31 Things You Need If Your Stuff Is Literally Falling Out Your Closets And Cabinets
A set of stackable wire drawers so you can properly make use of otherwise ungovernable spaces, like the bottom of your closet, wardrobe, or pantry. Use these for clothing, accessories, or even kitchen supplies and snacks in the kitchen. Best of all, they collapse and store easily when you don't need them.
Or plastic sliding storage bins reviewers have been using to bring order to any room you can think of, from bedroom closets to home offices. Thanks to their waterproof material, they can even go in your bathroom or garage.
A two-tier desk hutch with plenty of shelf space and a metal grid you can hang notes, headphones, tape, and other necessities on. With all the important stuff neatly organized, there will be even more room for cute desk decor.
An adjustable hanging rod that hangs onto the one in your closet so you can double your closet space. You'll finally have room for the millions of baby outfits your in-laws keep buying.
A stackable shelf to help you utilize more space in your cabinets, bathroom, bedroom closet, or office. You can let them overlap or even stack them on top of each other, depending on your needs.
Rainbow nesting storage containers that will make a hue-ge difference in your cabinet space. No more free-floating containers and mysterious lids!
A hanging closet-organizer to neatly stow items like purses, scarves, ties, and other odds and ends that might be cluttering your bedroom. Knowing exactly where your favorite scarf is at all times? Truly priceless.
A set of magnetic spice jar dispensers if you have spices falling out of cabinets, clogging up your counter, and coming out your ears. These can sit on your stove or stick to your fridge, meaning — oh my god — there's room to buy more spices!
Game board storage cases so you can ditch the cardboard boxes in favor of slim, easy-to-stack organizers. The transparent plastic and built-in handle make it easy to take multiple games while traveling — now you can pack Codenames *and* Monopoly.
A pair of transparent dividers bringing a level of order previously never seen in your closet. Your sweaters, bags, towels, and sheets can all have their designated areas. No more looking for a hand towel and only finding pillowcases. Please tell me this isn't just a me problem.
A set of storage bags to make proper use out of your under-bed space. They're ideal for out-of-season clothing, books, extra shoes, or anything else you don't need now but might need soonish.
An under-cabinet drawer that'll bring order to whatever cabinet you've been avoiding lately. Grabbing a sponge will now be a two-second activity instead of a 15-minute scavenger hunt.
A set of airtight food storage containers so you can ditch all the ripped cardboard and leaky flour bags you have in the cabinet right now. Speaking as someone who recently dealt with a pantry moth problem, airtight storage is the way to go.
A wallet holder that hooks under your closet shelf and provides a structured place for your favorite pouches to live. While this is made for wallets, there's no need to limit yourself! Use it for snacks, stationery, accessories, sandwich bag boxes, etc.
A bamboo cabinet in two styles (counter and wall mount) more than happy to obscure your kitchen clutter from prying eyes. The fluted glass is just opaque enough to hide your collection of mason jar tops and mostly forgotten kitchen tools.
A tea bag organizer for avid tea drinkers who are sick of getting hit with an avalanche of boxes every time they open their cupboard. This slim device can fit up to 120 standard-sized bags.
Suction cup knobs kind enough to give you some extra hanging space for towels, loofahs, and scalp massagers. They're waterproof and can hold up to 15 pounds, so even your massive oversize robe can have a place to hang.
A thin rolling shelf to slip in that weird space between your fridge and cabinets. Or between your laundry machine and the wall. Or in the garage next to your car. Wherever you have a tiny sliver of unused space for organizing.
A silverware sorter that takes up very little space in your drawer but can fit up to 24 pieces of cutlery. With the extra space, the possibilities are endless. Maybe it's time for a novelty monstera slotted spoon?
An over-the-cabinet-door holder so you can fit even more cooking sheets, cutting boards, and other flat kitchen items in your kitchen.
An interlocking storage organization set that lets you harness the power of CUBES. Assemble them in whatever grid works best for your closet. The set comes with a little rubber mallet so you can feel like Bob the Builder while creating your ideal storage unit.
