Millie Mackintosh reveals she secretly struggled with her sexuality during her battle with alcohol and admits she used to 'drunkenly make out with girls' before getting sober
has revealed she was secretly struggling with her sexuality at the height of her battle with alcohol.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 35, has spoken openly about her drinking problems before going sober in 2022, and has since released a book about her struggles, titled Bad Drunk.
Now in an interview on her pal Caggie Dunlop 's Saturn Returns Podcast, Millie has revealed that during her teenage years, she struggled to express her attraction to women, and would only find the courage to 'kiss' them when she was drunk.
She went onto admit that she had developed 'intimacy issues' with women after being bullied at an all-girls school, and would upset her male partners by brazenly kissing girls when she was drinking.
Millie said: 'As a teen when I would drink, I would make out with women, but that's not something I felt confident to do when I was sober...
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'I had crushes on girls at school and I just didn't have the awareness to go ''I like girls as well.'' I'd just have crushes and get all weird about them. I remember having sleepovets and going ''I wonder if they're going to kiss me.''
Millie added that a lot of her struggles have been unpacked in therapy, telling Caggie: 'I've explored a lot of my relationship to women, I was bullied so I definitely have intimacy issues with women, but there's this attraction as well.
'Obviously I'm married to a man, it's not something that affects our relationship at all now, but looking back and realising that was one of the reasons I drank in a destructive way, because there was a part of myself I didn't understand and I didn't know how to express it and I felt scared to express it.
'Everytime I would drink I would just keep doing it, even if I was in a relationship.'
Sharing the moment she opened up to husband Hugo Taylor about her sexuality, she revealed that he was incredibly supportive.
It comes after Millie admitted she 'barely recognises the person she used to be' as she shared a 'drunken' throwback snap in a candid Instagram post.
She went sober more than two years ago following the realisation that she had become an 'angry' drunk.
As an MIC original, Millie's early scenes on the show often revolved around partying and drinking leading to flare-ups with fellow cast members which she has since claimed got in the way of her relationships.
Continuing to raise awareness of sobriety and how much her life has changed for the good since going alcohol free, Millie wrote: 'Now vs. Then.
'Looking back ten years, I barely recognise the person I used to be—drinking heavily, always hungover, and completely lost.
'I was stuck in a cycle of self-medicating, not realising that the change I so badly needed was waiting for me on the other side of discomfort.
'Choosing an alcohol-free life has been the best decision I've ever made. It's the ultimate life hack—realising that I have the power to say no.
'Not because I have to, but because I get to. Sobriety isn't a sacrifice; it's a privilege, a gift I've given to myself, and one I'll never take for granted.
'The journey from bad drunk to alcohol-free has been the most transformative thing I've ever done. And hearing from so many of you who are on this path too means so much.
'Your messages about my book and your own experiences remind me why this conversation is so important.
'If you're navigating this too, know that you're not alone—we're in this together. How are you feeling about your own journey right now? Let's chat. ✨'
Millie decided to go and see a sober coach, who helped her and has now steered clear of booze for more than two years.
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