Latest news with #sexuality
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Lola Young opens up on her sexuality with X-rated comment
Lola Young has opened up about her sexuality after she responded to a comment on her recent TikTok video. The Messy hitmaker, 24, who wowed fans with her performance at Radio 1's Big Weekend in Liverpool on Sunday, took to social media later that day and fans went wild for the post. Dancing and lip syncing to CMAT's track Take A Sexy Picture Of Me, viewers headed straight to the comments to share their love for the star. While one fan joked: 'no man deserves this' Lola unexpectedly replied as she confirmed she does not identify as straight writing: 'i like p***y as well u kno' [sic]. CMAT also loved the tribute to her song as she replied with a series of crying emojis and penned: 'i love u so much this is the best day of my life. ur so fit'. From A-list scandals and red carpet mishaps to exclusive pictures and viral moments, subscribe to the Daily Mail's new Showbiz newsletter to stay in the loop. The lyrics of CMAT's new song go 'I did the butcher, I did the baker / I did the home and the family maker / I did schoolgirl fantasies / Oh, I did leg things and hand stuff / And single woman banter / Now tell me, what was in it for me?'. Lola, who is a Brit School alum, has soared to stardom this year after she went viral with her hit song Messy and was even nominated for two BRIT Awards. And earlier this month the star took to social media to promote her ADHD medicine, Concerta, because it makes her 'see mess now and clean things up'. Lola highlighted that there was an 'over glamorisation' of the hyperactivity disorder which has broken out among Gen Z with many 'jumping on the bandwagon'. But, she argued, the glorification of ADHD in recent years has also helped break down the stigma and made sure 'people are aware of what it's doing to your brain'. The Croydon-born pop singer said: 'Six months ago I started taking Concerta and it has genuinely changed my life, my thought processing and it's changed how I see mess and I can clear up, I feel genuinely a lot happier. 'My experience on Concerta has been incredible, and I would highly recommend it. I think it's super important to break down the stigma of taking medication for mental health because, right now, if you had a heart condition, you may take some. 'So we should make sure physical health and mental health are viewed on par.' CMAT also loved the tribute to her song as she replied with a series of crying emojis and penned: 'i love u so much this is the best day of my life. ur so fit' Lola also emphasised the importance of getting a diagnosis of ADHD can 'change your life'. She said: 'Getting a diagnosis can help you understand, but I would also recommend getting the medication I am on, which is Concerta.' Concerta is a drug that increases attention and decreases impulsiveness and hyperactivity in patients with ADHD. People taking the drug will feel a sense of euphoria, a higher energy level and better focus and concentration. It is estimated 230,000 people in the UK are taking the medication for ADHD. Lola revealed she wrote the hit single, Messy, in her bedroom and said: 'It's been speculated that it's about my parents. 'It's massively about some close family but it's a combination. 'It's more about myself, I am too messy. I've never held a broom in my life, everything in my life is a mess so it's a very fitting track.'
Daily Mail
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Where are the Virgin Island cast now? Inside the contestants' lives a year after filming - from new relationships to battling unemployment and surprising medical diagnosis
Virgin Island wrapped up on Tuesday evening and saw one of the stars lose their virginity in outrageous scenes. The finale saw the group of 12 adults - who had never had sex before - complete the sixth and final phase of the retreat - escalation - and that all meant different things to the contributors. Holly opened up about her sexuality to Dr Danielle Harel, Zac managed to finally get close with surrogate Kat Slade and Ben got fully naked in front of someone for the first time. Not only that, but Dave ticked off exactly what he wanted to do - have sexual intercourse with another person. The controversial programme was filmed in Croatia back in 2024 and many are keen to know what the cast are up to now - and if they have managed to do the deed. Right at the end of the last instalment, it was revealed that three more of the stars have lost their virginity, but that's far from all they've been up to since filming wrapped... Charlotte The show stated: 'Charlotte is enjoying her new found body confidence.' The 29 year old care worker grew as a person while taking part in the retreat and has since been 'more comfortable' in her skin, and 'in romantic situations'. But one big change that has occurred for Charlotte is her ADHD diagnosis - something that she now takes medication for. Ben Civil servant Ben, 30, is still a virgin, but he has been busy speed dating and has added three more women to his spreadsheet. However, shortly after returning home he lost his job as a parliamentary researcher for MP Michael Fabricant. Writing in The Times, Ben said: 'And yes, I am still a virgin, but I no longer consider it a source of humiliation or embarrassment. I wouldn't exactly call myself 'proud' to be a virgin either; it's just a simple description of my sexual status. 'While my experience on was extremely positive, my life since has been anything but, for reasons entirely unrelated to relationships or intimacy, I might add.' He added: 'Unfortunately, my worst fears were realised and in the early hours of July 5, my boss lost his seat, and I therefore lost my dream job. 'My shining source of pride, and the positive counterweight to my intimacy and self-image negativity, had been shattered into dust. 'Without a shadow of doubt this was the worst moment of my life.' Dave Dave has come on leaps and bounds since taking part in the retreat last year. According to the programme, accountant Dave, 24, has a new girlfriend. Speaking to The Sun about sleeping with his girlfriend, he said: 'Our first time together was amazing. 