A plastic bag dispenser that neatly fits in your drawer so you don't have to battle with five crushed cardboard boxes. You can store this horizontally in a drawer or get fancy and mount it vertically in a cabinet.
Clear drawer organizers to turn your junk drawer into just a normal drawer where you actually find stuff. Oh, you need a rubber band? Here you go. A bottle opener? No problem.
A four-tier stair organizer perfect for perfume bottles, figurines, snow globes, or whatever else is currently in need of a permanent home. Whatever you display, it'll look a lot better like this than strewn across your dresser.
A set of Command spray bottle hangers to stick to the inside of a cabinet door for easy storage, so you can grab the multi-cleaner *the second* you hear food hit the floor.
Clear, stackable drawers providing a transparent organization system that lets you find things way faster and with far fewer curses. Also, the lucite just looks really cool. *resists urge to decorate the inside with window clings*
An elaborate jewelry organizer with rotating branches so you can flip through your extensive necklace collection like a beautiful book. The glammed-out tree sticks to the wall with included Command strips and comes with 120 holes for at least a good chunk of your earring collection.
A set of Shoe Slotz that lets you stack shoes on top of each other, meaning you can DOUBLE your storage space. In the words of Kelly, let's get some shoes.
An expanding file folder you can fill with up to 200 pieces of paper and free up soo much desk space. Receipts, restaurant menus, love letters — all this and more can be properly stored.
A hanger organizer to solve your horrible hanger-nest problem you've been suffering through in silence all these years. It holds up to 50 hangers so you can finally find one instead of draping your clothes over the pole and hoping for the best.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Buzz Feed
09-08-2025
- Buzz Feed
32 Best Organizers To Eliminate Clutter
A stackable, handled storage container with small compartments for all your bits and bobs. Sort Lego bricks by color, finally consolidate your bead collection, and keep your washi tape safe and scannable. Game board storage cases so you can ditch the cardboard boxes in favor of slim, easy-to-stack organizers. The transparent plastic and built-in handle make it easy to take multiple games while traveling — now you can pack Codenames *and* Monopoly. A pack of 12 shoe storage boxes, which snap together so you can finally see your floor again. Your guests will appreciate not having to climb over your pile of sneakers to get inside, your boots will appreciate not being squished into pancakes, and you'll appreciate actually being able to see all the pairs in your collection. Or a set of Shoe Slotz that lets you stack shoes on top of each other, meaning you can DOUBLE your storage space. In the words of Kelly, let's get some shoes. A set of storage bags to make proper use out of your under-bed space. They're ideal for out-of-season clothing, books, extra shoes, or anything else you don't need now but might need soonish. A five-tier document tray so you can sort through that intimidating mountain of paper on your desk. Tax docs, receipts, and fanmail (soon to arrive for your amazing organization skills) should probably all get their own sections. And the trays slide out so you can grab what you need with ease. A 5.5-foot tall curio cabinet made with rolled steel and tempered glass that will be the perfect home for all your books and knickknacks. Suddenly, your heap of plush toys will look less like clutter and more like a valuable collection. A bamboo cabinet in two styles (counter and wall mount) more than happy to obscure your kitchen clutter from prying eyes. The fluted glass is just opaque enough to hide your collection of mason jar tops and mostly forgotten kitchen tools. Itty-bitty collapsible storage crates in soothing pastel colors to give your knickknacks the vinyl record treatment. Listen, you don't have to throw away your mountain of pilfered condiment packets, but they'd look a lot nicer in one of these. A set of Command spray bottle hangers to stick to the inside of a cabinet door for easy storage, so you can grab the multi-cleaner *the second* you hear food hit the floor. A four-tier stair organizer perfect for perfume bottles, figurines, snow globes, or whatever else is currently in need of a permanent home. Whatever you display, it'll look a lot better like this than strewn across your dresser. A sturdy car organizer that'll make you feel a little better about all the random junk rolling around your car. Once everything is neatly organized, it will feel like it belongs there. Noooo, that's not a bottle of laundry detergent I forgot to bring inside — it's there for emergencies on road trips. 