Head of garda group: 'The moment I came out, it became the most insignificant part of me'
Mark O'Meara is currently the elected head of the
Garda Representative Association
(GRA) which represents rank and file members of Ireland's police force.
In an interview published in the Garda Review, the group's magazine, he speaks about his own experiences of being a gay man in An Garda Síochána.
O'Meara, who was first a member of the Metropolitan Police in London when he left Thurles, Co Tipperary in the 1980s. He then came home to Ireland and became a garda.
He said his decision to speak openly was to give people an understanding of the difficulties he faced coming to terms with his sexuality and that he hopes it will help other gardaí.
'I am now in the final year of my presidency and I felt it was important to talk about this while I still had the platform of the position that I hold and hope to get across my experience of being a gay man within An Garda Síochána and perhaps inspire others to know it is okay to be open and honest about who they are,' he said.
O'Meara said that he felt it would be 'disingenuous' if he didn't speak up.
'I just wanted to be open and honest and if this interview even helps one member of the GRA and indeed, An Garda Síochána, then it will have been worth it,' he added.
The interview is the GRA's way also to mark Dublin Pride Parade on 28 June – it will come on 10th anniversary of the marriage equality referendum.
Mark is married now to his partner Rory but he was married previously. In the interview he explained how difficult that time was for him as he was finding a way to be open about his sexuality with his loved ones from the previous relationship.
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'Having hidden my sexuality most of my life, I think now that I can be open and honest on how difficult that time of my life was, and I have no doubt so too, do many other gay people who can't, or who are afraid to come out, and so might suffer damaging mental and physical health.
'It's not being the real you, the complete you, that affects your relationships with others, in my case it was with my ex-wife and our two children,' he added.
O'Meara said his experience of life in An Garda Síochána was positive and when he came out to his colleagues he was working in the driving school in Templemore Garda College.
He said he was worried, before telling his colleagues, that he would be outed at work and keeping the secret was the most difficult time for him.
'But there's no doubt that for a number of years I struggled to have the confidence
I have now.
'There were times when my daily prevailing thought was 'will someone look at me and say, he looks gay' and so up to the point where I came out, my sexuality was definitely one of the most difficult issues I ever dealt with.
'But the moment I came out it immediately became the most insignificant part of me,
it meant nothing,' he added.
Despite those struggles O'Meara does not regret coming out sooner.
'If I came out sooner, or even been conscious of how I really felt, that I wouldn't have married or had my children, perhaps wouldn't have then met my husband.
'So the timing and what happened over the years is nothing that I regret as I wouldn't be the man I am or have the things I have today.
'So I have no regrets as such, just perhaps guilt, some justifiable, some unjustified because you find solace in the fact that you were trying to protect your kids from hurt and pain.
'But in the end, it was for the best as my kids now see a much happier dad and we have a brilliant relationship,' he added.
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