'I never would have been able to talk to her without this show. But I don't think my girlfriend will watch, for obvious reasons. 'She watched the first four episodes, but it's getting a bit much now. You don't want to see your partner with someone else, even if it was a year ago. 'She's openly said it's like watching a completely different person.' Emma During her time on the retreat the food worker, 23, grew close to her co-star Viraj and after filming they did go on a date together. However according to the show, nothing has happened between the pair since. Emma has been busy traveling Down Under. Holly Dog groomer Holly, 23, was one of the more quieter members of the cast, but opened up towards the end about her sexuality. She told Dr Danielle that she may be bisexual, but later bagged herself a boyfriend after filming and slept with him. The pair are no longer together. Speaking about the huge moment, Holly told The Sun: 'I messaged the chat almost as soon as it happened. I was excited to tell them.' Jason Admin worker Jason, 25, has joined dating app Hinge. One of the cast members caught his eye - Louise - and he did bite the bullet and ask her on a date. However she's not currently living in the UK, but isn't opposed going on one with him apparently. Louise At the end of Tuesday night's show, Virgin Island revealed that care advisor, 22, Louise has been busy travelling Australia. According to The Sun she would be down for a date with co-star Jason if she decides to return home from New Zealand. Pia The digital marketing assistant, 23, bravely opened up about her condition vaginismus. Vaginismus occurs when the vagina suddenly tightens up whenever penetration is attempted. During her time on the show she was able to enjoy pleasure with help from one of the sexperts. After her time in Croatia, Pia reunited with one of her exes. Drama student Tom, 23, spoke about his gender identity with the sexperts and the rest of the cast during the retreat. The show has said that he's had a 'fresh start' and decided to carry on studying and is still a student in Manchester. Since the show he hasn't slept with anyone. Tom said: 'I'm still single, and I haven't had a one-night stand in the last year, so I can't say I've put too much of it into practice.' Taylor Despite growing so much as a person, she's still not slept with anyone since the show After being terrified at the thought of being touched, Taylor managed to open up to surrogate Kat. The receptionist, 29, bravely spoke out about her sexuality and game out as a lesbian. Despite growing so much as a person, she's still not slept with anyone since the show. Viraj Personal trainer Viraj, 25, was very flirty with his co-star Emma during the retreat. The fitness fanatic is also travelling Australia, but not with Emma. Zac Delivery driver Zac, 28, was one of the most confident of the cast who joined the retreat. He was keen to lose his virginity during one of his sex surrogacy sessions, but it didn't end up happening. However he has said that expressing his thoughts and feelings is 'a work in progress'. At the end of the programme, the show stated: 'Zac is feeling positive for the future.' VIRGIN ISLAND: MEET THE CAST! NAME: EMMA AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: FOOD WORKER Emma said: 'I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered. 'I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn't relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas. 'The fact that this concept was being brought to TV made me realise being over 21 and never having sex was not as rare as I thought it was.' NAME: BEN AGED: 30 Ben said: 'A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media. I'm not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I'd struggled in this area. 'Funnily enough, my immediate response to his message was 'not a chance'.' NAME: DAVE AGE: 24 Dave said: 'An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime. 'I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible - a feeling I couldn't take anymore. 'I felt like it couldn't continue and I wanted to do something drastic to get my life back on track. NAME: JASON AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: ADMIN WORKER Jason said: 'I always felt like a failure in terms of intimacy and socialness. 'I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.' NAME: LOUISE AGE: 22 Louise said: 'I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, 'Why not?' 'I was at the point where I was willing to try anything. 'I had just accepted that there must've just been something wrong with me - I think the fact that my friends would see the word 'virgin' and think of me says enough to be honest.' NAME: CHARLOTTE AGE: 29 Charlotte said: 'Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure. 'I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.' NAME: HOLLY AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: DOG GROOMER She said: 'I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step. 'I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.' NAME: PIA AGE: 23 Pia said: 'I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus. 'I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex. 'Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.' NAME: TAYLOR AGE: 29 Taylor said: 'I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn't. 'When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn't ready for one of those. NAME: TOM AGE: 23 Tom said: 'I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries. 'It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.' NAME: VIRAJ AGE: 25 Viraj said: 'I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women. 'For me it wasn't about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk. 'This whole idea was encouraged by my friends for me to get out of my comfort zone and go through with this.' NAME: Zac AGE: 23 Zac said: 'There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show. This was of course describing me. 'At first I was like - no way, I'm not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn't really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.'