🙂↕️ An apartment-like shelf to house your many Smiskis when they're not hiding in various nooks and crannies. Now that they're all together, you can strategically place a black light bar or two for a 24/7 glow show. A shower caddy shelf for the corner of your bathroom or shower stall because every inch of your home deserves multi-level storage options. The cute little soap dish is honestly enough to sell me on this, tbh! A dust-free sectioned tray that'll help you sort your jewelry and various baubles, encouraging you to wear more than the same pair of earrings every day. Remember those gold studs your grandma gave you? Now you can actually find them! A slender storage cabinet you can sneak into the little space next to the toilet. Cleaning supplies, extra toilet paper, and reading materials are now conveniently within reach! An under-cabinet drawer that'll bring order to whatever cabinet you've been avoiding lately. Grabbing a sponge will now be a two-second activity instead of a 15-minute scavenger hunt. Under-cabinet containers you can install in areas that were previously considered at capacity. They maximize space under sinks, in pantries, and beneath shelves, meaning you can finally fit even more stuff in your home! The jars are airtight and self-seal when you put them back, so you can store anything from coffee beans to cotton swabs in them. A wallet holder that hooks under your closet shelf and provides a structured place for your favorite pouches to live. While this is made for wallets, there's no need to limit yourself! Use it for snacks, stationery, accessories, sandwich bag boxes, etc. A thin rolling shelf to slip in that weird space between your fridge and cabinets. Or between your laundry machine and the wall. Or in the garage next to your car. Wherever you have a tiny sliver of unused space. A silverware sorter that takes up very little space in your drawer but can fit up to 24 pieces of cutlery. With the extra space, the possibilities are endless. Maybe it's time for a novelty monstera slotted spoon? A set of airtight food storage containers so you can ditch all the ripped cardboard and leaky flour bags you have in the cabinet right now. Speaking as someone who recently dealt with a pantry moth problem, airtight storage is the way to go. A plastic bag dispenser that neatly fits in your drawer so you don't have to battle with five crushed cardboard boxes. You can store this horizontally in a drawer or get fancy and mount it vertically in a cabinet. A tea bag organizer for avid tea drinkers who are sick of getting hit with an avalanche of boxes every time they open their cupboard. This slim device can fit up to 120 standard-sized bags. An interlocking storage organization set that lets you harness the power of CUBES. Assemble them in whatever grid works best for your closet. The set comes with a little rubber mallet so you can feel like Bob the Builder while creating your ideal storage unit. A car seat storage bag so everything you need is in one place instead of rolling around under the seats. Your passengers will finally have leg room AND a cold drink because this thing has an insulated cooler pocket. A CovoBox made from reclaimed books and sustainable wood that's hollow on the inside, so you can hide your router, cable box, or other unsightly wires. Now you can look neat *and* well-read. An over-the-cabinet-door holder so you can fit even more cooking sheets, cutting boards, and other flat kitchen items in your kitchen. A revolving hardwood organizer for ties, necklaces, lanyards, or other easy-to-hang items. You can hold up to 24 items, so the sky's the limit here. Maybe I'll start a bowtie collection for my dog? Clear drawer organizers to turn your junk drawer into just a normal drawer where you actually find stuff. Oh, you need a rubber band? Here you go. A bottle opener? No problem. A genius T-shirt roll holder that'll keep all your shirts tidy, easily accessible, and out of your drawers (meaning more space for more clothing). And a *solid* wood* cube organizer to store books, toys, clothing, records, or other items in need of a home. The 3x5 pine wood shelving is compatible with most square bins and will last a heck of a lot longer than the particle board unit you're rocking with now.
