‘How do we love?': Young Chinese explore answers in classrooms

Borneo Post

3 days ago

A student takes selfies with family members at a national college entrance examination site in Shijiazhuang City, north China's Hebei Province on June 9, 2025. – Xinhua photo
BEIJING (July 19): In an era that increasingly values diverse life choices – whether embracing romance, exploring virtual love, or opting out altogether – one question still resonates with many, especially the young: How do we love and be loved in return?
At Wuhan University of Technology (WUT), in central China's Hubei Province, that very question lingers in the minds of over a hundred students enrolled in one of the university's most popular electives: Psychology of Love.
But this is no dating bootcamp. It's a form of emotional education, urgently needed as many young people feel ill-equipped to manage the emotional complexities of modern connection, particularly in a time of increasing academic, economic, and psychological pressure.
For sophomore Zou Tao, who is navigating a long-distance relationship with his high school sweetheart, the class has offered something missing from his years of academic training: lessons on how to understand emotions and effective communication.
'My girlfriend sometimes gets upset at the worst moments,' Zou said.
'I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know why, or how to respond. This course helps.'
Zou is part of a growing wave of young Chinese searching for more than just an answer to whether to love. They are asking how to build, understand, and sustain intimate relationships.
Based on a nationwide survey of 32,282 college students, researchers at the Beijing-based Capital University of Economics and Business found that while 53.86 per cent had been in a romantic relationship, only 26.5 per cent were currently involved.
Notably, about 25 per cent had neither dating experience nor interest in pursuing one.
'Many students are emotionally curious but deeply confused. They crave closeness yet fear vulnerability,' noted Zhang Xiaowen, who teaches Psychology of Love at WUT and draws on her dual roles as a psychology professor and long-time student counselor.
Despite its title, Zhang's course focuses on fostering emotionally intelligent, healthy relationships – romantic or otherwise – through case studies and open in-class discussion.
Students are encouraged to share their experiences and struggles in class and build friendships across genders, gaining new perspectives to move beyond self-centeredness.
'Of course, we are not here for dating tips from a textbook,' said Zou.
He credits the course's interactive format with helping him clarify his thoughts, reduce relationship anxiety, and gradually find his emotional compass.
Since its launch in 2012, Zhang's course has drawn overwhelming interest. Although capped at 130 students, over 1,500 attempt to enroll each semester, with some even sitting on the floor or standing in the back to attend.
Across Chinese campuses, romance-themed electives are becoming unexpected hits. At Zhejiang Gongshang University, more than 1,600 students competed for 70 slots in a similar love psychology course.
At Wuhan University, over 1,000 students signed up for a Positive Psychology course that only had 200 spaces.
But not all such courses receive praise. At a Shanghai university, one love-related elective sparked backlash over what students perceived as outdated or gender-biased content.
'The last thing we want is to be preached at,' said a master's student surnamed Wen.
'We need tools to handle real-life emotional challenges, not romantic doctrine.'
This sentiment underscores the importance of well-constructed, empathetic courses like WUT's Psychology of Love.
Now listed as a national-level premium psychology course on China's massive open online course (MOOC) platform, it has reached well beyond the classroom, attracting over a million cumulative enrollments online.
The popularity of love education runs alongside real societal concerns.
Between 2013 and 2022, China's marriage registrations declined for nine consecutive years, according to the National Bureau of Statistics.
After a brief rebound in 2023, the number dropped again in 2024.
A 2025 survey by the Chinese Academy of Sciences (CAS) found that among 55,781 college students and 7,366 adults, those aged 18 to 24 showed lower levels of desire for romantic relationships, marriage, or parenthood.
Cao Aihua, a sociology professor at Nankai University, noted that while many young people aren't opposed to love or marriage, they tend to prioritise academic and career development.
'They're pragmatic,' she said, 'and place greater value on personal feelings and fulfillment.'
Zhang from WUT noted a critical shortfall in China's education system: 'We teach academic knowledge and professional skills, but we don't teach students how to be alone without feeling lonely, how to express emotions, or how to communicate in a relationship or family.'
Chen Zhiyan, professor at the CAS Institute of Psychology, echoed that view. She suggests that topics related to marriage and family should be integrated into subjects like ethics, psychology, Chinese, and English throughout the entire education process, since 'all texts carry values and ideas'.
But experts caution that classroom instruction alone isn't enough.
'The development of attitudes toward love and marriage is a complex, multifaceted process shaped by various influences,' said Zhang Jiangxing, director of the psychology center at Jinan University in Guangdong Province.
Compared to family upbringing and societal factors, classroom education can play an important but limited supporting role, he argued.
Still, even modest classroom interventions can make a difference. Student feedback suggests the message is getting through.
One married learner taking the course of Psychology of Love on the MOOC platform wrote: 'I have been married for years, but this class made me realise how little I understood marriage. I have started listening more and arguing less.'
Another posted, 'Love is beautiful. But the most important thing is learning how to love yourself.'
For WUT student Zou, that insight rings true. He's still learning how to navigate the emotional landscape of young adulthood – but now with greater awareness.
'Dating is about finding someone you like and becoming a better version of yourself in the process,' he said.
And marriage? Zou smiled. 'That's for the future. First, let's learn how to love.' – Xinhua China love romance Wuhan University of Technology Xinhua