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Millie Mackintosh reveals she secretly struggled with her sexuality during her battle with alcohol and admits she used to 'drunkenly make out with girls' before getting sober
has revealed she was secretly struggling with her sexuality at the height of her battle with alcohol. The former Made In Chelsea star, 35, has spoken openly about her drinking problems before going sober in 2022, and has since released a book about her struggles, titled Bad Drunk. Now in an interview on her pal Caggie Dunlop 's Saturn Returns Podcast, Millie has revealed that during her teenage years, she struggled to express her attraction to women, and would only find the courage to 'kiss' them when she was drunk. She went onto admit that she had developed 'intimacy issues' with women after being bullied at an all-girls school, and would upset her male partners by brazenly kissing girls when she was drinking. Millie said: 'As a teen when I would drink, I would make out with women, but that's not something I felt confident to do when I was sober... From A-list scandals and red carpet mishaps to exclusive pictures and viral moments, subscribe to the DailyMail's new Showbiz newsletter to stay in the loop. 'I had crushes on girls at school and I just didn't have the awareness to go ''I like girls as well.'' I'd just have crushes and get all weird about them. I remember having sleepovets and going ''I wonder if they're going to kiss me.'' Millie added that a lot of her struggles have been unpacked in therapy, telling Caggie: 'I've explored a lot of my relationship to women, I was bullied so I definitely have intimacy issues with women, but there's this attraction as well. 'Obviously I'm married to a man, it's not something that affects our relationship at all now, but looking back and realising that was one of the reasons I drank in a destructive way, because there was a part of myself I didn't understand and I didn't know how to express it and I felt scared to express it. 'Everytime I would drink I would just keep doing it, even if I was in a relationship.' Sharing the moment she opened up to husband Hugo Taylor about her sexuality, she revealed that he was incredibly supportive. It comes after Millie admitted she 'barely recognises the person she used to be' as she shared a 'drunken' throwback snap in a candid Instagram post. She went sober more than two years ago following the realisation that she had become an 'angry' drunk. As an MIC original, Millie's early scenes on the show often revolved around partying and drinking leading to flare-ups with fellow cast members which she has since claimed got in the way of her relationships. Continuing to raise awareness of sobriety and how much her life has changed for the good since going alcohol free, Millie wrote: 'Now vs. Then. 'Looking back ten years, I barely recognise the person I used to be—drinking heavily, always hungover, and completely lost. 'I was stuck in a cycle of self-medicating, not realising that the change I so badly needed was waiting for me on the other side of discomfort. 'Choosing an alcohol-free life has been the best decision I've ever made. It's the ultimate life hack—realising that I have the power to say no. 'Not because I have to, but because I get to. Sobriety isn't a sacrifice; it's a privilege, a gift I've given to myself, and one I'll never take for granted. 'The journey from bad drunk to alcohol-free has been the most transformative thing I've ever done. And hearing from so many of you who are on this path too means so much. 'Your messages about my book and your own experiences remind me why this conversation is so important. 'If you're navigating this too, know that you're not alone—we're in this together. How are you feeling about your own journey right now? Let's chat. ✨' Millie decided to go and see a sober coach, who helped her and has now steered clear of booze for more than two years.