Boston Globe
06-08-2025
- Boston Globe
Bedbugs, cigarettes, and a broken elevator: Life at Gabriel House before the fire
So began a normal Sunday at the Gabriel House in Fall River. For many who lived there, life felt like a tragedy long before July 13, the night a fire broke out that killed 10 people and displaced dozens more. It was a home of last resort for some who had been homeless or could not afford anything else. For those who lived there, there was little to do beyond television and the occasional game of Monopoly; an elevator that always seemed to be down; infestations of mice, cockroaches, and bedbugs; and everywhere, the smell of cigarette smoke. Gabriel House had a In response to a detailed list of questions about living conditions at Gabriel House, owner Dennis Etzkorn said the facility has been found to be 'consistently in compliance with regulation, with rare exceptions that were promptly addressed.' Still, there were bright spots of color that surfaced through the film of gray. Friendships — and romances — sparked. Nelson Gonzalez, the facility's maintenance man, was painstakingly refurbishing rooms after years of wear, replacing old rugs worn down from years of residents who were incontinent. Occasional activities, such as bingo or Bible study, lit up weekdays. Gabriel House opened in 1999 on the site of a former motel, and sometimes it still felt like one — the modest rooms branching off the hallways and limited common areas. Scott Allan lived on the first floor in a humbly furnished 10 x 17 room he jokingly called his 'garden apartment.' A stroke victim who uses a wheelchair, Allan, 63, maintained a glimmer of hope that someday he would leave this place. Others appeared to have accepted that Gabriel House, sparse and uncomfortable, was destined to be the last, difficult chapter of their lives. Allan's daughter and granddaughter live in Portland, Maine, but they didn't have a chance to visit often, he said. Instead, his entertainment often came over the airwaves: services on Sundays, baseball as often as possible. On that Sunday, the Red Sox swept the Tampa Bay Rays at Fenway for their 10th straight win. It was perhaps the brightest spot in an otherwise average day. Meanwhile, in Rui Albernaz's room, he and Debbie Bigelow were bickering over his scratch ticket habit. The two had been dating for years, and Bigelow said she had picked out a long green dress for when they got married someday. Albernaz was well known at Gabriel House and in the broader community: On his near-daily outings to Dunkin' Donuts, he always made the workers laugh. One Halloween he showed up in a lace dress and a wig. At Gabriel House, he and Bigelow played bean bag toss and did arts and crafts. Albernaz called everyone buddy, but Bigelow said she told him, 'I'm not a boy, call me 'babe.' ' Advertisement The scratchies, though, were a consistent source of tension. On that Sunday before the fire, Albernaz asked Bigelow for $11 for a scratch ticket, she recalled. She offered him $7. He called her 'cheap.' Rui Albernaz, 64, one of the victims of the Fall River fire. Alda Albernaz 'I was always getting after him' for the scratch tickets, Bigelow said. 'In the end I said, 'OK, you can play it.' ' Bigelow saw Albernaz at lunch, but she didn't join him, she said. It certainly wasn't the food that lit up residents' days at Gabriel House. Many complained of meals that were bland at best and inedible at worst. The The food offerings were particularly unappetizing for Donna Murphy, a longtime resident who worked for years for her family catering business. Murphy worked on food for the mills and for banquets, carving watermelons into elaborate baskets for big events. She was an amazing cook, said Nancy Jones, her sister. The bland offerings of Gabriel House were an insult she often declined. ' 'Can I go back there? Let me give you a hand,' ' Murphy would often joke of the modest facility kitchen, Jones recalled. Advertisement When Murphy moved in five years ago, her family had stocked her room with cereal and other perishable snacks. Within days, mice had eaten through them, her sister said. Jones came back with secure plastic bins to protect the food from the rodents. Her sister still craved better food from the outside. Every Thursday, Murphy's son brought her hot dogs from JJ's on South Main Street, Jones said. Sunday was an unusual day for Murphy: Her granddaughter picked her up that afternoon for a rare overnight stay at her house. The family has come to think of it as an act of God. Murphy, for her part, has been wracked by survivor's guilt, and was hospitalized for a panic attack. By midday Sunday, Eleanor Willett, too, was enjoying family time. Some of the residents of Gabriel House were lonely, or drew few visits. Not Willett, who seemed always to be surrounded by family. Her daughter Terry Leuvelink came every other day, and that Sunday, Willett's son