Dad Nails Exactly Why 'Toddlers Are Terrorists'

Newsweek

5 hours ago

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A sleep-deprived dad has left internet users screaming after recounting the many ways he has been personally victimized and held hostage by his own toddler.
Once upon a time, André Crews of New Jersey used to enjoy peaceful mornings, time to himself, and a good night's sleep. But now with a 3-year-old son, that is all firmly in the past.
Indeed, life as a dad is very different for Crews, 38, who shared an Instagram Reel (@andrecrews) comparing toddlers to terrorists. They may look cute and harmless, but Crews told Newsweek that toddlers like his son "have all the leverage and cannot be negotiated with."
Of course, Crews loves being a dad to Jameson, and a dog owner to Hawley and Jersey, but it is not without its challenges. It doesn't matter if they want chocolate, a new toy, or refuse to get in the bath—it is their way or nothing.
From left: André Crews of New Jersey walks his dogs and discusses toddler parenting.
From left: André Crews of New Jersey walks his dogs and discusses toddler parenting.
@andrecrews / Instagram
"Toddlers have very little understanding of their emotions and how to express themselves, so their behaviors can be wildly erratic," Crews said. "We just have to do what they say in the middle of the night or everyone pays the price. The same can be said if we're out in public and something upsets him.
"If I don't get him his yogurt or come lie down next to him or rub his back until he falls asleep, he will scream and not only wake up my wife and dogs, but our neighbors in the townhouse community," he continued.
While he was walking his dogs, Crews recorded a video discussing the many ways "toddlers are terrorists" and how he has been held hostage by his own son. He had no idea the video would go viral with over 3.4 million views and more than 219,000 likes at the time of writing.
The online reaction has been astonishing for Crews, who said he was just venting his "fatigued frustration." Plenty of parents related to the video and said they finally felt seen.
Crews said: "Having a toddler is like living with your best friend from college who habitually drank too much, blacked out, did terrible things, but somehow woke up before you the next morning and brought you a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.
"The sleep deprivation is horrible, but I love being Jameson's dad. He is hands down my favorite person; at least during daylight hours. I am blessed to have a happy, funny, smart, hardworking son. I know that this phase is just temporary, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible," Crews said.
It is hard to count the many ways he has been victimized by his own son, but most notably it happened when Jameson transitioned from a crib to a children's bed. The idea was that he could have more space and independence, but he evidently wasn't fond of that idea.
Crews said that his toddler started walking into his parents' room "any time he felt the need to." One night, he made 10 appearances and was "screaming as if he was being tortured" each time.
Now, Crews has just set up a comforter in his son's room instead. It certainly doesn't offer the same lumbar support, but there is just no way of compromising with a toddler.
"During the day, we discuss what happened the night before. I try to explain to him that he needs sleep to grow up to be big and strong. And that mommy and daddy need sleep so we can take care of him," Crews said.
The viral Instagram video has amassed over 6,000 comments so far, as social-media users lauded Crews for his take on parenting.
One comment reads: "The meanest humans are all between 2 & 4 yrs old."
Another Instagram user wrote: "It's preparation for the teenage years. Gotta be strong!"
A third person joked: "The accuracy of this. I swear they just tiny villains."
One commenter added: "I felt these words in my soul."
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