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Why Dictionaries Still Define Us

Why Dictionaries Still Define Us

New York Times4 days ago
Have you ever obeyed the suggestions of a digital writing assistant to replace a word or restructure a sentence without knowing how, why or even if it made your writing better? Before the reign of digital tools, you'd probably have turned to a dictionary for the same assistance. Our parents and grandparents picked up a heavy book and looked up what words meant, how they're used, maybe glanced at their etymology — and then made a linguistic choice, however shaky or idiosyncratic, to express their ideas.
In today's universe of spell-check, autocorrect and artificial intelligence — each of which is capable of making those choices for us — why should we keep producing and owning actual, cinder-block-sized dictionaries?
Because dictionaries enable us to write not with fail-safe convenience but with originality and a point of view. While A.I. assistants manufacture phrases and statements so writers don't have to think them up, dictionaries provide us with the knowledge to use language ourselves in expressive and potentially infinite ways. They place choice — and authority — literally in human hands, forcing us to discover how we want to explain ourselves and our ideas to the world.
Dictionaries aren't merely long lists of words and meanings; they're also instructions for how best to use those words. Since the debuts of Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster, English dictionaries have reflected the language of particular populations — the Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster don't quite say the same things. Simultaneously, by codifying the meanings, uses and connotations of words, those same dictionaries have shaped language. Lexicographers look to the public to determine words' meanings, and we in turn look to lexicographers to verify that our understanding of words is shared and mutually understood. The parameters of English are formed both top-down and bottom-up. Dictionaries amalgamate and standardize these two linguistic influences and, in doing so, define our most fundamental cultural medium.
Standard English doesn't exist today the way it did as recently as the late 20th century. Thanks to the colloquial tone of ubiquitous internet-based communication, formal English has become essentially absent from most people's lives. Where my parents' letters to friends and colleagues would have adopted genial but brittle tones and structures, the vast majority of my social and professional correspondence is informal. Smartphone messaging conventions — like using exclamation points to indicate pleasant normalcy and ellipses to evoke impatience or indifference — routinely seep into follow-ups from artists and lawyers alike. It's almost as if the more informal one's writing is, the more capable, authoritative and trustworthy it reads.
This acceptance of vernacular in contemporary mainstream English is new, but by no means uniform. English-speaking societies have always used an array of dialects, but until relatively recently, lexicographers arbitrarily viewed nonstandard Englishes as unsophisticated and therefore unworthy of regular inclusion in dictionaries. Today there is a general awareness that particular nations, for instance, speak not one but a group of different Englishes. Dictionaries are therefore no longer confronted with the task of defining a prestige dialect but rather with describing and legitimizing the contrasting ways people use words, a task for which they, unlike less deliberate digital alternatives, are well suited.
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Despite our parenting differences, my in-laws are taking my kids in their RV this summer. It'll be good for everyone.
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Despite our parenting differences, my in-laws are taking my kids in their RV this summer. It'll be good for everyone.

When I got pregnant with my second child, I realized having help would be critical for my family. Though we have different parenting styles, my in-laws have always been supportive. They asked to take my kids on an RV trip this summer, and I didn't hesitate to give permission. I used to be the mom who wanted to control — or "optimize" — every aspect of her child's day. Like many other attentive millennial mothers, I learned the differences between my baby's cries, the "perfect balance" of wake time and rest time, and the signs of an imminent bowel movement. I went through this education mostly on my own, tracking through apps and mentally logging the information in my exhausted brain. Meanwhile, my husband worked long hours remotely during the first year of our child's life in a small apartment in New York City. Once our family moved out of the big city to a small town and I found myself pregnant again, I knew I needed to do things differently the second time around — I wanted to avoid the pitfalls of postpartum anxiety and depression and build a supportive village. Enter my in-laws. My in-laws have a different parenting style than we do They're of the boomer generation, live two hours away, and are genuinely good people, with true hearts of gold. However, because of the generational divide (and, thus, variation in parenting styles), there have been moments of tension as my husband and I have navigated integrating our established families into our developing one. It's a tedious thing to invite your parents into the fold of your household's daily rhythm, particularly when you and your spouse are making decisions that stray from their own. In the beginning, it was a challenge for me to relinquish any facet of care. I became a "helicopter" parent, batting off any influence that I feared would "ruin" my kids' development. I kept my baby close because I had such profound anxiety surrounding my child's emotional and physical well-being. As my daughter grew into a toddler, I began to loosen my grip, relaxing the control I had over every aspect of her daily life. My mother-in-law, retired and delighted to be asked to help out with childcare, was a godsend, arriving with an open heart when needed. However, there were times when she'd offer processed foods or provide ample screen time to our then-2-year-old. I was offended initially, but after some time, I realized that my expectations of her were unrealistic, and my skepticism that she had some sort of ulterior motive wasn't rooted in truth. She'd also raised two children — two wonderful human beings — one of whom I'd chosen to marry, and she cared for my daughter with that same incredible love and attention, in her own way. They're taking my kids on an RV trip this summer, and it'll be good for everyone Now, I have two small children — both girls, 3 and 5 — so when my mother-in-law asked if they could spend a few days with them in their RV in a nearby town this summer, I agreed, without hesitation. Of course, I will always be a little unnerved by our generational differences, which tend to surface via casual remarks, specifically surrounding gender roles, politics, or faith. But I've arrived at this: it is important that I allow my children to experience that precious (and time-sensitive) one-on-one time with my husband's parents — their grandparents. Not to mention, my husband has waxed for years about fond memories of taking RV trips with his mother's parents, both of whom passed away years ago. Recently, I asked him what he remembered about all those camping trips, and I was surprised to learn that he didn't remember any notable landmarks, any final destinations, or any geographical specifics. 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