Paul visited. She spent a chunk of the afternoon with him and her great-great-grandson, Jamison. Around 1:15, she perched on her bed in a pink robe and posed with her arms around the boy. When her relatives left around 3:30 p.m., everything was normal. They didn't realize it was the last time they would see her alive. Eleanor Willett (center) with daughter Terry Leuvelink (left) and granddaughter Holly Mallowes. Holly Mallowes While Gabriel House offered some activities, the time could pass slowly for those who didn't have family visiting. Residents watched television alone or together, or played games. And they smoked — inside and outside, they smoked. Residents gathered in a covered part of the rear parking lot most days to smoke and chat. They gossiped like middle schoolers, Gonzalez said, including and especially the foursome he affectionately called the 'Golden Girls.' Pimentel liked to sit out back feeding pigeons, seagulls, and sparrows, and smoking. Advertisement Residents were not supposed to smoke indoors, but everyone knew that they did. Family members might arrive to find full ashtrays in their loved ones' bedrooms. Gonzalez found burn marks on the walls in their rooms. Residents might be fined $25, but it was hardly a deterrent, and they didn't always pay. A certified nursing assistant said she once entered a resident's room to find her bed in flames. There were other risks, too: the appliances residents weren't supposed to have in their bedrooms, but seemed to anyway — toasters, coffee pots, air fryers. Preliminary reports suggest the fire could have been caused by the presence of Dinner always came early at Gabriel House. The cook, who had been working since 3 that morning, headed home around 6:30 p.m. By then, residents were winding down, too. Neal Beck, 78, had been homeless before he came to Gabriel House three years ago. On that Sunday, he went to bed in his third floor room around 6 p.m., more than three hours before the fire would be called in. 'I'm an old guy,' Beck said. 'I go to bed early.' Allan can't even remember if he attended dinner that day. He, too, was in bed by 7 p.m. Pimentel finished dinner, watched TV, and played solitaire on his phone. He must have put the phone in his pocket. Hours later, when he emerged stunned from the flames, there it was. He was one of the few who left the ordeal with his phone. Advertisement Like normal, Bigelow had dinner early. She took a shower and got ready for bed. On a normal night, Bigelow would have been with Albernaz, she said. They made love and talked a lot — 'time really flies when you're talking,' he used to tell her. But not Sunday. Albernaz came down to ask if she'd join him in his room, but after their 'little scuffle' earlier in the day, she declined. She promised, though, to accompany him to a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Neither knew the fire would take his life before that. Albernaz returned to his third floor room without her. Up on the third floor, Steven Oldrid was still awake. He'd been offered a room on the first floor when he moved in, but rejected it as dark, smelly, and dirty, said Robin Gouveia, a lawyer who is representing Oldrid in a Oldrid was watching TV that Sunday night. CNN was airing a documentary about the Live Aid concert. He figured he'd go to bed when it was over. Then Oldrid heard an alarm. It wasn't so unusual to hear it going off like that, in a facility that often felt noisy and chaotic. For months, decade-old smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors had been out of battery or out of service, bleeping and bleeping at residents while they tried to rest in their rooms. Recently, Gonzalez swore up and down, he had replaced the sensor in every single room with a new, functional combination smoke alarm and carbon monoxide detector. Of this he was absolutely sure. When the alarms started to go off, Oldrid thought little of it at first: They went off all the time. Then he heard yelling — also not so unusual. The residents had a range of needs and mental health statuses. To hear a commotion was not out of the ordinary. Then Oldrid opened the door to thick, dark smoke. In his power chair, there was nowhere for him to go. Besides, he had read that he should stay put in case of emergency. He closed his door and waited. A wheelchair sat in front of the shuttered Gabriel House beside the memorial for the fire victims on July 18. Suzanne Kreiter/Globe Staff Emma Platoff can be reached at
Buzz Feed
19-07-2025
- Buzz Feed
When People Realized Their Family Wasn't Normal
