BBC sports presenter and All-Ireland winner open up on toll of miscarriages
The latest episode of the BBC GAA Social tackled an important issue with host Thomas Niblock and Galway All-Ireland winning hurler Johnny Glynn discussing the miscarriages their wives have suffered, IVF and the effect it has had on themselves and their partners.
In a powerful podcast, BBC presenter Niblock talked about the three miscarriages himself and his wife, Kirstie, have had to deal with, while Glynn, who is based in New York, spoke about going through IVF with his partner Serena.
Derry man Niblock stressed how he felt that if Glynn was prepared to discuss his experiences publicly that it would be wrong of him not to do so, before he began his personal story.
'It is not an exaggeration in any way - my family and friends would know this - we were very close to losing Kirstie,' said Niblock. 'So that shapes you. You go from your fertility after that and I am thinking, it would be amazing and I'd love to have kids, like most people would.
'Not all - but certainly most. But at the same time when you nearly lose your wife that's the game changer for me and that's the priority. That shapes you as well.
'Then time passes by and you definitely do want kids. So that's where we're at, at the minute.
'We haven't tried IVF. That may be coming down the pathway. My wife is very lucky. She has a great set of friends - been really supportive towards her. She's a very strong person.
'She doesn't take things too seriously whereas everybody I would find would be quite different in this scenario. She has a good head on her shoulders.
'But it still is heavy stuff. I just feel it would be hypocritical if I didn't put myself out there, even though it's a bit weird to be talking about it.'
Glynn said his story was 'very similar,' adding, 'Unfortunately we've had a few miscarriages. We've had an ectopic pregnancy. We've done a few rounds of IVF.
'It's a heavy thing now. It's tough. It's very tough. I'd always say it. When you are growing up, that's one thing that's uneducated in Ireland - is how to actually have a baby.
'When I was a young lad growing up, you are nearly taught that you'd look at a girl without a condom and she'd surely get pregnant.
'It's a real mind boggling situation. My wife Serena, there is nobody in the world who deserves a child more than her.
'She is unbelievable with kids. She has time for everyone. To be honest just the last two years have been very tough on her, very, very tough.
'We are after finishing our fifth round of IVF transfers and they've all been unsuccessful so far. To be honest with you, where we are at I don't know exactly. I don't know how we are going to get there yet but we are going to get there.
'I think we had our ectopic and a few people heard - nice messages and different things. There was one message, from our physio with the senior footballers.
'She sent us a message and she just said, 'Kids won't pass deserving parents.' And I do believe that.
'I firmly believe that me and Serena are meant to be parents and it's going to happen. It might be taking a little bit longer, but it's going to happen. I firmly, firmly believe that and know it.
'It stuck with me. I know we deserve to be parents, so it's going to happen. It's just taking a bit of time.
'Everyone goes through tough times. My brother's going through tough times. His wife Sophie, she buried her two parents in the last month - god rest them.
'When we do have kids and if they grow up to be healthy and fine, do you know what I'll take these two years.
'I'll take this tough time because it's only going to be for a little bit of time. We are going to get over it. We are going to be fine.
'Not to sound soft or anything, but as long as myself and Serena have each other, we'll be okay.'
The pair also discussed the process of going to have their sperm tested by doctors hoping the issue might have been with them, and why they are so open with people who inadvertently ask them when are they having kids - even though it hurts them.
Thomas Niblock explained what he'd hear sometimes: 'No kids yet Tommy?'
'I would have known, even not going through our experience, if someone is married a year or two and they are in their 30s and there's no kids, there might be a wee issue there. Don't maybe say something to them.
'So I push back and say, 'To be honest, we've had three miscarriages' and the face just drops. But I feel that's important to say that.
'It's not me being guarded. It's just maybe more, 'you should have a wee think about that.'
'I am grand with it and it doesn't bother me, but I definitely know of other people it does.
'I am always amazed by the response of so many people. Once you tell people you've had a miscarriage, they'll say, 'Tommy, know all about it, one or two myself.'
'Now their stage is different. This is what I think, my whole thing is if you have two or three kids and you have two or three miscarriages before, I'd be l00percent with that.
'It's not mitigation against what happened in the past but your journey is a past tense one.
'But I think if you are in the midst of it and you don't have any kids and your story to tell is - in my case three miscarriages - you are in a very different place. Not in a mean way but because so many people have no history of talking about it. It is bit weird for me even talking about this
'In my life I'd say this is the most I've ever put myself out there so I am at fault as much as anybody else, because it's not talked about. It's not normalised and people don't really know what way to deal about it.'
The full podcast is available on BBC Sounds here.
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