'Let's call the Ballymena riots what they are: a vile excuse for toxic men to use women's pain to be violent'

Cosmopolitan

a day ago

Yesterday, I received a text in my family Whatsapp group that brought tears to my eyes. My mum, a member of a church in my tight-knit, coastal hometown in Northern Ireland, messaged to tell us that a group of young asylum seekers, who had kindly volunteered their time to paint a children's room in the church, had been forced to stop.
Later, a wellness hub provided for these people – many of whom had come to the area after fleeing war-struck places like Iran and Syria – to teach them how to sew and craft, and receive mental health and language skills support, also had to be cancelled, to ensure their safety.
Why? Because a group of violent men had weaponised a young woman's trauma as an excuse to be openly, and horrifically, racist.
Just days ago on 9 June, what began as a peaceful protest in response to an alleged serious sexual assault against a teenage girl in Ballymena, Northern Ireland, soon descended into hate-filled violence. On that Monday morning, two 14-year-old boys appeared in Coleraine Magistrates' Court, charged with attempted oral rape. The boys confirmed their names and ages using a Romanian interpreter. When this information was made public, what followed, unfortunately, did not surprise me.
Rather than come together to protest and combat violence against women and girls, something that happens day-in, day-out, and is (more often than not) perpetrated by males from all walks of life, local (mostly) men and boys seized the opportunity to take a young woman's trauma, ignore it, and use it to justify four days of rioting and racist violence.
In an example of peak selective anger, several thousand people descended on a place known locally as 'Ken's car park', wearing balaclavas and gloves. Rioters unleashed petrol bombs, targeting the houses of foreign nationals, many of whom have lived peacefully in our town for years, and many of whom were still inside the properties when they were set ablaze.
Cars belonging to Filipino families were blown up. People resorted to hanging Union Jack flags on their homes in an attempt to keep rioters from their doors. In one of many terrifying videos documenting houses being set on fire, a woman could be heard saying: "If they're local, they need out. If they're not local, let them stay there [and burn]."
In 2020, one Northern Irish mother, Emma Jane McParland, was at home when her 21-year-old son attacked her, stabbing her five times with a kitchen knife and ultimately murdering her. In 2022, another woman, Natalie McNally, was killed when she was 15 weeks pregnant, after being stabbed and suffering blunt force trauma to her head in her Lisburn home. Her partner, Stephen McCullagh, was charged with murder and is awaiting trial (he is expected to plead not guilty).
There were no riots. No protests. I saw barely any men posting about their horror after hearing of those cases, passionately wanting to take action to help support women.
Between 2023 and 2024, there were approximately 4,090 sexual offences recorded by the Police in Northern Ireland. Of those, 1,181 were rape offences. Since 2020, 25 women have been killed in Northern Ireland. All but one of these women were killed by a man, or a man has been charged in connection with their deaths. Northern Ireland's femicide rate is the second highest in Europe.
Where was the outrage when each of these women died? When Emma and Natalie were killed in their own homes? Where was the protesting then?
The riots in Ballymena are not about protecting women, let's be honest about it. But they are about exerting power and hate under the guise of 'justice'. If outrage leads to racial scapegoating instead of creating actionable change, then it is clear that the people participating in the violence do not actually care about the young girl whose trauma has likely only been made worse by the chaos and fear they've created.
All of the women and girls who are experiencing trauma because of sexual violence have been pushed to the side, while the country focuses its efforts on blatant racism and hatred.
It's something that Janaya Walker, Head of Public Affairs at the End Violence Against Women Coalition (EVAW), says is sadly not uncommon. "The far-right and its supporters have a long history of co-opting sexual violence to promote their own racist, white supremacist agenda,' she explains. 'These individuals and groups are often known misogynists who never actively or meaningfully campaign to improve women and girls' autonomy, rights and freedoms – in fact, they tend to support a patriarchal view of the family and interpersonal relationships.'
'We have grown worryingly used to hearing violence against women and girls weaponised in both far-right and mainstream political rhetoric, to justify racist policies and laws that cause significant harm, including to women and survivors of gender-based violence. This must stop. Any government committed to tackling violence against women and girls must prioritise prevention by tackling the inequalities that drive this abuse.'
As a woman who grew up in Northern Ireland – a beautiful country where people passing you on a walk will greet you with a 'Hello, how are you?', despite the fact you've never met – today, I'm utterly ashamed. The extreme levels of violence and fury being displayed right now is not reflective of the vast majority of people from my home, but of a small, ever-present minority of small-minded, violent, deeply angry individuals.
And it's not just Northern Ireland that's exemplifying a clear case of using female pain to incite racist vitriol: the Southport riots of 2024, which followed fatal stabbings at a children's dance class, also took that pain and twisted it into a weapon of hate. Fuelled by misinformation surfaced on social media that the suspect was an illegal migrant, scores of (again, mostly) men stormed Southport Mosque and Islamic Cultural Society Centre, throwing bricks at police and windows. Running with this false rumour, the selective anger of these men grew and spread across the country, where mobs then also ran riot in London, Hartlepool, Manchester and Aldershot, amongst other regions, largely targeting migrant communities.
Who actually benefits when communities tear themselves apart like this? Certainly not the young girl at the heart of this matter in Ballymena.
If these men are angry at the violence levelled against women and girls, then good, they should be. But what they should then be doing is directing that rage at the system which routinely fails victims. Hurl it instead at the toxic views spouted by men who still support the likes of Conor McGregor (the Irish martial artist who was recently found liable in a civil case for sexual assault – and who was then invited to visit President Trump in the White House and who still has over 46 million Instagram followers). They should be putting this energy into stopping their friends who partake in catcalling after having one too many in the local pub.
None of the rioting fixes anything. It doesn't keep our women and girls safe. It serves only as a reminder that these men are not listening to the pain and trauma of women and girls, unless it fits their own unrelated, hate-filled agenda.
Sara Macauley is a Northern Irish freelance writer, currently living in London. Follow her on Instagram.