When Reddit user m1ntb3rrycrunchh asked, "What made you realize that there was something 'off' about your family?" I knew the responses would be heartbreaking. Here are the gut-wrenching stories. "I went to a friend's house after school one day, and her mum called us down for dinner. I was astonished that the whole family sat at the table, ate together, chatted, joked, and laughed. They actually seemed to be ENJOYING each other's company. There was no tension, no one was yelling or being sullen, no hint of threat in the air. Just a simple, fun dinner. Apparently, they did that every night! Shocking behavior. I privately thought her family was really weird for that, but once I started making more friends, I began to realize it was MY family that was 'weird.'" "When I told a funny story about the time my dad was getting ready to give me a belting, but he was so furious he didn't keep a good grip on me, and I dodged the blow, and he whacked himself across the was at a party in university. I'll never forget how I finished the story with a chuckle, only to be met by a wall of horrified silence. Later, a friend took me aside and kindly informed me that it wasn't funny or normal for a dad to routinely beat their child with a leather belt." "I entered public school at thirteen and was bullied by the kids, who immediately picked up on my lack of social skills. I was as polite and pleasant to them as I would be to anyone. A month later, once I had established my first-ever friend group, they told me how unusual my inability to be bothered by bullies was, citing my extraordinary ability to be unbothered by verbal abuse. Being taunted for my physical appearance wasn't unusual to me because that's how my parents spoke to me. That's when I knew my parents were different. It had never occurred to me that my parents were different because I had just always known they didn't like me and that being laughed at and called names by them was just how they treated me." "The first afternoon I spent with my best friend's (and now partner's) family, I was six years old. I fell and scraped my knee, as six-year-olds do. His dad rushed over and helped me up, telling me it'd be okay and that I was okay and that we'd go clean it up inside. I had never had an adult clean my cuts before. No one had ever taken care of me before, not since I was old enough to feed, dress, and bathe myself. I realized then that my parents were supposed to take care of me." "I spent an afternoon at my friend's house when I was about eight. Her dad randomly asked us if we wanted to do anything fun, and he ended up teaching me how to play Monopoly and how to ride a bicycle. It was then that I realized that spending quality time with their kids is something that normal parents do. In our house, my parents would never do anything with us during their free time outside of going to the mall and eating out." "When I heard a classmate's mom tell my parents about how much she adored me and how much I lit the room up with my personality, and she said that she was glad I was friends with her daughter. I never heard anyone in my family speak with that level of positivity and depth about anyone, including family. I was confused as to why I could leave an impact on essentially a woman I interacted with in passing, but my parents couldn't even remember what grade I was in." "I remember being jealous because all my friends had curfews. My parents would never notice if I didn't come home. It felt like such a caring and lovely thought to think a parent expected a kid to be home at a certain time each night and would even sit up and wait for them to return." "The day my mother insisted I go to the bank with her, I didn't feel like going, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. I was 18. I accidentally slammed my thumb with the car door; it was bleeding, and the nail was coming off, so I got out to take care of it. She was so angry that I wasn't going after all that she burned rubber leaving — no concern about me whatsoever, then or later on. I didn't have my keys, so I was locked out. I had to walk a mile to the neighbor's for help with my thumb. When I told them what happened, the look of horror on their faces told me none of that was normal." "I went to work as an Au Pair after university. I was shocked that people have family dinners and talk about how their day went and that children's answers were taken seriously and not mocked or dismissed. I was shocked when the kids' dad went out of his study to ask his children, 'How are you?'" "The big, grown-up Uh-oh realization happened when my mother asked me and my siblings to lie about our identities and claim to be visiting cousins when CPS showed up. Oh, and then when we fled the state. I was nine, definitely old enough to know that was bonkers." "As an adult, some friends started sharing cute stories about getting mad and 'running away from home' as kids. Their moms would pack them sandwiches and play along until the kids just stopped being mad. I realized that I could never show anger or run away because I didn't think my mom would let me come back." "When I was eight, my mom let me go to my friend Maria's for sleepovers. Her mom would cook, and Maria said she never had to cook dinner for her