Single pic exposes how grim Sydney dating really is
An image posted to TikTok of the Barangaroo skyline was accompanied by a simple question – asking people to share tales of their worst date in the Harbour City — and the answers did not disappoint.
Hordes of social media users unashamedly unloaded their dating traumas. Some were about getting stiffed on the bill at dinner. Some called out dating culture in general. Others shared very specific details of their dud dates. To sum it up — if you don't laugh, you'll cry. Yes, it's that dark.
'Took her to a nice restaurant. She ordered a $30 drink. Didn't like the drink, so she ordered another. Didn't like that one either, so she ordered a THIRD and wasted the other two,' one said.
'She ordered four lots of food to 'try'. Only ate half of it and took the rest home in three takeaway boxes. Bill was $250. I didn't realise this date was supposed to be her meal prep for the week.'
Another asked: 'What date? People don't approach you in Sydney.'
'Picked me up and asked me where I wanna go to eat. I said 'I don't know. I thought you had a plan',' one social media user commented.
'He took me to Macca's. I was put off so I just asked for an ice cream and he made me pay for my it and complained that I expected him to pay for my 80c ice cream.'
Another revealed: 'Guy asks me out. I order a cocktail. He says 'oh how many of those are you gonna have? I don't wanna have to call my dad for money to cover the bill later'. He was 46.'
'It got so bad I moved states,' another shared.
One social media user added: 'I told him I don't drink and he took me bar hopping.'
'The problem with dating in Sydney is that if you don't live next door to them you might as well live on Mars, because it's just as much effort to get them to meet you halfway,' one commented.
Another weighed in: 'This bad culture is solely because of dating apps.'
'Went on a date with someone, 2nd date in they wanted my social media passwords. I never dropped someone back at their place so quick in my life. No thanks,' shared someone.
One commented: 'HE ASKED ME FOR RENT MONEY, after meeting ONCE. And I had to pick him up and I got us food and he ate it all LEFT ME NOTHING and then tried to kiss me.'
'What dates? I'm just a certified pen pal at this point,' one added.
Another said: 'He took me to Woolies on the first date and proceeded to buy his mum groceries and he kept getting calls from his mum the entire time.'
'I was 24 and he was 32. When I told him my age he gasped, said I'm so old and proceeded to say his grandmother had four kids at my age. He kept swearing, zero decorum and decency,' one person divulged.
Samantha Jayne, a relationship expert, was left asking one question after seeing what had unfolded in the comment section.
'Where has the romance gone?'
She said the experience of Sydneysiders was 'sad' and showed just how many people were lacking empathy when it came to the dating scene. She did point out a lot of these were 'extreme cases' and most were 'fortunate cases of dodging a bullet'.
'The common theme is most bad dates are when the focus is on the superficial things,' she said.
'The cause is often because there's no emotional connection established and therefore no empathy. It's all about what is in it for me.
'Empathy requires some level of understanding or resonance with another person's emotions — and if that connection hasn't formed, their ability (or willingness) to empathise might feel absent.'
Ms Jayne said the recurring theme was empty and disposable, and stemmed from a 'grass is always greener' perspective, thanks to the pick-up culture that has long been established in Sydney.
'Ultimately, even the people who are looking for the next best thing feel lonely and want a connection, in many cases the most insecure people reject before they get rejected or self sabotage to prevent a real connection forming,' she said.
So, is Sydney a worse place for love than other cities in the world? According to Ms Jayne, yes.
'I love Sydney, I think it's one of the most beautiful places in the world but according to Time Out Magazine the city is a battlefield when it comes to love,' she said.
'An annual survey conducted ranked Sydney as one of the top 10 worst places to find love.
'Sydney ranks among 10 worst places in the world for finding love.'
She pointed out that Sydneysiders have high expectations, and due to cost of living there is a focus on status, wealth and physical appearance. She said it's also a very 'clique' based city with tight-knit social circles.
'Often the two most common questions asked are 'Where do you live' and 'What do you do?' Most people date within their stereotypical suburbs which can create the socio economic divide,' she explained.
Ms Jayne said another reason first dates can feel awkward and performative is, because at the end of the day, they are surface level interactions. She said without depth they may not feel invested enough to feel vulnerable. It can lead to a cycle of hurt and avoiding feeling vulnerable.
'Bottom line is some people have mismatched intentions while you may be wanting something genuine. A person may have watched one too many drama filled dating shows as they try to keep things cool,' she said.
'Dating is mostly based on perceptions and individual experiences, it is important to consider mindset and filtering.
'If you have a bad date, dust yourself off and try again. Don't let it get you down, instead laugh it off and get out there and meet someone who is aligned and makes you feel good.'
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