a cordial relationship with your in-laws for the benefit of your spouse or children. That's assuming you're treated with the same respect. Rina, a 31-year-old who works in hotel customer service in Toronto, used to consider her husband's sister someone reliable, someone worth confiding in. But over time, Rina's sister-in-law cut off contact with her, despite maintaining daily calls with her brother. At family gatherings, Rina's sister-in-law would ignore her and never told her kids to call her Aunt Rina. Recently, Rina's sister-in-law introduced her new baby to everyone in the family — except Rina. She was heartbroken. Rina, whose last name is being withheld so she can speak freely about her family, told her husband that his sister's actions made her feel like an outcast. 'He sees the problem,' Rina says in an email, 'and really wanted to help out.' He offered to talk to his sister, but Rina stopped him. It would only cause more drama. Related How to set boundaries with grandparents Knowing your in-laws, flaws and all, helps blunt the pain of any slights. In her research examining relationships between mothers- and daughters-in-law of East Asian descent, psychologist Angela Gwak found that though they were stressed by their mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law learned to cope with them over time. 'They've learned to accept them, but not like [their] family of origin,' Gwak says, 'but just learn to coexist together. The stress is less jarring because they know and can predict how they would respond to certain circumstances or situations.' Proof (and perhaps solace) that you may not be able to completely live without your in-laws, but you can learn to live with them.

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