family. We got to be silly, talk at Blockbuster, and get candy for the movie we picked. At her house, we could stay up late, and there were no consequences for sleeping in. I always thought their house was messy because her mom didn't make her clean. I realized eventually that normal kids don't have to cook and clean and take care of siblings — that that was actually the parents' job." "It was shocking to realize none of the other six-year-olds were left at home, alone, all day long with just enough food to survive. I didn't realize this when I was six. I realized it somewhere in middle school when I was explaining this to some classmates, and they were all shocked." "When everyone else's home smelled like laundry and food, and my home smelled like alcohol and weed." "When I was 13, I started having to get myself to and from the doctor, though my mom might make an appointment for me. I had a riding accident where I had to go see an OB-GYN after the initial emergency care, and I had to go by myself. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that's something most people's moms take them to for the first time, no matter how old their female child is." "When I was at my friend's house, they just grabbed snacks from their pantry. The one at my house was always locked, and we were not allowed to get anything out of it. Things would rot." "When I was around at my best friend's house and her dad happened to be there, he came in to say hello. My best friend said something mildly cheeky to him, and I held my breath and tensed up, waiting for him to kick just laughed and teased her back. I'd have been about seven. It was revelatory and helped me keep my sanity until I could afford to leave home." "When I was crying to my mom about my stepbrother choking me to the point of turning red and some bystander had to pull him off of me, and she just shrugged and asked if I had done something to him. I also told my dad, and he got angry at me." "My college friends called their parents every week, some more often than that. I always dreaded talking to my mother. It wasn't until I started getting to know my ex-husband, and then after I met his mom, that I realized how absolutely off my mother and my household was because of her. I remember being amazed at times that my friends could call their parents at any time about any problems, and their parents would help them, whereas if I had a problem, I knew I'd dang well better solve it myself." "When my family arrived at my aunt's house, her family went from laughing and jovial to quiet and anxious." "My mom brought me to an evangelical church multi-media show/'play' that simulated a school shooting (you then watch all the 'heathen' children go to hell after they die) to ensure that I understood the gravity of hell and what not choosing Jesus as my savior meant for me. I was nine. I still have nightmares about it at age 31. Apparently, other parents don't do that. Huh!" "Thanksgiving 1998. My first memory of my paternal grandmother is her telling me it's okay that my father abuses me because I chose to look like my mother to torment him (mom divorced Mr. Hog that summer). I was only 4, but even I knew it wasn't right. The following Easter, he kicked me out of the car because I refused to stop being sick and drove off. He was abusive daily, frankly. But those actions showed that he felt that he was RIGHT to do it. They genuinely believed that I 'started it.'" "When I had to get a couple of mandatory vaccines the summer before college because I had never had a single vaccine (anti-vax parents). I spent that entire summer getting one shot in each arm every week because I wanted to get all of them." "When my little brother was appearing on the scene, and I knew that I had to step up because there weren't enough adults in the house to care for three kids, so the middle child was going to have to put in work to fill the gaps." "Seeing families hug each other. We're a family that does not touch." "Whenever my aunt accused her own daughter of sleeping with her husband…who is also her daughter's dad…I'm not sure what compelled her to think my cousin was sleeping with her own father, especially since she was just 16 years old at the time, but man, am I happy I lost contact with that side of the family." "I got to go over to a few other people's houses and realized that most people's houses really basically do look like the ones on TV. Sure, the furniture may be cheaper, or maybe there's a little clutter (so more in the territory of Married... With Children, or Roseanne). But yeah, all these other houses resembled the houses on TV more than my own. It turns out most parents aren't hoarders." "When I was probably about 7 or 8, I realized that other families spent time together on vacation…like, they would go do activities together, and their kids didn't just spend time hanging out with staff or locked up in the hotel room. When