Rachel Reeves: archangel of hope fails miserably at making everyone feel better off

The Guardian

2 days ago

When Rachel Reeves took over the Treasury last year, she went out of her way to portray herself as the Ministering Angel of Death. Her stock answer to any question was that 'Everything is terrible'. The Tories had bankrupted the country. There was no money for anything. Pensioners were going to have to die to save the rest of the country. Everywhere she looked there was only a world of pain.
And more pain was all she had to offer. But hers would be a Labour pain. A fiscally responsible Labour pain. A pain for which the country had voted in the last election. A pain which everyone would stoically bear in the national interest. The sunlit uplands would have to wait a while.
Only less than a year on and it turns out that people aren't all that thrilled with being offered a diet of yet more pain. They have had enough of that under the Tories. They had voted for Labour because they hoped they would offer an alternative.
A morally superior, fiscally responsible pain might sound good in theory, but people have had enough of everything being a bit shit. Even if they can logically understand it might take a while for Reeves to turn things round, they don't want to hear about it. They would rather be lied to that there are quick fixes available. Just text Nigel Farage and he will offer you any number of them.
Rachel had promised us only one major financial event a year. After the budget and the spring statement we now had a third. The spending review: a budget without the tax rises. For this spending review the Ministering Angel of Death had tried to reincarnate herself as the Archangel of Hope. A beacon of light and joy who was here to tell us all that things were going to be great after all. More than that, they were great now. A lesson to all of us in cognitive dissonance.
After a prime minister's questions in which Kemi Badenoch had reminded everyone that she really wasn't that good in the job by saying how much she hoped to improve, the Archangel of Hope got to her feet. She did her best to sound upbeat, but it didn't come naturally. Still, fake it to make it.
Her purpose in life was to make everyone feel better off. And she had more or less done that. Tick for Rachel's life goal. If you didn't feel better, then the problem was with you. She had done her bit. This was a contract with the people and the people had to pull their weight.
It was all going to be an uphill struggle. Yes, she knew that most of the money she was going to promise was for capital projects that wouldn't see the light of day for years, but she wanted everyone to look on the bright side.
Day-to-day spending might be down and you might still be waiting too long for a life-saving operation but it was a good moment to go and look at a field and imagine how it would look with an affordable housing development on it in 15 years time. Labour MPs nodded along and cheered. They could do this. Keir Starmer looked slightly preoccupied. Maybe he knew something they didn't.
Next, the Archangel of Hope switched her attention to the opposition parties. Here she was on much stronger ground. You might think that she wasn't entirely in command of all the numbers but just spare a moment to think of the alternatives. Then you will come running back to Labour. The Tories she dismissed in a sentence. Fourteen years and Liz Truss. She and the country no longer takes them seriously. The real opposition is Nigel Farage. Much of her speech was aimed at Reform. Nige had loved the Liz Truss budget and was now making even greater fantasy tax and spending commitments than she had. If you want to be broke, then Farage was your man.
We then went into a 20-minute lacuna of suspended animation. Rachel might have been talking of her excitement of renewal – a time of plenty for housing, defence and health – but it didn't come across in her delivery. Rather the words died in her mouth. Rachel isn't a fluent communicator. There had been a month long buildup of leaks and speculation to this speech and now we were in danger of nodding off.
Even so, it didn't really feel as if we were missing that much. Sure there was a promise to end the use of hotels for immigrants – something Labour should have done much earlier – and there were some large sums mentioned elsewhere, but the devil would be in the detail. The areas of public spending that the Archangel of Hope said she valued but which came with no money attached. Presumably these were just honourable mentions in despatches. Areas that were actually in line for real terms cuts.
But today was not a day for bad news. This was a day when the money tree was turned on. Especially for Labour MPs in areas that are threatened by Reform. Of the 20 Trailblazing English towns in line for a £20m handout, 19 are Labour seats. Even better, Reeves had identified £14bn of efficiency savings. The UK was going to get its very own Doge. Only this time the money would be passed back to public spending elsewhere. These were Labour choices. The choices of the British people. Everything was for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
It's becoming increasingly hard not to feel just a little bit sorry for Mel Stride. OK, we know he's out of his depth and he has the air of a Home Counties bank manager whose branch has been scheduled for closure, but it's a thankless task being shadow chancellor. He mumbled something about tax rises that may or may not come in the autumn, but mostly he was made to betray the fact that he had no clue what the Tories would do if they were in power. Not that anyone is about to make the mistake of handing them power any time soon. But the Melster smiled gamely. He is content with his own mediocrity.
That just left the Archangel of Hope to wind things up. It was time for everyone to cheer up. The era of miserabilism was over. Labour had turned the corner. Everything was going to be great whether you liked it or not. Happy days were here again.