Telegraph
25-05-2025
- Health
- Telegraph
The professor who believes she's found the secret to sexual attraction in long-term relationships
Gurit Birnbaum loves sex. So fascinated is she by everything to do with human sexuality that she got a PhD in the subject, from Bar-Ilan University in Israel, nearly 30 years ago. Now she is professor of psychology at Reichman University, and a world-leading expert on sexual behaviour. 'When I was getting my PhD, in my early 20s, I was discovering the joys of sex,' Prof Birnbaum says. 'In the course of my research I found that sex can be a source of joy and excitement for some people, like me, but a source of agony and even boredom for others. I was quite shocked to find that not everyone enjoys sex as much as I do.' The differences are often most stark inside of long-term relationships, Prof Birnbaum has found. Some couples feel just as attracted to each other decades down the line as they did in the first days of their courtship, and have just as much sex, too, her research has found. For most however, desire declines over time, and frequency of sex with it. Women are especially likely to lose sexual attraction to their partners over the years. 'Humans make sex so complicated,' Prof Birnbaum says, but it's actually pretty straightforward. Sex 'plays an important part in how we form relationships with potential partners, and in holding those relationships together,' she explains. Although 'for some people, sex is not related to how they function within the relationship,' for the majority of us, 'the health of a couple's sex life reflects the health of their relationship as a whole'. The good news is that our sex lives are not unchangeable, even after years of dissatisfaction. In fact, they can be improved easily, Prof Birnbaum says. Here is what she knows about why desire wanes in long-term relationships, and how to keep enjoying sex well into old age – without having an affair. We risk breaking up when boredom sets in Most couples look back fondly on their first months or years together, remembering it as a time when feelings were strong and desire for each other was high. 'When you meet someone new that you want to have sex with, it often feels like a visceral, animal reaction,' she says. Those feelings serve an important evolutionary purpose: 'It's actually a cue that indicates to you at the gut level that this person might be a potential good match for you as a partner, and leads you to find out whether that person might be compatible with you, in that you have similar in hobbies or interests,' Prof Birnbaum explains. Over time, as we get used to our partners, we don't feel the same desperate need to have sex with them. On the one hand, this allows for a more intimate, stable connection to develop between two people. But at the same time, familiarity makes our partners seem less desirable, a change happens in almost all relationships. The honeymoon phase is a very real phenomenon: on average, those naturally high feelings of desire last for a year to two and a half years, Prof Birnbaum's research reveals, after which maintaining a vibrant sex life is much harder. Yet sex 'preserves connections that are emotionally satisfying,' and a lack thereof 'leaves the ones that don't meet our needs vulnerable to a breakup', says Prof Birnbaum. So finding a remedy can be crucial. 'Novelty is crucial to instigating sexual desire,' says Prof Birnbaum, 'and that doesn't have to mean sex toys and roleplay. Foreplay in this sense starts outside the bedroom.' Going on dates and making time for each other only becomes more crucial as a relationship ages. 'Doing things together means that you keep getting to know your partner and see them in different lights. Talk about new topics with each other, do new and exciting things together, learn new things together, try to observe your partner under different circumstances and in the different roles they take on throughout their lives, that you don't typically see. You will likely discover that your partner isn't this boring person you've already learnt everything about after all, and that there's still more you can learn about them and be excited about.' It's vital to also have your own life. 'It's important to have friends of your own and hobbies of your own so that you don't feel fully enmeshed. Often this helps to boost desire as it maintains the distinction between you and your partner, meaning that they remain someone you want to chase after.' Not all desire is the same At the beginning of a relationship, we typically experience 'spontaneous' desire, Prof Birnbaum says – the sort that 'drives the feeling that you can't get your hands off of each other'. But later on in relationships, 'responsive' desire takes over. 'This means that you have to be committed to the process, accept sexual advances from your partner or initiate sex before you're aroused in the way that you used to be, and really pay attention to what's working to get you or your partner in the mood. In this way, you may feel desire for your partner, get into the mood, and enjoy the sexual interaction, even if you were not there in the first place.' Key here is a couple's willingness to foster responsive desire for each other, rather than hoping to bring back the exact same drive from their early relationship. This plays a key part in Prof Birnbaum's 'relationship development model' of sexual desire. 'It's not only a lack of desire itself, but also an apathy to the situation and a reluctance to do the work and meet each others' needs that leads to relationship breakdown,' she explains. The couples who manage to keep their sex lives thriving for decades are the ones who 'respond to each other's needs, sexually and outside of the bedroom too,' Prof Birnbaum says. 