I was a kid, and we went on vacation, it was clear that it was my parents who were 'on vacation.' We just got the privilege of tagging along. Our job was to spend as much time away from them as possible and not need them for anything." "When I realized I didn't wanna bring my friends or future partners around them because I was afraid my family would be mean to them." "When I traveled across the country and spent a few weeks with my partner's family during Christmas. Honestly, it was the fact that when his brother forgot to bring the stuffing to Christmas dinner, everyone reacted appropriately and in proportion to the situation. Nobody died…we just ate more of the potatoes. Sure, there was some gentle teasing towards his brother for forgetting the ONE item he was in charge of, but everything turned out just fine. It was such an appropriate response to such a small problem. In comparison, the preceding year, at my family's Christmas, my uncle KICKED my mother because they had a disagreement (and I don't even remember what it was about)." "My father had an extremely bad temper. One time, when I was 13 years old, he picked me and my friend up from school, and my dad was in a really bad mood. He started screaming at me for being too dumb to know something or other. I was used to it and totally silent. When I was with my friend later, he was in complete shock. I downplayed it, and I told him it was totally normal. He said, 'No, it's not.' And I never forgot that." "I was maybe 11, and my friend was supposed to spend the night at my house. I was a bit embarrassed because we could hear my family fighting, but I didn't consider it a bad fight because the walls weren't shaking, and no one was throwing or breaking anything. She told me that if I ever needed somewhere safe to stay, her mom would come get me, and I could stay with them. I knew her mom wasn't the most stable person in the world, but that woman took care of me from 11 to 18 whenever I needed anything. I could probably call her now, even though it's been years since I've last spoken to either of them, and she would still treat me like family." "I think it was the first time I talked about what my house in California was like when I moved back to Florida as a preteen. Yeah, it turns out living in a handmade shack of plywood and plastic tarps on a manufactured jetty as part of an unhoused colony in Northern California for a year is not a 'typical' thing families do. Oddly enough, chopping up and burning your Christmas tree because it was the only firewood available to you on said jetty four days after Christmas because your parents abandoned their seven-year-old and two toddlers under three to go 'help' your dad's brother with cooking meth is also not a universal experience. Your fifth-grade class and teacher will not think it's a silly, goofy story — they will have the most horrified looks on ALL of their faces. Yeah. My parents did a lot of questionable things while on meth. Like, cook meth." "Probably around the time my stepmom put a lock on the outside of my door and would lock me in my room with a little bowl of snacks and a TV that only got like three channels. Also, how we went to Sea World, and they just left me in the car (at least the windows were down.)" When my friends would tell me about the help they would get for things like homework, and when I saw that their parents always showed up to pick them up at school events, parent-teacher conferences, etc. I thought it was very normal for parents to just forget about you because of how busy they were, and as long as I wasn't causing trouble, they had no interest in us. They would repeatedly go on vacation/date nights, leaving me from as young as eight to take care of my sister, then refusing to pick up phone calls and telling me I was being overly dramatic. I remember one night when my sister had a bad tummy ache — I tried to make her a hot water bottle and, by accident, spilled the boiling water over my hand. Of course, nobody answered the phone, so I went to my neighbor, who was shellshocked to see me by myself trying to take care of my burn." "My middle school friends confronted me about my parents being physically abusive toward me, citing it as why they did not want to come over to my house anymore. I argued that it was a totally normal thing and that they were blowing it out of proportion. They told me none of their parents hit them." "I realized my family was off when my mom encouraged my brother to get into the street life, not for financial reasons, but genuinely just so that she could brag ... that her son was out there 'running shit.' I only realized it was fucked because of the TV shows and movies I'd seen of the family and friends trying to get the main character to LEAVE the street life, not join it." When did you realize something about your family was "off"? Let us know in the comments or via this anonymous form.
