Kylan Darnell went viral during Bama Rush. Now, she's ready to talk about the toll it took.

Yahoo

2 days ago

On Aug. 6, 2022, Kylan Darnell, then a freshman at the University of Alabama, woke up with excited jitters. It was the first day of sorority recruitment, a milestone that she says felt like the start of adult life.
Dressed in a carefully curated outfit — Gucci patterned shorts, a Zara top and a stack of Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Kendra Scott bracelets — she hit 'record' from her dorm room, posting an outfit video that launched her into virality. It marked the beginning of her persona as a sorority girl, one that would come to define her online brand once she joined Zeta Tau Alpha at the school.
'Hey y'all, today is the first day of Bama Rush and I am so excited,' Darnell shared in a TikTok as she walked through her outfit of the day, or #OOTD. 'I'm so excited for this new chapter of my life and I hope you stay tuned with me.'
Nearly four years and more than a million followers later, Darnell has become the face of 'Rush Tok,' the nickname for the corner of the internet documenting sorority recruitment. But behind the brand deals, designer outfits and elaborate costumes, the process was taking a toll.
'When I did essentially get famous online, I was really vulnerable,' Darnell says. 'I didn't really know how to navigate it… I tried my best to be absolutely perfect.'
Over the years, she's figured out ways to manage the pressure. But this year, some of the online negativity she faced crossed the line. In an Aug. 11 video, Darnell shared with her followers that she was taking a break from the recruitment process to focus on her mental health.
'I'm in a mental health spot where I've been struggling,' Darnell said in the recent video. 'I won't lie to you guys about it, like, I've just not been enjoying it…. if I was to go on there and show these outfits and like, keep going, I would be lying to you guys and myself.'
More: The Bama Rush obsession is real: Inside the phenomena of OOTDs, sorority recruitment
Navigating online fame at a young age
The video sparked discourse about Darnell's journey as a public figure and a wider conversation about the rush experience. Sorority recruitment, or rush, is a multi-day process at colleges across the country where young women interested in joining a sorority meet current members of Greek organizations with the hope of receiving an invitation to join a chapter. The intensity and experience varies by school, but the ones that tend to go viral highlight over-the-top dance routines, packed schedules and make-it-or-break-it outfits.
The sorority recruitment process was thrust into the spotlight with the rise of #RushTok — a TikTok trend that took off in 2021, largely centered around the University of Alabama. Girls like Darnell went viral by posting OOTDs for each round, dramatic Bid Day reveals, and later, behind-the-scenes glimpses of life inside their sorority houses. The phenomenon inspired a 2023 HBO Max documentary on the process and a new Lifetime special, "A Sorority Mom's Guide to Rush!"
When Darnell posted that initial OOTD video, she didn't expect to be placed 'on a pedestal.' Years of pageants and dance recitals had prepared her for sorority life, but as the first woman in her family to enter the rush process, she says she went in 'completely clueless' about social media guidelines or the reputations between different houses.
'Whenever I go back and watch the rush videos, I kind of want to cry every time I watch them, because I look so scared,' Darnell says.
Recruitment days are often in scorching temperatures, and might start as early as 7 or 8 a.m. after schedules are released for the day. Many girls bring rush bags from house to house full of the essentials — mints, bobby pins, dry shampoo, hairspray, oil blotting sheets, perfume, fans, portable phone chargers, Advil, floss and deodorant.
'It's very exhausting,' says sorority rush consultant Trisha Addicks. 'You have to process what sororities you're invited back to, also process some disappointment, a lot of times, and get ready to go and be positive and open minded for eight hours.'
Addicks says the rush process can take a toll on one's self esteem. She still remembers when she first rushed a sorority in 1986 at the University of Georgia and opened up her Bid Day envelope to find out that no house accepted her. She ultimately joined a sorority the following year after rushing again.
'I was devastated,' Addicks says, adding those feelings stayed with her years later. 'I felt isolated. I was embarrassed; I was crying.'
More: New, unscripted sorority rush show drops Aug. 11. Here's how to watch.
'What's online is not always the clear picture'
When Addicks went through recruitment, girls lined up in a hallway to open their bids, learning about each sorority's reputation, and who eventually accepted which bid, through word of mouth. Now, choreographed dance videos and Hollywood-level productions, complete with brand partnerships, props, and elaborate costumes, bring millions of viewers into the process.
Bid day videos capture young women squealing and crying with joy as they rip open their envelopes and sprint down sorority row to their new homes. Their captions amplify the day's excitement: 'BEST DAY OF MY LIFE,' says one video. 'HOME AT LAST AT PHI MU,' reads another. 'only the best go AXO,' another declares, sporting the sorority's hand signs.
'What makes the sting of rejection so much worse and the feelings of inadequacy and all of that, is because you're seeing other people on social media so excited, so happy, living their best lives, even though we all know that what's online is not always the clear picture,' Addicks says.
Darnell says her experience was so genuine because she went in without preconceived notions, and she worries TikTok could set up unrealistic expectations for girls going through the same process.
'I feel bad because I've had so many girls in my DMs through the years text me and say, 'Hey, I'm gonna go to University of Alabama because of you, I've seen some of your videos, it looks so much fun, I want to live the way that you're living '' Darnell shared in a TikTok.
In some ways, Darnell is reliving that process again through her younger sister Izzy, a freshman at the University of Alabama who shared her recruitment journey online throughout the week before ultimately revealing she dropped out of the process.
Unlike her older sister, Izzy is coming into college with more than a million followers, upping the online scrutiny she's facing. Darnell shared that part of her decision to step back from rush was influenced by the negativity her younger sister was facing online.
'It's hard to watch any family member get picked on,' Darnell says. 'I started to become a mama bear, and I really had to take a step back and be like, 'OK, this is your process, not mine.''
There was a point in Darnell's life where her whole personality was her sorority, but as a senior, she's looking ahead to life after college. She hopes to pursue sports broadcasting. Online, it's been harder to separate her brand from sorority life.
When she took a step back from posting Greek life content last year, rumors swirled that she had dropped Zeta, which she clarified is not the case. In recent days, users online have flooded Zeta social media accounts with comments asking about Darnell, to the point where Darnell asked the sorority's social media manager to delete comments.
'People thought that they were supporting me, but they didn't get that by going and commenting negative things on my friends pages, that just makes it awkward between us,' Darnell says. 'I had to take a step back after that.'
If she could go back in time, 'I would tell my freshman self to really take it in and to appreciate being a freshman in college, but I would also tell myself to not take everything to heart,' Darnell says. 'Now I'm more comfortable in my own skin, I've learned so much about myself. I've got a different level of confidence than I had back then.'
Rachel Hale's role covering Youth Mental Health at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach her at [e-mail] and @rachelleighhale on X.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Sorority star Kylan Darnell was a RushTok sensation. It took a toll
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