'They're more attuned to what the other needs, and even if one of them doesn't want to have sex, they find a way to navigate the discomfort and find other ways to address the needs that sex can meet – for closeness, intimacy and physical touch.' Prof Birnbaum recommends that couples start trying to initiate this kind of desire an hour before they'd like to have sex: 'People like to feel courted because it makes them feel wanted.' Affairs are contagious If you've ever suspected that infidelity can catch, based on the behaviour of people in your own social groups, then you're right, at least according to Prof Birnbaum. 'Social behaviours can be contagious,' she says. 'It all depends on what's seen as normal within your social groups. If you see one of your friends cheat on their partner, then you're more likely to think that it's acceptable and not that bad, and to behave that way yourself.' We're all vulnerable to this, says Prof Birnbaum, but some more than others. 'Being intoxicated is one example of what makes someone more likely to cheat, but we are also much less likely to resist temptation if we aren't getting enough emotional resources from within our relationships,' she explains. 'People may cheat on their partners even if they are happy with them, however. It's the balance between the magnitude of temptations, whether you are too depleted to control your urges, and the circumstances that will determine how you will resolve the conflict between desire for others – which we all have – and the wish to maintain your current relationship.' 'When you meet someone new that you're attracted to, there's an internal conflict between maintaining the relationship and coping with the temptation,' she says. 'Personal differences like high levels of narcissistic traits, or feeling insecure, can impact whether cheating happens, as well as how valuable your relationship is to you.' Building a relationship that's invulnerable to infidelity is very difficult. But often, 'people just don't consider the negative consequences of their actions when they're in the midst of a strong attraction,' says Prof Birnbaum. 'In one of our studies, we asked people to take their partner's perspective when faced with advances from an attractive person, and we found that doing so made them less likely to cooperate with the flirtatious interaction, because their partner and the potential impact on them was on their mind, and they could empathise with the pain that their partner might potentially feel.' Women and men are different Women are much more likely than men to lose desire for sex altogether. Hormonal changes around the menopause can influence this, but there's more to it than that, Prof Birnbaum says. 'Women tend to be more attuned to their partner's behaviour, both positive and negative, so the relational context is likely to affect them more strongly when it comes to whether or not they want sex and whether they enjoy it,' she says. In the worst cases, where a couple are consistently in conflict, this can cause women to 'shut their sexual systems down entirely,' says Prof Birnbaum. 'When a woman's partner behaves destructively and is frequently critical, she will be likely to express that by backing away from her partner sexually, consciously or unconsciously. If her partner doesn't satisfy her emotional needs, or she feels that they aren't invested enough, then they'll just shut their sexual system.' This is also true when there's a perceived power imbalance, a belief that one person has more power than the other: 'it's a way of asserting yourself and taking back some control,' says Prof Birnbaum, and again it's not always conscious. Then there's the fact that 'many women feel that they get more work in terms of raising the kids and doing chores, on top of working, so naturally they're too exhausted for sex'. The remedy for this – aside from addressing the root causes – is improving your 'sexual communal strength', as Prof Birnbaum calls it. This is shorthand for 'the motivation you have to meet your partner's sexual needs, while still valuing your own needs, and seeing that this is reciprocated by your partner'. Research suggests that couples who have high sexual communal strength are happier in their relationships overall, regardless of how much sex they have, 'because they engaged in sex for positive, relationship-oriented reasons like fostering intimacy and connection'. This helps to improve the overall relationship 'climate', says Prof Birnbaum. It's also crucial not to say things to your partner that you can't take back. 'Even in the midst of a heated argument, you have to choose your words carefully and not say things that are going to hurt your partner and stay in their head for months,' Prof Birnbaum says. 'Women especially can find that this makes them very averse to sex.'
Times
23-05-2025
- Science
- Times
Gay lions and cheating chimps — what animals tell us about sexuality
Clarity comes, as so often, from one's testicles. Amid all the confusions surrounding modern sexuality — the gender fluidity, sexual fluidity, polyamory and poly-all-sorts-of-things — a truth, of sorts, can be found in gonads. Because dangling within, Nathan Lents explains in The Sexual Evolution, lies an entire evolutionary history of sexual politics. Consider a chimpanzee's balls, if you must. Chimpanzees have massive balls. Balls an Italian mafioso would boast about. The reason is simple, and something an Italian mafioso would be less proud of. When chimpanzees have sex the males can never be sure how many other males have recently had sex with the same female. This is a species that is, shall we say, sex-positive. So how do they ensure their own genes
